We Found Love (16 page)

So he’d gone to A&D group, talked about his feelings there… well, without getting specific, but that wasn’t a requirement. He wanted so badly to talk to Riley about the specifics, though. He wanted to hear Riley’s. Wanted Riley to talk to
anyone
. Would that get Riley out?

“Breakfast, Morgan,” an orderly said, popping his head in the door. He was one of the few Hunter saw regularly, but he couldn’t remember his name. Hunter sat up and waved his acknowledgment. “Thirty minutes ’til group.”

“Cool. On my way.” Hunter stood and stretched before he headed out. When he walked into the hallway, he was stunned to see Bubba sitting beside the nurses’ office in street clothes.

Bubba glanced Hunter’s way and stood, holding out his hand for a shake. “I’m bouncin’ out of here, Morgan.”

Hunter didn’t know why that surprised him so much. Bubba had been much calmer since he’d been put on his meds. “They’re letting you out, huh?”

Bubba winked. “You know you just gotta play the game. Promise to be a good boy and take the meds.”

Hunter snorted and shook his head. “Well, hope not to see you back in here.”

“No doubt, my man. You and Sunshine should look me up when you bust outta this joint.”

Hunter winced at the thought that may never happen, not with Riley, anyway. “Will do.”

“Tell Sunshine to keep his eye on the prize.” Bubba leaned in conspiratorially. “And by the prize I mean lots of butt fuckin’.” Hunter guffawed as Bubba patted him on the back.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”
Because I want to get punched, and all.

A nurse called for Bubba…. Shane. Now he’d go back to being Shane. On the outside. Shane gave Hunter his patented cocky-bastard winking smirk and a salute. “Keep it real, Jim.” Then he followed the nurse into the office, and Hunter turned toward the common room to get his breakfast. His and Riley’s gazes collided, Riley having obviously noticed their coconspirator was on his way out.

Fuck.
Now they couldn’t even sit together, not without a third person. And none of the other guys would be cool with Riley and Hunter’s quiet flirting with each other in their face.

Something happened then that worried Hunter. Riley clenched his jaw and his fists; then he completely relaxed, eyes shuttered, like he’d checked out. No way that could be a good sign.

T
ODAY
OF
all days, and for no reason at all, Andy popped up in Riley’s head again. It’d been a conversation they had in the forbidden wing, something about Riley being one of the good guys. He distinctly remembered Andy saying, “If I batted for your team, I’d totally go for you.” They’d both laughed over the situation, even though Andy had straight-up kissed Riley more than once. The kissing had led to a blowjob that, proudly, Andy had said was one of the best he’d ever gotten. Theirs was a weird relationship but one Riley had cherished.

No, Riley knew what made him think about Andy today. A year ago today, Riley and Andy had made their first trip down to the forbidden wing and, subsequently, shared their first kiss.

He lay on his bed, staring up at the rough, dotted surfaces of the discolored ceiling tiles, picturing the way Andy had looked at him that night, the kindness in his eyes and the gentleness of his touch. Andy had been one of the good guys, that was for sure.

Just like Hunter.

Jesus Christ, he missed Hunter worse than he did Andy. It had been close to two weeks since they shared the same room. Save for group sessions and meals, Riley never got to see him and damn sure didn’t get to see him alone. They were always in the company of that mouthy jackass, Shane. Or Bubba. Or whatever the fuck his name was. No alone time. No more kissing. No more hugging. No more laughing and talking and feeling like he was free again. And no more trips to the forbidden wing. Their second date had been their last.

All things considered, though, Riley had been doing a good job keeping his temper and his thoughts on the safe side of somewhat controlled. He’d fallen back into zombie mode, just like he’d been after Andy had died. He didn’t really talk to anyone, not even Hunter. Any free time was spent with his head in a book. It was a hell of a lot better than watching Hunter and Shane chumming it up, better than watching them walk the grounds together from the inside of a filthy window.

Today, though, with Andy on his mind and his aggravation with the Shane-Hunter situation, Riley could feel his fuse shortening. The curtain not staying closed in the shower pissed him off. His eggs being cold at breakfast pissed him off. Jerry calling him for group
really
pissed him off. Now he sat in his chair at the opposite side of the circle from Hunter, glaring down at the tiled floor with so much contempt he was surprised a hole didn’t spontaneously erupt in the line of his sight.

He was trying to appear as content as possible, quietly sitting in his chair minding his own business, when the doctor called to him, “Riley, did you figure out your trigger?”

Riley didn’t respond. Didn’t so much as nod.

“Connors, I’m talking to you.”

Still nothing.

“Riley Connors, you’re doing yourself and this group a huge disservice….”

Her voice trailed off into a bunch of blah, blah, blah that became increasingly distant the longer she rattled on, or maybe he didn’t hear her because he got sick of listening to her. And like a twig breaking under the weight of someone’s foot, the thread tethering him to what little sanity he had left snapped.

He jerked up to his feet, stabbing his finger toward the floor as he said, “You wanna know what my trigger is?” She didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t a question that needed a response. “You’re my trigger. This place is my trigger. This whole entire system is my trigger.” He paused long enough to take a breath. “I’ve been doing this shit for ten fucking years. Ten. No one has fixed me yet. If you assholes knew what the hell you were doing, I probably wouldn’t have tried to kill myself. Maybe Andy wouldn’t have killed himself, either.”

He caught a glimpse of Hunter shifting from the corner of his eye, bringing him back to another valid point. “And you dumb shits took away the only thing I looked forward to waking up to. You’re the fucking failure! Not me!” Riley lifted his foot, kicked forward, and planted the rubber sole of his slipper right in the center of the chair he’d been sitting in. It went sliding across the floor, crashing as it tumbled to a stop close to the back wall. Everyone winced. And he’d been so busy in the middle of his tirade, he hadn’t seen anyone pop the Call button on the intercom, nor did he hear the bigass orderlies coming up behind him.

One attached to his torso, wrapping him up in a reverse bear hug that pulled Riley off his feet. For all the good it did. The behemoth behind him ended up getting nailed in the shins with the hard heels of Riley’s feet. Who knew where the slippers had gotten off to.

“Put me down!” Riley growled.

“Can’t do, Connors.”

“Fuck off!”

He was about to give another hard buck of the hips and toss of the head when Hunter’s eyes locked on his. “Dude, what are you doing?” he asked. “Why are you fighting?”

I don’t know, and… well, I don’t know.

“I want the fuck out of this place, right now! You can’t keep me here,” Riley yelled over Hunter’s head.

“You’re not going anywhere, Mr. Connors. This is involuntary detention, and until you’re no longer a threat to yourself or others, we can’t let you go,” the doctor said.

“Fuck you,” he spat back, bucking again.

“Ry. Man. C’mon,” Hunter said. “Stop. Seriously.”

Something pinched Riley’s hip. Then liquid fire radiated out from the spot. He didn’t dare take his eyes off Hunter, though. If he was going down for the count, he wanted to remember that face. Hell, he wanted to remember that face forever.

The room slowly faded, darkness eating away at the edges of Riley’s consciousness. His body turned limp noodle and buckled under his weight. Had it not been for the two big guys at his side, he would’ve collapsed. Last thing he heard was someone saying, “Hunter, sit down.” And for the few heartbeats Riley had normal brain function, he silently prayed Hunter hadn’t gotten himself in trouble.

Chapter 16

B
OREDOM
WAS
dangerous, Hunter discovered. He’d even started drumming his hands. Since when was hyperactivity contagious?
Thanks, Bubba.
Bubba, who’d been gone two days now. Two days since his buddy had gotten out, two days since they’d carried off a sedated Riley.

Hunter couldn’t even think on that. His emotions swung from pure terror for Riley to blind fury at him for being such a stubborn ass. Riley was his own worst enemy. Hunter was scared when he saw how bad Riley had flipped out, horrified when they sedated him and he fell limp as a corpse. Then he’d been furious—furious they’d separated Hunter and Riley to the detriment of Riley’s health, furious they’d manhandled Riley, and ragingly furious that Riley seemed damned determined to be stuck in this hellhole forever.

“I’ve been doing this shit for ten fucking years. Ten. No one has fixed me yet… I want the fuck out of this place, right now….”

What bullshit. Riley didn’t toe any of the lines. Bubba had worked the system. Hunter had followed instructions. They’d get to go home.

“Involuntary detention.”

Lifer.

No way Riley was trying to get out. Riley was fucked-up, and for good reason. Those people had broken him, the ones who’d kidnapped him. But he was stronger than that. What was Riley so fucking afraid of? Yeah, his ordeal was scary. He’d lost people. But… couldn’t he do this for himself? Hunter would never ask Riley to do it for him, though it was tempting.

Way to not think about it.
He jumped from the chair he’d been sitting in for the last hour, staring at the clock in the common room. It was almost lights out. He may as well go be bored in his room where he wasn’t getting annoyed glares from the other guys for his impatient finger drumming.

He walked over and filled a paper cup with fruit punch before heading out into the hallway. He’d only gotten two or three steps toward his room when he heard a door open on the far end of the hall. He glanced over his shoulder quickly but came up short and turned to watch as Riley and a nurse came in from a metal door on the farthest end of the wing. Riley was rolling his eyes but plainly in good spirits as he spoke with the smiling nurse, apparently amused by whatever she’d said to him.

Hunter drank his friend in with his eyes. Fuck, was it good to see him safe, in one piece, and not acting the part of a complete mental case. Then the nurse walked off to do something, so Riley fidgeted for a moment before he noticed Hunter. A smile lit up his face. And Hunter snapped.

He turned on his heel and stalked to his room, closing the door behind him with a
thud
. He didn’t slam it, ever mindful of getting dragged off to the same wing from which Riley’d just returned. But he was sure it made its point, still echoing enough in the halls for Riley’s benefit.

What the
fuck
? Riley had just scared the hell out of him, been carted off in the depths of sedation because he just
had
to show his ass. Like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, he’d acted out. As a result, he’d been taken from the wing for forty-eight-hour monitoring. Now he came back, smiling like he hadn’t scared the piss out of Hunter, like he hadn’t pissed Hunter off with his theatrics.

That’s not fair.
Hunter ran his hands over his face, scratching the scruff on his cheeks. He knew he was angry at Riley for something Riley may not be able to control. He’d learned two of Riley’s biggest problems were anxiety and impulse control. But that didn’t calm Hunter’s ferociously thudding heart, his racing thoughts. Hunter wanted to throw shit.

That’ll accomplish something.

A knock on his door had Hunter swinging around, obviously not schooling his expression well, if Wally’s flinching back was an indicator. “You all right, Morgan?”

Taking a deep breath, Hunter nodded. “Yeah. I’m good. Lights out?” Even he could hear the shortness of his tone, words mildly bitten off.

“You need a nurse? Something for sleep? You seem….”

“Agitated?” Hunter laughed unkindly.

“That. You need me to call someone down?” Wally was shuffling foot to foot, nervously. Seriously? Who hired this motherfucker?

“I’m fine. Just got a little annoyed. I’ll wind down.”
Play the game, Morgan. Keep your cool.
“I just need sleep, that’s all.” Which probably wasn’t far off as a personal observation. He hadn’t been sleeping well. He was definitely irritable before he’d seen Riley; now he was just pissed. Pissed at himself for getting involved with yet another person who didn’t want to help themselves, pissed at himself for not being more pissed… fucking meds. Pissed at Riley because he was broken, even if it wasn’t completely his fault. Even more pissed at the people who’d broken Riley.