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“Wrong, I have one parent who loves me. That’s it. My father made it clear that I don’t deserve his love.”

“You deserve love.”

She shook her head. “No, because I have no love to give. I have nothing.”

“And don’t I know it,” Reece snapped.

“What do you mean by that?”

“You’re selfish.”

It took Vivian back at first, but what did she honestly expect? This storm between them had been brewing for some time.

“I always told you up front what I wanted from my career,” Vivian said.

“Munich, though? That was a bit of a surprise.”

“I told you that I wanted to work with Dr. Mannheim and you knew that his clinic was in Munich. I wanted to be a diagnostician. That’s what I’ve always wanted. I was always up front with you.”

“Then if you didn’t want a relationship why did you have to kiss me that day after the solo surgery?”

“I thought you just wanted a fling too.”

“Six months together is hardly a fling, Vivian. I wanted more.”

“I know,” she said. “You wanted roots in Nashville and I didn’t. That’s why I didn’t ask you to come with me.”

“You never even gave me the choice to say yes or no.”

“Would you have said yes to Germany?” she asked. “Tell me the truth.”

“No. Probably not.”

She smirked. “See, we wanted different things. And that’s why I left.”

“I wanted you!” Reece shouted.

“But...you knew I didn’t want that. My career, that’s all I wanted.”

“I didn’t care. I loved you. I was irrational. Those roots I wanted were with you.”

“Oh, Reece.”

“Don’t. I don’t need your sympathy now,” he raged. “You crushed me when you left. Destroyed what little trust I had.”

“I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I don’t believe that kind of love exists and I didn’t think you did either.”

“I didn’t, but I
wanted
to believe in it. I didn’t have it when I was a child and you had it all.” He shook his head. “That kind of love does exist and I feel sorry for you. What a lonely life you must lead. How unhappy you’ve been.”

The barb hit close to home because she
had
been lonely. She’d loved her job but she’d been alone over there and there were many times she’d questioned her decision to leave. She’d always reminded herself that there was too much hurt in Nashville, but there was part of her that had always wondered what could’ve been.

No one had ever gotten her like Reece had. They were the same. They belonged together, but that was all ruined now. She’d destroyed any chance. A tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m sorry I crushed your heart.”

She turned on her heel and left. She needed to be by herself. Alone, because wasn’t that what she’d always wanted anyway?

No. But it was too late for her to come to that realization.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

V
IVIAN
WATCHED
THE
clock as she stood outside the lab waiting for the biopsy on Gary’s lung, but she wasn’t watching the clock because she was waiting for the results. She was watching the clock knowing that Reece was in surgery trying to save her father’s life.

She tried to tell herself that she didn’t care, but she did.

It was killing her wondering what was happening and whether her father would live or die. It would crush her mother to lose him. And though Vivian couldn’t understand why her mother still loved her husband after all this time it made her wonder if maybe, just maybe, love did exist.

Reece was right. She never gave her father the benefit of the doubt. It was just easier to push it all away. Vivian had felt her father’s abandonment so keenly but had always felt a need to be strong for her mother.

She had never truly realized that her father was the first man to break her heart and it was because of him that she pushed everyone away and believed that she didn’t deserve love or happiness.

If her father died before she had a chance to listen to him, to make amends and forgive him it was going to eat away at her. Just like Reece had said.

“Dr. Maguire, I have the result for you.” The lab tech held out the sheet and Vivian grabbed it quickly, thanking him as she scanned the sheet.

And there it was.

It was a teratoma on the left lobe of the lung. It had just started to rear its ugly head and when blood was drawn just before the surgery the white blood count had finally elevated enough to raise a flag.

She was right. It was Lambert-Eaton Myasthenic Syndrome. That was causing all of Gary’s symptoms. Dr. Spader had told her the sample he took the biopsy from was so small that he’d resected the entire spot. Gary would need chemo but, without his body attacking the teratoma, he would regain function again, although slowly.

Vivian arranged an oncology consult for Gary and then went to meet with Gary’s managers with Dr. Brigham.

“Well?” Dr. Brigham asked.

“It’s LEMS,” Vivian announced.

Dr. Brigham grinned. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.” She handed the lab result to him.

“What is LEMS?” Gary’s manager Buzz asked, scratching his head.

“Gary had a teratoma, a cancerous growth starting on his lung. The problem was we couldn’t see it, but his body could. LEMS is a paraneoplastic syndrome,” Vivian said.

“In English, please,” Buzz groaned.

“His body was not only attacking the growth, but it was attacking him. Every other test came back clean before because it was so minor that it wasn’t showing. It’s almost like a stage zero. The growth was disrupting his neuromuscular transmission. That’s why he was having seizures among other things,” she said.

“So will he need to have chemo?” Buzz asked.

“I’ve asked for an oncology consult,” Vivian said. “He will need some chemo, but not for long. The surgeon who did the biopsy was able to resect the entire growth.”

“Excellent work, Dr. Maguire.”

Vivian nodded in deference to Dr. Brigham. She was relieved that she’d finally solved the mystery. She’d encountered LEMS only once before and that was a long time ago. It was something unexpected.

Just like falling for Reece again.
No. Not again. She’d never fallen out of love with him.

She shook that thought away and left Gary’s room. It was then that she saw Reece wheeling her father’s gurney into an ICU room. Reece didn’t look at her. He hadn’t looked at her since their blowup earlier.

She regretted the words she’d said to him.

She regretted a lot of things. Most of all hurting Reece, because he was right; she was unhappy. Lonely. And she’d come to the painful realization that career wasn’t everything. Love was. Only it was too late.

As if he knew she was looking at him, he looked back, but his expression was just as cold as the day she’d walked back into Cumberland Mills.

She wanted to find out how her father was, but she couldn’t bring herself to go over and talk to Reece.

You don’t deserve him.

She wanted to just turn and walk away, but she couldn’t. Before she knew what she was doing she was walking over to the ICU room and standing in the doorway.

“Can I help you?” Reece asked without glancing back at her.

“How is he?”

“He lived, but it was bad. I won’t lie to you. He may have brain damage. He wouldn’t take the clot-busting medicine when he first came in. He was so adamant to prove to me that he’d changed.” Reece reached into his pocket and pulled out an AA chip and placed it in her hand. “He brought this in. Two years sober.”

Reece left her then, standing in the ICU by her father’s bed.

Vivian stared at the chip in her hand. Her father had been telling the truth. Her mother too. Maybe he had changed. All this time she hadn’t thought people could change, but maybe they could.

You’ve changed so why not him?

She had changed on the outside maybe, but inside she still carried pain and she didn’t know why she hadn’t dumped the extra baggage a long time ago. She squeezed the AA chip in her hand. She
had
changed, just in a way she’d never thought was possible and she was glad for the change she wasn’t expecting.

It was then that she wept, standing by her father’s bedside. He’d begged her to listen, but she’d been so mad. Maybe if she had she would’ve seen the signs of stroke earlier, but she’d been just as stubborn and pigheaded as he was. Everyone deserved a second chance.

“Oh, Dad.” She reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry. I forgive you. Don’t go.”

The hand squeezed back and she smiled as his eyes opened briefly, but just briefly.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry.” She held up the chip. “Thank you.”

There was a faint smile and a slight nod as if he understood her. It was a faint glimmer of hope and she breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t let go of her hand though, so she pulled a chair over.

“Okay. I’ll stay. I’m right here.”

* * *

“Dr. Castle, can I speak with you a moment?”

Reece stopped to see Dr. Brigham motioning for him to join him in the conference room. Reece groaned. He didn’t have time for this.

“How can I help you, Dr. Brigham?” He froze in his tracks when he realized that it wasn’t just Dr. Brigham in the room, but the board of directors. “How can I help all of you?”

“We’ve made our decision about who will become the next Chief of Surgery.”

Reece nodded. “Okay. That’s fantastic. Is it Dr. Maguire?”

“No, Dr. Maguire withdrew from consideration yesterday,” Brigham said as if it was common knowledge and not really that important.

“What?” Reece asked in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that she’d walked away from the job. When she’d returned to Cumberland Mills she’d made it clear she was after Dr. Brigham’s job as Chief of Surgery.

“I have aspirations on Dr. Brigham’s job. Who wouldn’t?”

Her words came back to haunt him.

“Did she say why?”

“No, and it doesn’t matter as she actually recommended you.”

“Me? I’m not interested, Dr. Brigham. You know my reasons.”

“And they’re moot at this point. The board agrees you should take over as Chief of Surgery. We understand you’ll want to continue your Alzheimer’s trial so I will be offering my practice to Dr. Maguire, who has agreed to carry on as a part-time surgeon.”

Reece was taken aback. “She’s part-time?”

“Yes. She’s asked for a cutback in hours for personal reasons. And that’s fine. My question now is—do you accept?”

He didn’t know how to answer that. He’d always flown under the radar and stood in the shadows.

“Well, Dr. Castle? Do you accept?”

Reece nodded. “Thank you.”

Dr. Brigham nodded. “I’ve always thought you were right for the job, Reece. Always. I just wish you hadn’t made me go on such an extensive search before deciding that you actually deserved this job.”

“I’m sorry about that, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t.”

Reece chuckled and left the boardroom in shock and then dismay to learn that Vivian had stepped away from the position and that she was dropping her hours. She was such a talented surgeon. It was such a waste.

Can you blame her?

He’d given her such a hard time about her father when he couldn’t even deal with his own issues about his dad. There was guilt for not seeing him on his deathbed and that was why he couldn’t go out on that stage at the Grand Ole Opry and sing his songs.

It wouldn’t be right when he was such a terrible son all those years ago, letting bitterness and hate eat away at him. It had gotten him nowhere. That was why he’d snapped at Vivian. He didn’t want her to go through the same thing as him.

But she had been right. He was never going to be able to bury the ghost of his father or all the hurt and move on with his life if he didn’t get up on that stage and sing his father’s songs, like his dad had always wanted him to do.

When he walked past the ICU he was shocked to see that Vivian was still sitting by her father’s bedside, her hand in his.

Maybe she’d forgiven, but could he?

“You withdrew from consideration,” he whispered as he stood in the doorway.

She shrugged. “It was for the best. I didn’t deserve that position. You did. You stayed here and worked hard. You think you’re always standing in a shadow and are never good enough to step in that spotlight, but you are.”

Reece didn’t know how to take her compliment. “How is he?”

“He squeezed my hand and seemed to recognize me. Thank you. You were right.”

“About what?”

“I would’ve regretted not forgiving him. Thank you.”

Reece nodded quickly and left the room because she’d found that peace and forgiveness but he wasn’t sure if he had yet. He wasn’t sure if he could ever let go of the past and step out of his father’s shadow.

He wasn’t sure if he was strong enough, and if he couldn’t face that fear, then how could he ever expect to deserve Vivian’s love? The answer was simple.

He would never know unless he tried.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Three weeks later

T
HE
DOORBELL
RANG
INCESSANTLY
.

Great. Every time she was at the other end of the house someone always came to the door. She’d managed to get a nurse in to help with her parents, but she’d taken time off to make sure they were settled. Her father was expected to make a full recovery from his stroke, though he was still having grip issues that he needed to work on, so he wouldn’t be doing any tours or singing on stage any time soon.

But he seemed fine with that, saying that his last tour was just that. His last. He’d come home to take care of Sandra and once he was back on his feet he planned to do so.

Vivian’s mother had her good and bad days still, but the nurse was helping with that and, surprisingly, she noticed that her mother was less likely to have a lapse when her father was around.

She was nervous about going back to work and working under Reece. She’d heard through the grapevine that since Dr. Brigham stepped down Reece had implemented a lot of changes and streamlined how things worked at the hospital.