13 Rounds (4 page)

With shaking hands, I bring the cup of coffee to my lips and take a big gulp. After I swallow, I let out a long, ragged breath. “I need to end it,” I say. “This is not how a relationship works.”

I eye Lara as the tears drip down my cheeks. My face is on fire and I place both of my hands on my cheeks, hoping they’ll put out the blaze. My hands are cold and it helps a little, but not by much.

“Are sure that’s what you want, Lee?” Lara probes. I close my eyes, but I can feel hers on me. She’s examining me again, I know it. “I know you love him.”

I do love him.

More than anything.

It’s like I am the moon, illuminating the dark, night sky with my love for him.

In my eyes he is my first, my last, my one and only.

I know deep down in my heart that I’ll never love another the way I love him. I know that when or if I ever look into another man’s eyes, I won’t feel the same way. I know and feel if any person ever has a chance at that one, true thing they shouldn’t waste it.

But then…

There are moments where you have to ask yourself when enough enough is. And when enough is enough how long after that will you hit the point where you break?

Shatter.

Explode into a million little pieces.

I’ve reached that point.

I lower my gaze and stare at the table. The dark, cherry wood fills my gaze and I feel defeated. “It’s over.” There’s finality in my tone and when I say, “It’s over,” a second time my voice cracks.

I sob.

My face is my palms and the sobs are coming out so hard and so fast that I’m having a difficult time breathing. Lara gets up and moves behind me, draping her arms over my shoulders. I hear the smile in her voice when she says, “So when are you moving back in, roomie?”

I sniffle and let out a soft laugh as I thumb the tears out of the crescents of my eyes. “Well technically I didn’t really move out.”

When Sean and I first started dating, I thought it would be best if I didn’t move my stuff out of my old place. After all, we live right next door to each other. That and I wanted to have my old place to fall back on in case something ever really did happen between us. Now I’m glad I made that decision.

There’s a knock at the door.

I blink several times.

Blow out some air through my lips.

I glance at Lara warily for approval. She gives me a thumbs up, meaning that I’m okay for conversation, so I get up and make my way to the door. I throw her a grin from over my shoulder and she mouths, “See you soon.” Then she blows me a kiss.

I chuckle at her, shake my head then open the door.

Chapter 8

~Connie~

There was something strange going on with the boy-o. Connie was absolutely certain of this. Not only because of his actions when he first called out to him; the way he hurried that young lady into the building, but also because of his mannerisms during their conversation.

He was fidgeting.

Restless.

He seemed distracted.

Wouldn’t really make eye- contact.

Connie played it off like he was none-the-wiser, but then again, he’d always been a really good actor.

But…

The boy-o knew him. He knew him well, which meant that if Connie tried anything the boy-o would catch on pretty fast. Still, Connie wasn’t willing to risk everything that he had built based on the fact that the man that he practically raised knew the way he operated.

He approached the Lincoln and Aidan stood next to the door, he opened it for Connie. After Connie sat down inside and Aidan closed the door, he waited for his right-hand man to secure himself in the driver’s seat and when he did Connie spoke up, “Aidan.”

Aidan glanced at him through the rearview mirror, his eyes a piercing green. “Aye, Connor?”

“Find out who they boy-o’s lady friend is. Find out exactly what kind of relationship they have. And any extra info you can dig up.”

Aidan started the car and stated, “Consider it done.”

“Aye, bug both of their phone’s too. And put a tail on the girl.”

“Yes sir.”

With that, Aidan pulled away from the curb. Connie glanced out the window. Cars lined the road, parked but there was no oncoming traffic. As he watched the cars they passed by, he began to think harder about his earlier conversation with Sean. He had purposely brought up Teagan to find out if Sean knew anything about her whereabouts.

“Boy, have you heard from your sister?” Connie had asked.

“No,” Sean responded. “I called, Emery, or Emil…you know? Her husband whatever his name is. I called him several times and left messages, but haven’t heard anything back yet.”

“Aye, well if she contacts you tell her to call me.”

At that moment the boy-o started looking at him suspiciously. “Why?”

Connie had let out a fake, jovial laugh. “What?” He’d thrown his arms up. “Can’t I ask her about how she’s doing in college? I practically raised her and you too in case you’ve forgotten.”

Sean had relaxed his shoulders and nodded in agreement. “Yeah. If I hear from her, I’ll have her give you a ring.”

Sean started walking toward the door and Connie had stopped him with a, “Hey!” His voice had been loud. Booming. When the boy-o balled his fists at his sides, Connie knew that he had gotten his attention. Sean turned slowly facing Connie. “I’m not done yet.” Connie aimed his finger at Sean. “I want you to remember one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“Don’t you ever turn your back on me boy-o.”

~~~

Murphy O’Fallon hated doing the bitch-work for the brotherhood. He longed to see action. Sometimes he wondered if any of the mob stuff he’d seen in movies was legit.

All Connie ever had him do was run errands, clean up the warehouse and blah blah blah. He wondered that if he’d ever be trusted to count the cash from drops like Sean or even collect money owed like another member named Kyle did. He guessed that since he hadn’t been a member for too long that maybe that kind of responsibility would come with time.

The sun was setting on the horizon as he pulled into the parking lot of one of the abandoned warehouses that Connie owned. He was instructed to drop off some bread and water for someone Connie was holding. Although he wasn’t one hundred percent certain who. Connie picked up randoms he was affiliated with for questioning all the time.

With a flashlight in his left hand, the brown paper bag in his right, he got out of Sean’s old mini-van and headed toward the building.

The right corner was crumbling in, the red brick was coated with a black-looking residue and some of the windows were either cracked or completely gone.

Even for Murph, who was well over six feet and almost three hundred pounds, being inside this building didn’t feel safe. Still, he was loyal to the brotherhood and when the king-pin instructed him to do something he fucking did it ASAP.

Once inside he gagged. The pungent smell of wetness and mold nearly choked him and it took everything in him not to upchuck all over the floor. After his stomach settled and he turned on the flashlight, he located the stairs and quickly made his way to the basement.

The walls were powder blue and pieces of plaster were hanging down in chunks. There was the same black residue that was on the outside of the building all over the walls and when Murph lowered his eyes to the stairs, he noticed that they were falling apart in places. It was at that moment that he wondered if he was really the right man for this job.

He took each step carefully, hoping and praying that the rotting wood wouldn’t crumble beneath his weight. When he reached the last step, he raised the flashlight high above his head, walking forward a few steps. He noticed someone bound to a chair, their head hanging down and the closer he got the more familiar the person became.

Mother fucker.

Murph rushed toward the chair as fast as he could and dropped the brown bag at her feet.

“Teagan!” he cried. “What the fuck, Teagan?” He slapped her face a few times, gently, and just enough to wake her if she was sleeping. “Son of a bitch!” Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “Tee, wake up. Please wake up!”

Murph knew that Connie had brought her in for questioning based on something, but he never thought that he would actually stoop to this level of treatment for someone he considered to be his family. Murph also knew that Connie could be a cruel and ruthless man when he wanted to be, but to Murphy O’Fallon, at that moment he had crossed the line.

“Oh God, Teagan.” He was not an emotional man, but Murph could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. A pang struck his big, gentle heart. He knew that Connie would most likely kill him for what he was about to do, but he also knew it was right. Teagan was the closest thing he had to a little sister and he wasn’t about to let her endure anymore of this type of torture.

In one swift motion, he ripped the duct-tape off of her arms and legs, picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and then ran from the building.

Chapter 9

~Hadlee~

I look into Sean’s eyes and almost lose it.

I’m on the verge of breaking down again. We walk down the hall a little bit and I almost stumble into Sean. Part of me wants to bury my face in his shoulder and cry harder than I ever have before, but I don’t.

I remain strong.

Solid.

I’m an ivory statue built to last hundreds of years.

There’s an uncomfortable silence expanding between us and Sean breaks it when he says, “Sorry about that.” We stop in front of the glass doors and he nods toward the outside. “You know, earlier.”

I decide that this is it. I’m going to give him one more opportunity to speak for himself. I’m hoping he doesn’t blow it. “Oh yeah,” I say. “What was that all about?”

He remains silent for a second then takes both of my hands in his. I know he’s staring at me. I know he wants me to look him in the eye, but I can’t. Not right now. “Don’t worry about it,” he tells me. “It was nothing important.”

I let go of his hands, let mine drop at my sides, and try, strain, fight as hard as I can to hold back the tears welling up in my eyes. “Nothing important,” I whisper. Finally I glare at him. “Nothing important.”

There’s a caring look on his face. “Are you okay?” he asks, a hint of concern in his voice. “Hadlee, if there’s something wrong you need to tell me.”

“You’re what’s wrong!” I shout. “You’re what’s wrong!”

“What?” His mouth falls open, he takes a step back staring at me, baffled. “What the hell are you talking about?

I don’t want to expose the way I feel right now. It takes a lot for me to let it all out. Maybe in time I’ll be able to fully explain it, but not right here. Not right now.

Instead, I swallow hard.

Mentally chant.

Keep it together.

You are strong.

You can do this.

I keep my voice low and level when I say, “You know that everything is not okay.”

He throws his hands up in the air in frustration. “Well then will you please tell me, what the fuck is wrong!”

The five words I’m about to say to him nearly strangle me. I’m not even sure if I can get them out. And I know when I do finally say them there’s going to be a part of me that dies. As painful as it’s going to be, I know the words need to be spoken and it’s at that moment that I tell him, “I want to break up.”

Chapter 10

~Sean~

Days have passed.

Followed by weeks.

It honestly doesn’t even matter anymore because my days, nights, weeks, yeah…time in general all seems to blur together.

Nothing seems right since Hadlee dumped me.

She fucking dumped me.

It’s the first time I’ve ever been dumped.

I’ve been doing my training schedule for upcoming fight at night. Joe comes for a portion of my workout. I do a few rounds of sparring in the early evening which usually results in me knocking my sparring partner out then I complete my workout by skipping rope or going a few rounds with the punching bag.

It’s punching bag kind of night.

The gym is empty.

It’s quiet.

The only sound is my gloved fist connecting with the punching bag.

Right jab.

Right jab.

I hop back and forth from toe to toe.

Left jab.

Left jab.

Right uppercut.

Left uppercut.

Right-hook.

I repeat this exercise a few times, hoping that the conclusion to my workout will keep me distracted, but it doesn’t.

All I keep hearing is Hadlee’s voice in my mind. Her words replay over and over again like a song on repeat.

I want to break up.

I want to break up.

I want to break up.

I’ve tried to numb the pain with some good ol Jameson. I’ve tried to talk to other women to keep my mind off of things.

None of it works.

It’s so hard because I miss her like crazy. I know it’s only been a few weeks and I know no one can get over something like this overnight. I know it takes months, sometimes years to peace a broken heart back together, but this is the first time I’ve ever had one so in a way I’m new to it all.

I’ve even gone into crazy mode and sat in the back parking lot where she works, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Sometimes I do. And when I see her, she seems fine. Like this whole break up thing isn’t bothering her at all.

A few times I’ve seen her she’s been smiling.

Laughing even.

She looks so happy.

That’s what kills me more than anything because I am anything but happy. I am a fucking mess. I’ve started avoiding people. That’s one of the reasons why I spoke to Joe about switching my training schedule, so I could come to the gym at night. I don’t want the ‘what’s going on with you’s’ or the ‘is everything okay?’ It’s much easier for me to go on pretending that nothing happened.

I think what’s killing me more than anything is the self-blame. I keep asking myself what I could have done differently. I wish she would have told me. I wish I had a chance to do everything over. That’s the shitty thing about life. You rarely get do-over’s. I mean how many people can say they get a second chance at anything. I can’t think of anybody.