03 - Sworn (75 page)

“Of course I’m thinking about it,” she said, and wrapped her fingers around the vial, holding in its warm light. “I suppose we don’t know what will happen either way, really.”

“I do,” Nox said. “I’ve been familiarizing myself with the library, doing some reading while I’ve waited for batches to settle. If you don’t get treatment soon, your magic will die completely, as everyone else seems to think it already has. There will be no chance of bringing it back. You’ll be the normal, average person you used to think you were. There would be nothing to keep you two apart, even with Aren being next in line for the throne, and especially with you having proven your loyalty to Tyrea.” Her brow furrowed. “You’ll age normally. There’s no reason you two shouldn’t be able to have children together, and given your past, there’s obviously power in your family line that they’ll carry on. You’ll die a lot sooner, but you can still have a good life. Kind of like the one you used to expect.”

My heart stilled.

Rowan swallowed hard. “Or you can save my magic, and I lose Aren.” She squeezed her eyes closed, as though fighting off physical pain. “Gods, I can’t face either consequence. What am I supposed to do?”

I took her hand, and she looked up at me. “You need to do whatever is going to make you happy,” I said. “But if I might state a case...”

“Go ahead,” she said, and wiped her sleeve across her eyes. “Please.”

“I want you.”

She looked up at me, eyebrows pulled together. “So you think I should give up my magic?” No judgement, no disbelief. Just curiosity.

I smiled and brushed her wild hair back from her face. “No. You’re a Sorceress. Your magic is part of who you are. I first loved you before it was free, and I’ll continue to do so if you decide to give it up, for as long as you live. I will do everything in my power to make you happy.” I paused, half wanting to leave it at that. Having her as my queen would make everything so much better. I could bear captivity if I had her with me.

But when I looked into her eyes and saw the loss and the sorrow she carried with her, I knew I couldn’t accept that sacrifice. Asking her to refuse her magic would be to imprison her even as it granted me a measure of freedom.

I cleared my throat. “But if I have a choice in the matter, I don’t just want you for just a few years. I want you in my life two hundred years from now, assuming we manage to stay out of trouble and live that long. I want the Rowan I fell in love with, not the shell I fear you’d become without your magic.” A lump formed in my throat. I ignored it. “The world is a better place with you and your magic in it, even if you can’t truly belong to me. And if there’s a way you can, I swear I’ll find it.”

Rowan hugged me. “Thank you,” she whispered in my ear. “I’ll always be yours, no matter where I have to go or what happens to me. I love you. Nothing will change that.”

Nox smiled sadly as Rowan released me. “Time to get it done, if you’re going to.”

Rowan hesitated for a long moment. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at me again, then lifted the vial and drank. A shudder shook her body. Her expression filled with joy and life as magic flowed back into her, strong enough that I felt its power washing over me before she pulled it back.

Rowan laughed, and I realized I hadn’t heard that sound for far too long. She’d made the right choice, no matter what it cost us. I ignored the heaviness in my heart, and reminded myself that I hadn’t lost her yet.

Nox took the vial back. “Congratulations, Sorceress,” she said. “Did you make the right decision?”

“I believe I did,” she said, though not without a hint of sadness. “Thank you, Nox. For everything.” She threw her arms around Nox, who returned the gesture without hesitation.

Footsteps crunched through the woods, and we turned as Ulric entered the clearing.

“You said you were working tonight,” I said.

He nodded. “I was, but I heard there was something happening here. Am I late?”

“Depends on what you came for,” Nox said. She slipped the vial into her pocket.

Ulric looked at the garden. The roses still glowed, though darkness had covered the forest. Lightning bugs flitted between the trees and among the flowers, and the sound of the stream trickling downhill brought a tranquil mood to the place. “I wanted to pay my respects,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Nox’s smile widened. “Not at all.” She took her father’s arm and led him to the roses.

Rowan threw her arms around my neck and kissed me hard. “Quick, let’s run away before he notices my magic,” she whispered. I sensed she was only half joking.

I held her tight. “No more running. We’ll figure this out. I don’t intend to lose you again.”

Ulric spoke to Nox and Victoria, but I couldn’t hear what he said. He crouched to speak to Patience, who nodded solemnly and shook his hand before he stood again.

And then he came back to us.

“So,” he said. “You’ve recovered, Rowan.”

“Mostly,” she said as she turned to him. “Are you going to be cruel to me again?”

The corners of his mouth turned down. “No. I wish I could blame my behavior entirely on my illness, but I’m afraid I can’t. I did and said what I thought was in the best interests of my family and my country.” He held out a hand, and she shook it hesitantly. “I don’t do this often,” he continued, “but I owe you an apology. You showed great bravery during the battle, and you made a great sacrifice to save us and ensure our victory. You’ve showed your loyalty to Tyrea and to my family. I will see that you have public recognition for this. I was wrong about you. Wrong about a lot of things, in fact, and I will do what I can to make it right.”

Even in the low light, the blush in her cheeks was obvious as she pulled her hand back. “Thank you, sir. I can’t say it was my pleasure, but I’m happy to have helped.”

Ulric nodded. “I’m pleased to see that your magic is recovering. You’re powerful, and a great asset to Tyrea. That said, you need training. A lot of it, if you’re going to reach your full potential. With things as they are, I certainly can’t oversee that myself, or spare any of my people to give you the attention you obviously require.”

She lowered her head. “I understand, of course.”

“Before he left,” he continued. “Ernis Albion told me you would be most welcome back at his school. He and I have had our differences over the years, but I can’t say you’ll find a better instructor anywhere. We’ll send you as soon as possible.”

Still dumbstruck over my father admitting he was wrong about something, it took me a moment to process what he was saying. “You can’t send her away,” I said. “You just said—”

Rowan squeezed my hand hard. “Let him finish.”

Ulric’s expression turned serious. “We need to speak about your future too, Aren. I’ve asked Pilfanthe to take the position as my Second.”

A good choice, if he felt I wasn’t ready. The old Sorceress had been a member of his council before. We’d discovered her in the prisons, where Severn had sent her after she figured out what had happened to Ulric. Once she recovered her physical strength, she would be a wise, loyal, and level-headed Second.

A far better one than I’d have been. A flutter of hope awakened in me.

My father cleared his throat before he continued, and seemed to be struggling to keep an neutral expression. “Now, I’ll need you here as we finish hearings, get the city back in order, and try to fix Severn’s mess. But after that, I’m considering the idea of sending you elsewhere as an ambassador. Severn wasn’t wrong about everything. We have been too insulated, and I’ve been less diligent about relations with other countries than I should have been.”

“Darmid?” I asked.

He allowed himself a small smile . “No, I won’t be sending you there yet, though we need to start making progress there one way or another, and soon. I was thinking of Belleisle, actually. Not permanently. But I think you’d be welcome there from time to time if we approached them more diplomatically than you managed before. It’s time to open ourselves to potential allies, and you’re our best door to that.”

Rowan squeaked and squeezed my hand again, so hard the bones in my fingers ground together. My skin prickled with excitement.

Ulric crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at me. “This doesn’t change anything. I’ll want you here frequently. I won’t be around forever, and you have much to learn before you take your place as king.”

My stomach turned at the thought, but I nodded.

“But there’s time for that later. I feel strong, and should the Goddess smile on me I’ll have decades left to rule.” His gaze flicked to Rowan, and he tightened his lips to hold back a smile as he looked back to me. “For now, I’ll just tell you to give my regards to your grandfather when you see him, and offer you no other advice on what to do with yourself during your free hours when you go to Belleisle.”

Rowan released my hand and flew at the king, wrapped her arms around his neck, and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. He chuckled softly, then reached around her to shake my hand. She released him and stepped back, eyes glowing.

He smoothed the wrinkles in his shirt. “This is not permission for anything more. The laws will not change for you any more than they have for anyone before you. If you choose to ignore them, you’ll face the consequences. I can’t say I’m entirely comfortable with this situation, either. Gods willing, I’ll be dead by the time the kingdom has to face the consequences of your affection. But if anyone can find a way to make it work, it will be the two of you.” He smiled ever so slightly. “I should get back to the city.”

He turned and left without another word.

My legs grew weak, and I sank to the ground. “Did he just say he wasn’t going to stand in our way if—”

“Yep.”

“And we have time to—”

“Uh-huh.”

“Even if we can’t actually—”

“Right.”

Nox came over, with Patience and Victoria close behind. “Are you two ready to go?”

Rowan offered a hand and pulled me to my feet. “We are.”

Nox hung back as the rest of us went to gather the horses. I watched as she plucked a fat rose blossom from the tree and set it adrift on the pond. A soft breeze rippled the surface, fracturing the moonlight that shone on the surface. Her black hair fell over her face as she leaned closer to the water, adding her tears to the spring.

I turned away, leaving Nox alone with her loss.

She seemed more at peace when she joined us again, but her sorrow still surrounded her like a black fog, heavy enough that I felt it even when I tried not to. She would survive. We all would. But there were some things that neither potions nor magic could fix.

“I wish Cassia were here,” she said as we rode back toward the city. We’d let the others ride ahead, and the pair of flying horses soared above, chasing each other through the dark sky.

“She’ll be back soon,” I said. The mers had all left almost immediately after the battle, barely staying to speak with Ulric. “Mariana and Arnav agreed to allow more communication and cooperation between their people and ours until the Darmid situation is sorted out, and she’ll be our go-between. We can bring her out to say goodbye when she arrives.”

Nox thought that over. “Do you think she’ll stay for a while?”

“Maybe. Are you planning to?”

She glanced down at her hands and tugged her sleeves further down over them. “I’m still considering Ulric’s offer. All I’ve ever wanted was to have my gifts used and appreciated. I now have everything I dreamed of when I first learned who I was. But I don’t know. All of my dreams seem wrong. I need to find new ones.” The corners of her lips turned down. “I should have died, you know. I wanted to, after I knew for certain that Kel was gone.”

“I know. I’m happy you didn’t.”

She nodded. “Me, too. Much as I want to be with him again, Kel would want me to be to live and be happy. I just need to decide what that means. It will take time, but I’ll try. For him.”

“Whoa. You plan to be happy?” I leaned over to feel her forehead, and she slapped my hand away.

“I know, it’s not like me. But I got a taste of it. Besides, I think I’m out of people to exact vengeance on.” She sighed. “It was a short list.”

“So the old man is forgiven?”

“I suppose.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I probably won’t poison him or anything.”

“I’m glad we found you, Nox.”

She sat up straighter and took a deep breath, filling herself with the fresh evening breeze. “I am, too. And as much as this hurts, I’m thankful that I had the time with Kel that I did. I wouldn’t trade any of it.” She swallowed hard and forced a smile. “The future’s a big place, right? Anything could happen. Maybe even happiness.”

I looked over the group riding ahead of us and felt truly at peace for the first time. “You just never know.”

51

ROWAN

U
lric gave me a few weeks to finish my business in Tyrea—visiting with Cassia when she arrived, sending Ruby off to find a new place for herself where she’d cause less panic among local humans, making my own travel arrangements.

Victoria’s, too. She and Patience were on their way back to the border, escorted and well-protected by some of Ulric’s people, to make an offer of employment to Ches. Ulric was certainly not done with Darmid, and he required the services of someone who knew his history, his magic hunters, and his king. The rest of the family would be invited to join them, and well cared-for as they settled into their new life, should they choose to come.

Florizel and Murad left with them, headed for the mountains and their herd—or, if the leadmare would not take Florizel back, they planned to start their own. My feathery friend seemed horrified at the thought of being in charge of a family, but I suspected she’d do just fine.

I didn’t see much of Nox. Without Ulric’s potion or mine to keep her busy, she’d set herself up in the library, gorging herself on the knowledge she’d been denied for so long. She slept too much and smiled too little, but if anyone could rise from the ashes and begin again, I believed it was her.

It wasn’t the resolution I’d hoped for, with eternal peace and happiness and joyous reunions for all. We had lost so much, and so many things remained unknown. But that’s the way of things. Though we may wish for happy endings, life is an adventure that doesn’t end. Each resolution is a new beginning, and not every road ends where we might want it to.