0215543001348293036 vaughn piper oshea m.j. (18 page)

Between Alice, school, and his job, I could easily imagine him being overwhelmed. But I knew that wasn’t the problem, or maybe it was only part of it. What could I do, though? He didn’t seem to want to talk to me. And even if he had, what would I have said anyway? These sorts of situations were completely outside the realm of my experience. With my luck, I’d probably just make things worse, even more awkward and uncomfortable than they already were.

I turned away from the door with a sigh. On the way into the kitchen, I spotted the list of phone numbers Rue had given me what seemed like ages ago sitting on the counter. Dusty’s name jumped out at me, written in bold purple ink near the top of the page.

Dusty. We’d never spoken on the phone outside of the few times he’d called me to tell me he was running late, but I’d programmed his number into my contacts after my first couple of days with Alice. If anyone knew what was going on with Rue—and how I could possibly make things better—it would be him. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought about it before. It seemed so obvious.

I picked up my cell phone and took it over to my chair. It felt a little odd to sit in it. I hadn’t used it very often since Rue and Alice had come into my life. I sank down into its familiar embrace, and the smooth texture of the leather comforted me like always. I searched out Dusty’s name and pressed “send,” the fingers of my free hand automatically starting their methodical skimming of the armrest while I waited for Dusty to answer.

[117]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

When he did, his voice sounded surprised. “Erik? Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” I said. “With Alice, I mean.”

“Oh, that’s good.” I heard the dull murmur of voices in the background and wondered if Dusty was at work. I was just about to offer to call him later when he spoke again, “So, what’s up?”

“It’s about R-Rue.”

Dusty was silent for a long moment. “What about him, hon?”

“I… I just need your help. I don’t know what to do. I’m going c-crazy over here.”

“Hang on a sec.” Suddenly, the background noise was gone. I heard Dusty sigh softly. “Okay, hon. Tell me what the problem is….”

[118]

one small thing

Chapter 9

Rue

I CAN’T believe I kissed him….

The thought had been running through my head for weeks. Three torturous weeks where Erik acted blithely ignorant of the fact that I’d wrapped my arms around his neck and laid one on him. Ignorant of the fact that I’d been trying to decide for those interminably long weeks if he was pretending the kiss didn’t happen or if he was just too shy to return it.
Arghhhh!
It was so effing frustrating. I wanted to pull his head to mine, his lips, his teeth and tongue, and kiss him until we had to gasp for breath.

I didn’t see any of that on Erik’s face. As far as I could tell. He just smiled and joked and tickled Alice like nothing had changed and we were cool and just friends when all of a sudden I so, so,
so
wanted more.

I was in my room getting ready for the Spring is Sprung Bikini Ball at the Tom Tom. It was just another excuse for the guys to dance around mostly naked and covered in glitter. Some of them even wore little bunny ears that bounced up and down charmingly when they were blowing each other out on the veranda. To say I didn’t want to go would be a vast understatement. I was so done with that place. I only had a few more months, right? I had every finger I owned crossed that I’d get a decent salon job when I got out of class. I wasn’t holding out much hope for California anymore, wasn’t even sure if that’s what I

[119]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

wanted… or what the hell I did want, if Cali wasn’t it. Other than Erik.

I knew I wanted him. I only wished I knew if he wanted me back.

Done with my makeup, I dropped my PJs and shimmied into purple fishnets and the glittery pink bikini bottoms Devon and I were wearing that night, laced up my knee-high boots, and placed my own set of bunny ears gingerly on top of my head, careful not to ruin my hair. I felt kinda sexy, actually, even if I didn’t really want to leave the house. I sucked in a breath at the picture of me halfway out of my bunny costume, straddling Erik on the couch and him sucking my…

holy wow
. I chugged half of my bottle of water before I felt remotely cooled down.

I grabbed a pair of sweats and a hoodie (there was no way I was walking to work in that getup) and went out to the living room to model my costume for Erik, who was watching Alice so Dusty could work an extra shift at The Bean. I didn’t know what I wanted his reaction to be—some kind of spark, attraction, lust, him dragging me onto the floor and ripping the dumb costume off me.

Anger was the last thing I expected.

Erik was rolling around on Alice’s blanket with her, tickling her and laughing at her cute little giggles. His shirt had ridden up a few inches, showing those sweet, sexy abs covered with miles of pale golden skin I longed to lick. He looked up when he heard my bedroom door close, clearly ready to smile. I did a little pirouette and curtsied.

“What do you think of my costume? It’s the Spring Ball tonight.” He froze. “You’re wearing that in public?”

“No, silly. Not in public, just at the Tom Tom.”

“You don’t call that public?”
What’s with the face, Erik?

I rolled my eyes. “Everyone else will be dressed like this too.

Plus, I get good tips when I look hot.”

“I’m sure you do.” He rolled his eyes right back and… was that a sneer? Oh, screw him!

“You got a problem with my job?”

[120]

one small thing

“I just don’t think it’s… appropriate for you to be out looking all trashy with a bunch of guys groping you when you have a daughter waiting for you at home.” He actually held my baby’s face to his chest, like he was shielding her eyes from my whorishness. And it hurt. A lot.

Fuck that.
Fuck. That.

“Who the hell are you to tell me how I should make my money? It was the only job I could get, and I’m just doing the best I goddamned can for my baby. And so the fuck what if I have to wear stupid costumes and get drinks spilled on me for tips? I’m not showing my ass to anyone, so don’t look at me like I’m some kind of prostitute!”

“Rue….” Erik put Alice in her playpen and walked toward me. I was livid. If that asshole got any closer, I might clock him on the head.

“No! Stay there. I saw the way you hid Alice, like you didn’t want my own daughter to see me. That was—”

I was cut off by a soft pair of lips descending onto mine, silencing me except for a frustrated groan.

“
Rue
….”

His hands, those big, warm, gorgeous hands, were running up and down my spine—testing, touching, spreading his warmth all across my suddenly tingling skin—before they settled on that tickly wonderful spot right above the waist of my tights. I shivered and sighed, anger forgotten, everything forgotten other than the way he was teasing my lip rings with his tongue, pulling me closer, and surrounding me with his arms.

My whole body burst into shivers when he bit softly at my lower lip, nothing hard, no invasions, just a little bite to show me he was there, and he
wanted
as much as I did. I let my hands trail up his chest and curl around his neck. I tried to hold it in, oh hell, I tried, but a moan slipped out, vibrating between our mouths, adding to the sensations threatening to take me down.

I’d felt nothing like it before. Nothing.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything but the warm hands on the small of my back and the tasting, testing, caressing

[121]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

lips that felt like heaven. I never wanted it to end. Never wanted to stop breathing him in. The beauty of the moment trembled in my stomach, quivered and grew until my whole body was shaking with its power.

“Erik?” I whispered when we finally broke apart. I wanted more.

Erik brought a thumb up and touched my lower lip, wet and swollen from his kisses, and looked at me in awe. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

He said nothing else but stared softly at my mouth, my eyes, me.

Just the way he looked at me all intense made my body shiver. I reached up for his face.

Erik just smiled soft and slow. “I’ll let you get to work,” he finally murmured. Then he bent to lift Alice out of her playpen and turned quietly to leave me standing there, feeling like my body had been the epicenter of an earthquake.

“Erik, wait….”

But he’d gone, and I couldn’t say anything more. For the retired club boy, recipient of hundreds of kisses, dozens of anonymous blow jobs, and more back-room hookups than I’d like to admit, that one kiss had shaken all I knew to be true in the world. That one kiss, one little, innocent kiss, was like nothing that had come before, and nothing that would come after. It was everything I needed.

I looked at the wall that connected my apartment to his, my core twisting with pent-up longing, stronger than even I’d known. My world was on the other side of that wall, my baby and the guy that I was falling in—

What was left of my stomach dropped to my knees. I sank cross-legged onto the hard wood floor of my apartment and stared at the wall.

What had happened to me? I sat there for a long time, concentrating on the off-white surface of my walls and trying not to lose what little cool I had left, before I noticed the clock I had by my door was ticking closer and closer to the time when I had to be at work.

Crap. Work!
I had to go and make money to support my baby and me, even if I wanted to go be with her and Erik and never have to deal

[122]

one small thing

with the noise and the lights of the Tom Tom Club again (except for maybe a hot night someday dancing there with Erik and coming home and…
oh, that would be nice
). I peeled myself off the floor, shaking my head, and dragged the warm-ups I’d dropped to the floor over my costume.

I was gone. Totally gone.

Dusty is right. I’m so screwed.

Erik

I WALKED back to my apartment in a daze. I could barely feel the floor under my feet, like there was some huge disconnect between my body and my brain. My limbs were running on automatic, and the only explanation was that my heart had shot off into the stratosphere and left the rest of me behind.

I’d kissed him.
Rue
. Somehow in that moment I’d known it was the right thing to do.

I hadn’t meant to make him angry at first. Those words had burst out of me before I could really think them over. But I swear when I saw him come out of that room, I couldn’t think of anything but how I wanted to lock him away and hide him some place where no one but I could see. No one else should see him like that, ever. Not
my
Rue. And he was mine, as much as I was his. I knew that now, just from the way he looked at me after I kissed him. Everything I felt for him, every ounce of yearning and desire and
need
, had shone out of his eyes as he stared up at me. And I knew right then, I knew… he belonged to me.

With me.

Dusty had been right. As I entered the apartment with Alice, I remembered what he’d said at the end of our conversation the other day:

[123]

Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea

“He has feelings for you, Erik. I know he does. But he’s still Rue.

You’re gonna have to make the first move, or you guys might be stuck
in this limbo forever.”

“But what should I do?”

“You have to figure that out yourself, hon. All I can say is, when
you see the opportunity, take it. Don’t let him push you away.”
That opportunity had come. Finally. It felt like I’d been waiting forever. I’d wanted to hold him to me and keep kissing him all night.

And he’d wanted it too. I could tell by the way he touched my face, the way he said my name. He was so beautiful at that moment, with his lips tender and swollen from our kiss, his green eyes wide and dark. I couldn’t believe I’d ever looked at him and seen anything else. Just the remembrance of it made my heart throb.

So this is how it feels to want someone.
I never thought in a million years that I’d ever experience such a thing. Before Rue, I hadn’t cared one way or another. If the last twenty-seven years had taught me anything, it was that this wasn’t possible for me with just anyone.

Those initial stirrings of attraction that other kids my age had experienced back in junior high had totally bypassed me. I’d always been able to recognize beauty, but I’d never been moved by it.