Authors: Ian Doescher
OBI-WAN
[
into comlink:
] Oddball, dost thou attend? Mark well my spot
And form the squad behind whilst I approach.
[
Aside:
] What odd, eccentric titles these clones have.
TROOPER 1
I come withal, good General Kenobi.
The troops and I upon your will do wait.
Now lock your S foils in attack position.
ANAKIN
The time of mirth and sport begins anon,
For I do love a battle fought in space.
OBI-WAN
Pray, let the vulture droids fly in our midst.
VULTURES
Guard ye in back,
We do attack!
TROOPER 2
E’en now they work me woe, I prithee get
The awful beasties hence, away from me.
ANAKIN
I shall make way to help the trooper.
OBI-WAN
—Nay!
They do their duty; so may we do ours.
VULTURES
We shoot our fire,
You shall expire!
ANAKIN
’Tis missiles they have launch’d with purpose rank.
Pull up, so we the danger may avoid!
OBI-WAN
The fiends have overshot.
ANAKIN
—They do return:
They seek the heat that powers our small ships.
OBI-WAN
R4, take thou evasive action, yet
Do not evade thy senses as thou fliest.
Be cautious—make our darting not too rough.
ANAKIN
Surge thou the power units, R2, then
Make ready all our thrusters for reverse.
This is but child’s play—these few missiles are
No match for such a pilot as myself.
Ha, ha! The missiles are confounded, see
How they whirl and explode upon themselves!
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, squeak, beep, whistle, whistle, whee!
OBI-WAN
Alas, I am beset by foes’ pursuit—
’Tis my belief this flying is for droids,
For humans have no wings for taking flight.
VULTURES
We board your ship,
We’ll cut, we’ll rip!
OBI-WAN
The beasties are upon me now!
ANAKIN
—I see,
The buzz droids have assail’d your ship. I come!
R4-P17
Blip, bleep, zip, whoop!
OBI-WAN
—Take care, R4, thou hast—
Alack, my noble droid, what have they done?
[The vulture droids rip off R4-P17’s head, destroying him.
They shall shut down all my controls, I fear.
ANAKIN
Steer starboard, such that I may clearly shoot.
I’ll give them recompense for dear R4.
OBI-WAN
Nay, focus on the mission. Get to the
Command ship, there to save the chancellor.
I have but few tricks left unto me here.
VULTURES
Make haste, be done,
And all is won!
ANAKIN
Nay, nay, good Master, mine aim is precise!
[Anakin shoots, killing some vulture droids but also hitting Obi-Wan’s ship.
OBI-WAN
O, in the name of all that’s—cease at once!
Hold thou thy fire, for thou dost give no help.
ANAKIN
Agreed, my Master, mine apologies.
The hands were quick to act, but not the mind.
OBI-WAN
My flight is blind—my cockpit is a fog,
A haze past which I scarce can see mine hand,
Much less the vessel whereunto I fly.
The vulture droids still make their harsh attack—
This is, mayhap, the end of Obi-Wan.
[Anakin pilots his ship next to Obi-Wan’s fighter.
ANAKIN
Move thou still rightward.
OBI-WAN
—Patience, Anakin!
Else thou shalt be the end of both of us.
Away, go hence, there’s nothing thou canst do.
ANAKIN
I shall not part without you, Master, nay!
VULTURES
They stay to fight,
We’ll show our might!
[A vulture droid moves from Obi-Wan’s ship to Anakin’s and takes its place in front of R2-D2.
ANAKIN
Pray finish it, R2, and slay the beast.
OBI-WAN
Be sure, small droid, thou aimest for its eye—
The center of its head, its core, its life.
R2-D2
[
aside:
] Some droids are made for help, still others war,
Some droids are made for service, some for pain.
Yet these are droids whose only naughty task
Is sheer destruction. Happily I turn
Their tricks on them. Have at you, rotten scrap!
[R2-D2 shocks the droid in its eye, and it falls.
Beep, meep, squeak, whistle, hoo, meep, squeak, beep, beep!
ANAKIN
Well done, my noble droid. Thou didst succeed!
OBI-WAN
Our thanks, R2. Would that thy counterpart,
R4-P17, had been so bold.
Yet now is he another astromech
Who is a casualty of bitter war.
ANAKIN
The general’s command ship lies ahead—
Almost we have attain’d the place we seek.
R2-D2
[
aside
:] O! They have not yet seen! [
To Anakin:
] Nee, hoo, nee, squeak!
OBI-WAN
Dost thou not see the shields are still intact?
ANAKIN
Beg pardon, I did miss that small detail.
[Anakin veers to avoid the shield.
I strike upon the generator there!
The shield that was their strength is now their loss.
[The shield dissipates, but a blast door begins to lower, covering the bay.
OBI-WAN
From one snag to another we do fly.
I have a feeling bad about this moment!
ANAKIN
Let us make haste, I’ll warrant we shall make’t!
[Obi-Wan, Anakin, and R2-D2 land inside the command ship just as the blast door closes.
Exeunt other combatants, including vulture droids.
Enter
BATTLE DROIDS
.
OBI-WAN
I hurtle out, with Jedi acumen:
My ship crash-landed, now I fight on foot.
Come, lightsaber, into my steady hand,
And slay the battle droids who gather ’round.
[Obi-Wan jumps from his ship and begins fighting as Anakin and R2-D2 disembark.
ANAKIN
The vessel down, now I shall rise at once.
R2-D2
[
aside:
] I come, too, to supply what aid I may.
DROID 1
They do appear—slay them at once, my comrades!
[The battle droids begin shooting at Anakin, who deflects their approach.
ANAKIN
Fall, useless droids, upon my saber’s touch!
OBI-WAN
I had almost forgot how weak they are,
How simple to destroy by Jedi might.
R2, to thy work—find the chancellor!
R2-D2
Beep, whistle, squeak, meep, whistle, whistle, nee!
[Obi-Wan and Anakin vanquish all the battle droids. R2-D2 plugs into the ship’s computer and projects a model of the ship.
OBI-WAN
The signal of the chancellor doth come
From there, nearby the top spire of the ship,