When the Music Ends (The Winter Rose Chronicles) (10 page)

            "Okay.
You know, I don’t have anywhere to go tomorrow. I’ll stay here, if
you want. I promise I won’t bother you, but at least if you…need
someone, I’ll be in the house."

            "That
would make me feel a lot better, Erin," Ellen told her.

            "I’ll
come over too." Sean offered, "I’m not liking being in my apartment
when my family is going through such a hard time."

            He
gave Erin a quick look. She understood what he was telling her. He was worried
about his sister, but he was also worried about her ability to handle the
burden of this family she had placed on herself. She would definitely need his
support.

            The
Murphy parents reluctantly agreed not to postpone their Black Friday excursion.
They would leave early, before five in the morning, and be gone all day. Erin lent them her cell phone so they could call periodically and check in. Sheridan complained that everyone was treating her like a baby, but when Erin hugged her,
her eyes got very shiny and she didn’t say anything else. Sean decided to
spend the night at the house, sleeping in his brother Jason’s old room.

            That
night, Erin had a hard time relaxing. It wasn’t the sorrow over Sheridan’s pregnancy crisis. It was the knowledge that Sean, her beautiful perfect
Sean, was sleeping on the other side of the wall. Her body was screaming at her
to go to him. It had been a while since they had been together, and she really
wanted to make love…now!

            She
tried to restrain herself, knowing that Sheridan’s parents didn’t
want her having sex in their house. She didn’t want to abuse their
hospitality, but she felt like she was on fire.

            There
was a soft squeak of bedsprings from the other side of the wall. A door opened
softly. Erin’s breath caught. Maybe he was just going to the bathroom. It
wouldn’t do to assume anything.

            The
handle on the bedroom door turned, and then he was there, only wearing a pair
of black shorts, quietly closing the door, moving on silent feet across the
carpet, climbing into the bed beside her, taking her in his arms.

            "I
love you, Erin," he breathed against her ear, "and I need you right
now. How quiet can you be?"

            "As
quiet as I need to be, to have you with me."

            His
mouth came down on hers in an endless tender kiss while his fingers busily
opened the buttons of her pajama top. Never releasing her mouth, he slid the
garment from her shoulders and pressed her against him so her small breasts
rubbed on his chest. Her hands slid inside the waistband of his shorts,
lowering them so she could touch the silky skin of his lower back, and so his erection
could press enticingly against her belly. She sighed with pleasure. Sex with
Sean was one of the greatest joys in her life.

            He
ended the kiss and she protested softly, trying to cling to him. In the
darkness, she saw the flash of his teeth as he grinned at her eagerness. He
grasped the waistband of her pajama bottoms and she lifted her hips so he could
pull them from her. She lay back on the bed, nude and spread out before him, her
dark hair spilling over the pillows.

            Sean
looked down at his beloved. Her beauty was so arousing. But there was something
wrong. She should be getting rounder. She was almost ten weeks pregnant after
all, but instead she looked thinner than ever. Each rib was visible, even in
the darkness of the room, and her hip bones stood out in sharp relief. The
strain of her own problems and his family’s must be too much for her to
bear. He would have to help her get back into balance. It wasn’t good for
her or the baby to be so malnourished. But there was nothing to be done about
it tonight, and the desire was volcanic between them.

            He
quickly shucked his shorts and knelt between her thighs, leaning over her to
caress and fondle her nipples. Her breath caught. They were very sensitive, and
responded eagerly to his gentle touches. He leaned down to kiss and suckle
first one straining peak and then the other before kissing his way down her
belly, down, lower and lower until his mouth was on her intimate flesh. He parted
those lips with his tongue and began to tease her clitoris with it.

            Erin had to concentrate very hard on her breathing, keeping it silent as Sean went down on
her. It was one of the most intense sensations she had ever experienced, and it
just kept building higher, especially when he slid two fingers inside her. A
soft sound escaped, and she brought her hand to her mouth, biting her knuckle
in an attempt not to scream as she neared orgasm. One more firm lick sent her
over the edge. She panted but didn’t wail as pleasure rocked her. Before
the spasms had died away, Sean’s fingers withdrew and were quickly
replaced with his sex. She was drenched and ready for him, her body relaxed as
her orgasm faded, and he plunged deep, fast, sealing his mouth over hers to
prevent her making a sound.

            Even
though they had made love so often over the last couple of months, Sean was
still a little too big for Erin, and normally entered her very slowly, but
tonight there was no time. He needed her, and he took what he needed, hard and
fast, driving recklessly into her.

            If
it hadn’t been for his mouth on hers, Erin would have awakened the whole
house. Sean’s powerful thrusting had hurt a little at first, but now that
she was open, it was amazing. She had never felt so full before, not just in
her body, which was stretched to its limit, but in her heart as well. She had
never been well loved until Sean, and her adoration of this man was limitless.
She had no doubt that despite his talk of marriage, their relationship would
end someday. She simply wasn’t interesting enough to keep him forever,
but she would have him now, tonight, and in the future she would have this
child, this little piece of him that was hers forever, and it was enough.

            The
flames of Erin’s desire increased, burning her up, bringing her to
another hard wild climax that bowed her body. Her back arched, pressing Sean
even deeper inside her and he growled softly against her lips as he let go, let
his own pleasure reach its peak.

            It
took many minutes for them to calm down from loving so intense. Finally the
pounding of their hearts quieted, and their breathing returned to normal.

            "Did
I hurt you?" Sean whispered in Erin’s ear.

            "No.
It was amazing. Do you have to leave right away?"

            "I
would love to hold you all night, but that really isn’t the way I want to
tell them about us."

            "I
know."

            "I’ll
stay until you’re sleeping, okay, baby?"

            "That
would be great."

            They
cuddled together. At last Erin was able to relax enough to let sleep claim her.

******

            On
the far side of the wall, Sheridan was also awake. She had heard every soft
sound and knew exactly what it meant. Despite her own convictions, she
didn’t begrudge her brother and best friend their pleasure. It
sounded…interesting, wild and sweet, and very comforting. She
didn’t know if she would ever heal enough to want to sleep with a man,
but Sean and Erin gave her hope that someday that might change.

            Erin woke late the next morning, and was a little bemused to discover that she was nude
under the covers. Both she and Sean were a little forgetful in their passion.
She quickly pulled her pajamas back on and headed to the bathroom. She was a
little uncomfortable this morning, and there was a twinge in her belly. That
had been some really wild loving the previous night. She grinned. It
wasn’t bad having sex so powerful you could still feel it the next day.

            She
really needed to pee though, which was normal these days, but something felt
kind of strange. She was wet. Of course, it was not surprising. There was no
reason to waste time with condoms since she was already pregnant. It must just
be Sean’s semen running down her thigh. She lowered her pants and glanced
down. A red streak was already halfway to her knee.

            She
sat down quickly on the toilet, not wanting to get blood on the floor.

            "Sean!"
she called, not knowing if he was nearby.

            There
was a knock on the door.

            "Erin, are you all right?" It was Sheridan.

            "Get
Sean, please, Danny."

            "Okay."

            A
moment later Sean was outside the door.

            "Erin, what’s going on?"

            "I’m
bleeding."

            He
entered the room, dismayed at the blood she had already passed into the toilet.

            "What’s
happening?"

            "I
don’t know. I need to call the clinic emergency line. Please get me my
purse and the cordless phone."

            He
was back in a moment and Erin quickly fished out a business card and dialed the
call center. She explained her situation and was transferred to the labor and
delivery desk at the hospital.

            "Hello?
What can I do for you?"

            "I’m
about ten weeks pregnant. This morning, I started bleeding."

            "How
bad is it?"

            "Like
a heavy period."

            "Do
you have cramping too?"

            "Yes.
It hurts pretty badly."

            "Okay,
it sounds like you’re having a miscarriage."

            "Oh
God. What do I do?"

            "There’s
nothing to do really. Just wait it out. It shouldn’t take long. I know
it’s scary, but this isn’t an emergency. There’s no reason
for you to come to the hospital for it. Are you alone?"

            "No.
My boyfriend is here, and a friend also."

            "That’s
good. Okay, basically, just go with it unless you start bleeding really
heavily, like more than one maxi pad’s worth every half hour, or if you
feel faint. Then have someone drive you over here quick, but that probably
won’t happen."

            "Did
I cause this? We had sex last night."

            "No
you didn’t. Sex during pregnancy is safe. This was going to happen anyway."

            "Are
you sure?"

            "Yes.
Listen, once it’s over, you need to bring in…whatever you deliver
to the hospital delivery room. We need to examine it and make sure nothing was
left behind because that can cause infection. And you’ll need to have a
couple of blood tests to be sure your hormones return to normal."

            "Okay."
Erin hung up.

            Sean
was still there, looking worried.

            "What
is it, baby?"

            Erin sniffled. "I’m miscarrying. There’s nothing they can do. They said
just to wait it out here."

            "Really?"

            "Yeah.
I can’t believe it."

            Sean
took Erin’s hand and held it. Sheridan stood nearby trying to support her
friend with her presence. It really didn’t take that long. About an hour
later, there was a popping sensation and a gush of fluid, and she began to feel
a strong pressure. Erin pushed a little and delivered into her hands a mass of
bloody tissue. She looked at it for a moment before turning it over. She gave a
sharp cry of disbelief as the movement revealed a tiny, mostly formed human,
about the size of Sean’s thumb. It had a head and body, eyes, and arms
and legs with hands and feet. The fingers and toes were already recognizable.
It was very still.

            Erin bit her lip at the sight of her baby. It was so perfect. Why did it have to be dead? A
tear slid down her cheek.

            "Is
that what I have inside me too?" Sheridan breathed, "Okay, I know
what I have to do now."

            She
fled to her room and shut the door.

            Sean
had been silent. She looked at him. He was very upset.

            "Did
I do this? I was so rough with you last night."

            "No
Sean, you didn’t. I asked, and the nurse said it was going to happen
anyway. Us having sex right before was a coincidence. We need to
take…this to the hospital to be sure it’s intact, okay?"

            "How?
You’re still bleeding."

            "I
know. Can you please get me some clothes?"

            He
did, and she reluctantly handed him the baby, with its unpleasant mass of
placenta, so she could dress quickly. Thankfully there was a good supply of
maxi pads under the sink. Sean stared at his dead child as Erin pulled on her jeans
and sweater. It was really hard to take in. They had both made peace with this
pregnancy and what it meant, and now it was over. There would be no baby for
them, not now, and while that would make the rest of the year easier, it was
still a terrible loss, and they grieved it.