Witch Is Why The Laughter Stopped (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 14) (8 page)

“No, it’s all right. I just wondered if either of you knew anything about moles?”

Chapter 12

“Did you watch it?” Kathy screamed at me, as soon as I answered the phone.

I was halfway through my cornflakes; Jack had already left for work.

“Watch what?”

“I knew you’d forget!”

“Oh? You mean your TV show? Of course I did.”

“You forgot, didn’t you?”

“No. I can prove I watched it. You were wearing a pink blouse, and you had your hair taken up into a bun.”

“What was on the show?”

“There was an item on the importance of quality knitting needles. Now do you believe me?”

“Okay, sorry. What did you think of it?”

The truth was that I’d forgotten all about it again, but fortunately, Jack had remembered just in time. It was so boring that I’d fallen asleep after fifteen minutes. As long as Kathy didn’t ask me about the last half of the show, I’d be okay.

“I thought you did really well, Kathy.”

“You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“No, honestly. I thought you were great.”

“Thanks, Jill. Do you think I have a future in the business?”

“You’ve definitely got off to a good start. Did you enjoy it? That’s the main thing.”

“Yeah, I did. I was really nervous, but after a few minutes, I seemed to relax. Now, I can’t wait to do it again next week.”

Before going into the office, I magicked myself over to Candlefield. I’d had a phone call from Aunt Lucy. She’d asked if I’d go over and see her. I could tell she was upset about something.

“Jill, thank you so much for coming over.”

“You sounded upset. Is something the matter?”

“It’s a friend of mine, Gloria Cloverleaf. She’s died.”

“Oh dear. Had she been ill? Was it expected?”

“It came completely out of the blue. She’s the same age as me, and as far as I’m aware, she’d been in perfect health.”

“What happened?”

“That’s just it. Apparently, she was in the supermarket doing her weekly shop, and suddenly she started laughing uncontrollably. Then she collapsed and died. Just like that.”

“That sounds very much like what happened to the woman who collapsed when you and I were in Holo.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“And I saw a man die in exactly the same way in Cuppy C, the other day.”

“The twins told me someone had taken ill and died, but they didn’t mention the laughing.”

“It definitely sounds like the same thing. That’s three we know of, but I suppose there could be others.”

“What do you think is going on?” Aunt Lucy said.

“I really don’t know.”

“You should look into it, Jill. Do you have the time?”

“Of course.”

“I’d be so grateful. Gloria was a very good friend. It would help to know how she died.”

“Leave it with me.”

While I was in Candlefield, I popped into Cuppy C. Amber grabbed me as soon as I walked in the door, and ushered me through to the back.

“Jill, you must promise not to tell Pearl this.”

“Not to tell her what?”

“After we’d been to your housewarming party, William and me got talking. We never got around to having a housewarming party when we moved in, so we’ve decided to have one this Saturday.”

“How are you going to keep it a secret from Pearl? Surely, you’re going to invite her and Alan?”

“Yes, we’ll invite them, but not until the day before. You know what she’s like; she’s always copying me. If I tell her sooner, she’ll decide to throw one too. You have to promise you won’t tell her.”

“Okay.”

“And, you will come, won’t you, Jill?”

“I guess so.”

Satisfied, Amber went skipping back into the shop.

Another housewarming party? Great! That was just what I needed. I couldn’t even ask Jack to go with me, so I’d have to face it on my own. Maybe if there were enough people there, I could just show my face and sneak away.

I was about to go back into the shop when Pearl intercepted me.

“Jill, can I have a word?”

“Sure.”

“Will you promise not to say anything to Amber?”

That sounded ominous. “Of course. What is it?”

“Alan and I got to talking after we’d been to your housewarming party. We enjoyed it so much that we’ve decided to have one too.”

“When?”

“This Saturday.”

Oh, bum!

“Surely, you’re going to invite Amber?”

“Yes, of course, but if we tell her now, she’ll probably decide to have one too. You know how she is. She’s always copying me. You will come, won’t you?”

“Can you just hold on there a minute, Pearl?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” She looked puzzled.

I walked back into the shop. “Amber, have you got a minute?”

She followed me into the back.

“Look, you two, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just come straight out with it. In the last few minutes, both of you have invited me to a housewarming party this Saturday.”

Amber look daggers at Pearl; Pearl returned the look.

“I thought of it first,” Amber said.

“No, you didn’t. I thought of it first.”

“You can’t have yours on Saturday. We’re having ours on Saturday.”

“No, you’re not. We’re having ours then.”

“Girls! Timeout,” I interrupted. “Look, it’s obvious you’ll both be inviting the same people. They can’t be in two places at the same time, so you’re going to have to come to some agreement on days.”

“Ours is on Saturday,” Amber said.

“No, it’s not. Ours is.”

“I’ll leave you two to battle it out. When you’ve decided what you’re doing, let me know.”

With a bit of luck, they’d never reach an agreement, and there wouldn’t be any housewarming parties.

***

Back in Washbridge, I had an appointment with a new client. All I knew about her was her name: Jessica Lambeth. She hadn’t given me any details over the phone, and when Mrs V showed her into my office, I could see that she’d been crying.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be all right in a minute.”

“Can I get you a drink?” Mrs V offered.

“Not for me, thank you.”

She took a seat, and I waited until she’d composed herself. Jessica Lambeth was in her late twenties; everything about her looked sad, even her clothes.

“I don’t really know how to explain this,” she managed, eventually. “My boyfriend, Paul—he isn’t my boyfriend.”

“What do you mean? Has he ended the relationship?”

“No. We’re still together. What I mean is, Paul isn’t Paul. He looks like Paul, and he sounds like Paul, but it’s not him.”

“Perhaps he’s feeling a little under the weather at the moment?”

“No, that’s not it. He’s started to act differently. We used to spend most evenings together, either at his place or mine. Now, suddenly he’s started to go out in the evenings. He told me he’s been playing snooker with a friend, but I don’t believe him.”

“Do you think he might be cheating on you?”

“I never thought I’d suspect Paul of anything like that, but yes, I think it’s possible. That’s why I’m here. I’m hoping you can find out what’s going on.”

“Can you give me his details?”

She gave me his name, address, and his place of work, and I promised to see what I could find out.

After Jessica Lambeth had left, I made a call to Tip Top Construction using the name Sarah Mullen.

“Hello there,” I said, in my poshest voice. “I wonder if I could speak to Arthur Longstaff?”

Arthur Longstaff was the CEO of Tip Top Construction. I’d read numerous articles about the man, and none of them painted him in a good light. If the newspaper reports were to be believed, he was ruthless, and wouldn’t think twice about destroying his competition in any way he could. The man was a multimillionaire, and most of his money had come from construction contracts with councils, including Washbridge. His country house was several miles outside Washbridge.

“Who’s calling please?”

“Sarah Mullen from CEO Spotlight. We’re doing a series of articles on a few of the most successful CEOs in the country, and I’m hoping to interview Mr Longstaff.”

“I’ll put you through to his Press Secretary.”

The line went dead for a few minutes.

“Hello, Tamara Trotter here. I’m Arthur Longstaff’s Press Secretary. What exactly is it you’re after?”

“As I explained to your colleague, CEO Spotlight is doing a number of articles on the most successful CEOs in the country. I was hoping to arrange an interview with Mr Longstaff.”

“I’ve never heard of your magazine.”

“Really? It’s one of the better-known magazines in the business arena.”

“If it was that well-known, I would have heard of it.”

“Still, do you think I could arrange a meeting with Mr Longstaff?”

“I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible. Mr Longstaff is extremely busy and never gives interviews. If you have a list of questions, you’re welcome to submit them to me. If they’re appropriate, I may be able to provide you with written answers. That’s the best I can do.”

“I was hoping for a face-to-face interview.”

“Sorry. That’s not possible.”

The line went dead. I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her.

***

Jack arrived home a few minutes after me; he came bearing gifts.

“This is for you.” He handed me a small square package.

“I like it when you buy me presents.”

“Yeah. I like it when you buy them for me, too. Oh, wait a minute—you never do.” He grinned.

“That’s not true.” It so was. “What is it?”

“I saw a guy selling these, and I thought you’d love one.”

I tore off the gift wrap. Inside was a plain white box which I opened quickly. It was a snow globe; a beautiful snow globe.

“Do you like it?” Jack said.

“I love it.”

“Isn’t it the most realistic house you’ve ever seen inside a snow globe? Look at the detail. If you look through the windows, you can actually see the furniture inside.”

He was right; the detail was fantastic. But, given what I knew, that was hardly surprising.

Chapter 13

The next morning, I stared in disbelief as Jack poured almost a third of a pint of milk onto his cornflakes.

“Yuk!”

“What’s up?”

“How can you put so much milk on?”

“That’s how I like them.”

“But they’re all soggy, and horrible and yukky.”

“They’re delicious.” He shovelled a spoonful of the soggy mixture into his mouth.

“I can’t think what I ever saw in you.”

He grinned, as best he could with a mouth full of soggy cornflakes.

“Anyway, about that snow globe you bought me?”

He swallowed the mush. “What about it?”

“Where did you get it from?”

“No, you can’t take it back to get the money.”

“I don’t want to take it back; I really like it.”

“I know what you’re like. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve taken one of my presents back.”

“Those gloves were too small for me.”

“How was I supposed to know you had enormous hands?”

“I do
not
have enormous hands, thank you. They were kids’ gloves.”

“Why do you want to know where I got the globe from, then?”

“I thought Kathy might like one. I was thinking of buying her one as a surprise.”

“You never buy your sister a gift. Or anyone else for that matter.”

“That’s not true. I just don’t make a big song and dance about it like you do. So, where was it from?”

“There’s a guy selling them around the side of the station in West Chipping.”

“The police station? He’s taking a bit of a risk, isn’t he?”

“Not the police station; the railway station. I doubt he has a licence, so he may not still be around.”

“I might take a drive over there.”

“I can pick one up for you, if you like?”

“It’s okay. You wouldn’t know which one Kathy would like. I’ll need to choose it for her.”

“Fair enough.”

Daze had told me about a wizard, who was shrinking real houses in Candlefield, putting them into snow globes, and then selling them in Washbridge. It appeared he’d moved his operation to West Chipping where Jack was now stationed. Maybe the wizard had got wind that the Rogue Retrievers were after him. I’d soon find out.

Jack finished the last of the mulch, gave me a kiss on the forehead, and then left for work. As I was putting the pots into the sink, I noticed that Megan was in her garden, staring at the lawn. When I took the rubbish out to the bin, she spotted me.

“Morning, Jill.”

“Morning, Megan. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m on mole watch.”

“Is he back again?”

“There are three more molehills this morning. I don’t know where he suddenly came from.”

“It’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it?” Snigger.

“I think I’ll have to ask at the garden centre to see what they recommend. Or maybe I could ask Peter. Do you think he’d mind if I rang him?”

“Not at all. I’m sure he’d be happy to help.”

And Kathy would be thrilled too.

Stirring it? Who, me? I wouldn’t dream of it.

***

As I left the house for work, I glanced across the road. Blake’s car wasn’t on his drive, but Jen’s was still there, so I popped over.

“Morning, Jill. Do you want to come in?”

“No thanks, I’m on my way to work. I wanted to give you the final report on Blake.”

“Okay, but don’t talk too loud. I don’t want the neighbours to hear.”

“There’s nothing to tell, Jen. I’ve followed him for five days now, and he hasn’t done anything at all suspicious. I haven’t seen him so much as talk to another woman.”

She sighed with relief, and then smiled. “Thank you, Jill. Thank you so much. That’s really put my mind at rest.”

“So you’ll stop worrying about Blake holding things back from you?”

“Yes, I’ll try. At least now I know nothing serious is going on. I guess everyone has their little secrets, don’t they?”

“I suppose so.” And a few giant ones.

“How much do I owe you, Jill?”

“Nothing. You’re a neighbour. It’s on the house.”

“No, please, I insist. I’d feel so much better if you let me pay you.”

“You can buy me lunch sometime.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. That’s very kind.”

“I’d better get going. No more worrying, Jen. Promise?”

“I promise.”

Phew! I was glad that was over. Jen would probably always have the feeling that Blake was keeping something from her, but hopefully now, she wouldn’t fear the worst.

***

When I got to the office, I could hear the music from next door. Jules had her earphones in, so she didn’t hear me come through the door. Only when I tapped on her desk did she notice me and take out the earphones.

“Sorry, Jill, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“How long has that music been playing next door?”

“It was like that when I got here.”

“Right. I’ll have to have words with them.”

Before confronting the I-Sweat guys, I thought I’d better check on Winky.

He was looking out of the window; wearing his earmuffs. He didn’t realise I was there until I slapped the windowsill next to him, and then he almost fell off his perch.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” He pulled off the earmuffs. “I almost fell.”

“Sorry.” I laughed.

“You look sorry. When are you going to sort out that crowd next door? That music is driving me nuts.”

Just then, the music stopped.

“There, I’ve stopped it.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“Of course I did. I’m a powerful witch. I willed it to stop, and it did.” I lied.

He one-eyed me suspiciously.

By mid-morning, there had been no more sounds from next door, so I decided to give the I-Sweat guys the benefit of the doubt.

When a chill fell over the office, I thought maybe it was my dad. I hadn’t seen him since his first appearance as a ghost.

“Jill! Long time, no see.” It was the colonel, and by his side was Priscilla.

“Nice to see you, Colonel. You too, Priscilla. How are you both?”

“Apart from being dead?” Priscilla laughed at her own joke. “We’re great.”

“Absolutely top notch, Jill,” the colonel said. “We have something exciting to tell you, don’t we, Cilla?”

“We certainly do.” Her face lit up. “Well, to show you really.” She held out her hand. “Look.”

“What a beautiful ring. Am I to take it that you two are engaged?”

“We are.” Priscilla giggled.

“I thought it was time I made Cilla an honest woman, so I bought the ring, got down on one knee, and popped the question. And, what do you know, she said yes.”

“I’m really thrilled for you both. Have you set a date?”

“Nothing firm yet. But when we do, we’ll let you know because we’d like you to come to the wedding. You will come, won’t you?”

Just what I needed—another wedding. “Of course. I’d love to.”

“I’d like you to be my maid of honour,” Priscilla said.

“Maid of honour? Right. What colour would I have to wear?”

“I thought pink would be nice.”

***

The house and grounds of Arthur Longstaff’s country estate were surrounded by a huge wall. It brought back memories of the first time I’d ever used the ‘levitate’ spell. Back then, I’d been absolutely hopeless. I’d chosen the wrong method to descend, and had landed with a thud. But now, I was much more experienced, and with my additional powers, I was able to simply glide over the wall. Once on the other side, I could see the main house in the distance. A little closer to me, behind the house, were two outbuildings. I crept up to the first one, and looked inside. It was a stables with several horses inside.

As I walked slowly towards the second building, several dogs began to bark. The door wasn’t locked, so I slipped inside. It was obviously a large kennel block, which was full of dogs. As I walked down the central aisle, dogs of every shape and size watched me.

Halfway down the aisle, I spotted a dog that looked familiar. It was the one I’d seen in the advert in the Bugle. It was Hector. I walked up to the gate.

“Hector?”

He responded immediately to his name, and came running towards the gate, trying desperately to lick my face through the bars.

“I’m Hector! Have you come to take me home? Please take me home. I don’t like it here.”

“I will, but I need you to be quiet.”

“Okay.”

“I’m looking for a poodle called Toto.”

“He’s down there.”

“Okay. Wait there. I’ll be back.”

Toto was still wearing his diamond-encrusted collar.

“Toto?”

“Who are you?”

“I’ve come to take you home.”

“You have?” His tail began to wag, and he jumped up so his front paws were on the bars. “Thank you! I miss my home.”

Just then, I noticed a wire-haired terrier in the kennel next to Toto. It was standing at the back, and looked rather nervous.

“Hey!” I called to it. “Come here. It’s all right. I won’t hurt you.”

The dog walked slowly towards the gate.

“What’s your name, boy?”

“Desi,” he said, in little more than a whisper.

“How long have you been here, Desi?”

“A long time.”

“What happened to your owner?”

He stared down at the floor.

“Desi, was your owner Mr Lewis?”

“Did you know him?” He looked up.

“Not exactly, but I was at his house the other day. I spoke to Mrs Lewis.”

“Really?”

“Yes. She still misses you. Do you know what happened to Mr Lewis?”

“He came to rescue me, but then that horrible man, Longstaff, hit him with a spade. He killed him. Over there.” He gestured towards the door. “Then they took him away.”

“It’s going to be okay, Desi. I have to leave you here for a little while longer, but don’t worry, you’ll be home soon.”

It would only be a matter of time before someone came to see why all the dogs were barking, so I had to act quickly. There was no way I could simply walk out with two dogs, but if I shrank them, I could put them in my pocket, and then go back the way I came.

With my additional powers, I could now shrink not only myself, but other objects and people. I shrank Hector first, so he could fit easily in the palm of my hand. His bark had become nothing more than a squeak. I slipped him gently into one of my pockets, and then did the same with Toto, putting him into my other pocket. Having those two dogs in my pockets brought back happy childhood memories of another of my collections.

Before I left, I reassured Desi that someone would be back soon to take him home.

***

Maisy Topp seemed surprised to see me.

“What are you doing here, Jill? I told you I don’t need your help any longer.”

“I thought maybe you’d like Toto back.”

“I told you, he’s already back.”

“Really? Look over there.” I pointed to the back seat of the car where the dogs, which had now been restored to their normal size, were looking through the window.

“Toto!” She screamed, and ran over to the car. “Are you all right, boy?”

I opened the door, and the dog leapt into her waiting arms.

Maisy was crying as Toto licked her face. While the two of them got reacquainted, I made a phone call.

“Where is he?” Boris yelled when he arrived.

He’d no sooner got the words out than Hector ran towards his owner. Yet another happy reunion.

We were all in Maisy’s kitchen: me, two happy owners, and two even happier dogs.

“So when you both told me you had your dogs back, you lied,” I said.

“I’m sorry about that, Jill.” Maisy was tickling Toto’s tummy.

“Me too.” Boris nodded.

“I understand why you did it. Unless I’m mistaken, the two of you were being blackmailed.”

They glanced at each other, and then at me.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Boris said.

“There’s no point in denying it. I know what happened. Arthur Longstaff told you that unless you voted to renew the contract for Tip Top Construction, you’d never see your dogs alive again. And you daren’t tell anyone, for fear of what he might do to the dogs.”

“You’re right,” Maisy said. “But when I first contacted you, I didn’t know what had happened to Toto. Longstaff didn’t contact me until the next day.”