14 Fearless Fourteen (6 page)

“Me, too,” I said to Betty. “I need three.”

“Three?” Lula said. “I'm the one with the wedding jitters, and
you're trumping me on eclairs. What's with that?”

“I have Zook and Loretta jitters.”

“That don't seem like three-eclair jitters to me,” Lula said.
“That's barely a single eclair. That might be a half a eclair.
Maybe I need more eclairs.” She looked over at Betty. “You might
want to put a couple more eclairs in that box.”

Betty boxed up six eclairs and handed them over. “What kind of
cake are you thinking about?” Betty asked. “Chocolate, vanilla,
carrot cake, rum cake, chocolate chip, spice, banana? And then you
get to choose the filling between the layers. Lemon pudding,
chocolate mousse, whipped cream, coconut cream, tropical fruit
filling?”

“I like all them cakes,” Lula said. “The part I want to talk
about is the bride and groom. The little people on top the cake
have to be right. Tank and me are darker than the little people you
got displayed. And we're more... full-bodied. You see what I'm
saying?”

The door to the bakery opened and Morelli sauntered in, draped
an arm around my shoulders, and gave me a friendly kiss just above
my ear. “Saw your car parked at the curb,” he said. “Nice paint
job.”

“Protects me from Moondog.”

“One less thing for me to worry about,” Morelli
said.

I took the box of eclairs and went outside to talk. I opened the
box and offered it to Morelli. “Hungry?”

Morelli's eyes went beyond the box to my T-shirt and traveled
south. “Yeah,” he said.

“Right now, I'm only offering eclairs.”

Morelli blew out a sigh and took one. I did the same, and we
stood in the sun with our backs to the building and ate our
eclairs.

“I had a disturbing conversation with Dominic Rizzi,” I said to
Morelli. “His contention is that not only did you steal his Aunt
Rose's house out from under him, but that you're Mario's
father.”

“That's ridiculous,” Morelli said.

“Dora claims he caught you in the act with Loretta in her
father's garage, and nine months later Mario was
born.”

Morelli chewed slowly and thought about it.

“I went through a lot of women back then. I don't remember all
of them.”

“Seems to me you'd remember having sex with your
cousin.”

“To begin with, Loretta's not exactly part of the family tree.
It's more like she's in the forest.”

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?”

“I don't know. It's like we're forty-third cousins or
something.” He finished eating and took a paper napkin from me. “I
guess I have some vague recollection of a skirmish in the garage,
but I don't recall doing it with Loretta.”

“Then who was in the garage with you?”

“I don't know,” Morelli said. “It was dark.” He looked at the
eclair box. “Can I have another one?”

“No.”

“You're mad.”

“Of course I'm mad. How could you have been so irresponsible?
God, you were such a... pig.”

“That's not exactly a secret,” Morelli said. “Everyone knew I
was a pig. You knew I was a pig.”

“There's more bad news,” I told him.

“Terrific. What is it?”

“Dominic has decided you should die, and he's going to kill
you.”

“I need to have a talk with Loretta. And then I'll talk to Dom.
See if I can get him interested in solving his mental health
issues.” He gave me a kiss on my forehead. “Gotta go. Are you
working tonight?”

“Yes. Brenda has a press conference this afternoon and dinner
with the mayor tonight.”

“Will you be able to pick Zook up after school?”

“If I can't, I'll get someone else to do it. And I'm going to
leave him with my parents this afternoon, if Loretta isn't bonded
out. Dom is too irrational about you. I don't want to make things
worse by putting his nephew in your house.” And what went unsaid
was that I was still spooked by the guy in the basement. Morelli's
house didn't feel secure.

Morelli opened the driver's side door to his SUV and clumps of
dog hair tumbled out and drifted off on a breeze. “Be careful
tonight,” he said.

“No problem. Brenda isn't dangerous.”

Morelli angled himself behind the wheel. “I was thinking of
Ranger.”

Lula bustled out of the store, and we watched Morelli drive off.
“That man is fine,” Lula said, taking an eclair from the box. “I
get a rush just looking at him.”

I glanced over at her.

“Well, hell,” she said. “I'm engaged. I'm not
dead.”

Unknown

I was back in my black suit and black heels. In an effort to
compete with Brenda, I'd added an extra swipe of mascara and I'd
run a brush through my hair. If I'd had an extra hour and a half, I
could have done a lot better.

I reached the hotel five minutes late, and Tank was still on
duty in front of Brenda's door.

“Ranger's at a meeting with hotel security,” Tank said. “I'll
stay with you until he gets here.”

Spending time with Tank was always excrutiating, because for the
most part Tank didn't talk. Ranger didn't talk a lot, either, but
he said a lot with his eyes and his touch. I'd reached a level of
comfort with Ranger. Ranger looked at ease and in control when he
was with me. Tank looked like he wanted to bolt and
run.

“So,” I said to Tank, doing some mental knuckle-cracking,
searching for an icebreaker. “Congratulations.”

“What?”

“On your engagement.”

“Oh jeez,” Tank said, his upper lip breaking out in a sweat.
“You know about it?”

“Lula told me.”

“What did she say? Did she say how it happened? You know, how I
proposed?”

“She said it was very romantic.”

Tank did a grimace. “Listen, can I talk to you real
confidential? I mean, Ranger trusts you, and he doesn't trust
anyone, so maybe I can trust you, too, right?”

“Sure.”

“I don't remember proposing. I guess I was so nervous, I blanked
out or something. I don't even remember buying the ring! All I
remember is I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was engaged. Lula
was wearing the ring, and she was all excited.”

Oh boy. “I guess the important thing is that you're happy about
it,” I told him. “You are happy, aren't you?”

“I don't know. I'm confused. You won't tell Ranger, will you?
He'll laugh his ass off.”

“Ranger laughs?”

“He laughs on the inside.”

“You're going to have to tell Ranger sooner or later,” I said to
Tank.

“Why?”

“Because you'll get married and...”

“Married! We just got engaged.”

“That's usually followed by marriage.”

Tank's eyes were blank and his face went gray under the brown.
He staggered back, went down to one knee, and crashed to the floor
in a faint.

The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank
stretched out on the carpet.

“Fainted,” I said.

Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at
him. “Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a
rock.”

“Well, the rock fainted.”

Ranger toed him, and Tank moaned a little and opened his
eyes.

“Why did he faint?”

“I can't tell you.”

Ranger cut his eyes to me. “Excuse me?”

“I promised.”

Ranger gave Tank another nudge with his foot. Actually, it was
almost a kick.

“I do,” Tank said. “No, wait, I don't. I do. I don't.” He shook
his head, his vision cleared, and he looked up at Ranger.
“Crap.”

“You fainted,” I told Tank.

“I did not,” Tank said. “That's a lie.”

Ranger grabbed Tank by the shirt and pulled him to his feet. No
small task, since Tank had about fifty pounds on
Ranger.

“Talk,” Ranger said to Tank.

Tank looked at me.

“You might as well,” I said to Tank. “He'll find out anyway. He
always does.”

“I'm engaged,” Tank said. “I guess it's to get
married.”

Ranger didn't move for a beat. “Engaged,” he finally said. “And
you think it's to get married?”

Tank nodded his head.

“And your fiancee?”

“Lula,” Tank said.

Ranger rocked back on his heels, grinning. “No wonder you
fainted.”

“You gotta help me,” Tank said.

“No way I'm getting involved in this. You're on your own.”
Ranger glanced at the door to Brendas suite. “Any word from the
diva?”

“Haven't seen her all day,” Tank said. “The PR person is in
there.”

Ranger checked his watch and rapped on the door. Nothing
happened, so he rapped again, and Nancy answered. “Five minutes,”
Ranger said.

Ten minutes later, Ranger opened the door with his key card, and
we walked in on Brenda. She was in a hotel bathrobe, and she was
talking on the phone.

“I'm in the middle of something,” she said to
Ranger.

“We need to leave,” Ranger said.

“Be a good boy or mommy will spank you,” Brenda said to
Ranger.

Ranger yanked the phone cord out of the wall, and the little
plastic clip popped off and flew across the room.

Brenda looked Ranger over. “Very masterful,” she said. “I like
your style.”

Hard to tell if it was sarcasm, or if Brenda was feeling like
she wouldn't mind wearing Ranger's handcuffs. I was going with some
of both.

Ranger looked at Nancy. “Does she have clothes?”

Nancy had a bunch of dresses draped over her arm. “We're working
on it.”

“Work on it faster,” Ranger said.

I could hear muffled voices and scuffling sounds in the hall.
There was a loud thud, someone shrieked, and that led to more
voices all talking at once.

Ranger opened the door, and we looked out at Tank. He was
surrounded by women carrying signs protesting Brenda and breast
augmentation. Tank had one of the signs in one hand and a woman by
the back of her jacket in the other. The woman's feet weren't
touching the ground.

“What's going on?” Ranger asked Tank. ¦

“They wanted to get in to see Brenda, but I wouldn't let them,
and then this one hit me with her sign,” Tank said.

“That's assault,” Ranger said to the woman. “We could have you
arrested.”

The woman looked at Ranger and sucked in some
air.

“Put her down,” Ranger said to Tank, “and return her sign.” He
faced the rest of the women. “You can't protest here. You have to
return to the lobby. You can have your demonstration down there.
Brenda will be walking through in a couple minutes.”

The women turned and got into the elevator and
disappeared.

Ranger punched hotel security into his cell phone. “We have
protestors in the elevator, heading for the lobby,” he said. “I
want them escorted out of the hotel.”

“You're sneaky,” I said to Ranger.

Ranger ushered me back into the suite. “Something to
remember.”

Brenda had crammed herself into a low-cut black sweater and
tight black jeans.

The sweater gave a first-rate display of her spectacularly
augmented breasts.

Truth is, for a moment I was just a teensy jealous. I was half
her age, and I was worried that even on a good day, I didn't look
as sexy as Brenda. She was wearing strappy heels and long, dangly
diamond earrings that caught the light when she
moved.

“What was that all about?” she asked.

“More animal cruelty protestors in the hall,” I said. “They're
gone.” I thought this was easier than explaining about the breast
augmentation issue.

“Honestly, I don't know what their problem is! It's not like I'm
torturing puppies. It was a friggin' mink coat. Those minks were
born to be coats. Has anyone ever explained that to them?” She
turned and pointed her finger at Nancy. “I want you to talk to
them. It's your job to make things run smoothly and effortlessly
for me. This is all your fault.”

“I'm getting a migraine,” Nancy whispered to me. “I might have
to skip the press conference.”

“A migraine isn't going to get you out of this,” I told her. “If
you died, I'd drag your cold, dead body to that press conference.
If I have to go... you have to go.”

The Women Against Augmentation were MIA when we walked into the
lobby with Brenda. A few die-hard fans were milling around, clumped
together behind the potted plants, but we swished through before
they realized Brenda was in their space. Ranger was wasting no time
moving her to the large conference room at the opposite end of the
hotel. Nancy was practically running in an attempt to keep ahead of
him as he towed Brenda, his hand wrapped around her wrist,
partially to hurry her along, partially to keep her from grabbing
him. I was last in line, guarding the rear.

The conference room was filled with media when we arrived. A
small, raised stage had been set in place. It held two chairs and a
table with a vase of flowers and two handheld microphones. Brenda
took a chair and Lew Pepper, the concert promoter who had hired
Ranger, took the other. Pepper looked over at Ranger, and Ranger
deadpanned a cold-eyed stare, extended his index finger at Lew,
thumb up to simulate a gun, and pulled the trigger. Lew laughed but
looked nervous and pointed to the first reporter up.

A small man with gray hair tied back in a ponytail and wearing a
lumpy sports coat of no specific color stood. “I'm from the
Princeton paper, and I'd like to know if you feel the lyrics to
your latest album are relevant in todays culture.”

“They weren't even relevant when I made the album,” she said. “I
always try to avoid content in my songs.”

A woman from a Hunterdon County weekly asked Brenda if she liked
horses.

“Sure,” Brenda said. “Doesn't everyone?”

That was followed by a guy who looked like he'd been kicked
around the block a few times, recently. “I'm from the Newark paper,
and I'd like to know what the gate is on this
concert.”

“Not as big as your booze bill,” Brenda said.

Everyone laughed. These people all knew one another. This was a
conference for local newsmen. Brenda was a big deal in Trenton, but
New York wouldn't cross the river for her. But then, New York
didn't cross the river for anyone.