03 The Fate Of The Muse - Marina's Tales (5 page)

“What’s all this stuff?” I asked.

“Soundproofing,” Bill said with a grimace,
“The neighbors complained about the noise.”

I smiled, “A band, huh?” Someone had stuck a
multitude of glow-in-the-dark moons and stars on the high ceiling,
and hung a bunch of surfing posters all around. How appropriate, I
thought, remembering nighttime surfing with a sharp intake of
breath and a stab of longing that surprised me.

“Yeah, surf-punk-ska something,” said Bill,
“They were pretty good too… But I guess they just never found their
muse.”

I looked at him in alarm, but he’d already
moved on to the far end of the room where a half-wall partition
blocked a small, grubby looking bathroom from view. I peeked around
the corner to see an ancient looking clawfoot tub full of empty
beer bottles sitting next to a rust stained pedestal sink. He
flipped the faucet on and it ran brown for a few seconds before
turning clear.

“At least the plumbing still works,” he said
optimistically.

I walked back to the center of the room and
stood looking around. The afternoon sun slanted in through the wall
of windows, highlighting shafts of dust swirling in the freshly
disturbed air. It looked like rays of light shining through murky
water.

“It needs a lot of cleaning up,” I was
thinking out loud, already envisioning where I’d set up my easel to
take advantage of the light.

“Take it ‘as is’ and I’ll give you free rent
for the first month…” Bill said enticingly.

“I don’t know…” I wavered.

“All utilities included…” Clearly, he didn’t
want to contend with the mess.

I smiled, holding out my hand for a shake,
“Deal.”

We picked our way back down the stairs and
over to his office where he handed me a set of keys and an envelope
of cash from the paintings I’d sold. I pulled the poster I’d made
out of my tote bag and asked him if he’d hang it in his window.

“Save Our Local Small Farms,” he read aloud,
“Righteous.”

The poster outlined the plans we’d made to
hold the rally on Ethan’s five acre plot, on a section lying fallow
between crops. Thanks to Abby’s tireless efforts on the phone, we’d
gotten considerable support from the community. It had already
morphed into a pretty big event, with a couple of local bands
slated to perform, and a salmon barbeque courtesy of Dutch and his
fishermen friends. Even Lue Khang was encouraged, inspired to make
a giant vat of his famous fish soup for the event.

Bill was shocked when I told him the news
about the proposed golf course, “What a bummer!” He shook his head
in disbelief as he taped the poster up in the window, “We should
stage a sit-in at Congressman Hill’s office– it’s just down the
street! He’s even in town… I saw him on the news yesterday.”

“A sit in?”

Bill’s eyes grew dreamy with nostalgia, “You
know, I did the whole war protest thing back in the day…” he leaned
in and winked at me, “And I have the arrest record to prove
it!”

I giggled, imagining Bill as an idealistic
young hippie, “No thanks, we’re going the legal route, but maybe I
should
stop by his office and hang one of our posters,” I
said caustically, “He should know who’ll be voting him out of
office next year!”

“Power to the people!” Bill called out after
me as I headed out the door.

I turned back to see him holding up a raised
fist and saluted him in return. I skipped from storefront to
storefront merrily, received warmly by the various shopkeepers I
asked to hang up my poster. A few doors down a side street at the
end of the block, I came across an office with a portrait of the
despised congressman himself in the window. I decided to stop in
and voice my opposition, striding in defiantly. I may not be old
enough to vote yet, but I had an opinion.

I entered enemy territory to see a pretty
young girl crying behind the reception desk, being soothed by a
gray haired woman who looked up at me with pain in her eyes.

“Uhm… excuse me,” I said, uncomfortable at
interrupting their private moment.

“I’m sorry miss, but the office is closing
early today… Did you have an appointment?”

“No…I was hoping to have a word with the
congressman–”

Upon hearing that, the girl began crying in
earnest, and the older woman patted her back, speaking over her
head to me, “I’m sorry to inform you… but Congressman Hill passed
away this morning… we’re all still in shock.”

I froze in my tracks for a moment. Oh my God,
I thought. I’d been so angry with him… Almost as angry as Peter had
made me. My knees started to wobble and I staggered back a
step.

“Goodness gracious!” the woman said, rushing
around the desk to take my arm and steer me to a chair. “Put your
head down and breathe,” she advised. I exhaled in a ragged gasp,
realizing that I’d been holding my breath.

“How?” I managed to choke out.

The crying one wiped her eyes and hiccupped,
“His car went off the road on Highway One… He– he went over the
cliff.”

“He must have fallen asleep at the wheel,”
the older one added.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” I whispered,
holding my stomach. I’m not sure how I knew, but I was certain that
it was because of me.

“Were you very close?” asked the older
woman.

I shook my head, “No… I had no idea… I’m so
sorry… I didn’t mean to…” my voice trailed off. I looked up into
her concerned eyes. She had no idea that I was the cause of all of
their anguish. First Peter, and now the Congressman.

Apparently my anger was lethal.

She spoke gently, “Calm down dear, we only
just learned the news… it’s not your fault.”

A terrible feeling of guilt and panic welled
up within me. I got up and fled, running out the door and back the
way I came. When I finally stopped, I looked up to find myself
standing right in front of the surf shop. I took it as a sign.

I knew what I needed to do. I strode in,
stone-faced, rushing to purposefully pick out a new wetsuit and a
surfboard that was most like my favorite one– the one that had been
left behind that fateful day in the little cove. The same two guys
were at the counter as before, and they watched me move about the
store with slack-jawed stares. I piled my purchases at the cash
register, avoiding eye contact in the hopes of avoiding
conversation.

“Are you like, Kimo’s girlfriend?” the white
haired boy ventured.

I looked up at him with angry eyes, “No,” I
said coldly, pulling an envelope out of my purse, “How much?”

The tall one rang up my purchases and they
both watched, fascinated, as I paid them from my fat wad of cash.
Now
they
were irritating me. I had to get into the water; I
had to find a way to stop my dangerous thoughts.

I hurried home, my mind a tangled swirl of
confusion. Shame, anger and fear combined in an ugly stew of
negative emotions, and I rushed down to the beach, frantic to get
myself back into the water. I needed to taste the salt, feel the
purification of the icy sea, wallow in the uncomplicated innocence
of the creatures that lived in it.

Avoiding a cluster of afternoon surfers on
the far end of the beach, I plunged in and paddled swiftly out past
the breaking waves. A familiar relief flooded over me with a new
intensity, and a little voice in the back of my mind whispered,
“This is where you belong.” I blocked out all other thoughts and
called for Lorelei. She exploded out of the water, startling
me.

“
Marina!
” she smiled joyfully, as
exuberant as ever, “
Where have you been?
”

“
I– I haven’t been surfing lately,
” I
replied.

“
Why?
” she asked, taking hold of my
surfboard.

“
I didn’t think you’d want to see me after
what happened
.”

She looked puzzled, “
Why would you think
that?
”

I watched her swimming happily, wild and
unchanged by our ordeal. Why couldn’t I be like that? I remembered
how it felt to swim in peace under the vast open ocean. I should
have known that she’d be fine. She would stay the same way forever,
wild as an animal, carefree and untroubled for all eternity. The
magnitude of what my mother had given up came rushing at me all at
once.

“
Can you take me surfing?”
I asked
her, my voice cracking with emotion.

She towed me to a remote and uninhabited
stretch of coastline as the sun dipped low in the sky. I studied
the waves and made the best of them, surfing perilously close to
some jagged rocks. My instinctive feel for the water returned,
tingling just under my skin like a limb that had been still for too
long, coming back to life as blood rushed into it.

The sun sank lower on the horizon, deepening
the sky to a dark indigo blue. I sat up on my board, watching the
water trembling with golden reflections, tasting the salt when I
licked my lips. I couldn’t imagine why I’d waited so long to come
back out. My head was cleared of all the fear and doubt I’d been
harboring for the past few weeks, and I felt better than I had in a
long time.

“
I know
,” smiled Lorelei, splashing me
with water.

I turned my focus back to the waves as the
sky grew darker, “
Let’s go to the point!
” I heard Lorelei
say. I looked around to see her glowing under the water. It dawned
on me that I had just heard her thoughts, and I sat there stunned
for a moment, grappling with what it meant.

Ethan wouldn’t like it, I thought with a
start. Ethan! I’d made plans to see him after his last final. He’d
be worried, and so would Abby.

Lorelei’s face broke the surface, “
Do you
have to go already?
” she asked.

I nodded, my mind racing as Lorelei towed me
back. Now that we could hear each other, I had to wonder, was it
just another facet of my ability to communicate with them, or was I
changing?

Transforming.

I thought about Ethan and cringed. I
shouldn’t have come here… I should have gone to him when I was
upset. As we got closer to the shore both Lorelei and I tensed up.
We were partners in survival, and like all wild creatures, we now
shared a heightened awareness of our surroundings, scanning the
waters around us with bestial caution.

“
This is close enough,
” I told her
without speaking.

“
Will you come back soon?
” she
asked.

“
Yes,
” I replied audibly, looking at
the distant beach and feeling my human concerns settle back onto my
shoulders like a heavy cloak. “
Lorelei, what happened to
Nerissa? How is she?
”

She smiled her resplendent smile, opening her
eyes wide as a new thought occurred to her, “
She is so lucky!
Let’s go see her!
”

I shook my head no, amused by her
transparency, “
I’d like that… but not right now
.”

I said goodbye and made for the darkening
beach, looking back to see nothing but water. As I found my footing
I noticed a lone figure wandering along the beach. It was Stella,
the elderly woman who fed the cats.

“Hey Stella,” I called out.

“Dollface!” she smiled wide, waggling a
finger at me, “You’ll be in a load of trouble if your gang sees you
coming out of the water!”

“What?” I snatched my bag and followed after
her. She walked up the sand to a bench at the foot of the stairs
and plunked down.

“Stella, you saw her, didn’t you? A girl in
the water… A mermaid.”

Her eyes flew open wide and she put her
finger to her lips, “Sssh! Mums the word!”

I watched as her eyes glazed over, and she
sat there humming an old-fashioned song to herself. I changed out
of my wetsuit and into my street clothes, sitting down next to her
to slip on my sneakers.

“She came out of the water to see you, didn’t
she?” I asked gently.

“Oh yesiree,” she giggled, “She wasn’t
supposed to… but she couldn’t resist the music. I took her to the
dance and she had two left feet! Oh, but I could sure cut a rug in
those days…”

I remembered how awkward Lorelei was when she
was forced to transform. I could scarcely imagine her trying to
swing dance. Stella’s face clouded over, and she started singing
under her breath again.

“What was she like?” I asked. I patted her
arm, but her moment of lucidity was gone, visibly slipping away,
just like the sun sinking below the horizon.

“Who?” she asked irritably, getting up from
the bench and shuffling away, humming the rest of the long
forgotten tune. I picked up my board and started climbing the
steps, looking up to see Ethan coming down.

“So… You’re back at it,” he observed tersely,
taking my surfboard for me.

“Looks like it,” I said lamely, “I’m sorry… I
forgot about our plans. It’s just that–”

“I heard. I knew you’d think it was your
fault.
It’s not.
”

I looked at him with tortured eyes, “How can
you know that?”

He held out his hand, “C’mon, let’s go.”

We climbed the stairs slowly, neither of us
sure of what to say.

“So… how was she doing?” he finally
asked.

“Stella?”

“No, Lorelei,” he said, “She didn’t look too
good before.”

I was surprised he wanted to know. He usually
seemed to wish she didn’t exist. I remembered the fragile state
he’d last seen her in; she was an entirely different creature
now.

“It’s like it never even happened… She’s
completely back to normal.”

“That’s good,” he said, “What about the other
one?”

“I don’t know,” I frowned, “Lorelei wanted to
take me to see her, but I had to get back.”

He didn’t say anything until we got to the
landing midway up the stairs. He set my surfboard down purposefully
and turned to me, “Marina?”

Here it comes, I thought. He’s going to tell
me to stop going out alone, or ask me to stay away from Lorelei. I
knew how much he hated the thought of us surfing together.