Girl, (Nearly) 16: Absolute Torture! (20 page)

‘That’s OK, then, isn’t it, Einstein?’ said Fred. ‘When you get to Bunker’s Hill on your left, go down there.’

‘OK . . . I’m going down it now,’ said Jess, venturing down a steep narrow lane with ancient houses on both sides bedecked with hanging baskets. ‘It’s almost illegally picturesque.’

‘When you come out at the bottom of Bunker’s Hill,’ said Fred, ‘you should be by the Old Post Office.’

She was glad her dad had given her twenty quid. She’d be able to buy Fred’s mum a really lovely brooch. Only a few moments later she found herself coming out down by the harbour. There was the post office, on her left.

‘Now turn left, then look to the right, and tell me what you see,’ said Fred. ‘On the corner.’

‘It’s a sort of gallery, I think,’ said Jess. ‘I don’t know whether they sell brooches. I think it’s mostly paintings and cards and stuff.’

‘You haven’t got to the right place yet,’ said Fred. ‘Look beyond it. Go round the corner, to the other side.’

‘What do you mean,
beyond it
?’ asked Jess. ‘Beyond it is just the harbour . . .’ Jess went round the corner. And then, she couldn’t believe her eyes. She shrieked.

There was
Fred
! Right here in St Ives. Leaning against a railing, grinning all over his face and still holding his mobile phone to his ear. All the waves in the harbour dancing and glinting behind him.

‘Fred!’ yelled Jess, so loudly that several dogs barked, gulls screamed and startled babies burst into tears. She hurtled across the intervening cobbles and threw herself into his arms. ‘What! How on earth?!’ She grinned up at him. ‘What in the world are you doing here?’

‘Well, I just fancied a little trip to St Ives,’ said Fred. ‘But if it causes you undue dismay, I will, of course, go home immediately.’

‘How amazing! How amazing! How amazing!’ said Jess, over and over. She simply couldn’t believe it. ‘This is the most fabulous surprise I’ve ever had in my life.’

‘I am informed by my astrologer that Neptune is in cahoots with Carbohydrate,’ said Fred, ‘so you may find that there are even more amazing surprises just around the corner.’

Not even Fred, however, could possibly have guessed how many.

Chapter 30

‘Let’s go somewhere less crowded,’ said Fred.

Jess nodded. At present their reunion was being witnessed by about thirty living beings, if you included dogs and seagulls. Fred took her by the hand and led her firmly off towards a quieter part of town.

‘Where are we going?’ she asked. ‘And even more intriguingly, how on earth do you
know
where we’re going?’

‘We used to come here when I was a kid,’ said Fred. ‘I’m taking you to the Island.’

‘I don’t know if I have time for a boat trip,’ said Jess. ‘I told my dad I’d be right back.’

‘It’s not really an island,’ said Fred. ‘Wait and see.’

Jess found that the Island was a promontory, a sort of pointy green hill she had seen from the beach when she had watched the surfers with her dad. At the top of it was a tiny chapel surrounded by some low walls, with a sheltered bench up against it. A couple had already bagged this desirable spot, however, and they were snogging away like a snogging machine that had just been fitted with new batteries.

So Fred and Jess just wandered off and selected a random place on the grassy slope, far away from anybody else. It was random, but it was divine. There was a fantastic, panoramic view of the beach, the surfers and the town.

There was also the most amazing view of Fred’s face, and since Jess hadn’t had the chance of admiring it for ages, she decided the surfers could wait. Instead she gazed in rapture at his curious grey eyes and strange quirky mouth and ears that were a bit like a bushbaby’s.

‘I’d forgotten what you looked like,’ she said.

‘Sorry if it’s an awful shock,’ said Fred. ‘You look rather better than I expected. Have you had a facelift?’

Jess gave him a pummelling, and then somehow they drifted into a kind of trance of staring into each other’s eyes, and then a kiss that went on and on for approximately seven days.

‘It’s the first time we’ve kissed to the sound of the sea,’ said Jess afterwards.

‘Yes, such a cliché, isn’t it?’ said Fred. ‘I’m not sure I like kissing in the open air, though. Not in the daylight. What with all these seagulls and big dogs about. One has the feeling it could end in farce.’

‘Tell me how you got here!’ said Jess.

‘Well, I’d always planned to come down and surprise you,’ said Fred. ‘I sold the Riverdene tickets to Luke, which gave me a nice little Cornwall travel fund, and I made a bit extra from my distinguished career in the catering business – until I was sacked on day two.’

‘Amazing!’ said Jess. ‘I never suspected anything. Although I was insanely jealous. Tell me about those cheerleaders!’ she went on, pinning him to the turf. ‘Which, if any, did you fancy?’

‘I didn’t fancy any of them,’ said Fred. ‘As you know, when it comes to girls I have a savoury tooth.’

Jess demanded another kiss at this point. Fred went along with it, although he pulled his hood up halfway through.

‘Fred, you’re an idiot!’ said Jess. ‘You’re not supposed to put extra clothes on while snogging.’

‘Not right now,’ said Fred, glancing anxiously around. ‘I have this terror of your dad looming up like some kind of Cornish God of War and knocking me unconscious with one mighty blow of his beefy fist!’

‘My dad, beefy fists?’ laughed Jess. ‘He’s about as tough and beefy as a grasshopper. Anyway, he’s back home right now having a rather tragic little sleep.’

‘Are you sure your mum’s safely miles away?’ asked Fred, still looking around furtively. He knew Jess’s mum was a force to be reckoned with, and feared the deadly lash of her feminist tongue.

‘Yeah, I told you, she’s at the Eden Project! Relax, for goodness’ sake, Fred! It’s so fabulous having you here. I thought you’d gone to Riverdene with Flora.’

‘With
Flora
? How weird your imagination is, dear child. I had to tell my parents I was going to Riverdene with Luke because, of course, they’d have disapproved of this mad escapade. And at least it stopped you thinking I might be on my way down here.’

‘Well, Flora really is at Riverdene, apparently – unless it’s just another front and she’s going to appear any minute.’

‘I certainly hope not!’ said Fred. ‘I’ve got nothing against the girl. I just hate to share you with anybody else even for a split second.’

‘And I thought you were at Riverdene together!’ said Jess, shaking her head. ‘I was heartbroken, you moron!’

Fred administered a huge and reassuring cuddle. Then they just sat and looked down at the surfers.

‘I’m going to learn how to surf!’ said Jess. ‘I think it’s a smart career move.’

‘It looks terrifying to me,’ said Fred doubtfully. He always pretended to be useless at sports, even though Jess suspected that he secretly did press-ups and sit-ups at night on his bedroom floor. His tummy was certainly very firm whenever she punched it.

Some little kids, who had been screeching irritatingly nearby for the past five minutes, ran up and asked the time.

‘6.30,’ said Jess. She was surprised to see how late it was. The sun was still high in the summer sky, and the waves kept on coming and crashing against the rocks that skirted the island. The sea just going on and on like that had made her lose all track of time. And of course, when she was with Fred, two hours could flash past like two minutes.

‘It’s late!’ she said. ‘I must get back to my dad’s. Where are you staying?’

‘I’ve got my sleeping bag,’ said Fred. ‘I spent last night in an old shed type thing just around the coast path. I thought I’d just sleep on the beach tonight.’

‘Don’t be silly!’ said Jess. ‘You might be mugged or peed on by sea lions, or something. You must come and stay at Dad’s.’

‘There is a backpackers’ hostel but it’s full,’ said Fred. ‘I can’t afford a B&B because I used up most of my money on the way down. I tried hitching but I didn’t have much luck. My grotesque appearance must have put people off. It took me two days to get here.’

‘Two
days
?’ said Jess, surprised.

‘Yes. I slept in a station waiting-room on the first night, and in a barn on the next night – which was, of course, rat-infested.’

‘Oh my goodness, how horrible!’ shuddered Jess. ‘You must come and stay at Dad’s. But wait . . . I don’t think we should just turn up together, out of the blue.’

Getting Fred installed at Dad’s was a major challenge. He could easily flip, and throw a massive tantrum. However was she going to manage it?

Chapter 31

‘I can’t possibly come and meet your dad,’ said Fred, cringing. ‘Men are very protective about their daughters. He might poke my eyes out with a gigantic paintbrush or something.’

‘What I’ll do,’ said Jess, ‘is go home and wait till he’s woken up. If I storm in there and wake him up, he might be a bit grouchy. I’ll just kind of gently break the news that I’ve got a boyfriend.’

‘Is that what I am?’ said Fred, looking appalled. ‘Dear me! I had only presumed to think of myself as your minder.’

‘You couldn’t mind a chihuahua!’ laughed Jess. ‘Anyway, I’ll see how he reacts to that, then I’ll just tell him the truth – that you’ve come down on a surprise visit.’

‘I’ll go down to the beach, then,’ said Fred, getting up and pulling on his backpack. ‘Down there. I’ll just lie around in the sand hoping to be spotted by a ditzy blonde clothed from head to toe in rubber.’