1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (74 page)

550

FACT : The 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami could be the deadliest in history
, killing more than 200,000 people, many of them washed out to sea.
Hopefully they were already dead by the time they were taken to sea.

“Tsunami Facts: How They Form, Warning Signs, and Safety Tips,” National Geographic News, April 2, 2007,
www.news.nationalgeographic.com
.

CHAPTER 12
You
Animals!

Beastly Tales of
Creatures That
Outnumber Us

551

FACT :
If you urinate when swimming in a South American river, you might encounter the candiru, a tiny fish that will follow a stream of urine to its source, enter the body, and flare its barbed fins,
keeping it firmly embedded in the flesh
until it can be surgically removed.
I need some of those in my pool.

Ross Piper, Extraordinary Animals: An Encyclopedia of Curious and Unusual Animals (Greenwood Publishing Group, 2007).

552

FACT :
Electric eel cells can generate and release pulses of
more than 500 volts
.
Scientists are hoping to use these cells to power medical equipment, which sounds to me like something out of “The Flintstones”: your sleep apnea machine stops, you open a compartment on the side, and there’s an eel with his feet up, having a smoke. “What? I’m on a break!” he says, and slams the door.

Eric Bland, “Electric Eel Cells Inspire Energy Source,” Discovery Channel,
www.dsc.discovery.com
.

553

FACT :
The sea lizard is a type of sea slug that will eat venomous cnidarians like the Portuguese Man of War,
swallowing its stinging cells whole
, and collecting them in its outer extremities to act as a defense against predators.
Sea lizards are such users.

Edmund D. Brodie and John D. Dawson, Poisonous Animals (Macmillan, 2001).

554

FACT :
One of the most venomous marine creatures in the world is the box jellyfish.
It can kill a human within minutes
by uncoiling and firing its stinging tentacles into the victim, then pumping venom through the tentacles to paralyze him and cause cardiac arrest.
If I were a box jellyfish, I’d work on getting a more badass name. “Box jellyfish” sounds like something you get for lunch at summer camp.

“The 10 Most Dangerous Animals in the World,” AOL Travel,
www.travel.aol.co.uk
.

555

FACT :
The Australian blue-ringed octopus has
potent venomous saliva
that can cause numbness, paralysis, and death in humans.
I once saw a nature program on TV that described the octopus as “affectionate.” I don’t think they were talking about this one.

Edmund D. Brodie and John D. Dawson, Poisonous Animals (Macmillan, 2001).

556

FACT :
Lampreys and hagfishes are jawless, eel-like creatures that
secrete toxic skin slime
and blood that has a bitter taste, and can irritate the eyes and cause death from internal bleeding if consumed.
The hagfish is a close relative of several other fish, including the Pimpled Fug and the Jersey Buttaface.

Edmund D. Brodie and John D. Dawson, Poisonous Animals (Macmillan, 2001).

557

FACT :
The stingray uses a serrated spine on the upper surface of its tail to lash and cut into victims,
injecting them with venom
. Stings are intensely painful, and cause decreased blood pressure and erratic heart rate.
At least they don’t bury themselves in the sand and wait for you to step on them so they can sting you. Oh, wait, yes they do.

Edmund D. Brodie and John D. Dawson, Poisonous Animals (Macmillan, 2001).

558

FACT :
When threatened,
the sea cucumber ejects sticky, long threads
from its body to ensnare predators. Some species will contract their bodies, violently expelling internal organs that contain a deadly toxin.
The sea onion, on the other hand, just falls apart and cries.

“The Sea Cucumber,” How Stuff Works,
www.animals.howstuffworks.com
.