1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (82 page)

Joerg Wolf, “More Americans Believe that Saddam Was Directly Involved in 9/11,” Atlantic Review, June 27, 2007,
www.atlanticreview.org
.

616

FACT :
The United States government first became debt-free in 1835—which was also
the last time
the government was debt-free.
“Debt-free”? What is that?

”Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Facts about Our Amazing America—Did you Know?” Travel America,
FindArticles.com
, March 5, 2009,
www.findarticles.com
.

617

FACT :
It is
against the law
in several states to dance to the “Star Spangled Banner.”
Shame, because it’s such a great dance song.

”Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Facts about Our Amazing America—Did you Know?” Travel America,
FindArticles.com
, March 5, 2009,
www.findarticles.com
.

618

FACT :
In 1992, Nike paid Michael Jordan $2 million to promote their shoes, as much money as
the combined wages of all the workers
in the factories that made them.
But they all got free Nike “swoosh” headbands, which really help control the sweat on that three-hour walk to and from work every day.

Diana Elizabeth Kendall and others, Sociology in Our Times, 2nd ed. (Nelson Thomson Learning, 1999).

619

FACT :
In 2005, the American Nazi Party erected two signs
using taxpayers’ money
on roads outside Salem, Oregon. The racist group had adopted a stretch of highway, and their right of free speech guaranteed by the Constitution prohibited the Adopt-A-Highway program from censoring them.
Whenever they clean up their stretch of road, it’s called, “White Trash Day.”

Niki Sullivan, “‘Nazi Party’ Adopts Highway Near Salem in Rural Oregon,” Spokesman Review, January 28, 2005,
www.spokesmanreview.com
.

620

FACT :
As of September 15, 2009, there are
103,516 Americans on waiting lists
for organ transplants.
I wonder how many of those are waiting on brains. Because I know a lot of people who aren’t using theirs.

Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Health Resources and Services Administration,
http://optn.tr
ansplant .hrsa.gov.

621

FACT :
Eight of every ten e-mails sent worldwide are spam.
American companies lose an estimated $22 billion annually
in time spent deleting junk e-mail.
The other two of ten are hoaxes, chain mail, urban myths, and other crap with little flashing hearts and teddy bears, sent by your mom.

Swartz, Nikki, ”Deleting Spam Costs Businesses Billions,” Information Management Journal, May/Jun 2005,
www.findarticles.com
.

622

FACT : 35 percent of Americans
eat at a fast food restaurant at least once a week.
And then 99 percent of them race home to take a dump. The other i percent can’t wait that long and have the added delight of going right there in Burger King. Or crapping their pants, which might actually be preferable.

“Consumers in Europe—Our Fast Food/Take Away Consumption Habits,” AC Nielsen, 2004,
www.ie.nielsen.com
.

623

FACT :
In its first year at sea, dozens of seats on the newly launched luxury cruise liner, the
Queen Mary 2
, collapsed
when obese American passengers sat down on them
.
They weren’t obese when the cruise started.

Olinka Koster, “QM2 Chairs Buckle Under Weighty Cruisers,” Daily Mail,
www.dailymail.co.uk
.

624

FACT :
In 2004, students at Alexandria Country Day School, a private elementary school in Virginia, got a surprise with their lunch:
cafeteria workers accidentally served them pre-mixed margaritas
left over from a staff party, mistaking it for limeade.
Unlike the staff, the students kept their clothes on. Like the staff, several of them barfed.