Witch Is Why The Laughter Stopped (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 14) (9 page)

“Likewise,” Boris said. “When you came to see me, I had no idea that Longstaff had Hector.”

“This isn’t the first time he’s done this. You two weren’t on the council four years ago, were you?”

They shook their heads.

“A similar thing happened back then. He managed to sway the vote by blackmailing a number of dog owners.”

“That’s despicable!” Boris said. “The man should be sent to prison.”

“Don’t worry, he will be. But for something a lot more serious than kidnapping dogs.”

Chapter 14

I called at the front desk of Washbridge police station, and waited in line behind a man who was complaining about his neighbour’s music. Not that it was too loud, but that he was playing jazz. The desk sergeant dismissed his complaint—unfairly in my opinion.

When it was my turn, the desk sergeant made a call, and said that Detective Riley would be with me shortly. It turned out that his idea of ‘shortly’ and mine, were some distance apart. An hour later, when Leo Riley finally showed his face, he didn’t apologise for keeping me waiting, and he certainly didn’t look very pleased to see me. I was pretty sure the man
could
smile, but he had yet to prove it.

“Come with me,” he snapped.

I followed him into a small interview room just off the reception area. He didn’t sit down, and he didn’t offer me a chair. We just stood there facing one another.

“What do you want?” he said.

“How do you always manage to be so charming?”

“I don’t have time to be charming, I’m busy. What do you want?”

“I’ve tracked down three lost dogs.”

“Lost dogs? I’m glad to see that you found your
leash
.” He laughed at his own joke. No one else was going to.

“I have important information. Do you want it or not?”

“About lost dogs? They’re not really very high on my priority list.”

“No. It’s a much more serious matter.”

“Go on then. Hurry up, I don’t have all day.”

“Arthur Longstaff is the CEO of Tip Top Construction. He’s been blackmailing council members so they’ll award his company construction contracts. He did the same thing four years ago.”

“And of course, you have proof of this?”

“The council members in question will testify to that effect. I can give you their names and addresses, if you like?”

“Okay, but you didn’t need to see me for that. You could have told the desk sergeant.”

“There’s something else. And, this should interest you.”

“What now?”

“You have an unsolved murder case on your books from four years ago. A Joseph Lewis.”

“What about it?” Riley suddenly seemed a lot more interested.

“Arthur Longstaff murdered Lewis.”

“What proof do you have?”

“Longstaff recently arranged for dogs belonging to two councillors to be kidnapped. He threatened to kill them unless the councillors voted to award a contract to his company. He did the same thing four years ago. Back then, most of the councillors took the easy way out, and voted for Tip Top Construction, after which their dogs were returned to them. Joseph Lewis wasn’t easily intimidated. He confronted Arthur Longstaff at his country house, and probably threatened to go to the police.”

“You know this how?”

“Because his dog told me.”

“What?”

“Just joking. When Lewis’s body was found, he was covered in dog hairs from several different breeds. Some of the hair was from his own dog. The one that had been kidnapped.”

“It’s hardly surprising that he had his own dog’s hairs on his jumper.”

“Except that the jumper he was wearing had been a birthday present from his wife. She’d knitted it herself, and had only given it to him on the morning of his murder—
after
the dog was kidnapped. That means Lewis must have found his dog at Longstaff’s house.”

“Why didn’t we know about the jumper?”

“That’s a very good question. My guess is no one thought to ask Patricia Lewis, and she was too upset at the time to think about birthday presents or jumpers.”

“That’s all very interesting, but it only proves that Lewis found his dog. Where’s the connection to Longstaff?”

“If you get someone up to Longstaff’s place quickly, and search his kennels, you’ll find Lewis’ dog is still there. But you’d better be quick. Once Longstaff realises the other dogs are gone, he’ll know the game is up, and make a run for it.”

“What other dogs?”

“The ones belonging to the council members who were being blackmailed. I’ve reunited them with their owners.”

“None of this is going to get me a murder conviction.”

“Maybe not, but you have the DNA of the murderer on file. You now have probable cause. If you test Longstaff’s DNA, my guess is, you’ll find a match.”

Riley hesitated for a moment. “I’ll have someone go over there now to check it out.”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

He showed me the door without another word.

***

Jack had bought the snow globe from a man outside West Chipping railway station, so I decided to drive over there to see if he was still plying his trade. I parked close to the police station. It was the first time I’d actually seen Jack’s new place of work. I considered popping in to say hello, but decided Jack might not appreciate me turning up out of the blue.

I made my way on foot to the railway station, which was only a five-minute walk away. As I turned the corner, I could see that the man had set up his makeshift stall at the side of the building. After a quick phone call to Daze, I cast a spell which would block my sup-identity from the wizard. If he realised that I was a witch, he would know I was onto him, and be gone before Daze arrived.

I was rather proud of the ‘block’ spell, which I’d only recently concocted. If it worked as designed, it should ensure he would see me as a human.

“They’re very pretty,” I said.

“Best snow globes in West Chipping.” He treated me to a gap-toothed grin. “Look at the detail.” He held one up. “You can even see the furniture inside the rooms. Every detail is perfect.”

“How much are you asking for these?”

“Forty pounds.”

“That’s expensive.”

“You won’t find better anywhere else.”

“I’ve seen real houses that look very similar to these.”

He shrugged. “Do you want to buy one or not?”

“In fact, I’ve seen houses which were identical to these. Now, where was it I saw them? Oh yes, I remember. In Candlefield.”

He looked shocked. “How do you know about Candlefield?”

“I’m a witch.”

“You’re not a witch. I’d be able to tell.”

“Right, buddy.” The voice came from behind him. He turned around to find Daze standing there, with Blaze by her side. “Time you took a trip back to Candlefield.”

“No, please! It’s all a mistake. I didn’t shrink them. That was someone else. I’m just selling them for him.”

“Tell it to the authorities.”

Daze quickly threw the wire mesh net over him, and he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“What shall we do about these houses?” I asked Daze.

“Blaze and I will take the snow globes back with us. I’m sure we’ll be able to find another wizard who can reverse the spells, and put the houses back in their rightful place.”

“I’ve got one of these globes back at the house. Jack bought it for me.”

“That’s a bit unfortunate.”

“I can’t keep it. I don’t want to deprive someone of their home. I’ll magic it back over to you in Candlefield.”

“What will you tell Jack?”

“I’ll think of something.”

***

“What are you doing, Jill?” Jules looked up at me. I was standing on a chair.

“I’m trying to get this stupid cuckoo out of the clock.”

“Why?”

“I told Mrs V that the cuckoo from the clock in my office has gone away for repair. In fact, it broke into smithereens, and was thrown out with the trash. I’ve got to find an identical cuckoo, like the one in this clock, so I can put it back in mine before she realises.”

“Where will you get it from?”

“I’ve no idea. Normally, I’d ask Armi because he’s a member of the Cuckoo Clock Appreciation Society, but he’d probably tell Mrs V.”

I eventually managed to get the bird out of the ‘good’ clock, and then consulted the Yellow Pages. I wasn’t sure what to look for: clocks, clock repairs? But then I noticed a section for cuckoo clocks; there was a single entry under it. The shop was called Cuckoos Unlimited, and according to the advert, it kept the most extensive stock of cuckoo clock parts in the UK. Luckily for me it was right here in Washbridge, located in a back street on the other side of town.

“I’m going to take a walk over there, Jules.”

“Okay. Good luck.”

I was going to need it.

En route, I called in at Coffee Triangle. It was drum day, so I ordered my coffee ‘to go.’ When I arrived at Cuckoos Unlimited, I wasn’t sure if it was open. The blinds were down, so I couldn’t even see through the window. But when I tried the door, it opened and a bell rang. From somewhere behind the counter, an old man with long, thinning, grey hair appeared. He had a runny nose.

“Yes, young lady, what can I do for you?”

“I’m trying to find a cuckoo like this one.” I took the bird out of my bag.

“Ah yes. This is the Tweetling3617.”

“Do you have one?”

“I think so, yes.” He started to rummage around. The small shop was packed with all manner of parts. There seemed to be no organisation; it was just one big mess. And yet, he seemed to know what he was doing.

“It should be over in that far corner. Wait here while I take a look.”

A few minutes later, he came back holding an identical bird.

“There you are, the Tweetling3617. Not many of these about now. It was replaced a few years ago by the Tweetling3618.”

“That’s great. How much is it?”

“Let me check.” He took out a dusty catalogue. “The Tweetling3615, the 3616—here it is—the 3617. That’s thirty-one pounds and seventy-five pence, please.”

On my way back to the office, I noticed the shop which the twins had hoped to rent, was now being renovated. There were workmen inside, and a new sign had been erected. It had white letters on a blue background, and simply read
‘She Sells.’
How very curious. She sells what?

Kathy was behind the counter in Ever. She wasn’t serving anyone, so I popped inside.

“I see they’ve let the shop across the road?”

“Yeah, a couple of days ago. Things seem to be moving pretty fast—they put the sign up yesterday.”

“So I see. ‘She Sells’? What’s that all about?”

“Beats me.”

“I hope it’s not wool.”

“Yeah, me too. Or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

When I got back to my building, I could barely get in the door. There was a queue of young women stretching all the way upstairs.

“Excuse me, please,” I said.

“Hey, get in line!” A young woman with a nose piercing, shouted at me. “There’s a queue here. Can’t you see it?”

“Yes, but I’m—”

“If you’re here for the interview, get in line like the rest of us.”

“What interview?”

“For I-Sweat of course. They’re recruiting instructors.”

“I’m not here to interview for I-Sweat. I have the office at the top of the stairs.”

“Oh. Sorry, love. I thought you were a bit out of shape to be an instructor.”

Cheeky madam!

Chapter 15

It had taken me most of the afternoon, but I’d finally managed to get both of the stupid cuckoo birds back into the stupid clocks.

“Why did you do that?” Winky said.

“I’ve mended the clock.”

“I know
what
you’ve done. I asked
why
you’ve done it. It’s been nice and peaceful in here without that stupid bird cuckooing every hour.”

“The clocks were a gift from Armi. It’s only right that we should keep them in good repair.”

“And what about during the night, when I’m trying to sleep?
You’re
not the one who has to put up with it. I bet you don’t have a cuckoo clock in your bedroom.”

“Well, no.”

“Exactly. But you expect me to sleep in here with that awful row. Don’t blame me if you find it smashed to pieces in the morning.”

“And who exactly would I blame?”

I was feeling drained after my cuckoo exploits, so I treated myself to an early finish. When I arrived home, I couldn’t get my car onto the drive because there was something blocking the pavement. It looked like some kind of temporary bus stop. Then I heard a small engine. I turned around to find Mr Hosey coming down the street on his silly little train. He tooted the horn a couple of times by way of a greeting before pulling up next to me. There was no one in either of the carriages.

“Hello there, Jill.”

“Mr Hosey. Is this yours?” I pointed to the object which was blocking my driveway.

“That’s one of the train-stops.”

“Train-stops?”

“I have four of them on the circuit in case anyone wants to get on board.”

“You don’t seem to have
any
passengers at all at the moment.”

“It will probably pick up later.”

“You’ve put the train-stop smack bang in the middle of the entrance to my driveway, I can’t get the car on the drive.”

“I’ll move it as soon as I’ve finished with the train for the day.”

“How long is that likely to be?”

“Another hour or so.”

“What am I supposed to do with my car in the meantime?”

“Can’t you leave it on the road? An hour will fly by.”

“Couldn’t you just move the train-stop a few metres down the pavement, so it isn’t blocking my drive?”

“If I did that, Jill, the four stops wouldn’t be equidistant from each other.”

“Does that really matter?”

“Of course. If someone pays to go on the train, they’ll expect to get the correct yardage.”

“You charge people to go on
this
thing?”

“Not exactly. I’m not allowed to levy a charge as such, but I do ask for voluntary donations.”

“Oh?”

“Of five pounds.”

“So the voluntary donation has a fixed amount?”

“Not as such. Five pounds is the
minimum
suggested donation. People are free to donate more, obviously.”

“I see. Well, I’m sorry, Mr Hosey, but I need to get my car onto the drive, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to move the train-stop.”

“I’m not sure how I’ll explain this to my customers when they realise they’ve been given short measure.”

“I’m pretty sure no one will notice.”

Still grumbling to himself, he moved the train-stop beyond the end of the driveway.

“Thank you.”

Jack arrived home just after six.

“I think I may have upset one of our neighbours.”

“Which one this time? Megan?”

“No.”

“Not Mrs Rollo?”

“Mr Hosey. He’d put his train-stop in front of our drive.”

“His what?”

“Train-stop. He has four of them along the route. It was blocking the drive.”

“Is he crazy? Why didn’t he put it a few metres further down?”

“He likes them to be equidistant from each other. Otherwise people might complain that they’d been given short measure. Hold on! Why am I even trying to explain this? The man is making me as crazy as he is.”

Jack was staring at the mantelpiece. “Where’s the globe?”

Oh, bum!

“I—err—I told you. I thought Kathy might like one.”

“Weren’t you going to buy one for her today?”

“I decided to show her mine first. Just to make sure she likes it.”

“Why did you have to leave it with her? Couldn’t she make up her mind there and then?”

“She wasn’t in when I took it around. I left it with Peter, and asked him to show it to her.”

“Oh, okay.”

What was I supposed to do now? I’d sent the globe back to Candlefield so the house could be restored to its rightful owner, but I could hardly tell Jack that. Where was I going to find a replacement?

***

First thing the next morning, I magicked myself over to Candlefield. Aunt Lucy had arranged for me to meet with Desmond Cloverleaf, the husband of Gloria who had died in the supermarket after becoming hysterical with laughter. Desmond cut a sorrowful figure; he was obviously still grief-stricken.

“You must be Jill,” he said.

“Yes. Aunt Lucy said it would be okay to come and talk to you.”

“Do come in. Can I get you a drink or anything?”

“No, please don’t trouble yourself, Mr Cloverleaf. Let’s just sit down and talk.”

“Okay.”

In the living room, there were photos of Mr Cloverleaf and his wife everywhere. He glanced at each one of them before taking a seat.

“I realise this is difficult for you, Mr Cloverleaf, but I’d like to try to establish exactly what happened to your wife.”

“I understand, but it’s still very raw as you can imagine.”

“Of course. Has the hospital told you the cause of your wife’s death?”

“They said her heart gave way. It was the strain of the laughter. I assume you heard about that.”

“Yes, Aunt Lucy told me. In fact, I actually witnessed someone else die in the same way.”

“Really?” He seemed surprised.

“Yes. There’s been more than one incident.”

“I wasn’t aware of that. Maybe someone did tell me, but I haven’t really been with it. The doctor said Gloria had laughed so hard, and for so long, that her heart couldn’t stand the strain.”

“Were you with her at the time?”

“No, she was doing the weekly shop. She liked to do it alone; she said I slowed her down.”

“Is there anything you can think of that could have sparked off the laughter?”

“Nothing. She was in the confectionery aisle at the time. There’s nothing particularly funny there. And besides, Gloria was never really one for laughing out loud. She would normally just smile or give the occasional chuckle. For instance, the night before she died we’d been to Candlefield Social to see Kenny Pope. Have you heard of him?”

“I don’t think so.”

“He’s a comedian. He was very funny. Everyone was in hysterics except for Gloria; she barely cracked a smile. So why would she be laughing in the confectionery aisle of the supermarket? It doesn’t make any sense. Do you think you’ll be able to get to the bottom of it?”

“I’m certainly going to try, Mr Cloverleaf.”

Desmond Cloverleaf and I talked for some time. Afterwards, I made my way over to Cuppy C. I was ready to kill for a blueberry muffin and a cup of tea. When I got there, Laura was working in the cake shop, and to my surprise Flora was behind the counter in the tea room.

“Hello, Jill.” Flora greeted me with what appeared to be a genuine smile.

“I thought you worked in the flower shop in the marketplace?”

“I did, but I got talking to the twins, and they told me they could still do with another pair of hands, so I asked them if I could have a job here. They agreed because I’d had experience working in a shop already, so I gave in my notice and here I am. It makes a pleasant change from selling flowers.”

“I’m sure it does.”

“What can I get you, Jill?”

“A blueberry muffin and a cup of tea, please.”

“I believe you get the staff discount?”

“That’s right. Seventy percent.”

What? No harm in trying.

Flora seemed very comfortable behind the counter, and had served me in next to no time. She was wise to my ploy though, and only gave me twenty percent discount. Drat!

Something about Flora and Laura had been bothering me ever since I’d seen them with Miles and Mindy. I was even more concerned now they were both working in Cuppy C. And where were the twins? Out shopping probably. I hoped they knew what they were doing setting on these two ice maidens.

***

My phone rang. It was Patricia Lewis.

“Jill? I wanted to thank you for getting Desi back. I never thought I’d see him again.”

“My pleasure. I guess he was pleased to see you.”

“He’s never left my side since he came home.” Her voice faltered. “It’s the next best thing to having Joseph back.”

“Have the police said anything about the murder case?”

“Not much. A new detective came to see me. I didn’t like him very much.”

“Was his name Riley?”

“That’s him. When I asked him what was happening, he said they were working on a new lead, but wouldn’t say any more. Anyway, thanks again.”

It was time to get to work on the Jessica Lambert case. She’d come to see me because her boyfriend, Paul, was no longer acting like her boyfriend. She insisted he’d become a different person, and had started going out by himself when they would normally stay in together.

I waited outside his flat until he came out, and then followed him on foot into the centre of Washbridge. He went to a bar that I hadn’t come across before. It was called Bar Scarlet. After he’d gone inside, I gave it a few minutes, and then followed him.

I was surprised to find that the majority of people in the bar were vampires. I was used to coming across sups in Washbridge, but it was usually just one or two of them at a time. I’d never seen so many sups in one place. The humans were outnumbered twenty to one. The music was loud, but not unpleasant, and the atmosphere seemed very relaxed. The bar was doing a roaring trade. Paul made his way towards the far side of the room, but by the time I’d eventually fought my way through the crowd, there was no sign of him.

“Excuse me?” I approached a young, male vampire who was standing by himself. “I’m looking for a friend of mine—a human. Have you seen him?”

“No, sorry. I haven’t seen any humans tonight.”

I asked several other vampires, but none of them had seen Paul—or at least so they said. After a couple more circuits of the bar, there was still no sign of him. He must have somehow doubled back, and left without me noticing.

Well done, Jill! All you had to do was keep tabs on him. My adoptive father would not have been impressed.