100 Perks of Having Cancer: Plus 100 Health Tips for Surviving It (32 page)

One group was told to keep a journal of all the things they were grateful

for over a ten-week period. The other group was told to write down all the

things that caused them aggravation, and a third group just wrote down

events as they occurred with no emphasis on being positive or negative.

Those who wrote down things they were grateful for experienced more

overall optimism and actually had fewer doctor visits than the group that

wrote down things that aggravated them, suggesting that when you notice

the good, you feel good.

In another study, the psychological impact of different positive activities

was measured in individuals by questionnaire. The one activity that had the

biggest impact on happiness was writing a letter of gratitude to someone in

their lives that the individual felt was never properly thanked. The beneficial

effects of this one act lasted for months!

This is also one of those “double whammy” actions as you
and
the

person being thanked get benefits. Who doesn’t like being told they’re

appreciated?

Interestingly, gratitude is the one emotion that cannot be

directed toward yourself. Therefore, it forces you to look outside

Expressing gratitude

yourself and redirects focus on someone else, allowing your

is not just for

brain to take a rest from thinking about troubles and issues

Thanksgiving Day;

you have.

it’s for every day.

The easiest way to say thank you is just to say it. It doesn’t

matter if it’s in person or over the phone; expressing appre -

ciation works as long as you’re sincere. Small gifts are nice, but a hand -

written thank-you note is often more valued. (Brownie points if the card is

handmade.)

Being generally thankful for your life, nature, and the people in it can

be expressed by keeping a journal. Think of several things every day that

you are thankful for and write them down, or just stop and take a few min-

utes to focus and meditate on the things that elicit gratitude.

Perk #31

Cancer Connected Me to a

Powerful Prayer Network

N
orman Vincent Peale, in his bestseller
The Power of Positive Thinking
said,

“When you send out a prayer for another person, you employ the force

inherent in a spiritual universe.”

When I first discovered I had cancer, I stepped my own prayers up a

notch and asked everyone I know to pray for me. While I have always been

a deeply spiritual person, I am also very scientifically minded. Even though

research is mixed on this topic, there are studies that show that even in

double-blind studies, patients who are prayed for fare significantly better

than those who are in the not-prayed-for group. There are other studies that

show that prayer does not make a difference. I have a problem with these

studies. If you are praying for someone you don’t know and will never meet

as part of an experiment, are you going to pray with the same fervor as you

would for your daughter who has cancer? Probably not. I think there is

something to be said for the quality of the prayer, a factor that cannot be

controlled for by science.

My parents are big believers in the power of prayer. One afternoon they

came to visit and found me lying on the couch crying my eyes out. A col-

league of mine who had been diagnosed at about the same time as me had

just died from breast cancer. I felt so sorry for her family and worried about

what the outcome would be for me. I could see the pain in my mother’s

eyes as she held me and rocked me in her arms. But dad would have none

of it! “What are you crying about?” he said very matter-of-factly. “Your

mother and I have all that cancer prayed out of you by now.”

After each chemotherapy treatment, I would post my “chemo status” on

Facebook, and I was so pleased with the response. Whether it was a formal

prayer, a “thinking of you,” or just “wishing you well,” all were good inten-

tions and therefore forms of prayer.

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100 Perks of Having Cancer

Even if you are not a spiritual or religious person,

what do you have to lose? If you are sick,

pray and ask others to pray for your recovery.

HEALTH TIP #31

Prayer Is Good Medicine

T
he research is solid that prayer as a form of meditation can help the one

who prays (pray-ers), but does being the subject of the prayer, or being

the one who is being prayed for (pray-ees), have its benefits as well?

Research is limited and conflicting at best. How does one measure or

prove the power of prayer for someone else? The subject of “intercessory

prayer” (praying for the well-being of someone else) has been studied by

only a handful of researchers. Some studies would work this way:

Researchers would take a group of “pray-ers” and tell them to pray for a

specific person and their physical outcome to a specific surgery or illness.

Success was measured by the level of improvement in their condition.

Sometimes, the patients knew someone was praying for them, and, in other

cases, it was kept a secret. In some instances, there were significant health

improvements in the prayer recipient group, showing shorter recovery times

and less need for invasive therapies. In most cases, the physical outcomes

of the pray-ees showed no measurable improvement.

But this is a tricky subject to study. There are many variables and things

you really can’t measure. Like how “well” the pray-ers prayed. I mean—were

they multitasking? Like praying while driving or when a commercial came

on the TV? And then there’s Flo’s point about not knowing the person who

is the subject of your prayers. Emotional connections might make a differ-

ence when praying for someone in your family versus a stranger.

While intercessory prayer has mixed results, the power of prayer for the

pray-ee has been well documented. Harold G. Koenig, MD, director of Duke

University’s Center for Spirituality, Theology, and Health, is an expert in

researching the influence that religion and faith have on health and well-

Perk 31: Cancer Connected Me to a Powerful Prayer Network

129

being. His book—
The Link Between Religion and Health: Psychoneuroimmunol-

ogy and the Faith Factor
—is the product of a meeting with twelve of the

world’s leading psychoneuroimmunologists, theologians, and physicians

that took place at Duke University in 1999. His book contains almost three

hundred pages of research results and statements from these specialists that

reinforce the relationship between “mind and body,” using religion as the

main component of the “mind.” Time and time again, a direct correlation

was proven between faith, prayer, and better physical health.

An interesting point in the literature is the differentiation between
intrin-

sic religiosity
and
extrinsic religiosity.
Dr. Koenig explains the difference

between the two in this way: “
Intrinsic
religiosity reflects a deep commitment

to one’s faith, which is reflected in an integration of religious beliefs and

practices into one’s life. In contrast,
extrinsic
religiosity is essentially utili-

tarian and involves the use of religion to reinforce one’s social status or to

justify one’s way of life.”

The religious beliefs and practices he is referring to include faith and

prayer. In other words, you can’t just “phone it in.” You can’t just “talk the

talk,” you also have to “walk the walk.” Merely walking into a place of wor-

ship won’t give you instant faith. The same way walk-

ing into a gym won’t give you a smokin’ hot bod.

Prayer, in general, is an easy

Prayer or spiritual meditation is something that must

way to improve your health

be practiced and nurtured. But once mastered, it can

and sense of well-being.

have a profound positive influence on your health.

And you can always send

Getting started might be the hardest part. If you

your prayers to those who

already belong to a place of worship, you could con-

need it. Nothing negative

sult a spiritual leader for some help. If you’re a “self-

can ever come from it.

study,” there is a wonderful book by Helene Ciaravino

titled
How to Pray: Tapping into the Power of Divine Com-

munication.
This nonthreatening, nondenominational guide is simple to

read and even easier to understand and follow. This book is great if you’re

someone who wants to connect to the divine using prayer, but doesn’t know

where to begin.

Consider prayer just one more tool for your “anti-cancer, living-better

tool box.”