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Not that he had time to ponder the issue much longer. The orchestra bellowed out the first notes of the prelude, and Nathan settled back in his chair, anxious to get this performance behind him so that he could focus on what really mattered—his trip home.

Chapter Eight

Wednesday Morning, April 10, 1912

Abingdon Manor Guest Cottage, Richmond, England

On the morning of April 10, Tessa rose from the bed after a near-sleepless night. She’d spent several hours with her stomach tied up in knots. Now, with the budding of a new day, she found herself questioning her decision to leave. Should she board the ship or turn back to her former life? Neither made sense right now, but the moment had come to take a step in one direction or the other. If she stayed in England, Peter’s life would change forever. If she took Jacquie’s place on the
Titanic
, hers would.

She threw herself onto the bed once again, ushering fitful prayers heavenward. If what Pa said was true, God punished reprobates by returning evil for evil. The very act of boarding the ship in Jacquie’s place qualified Tessa as a reprobate, a sinner of the highest degree. The Lord would surely smite her. He would bring catastrophe upon her life, no doubt. But if she chose not to go, her brother’s chances for happiness would be dashed forever. Surely the Lord understood that, didn’t He? She spent several minutes pleading with Him, hoping to find the peace she needed to board the ship.

Or not to board the ship.

Lord, show me what to do. Please.

Peter arrived at the cottage a few minutes after seven, looking pale and drawn. He found her in a puddle of tears. In true brotherly fashion he pulled her into a warm embrace, and she let the tears flow. “Tessa, listen to me.” The tremor in his voice gave away his emotion. “You don’t have to go through with this for my sake.” With the tip of his finger he lifted her chin. “I want you to know that.”

“W–what?” She gazed up at him, surprised. Was this the answer she had prayed for, perhaps?

“I mean it.” He reached to grip her hand. “I want you to know—I need you to know—that I would never have suggested all this in the first place if I didn’t think it was the best possible opportunity for you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I—I think so.”

“This isn’t about me. It’s about you.” He paused, and she noticed the trembling in his hands. “I’ve been thinking of you all along. All of this has been for you. Every decision. Every plan. All of it.”

His pensive gaze left her more than a little confused. “Peter, what are you saying? What about Jacquie?”

He rose and raked his fingers through his hair. “I care a great deal about her, of course. And I wouldn’t do anything to deliberately hurt her. It’s not in my heart to do so.”

“I—I see.”

“But Tessa, you must know this—since I left home last year I’ve thought of little else but you,” he said. “Every day I’ve prayed for your safety. When I think about Pa and how he treats you…” Peter shook his head, his jaw growing tense. “I had to find a way to get you out from under his thumb and into a better life. This is my attempt to do that.”

She tried to absorb the true meaning behind his words, to
make sense out of what he
wasn’t
saying. “What will you do when I’m gone? Will you go through with the marriage as you’ve planned?”

He paced the room, finally coming to a stop in front of her. “I am a man of my word. And I feel sure we can make this work for all of us. I do have feelings for her. She will make a wonderful wife. Truly, one I don’t deserve. I will earn her respect, I promise, and I have no doubt my feelings will grow with time. So, go to New York, Tessa. If you’re brave enough to start over, I mean. But don’t do it because of me. Do it in spite of me. Do it for yourself. If anyone deserves a fresh start, it’s you.”

“Oh, Peter.” Her heart flooded with love for him like she’d never known. She flung her arms around his neck, overwhelmed with gratitude.

“Give yourself the life you deserve,” he said. “The one free from ogres like Pa. Go and find happiness like you’ve never known before. Do it for me.”

She nodded, resolve now building. She would board the
Titanic
. Not so that her brother could have a better life…but so that she could.

Jacquie folded the note to her grandmother and slipped it into an envelope. She pressed it into her coat pocket then looked around her bedroom, overwhelmed with childhood memories. Today she would walk away from those memories, away from the safety and comfort of home. She would trade all of that for love. And though it pained her to think of leaving her parents behind, the life ahead of her would be worth every loss.

She prayed.

Or, rather, she didn’t pray. In fact, she hadn’t truly asked the Lord’s opinion on any of this, for fear He might actually give it. No, in cases such as these, one simply followed after one’s heart and hoped for the best possible outcome. Surely Father would forgive her in time. And Mother too, once she realized that Jacquie had betrayed her by not staying onboard the
Titanic
.

Betrayed her. Those words hung heavy in her heart.

“Jacquie, are you ready?” Mama’s voice sounded behind her.

Jacquie glanced her way and forced a smile. “Yes, Mother. I’m ready.”

“Your father is waiting downstairs in the foyer with Iris. Her bags are already loaded into the automobile.” Mother reached for her gloves. “Your father wanted to come with us to the train station. I had a doozy of a time convincing him to let us go alone. Made up a story about how it would be easier to say our good-byes privately rather than publicly.” She shook her head. “But I couldn’t very well let him tag along, especially since we’re not really going anywhere near the train station. At least, not this morning.”

“I’m so glad you managed to talk him out of it.”

“It took some doing.” Mother sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a bit queasy.”

“Deception will do that to you, I suppose.” Jacquie shrugged, feeling a bit nauseous as well. “But in the end, all will be well.”

“I do hope so.” Mother pulled on her gloves and adjusted the fingers. “To be honest, I do feel a little bad about the fact that your father actually purchased train tickets for us, but what else could we do?”

“Well, look on the bright side, Mother. You and Cousin Minerva will have a fine time in Paris.”

“True. She will make a wonderful shopping partner.”

“True. Minerva has always been one for shopping. And the four days you spend in Paris will buy us both the necessary time we need to make this work. You’re going to need time to work up the courage to tell Father where I’ve really gone.”
Or, rather, where you think I’ve gone.

“I’ve always loved April in Paris.” Her mother’s expression brightened. “And Minerva always brings me such comfort.”

“That’s what you need right now, Mother. Someone to bring you comfort.”

“Indeed, I do.” Mama’s eyes brimmed with tears. “You’re so right.”

From downstairs, Father’s voice rang out. “Ladies, are you coming? I need to leave for the office soon.”

Jacquie looked at her mother and sighed as she realized the moment had come at last. “I do hope my acting skills are up to par.”

“Mine as well.”

Jacquie walked down the stairs on Mama’s heels. The moment she laid eyes on her father, a lump rose in her throat, one she could scarcely speak above. In that moment she doubted everything— her plan to run away with Peter, her scheme to betray Mama’s confidence—all of it. And as her father wrapped her in his arms and whispered words of love over her, she wondered if she would ever experience his fatherly embrace again. Not likely, after he discovered that she had betrayed him.

“I—I love you, Father.”

“Well, I love you too, sweet girl.” Father touched the end of her nose with his index finger and grinned. “I’ve always got your best interests at heart. So go on to Paris and buy whatever you need.
But come back to see me soon. This big old house won’t be the same without the two of you in it.” He extended a hand to Jacquie’s mother and she took it, her cheeks flushed. Then he turned his attention to Iris, who stood near the door. “You will be missed as well, Iris. I hope you have a wonderful time. Jacquie tells me you are interested in fashion, so you should find Paris fascinating.”

“Yes, sir. And, thank you.” Her lashes grew damp and she swiped them away with the back of her hand.

“No need to get emotional, ladies.” Father chuckled. “It’s just a matter of days until we are together again.”

“True.” Mother looked his way and smiled. “I’ve no doubt you have plenty to keep you busy while we are away.”

“Yes, and Roland will be here often as we discuss the merger.” Father ran his fingers over his graying mustache and then smiled. “I’ve found him to be such an agreeable man. This new merger will serve us all well, I believe.”

Jacquie’s heart sailed to her throat as she thought about Roland. Over the past few weeks she had given plenty of thought to Mother’s reaction. And Father’s, of course. But she’d scarcely pondered Roland’s loss at all. Hopefully the man wouldn’t be too devastated.

They made their way outside and the chauffeur loaded Jacquie’s trunk, the one filled with her fine, new things. He also loaded Mother’s smaller bag, which she would carry on to Paris after leaving Southampton tomorrow morning.

Father shook his head as he offered the chauffer a hand. “It never ceases to amaze me how much luggage a woman carries with her. You would think you three ladies were going to be in Paris for months, not a few measly days.” His chuckle shared his thoughts on the matter.

“Oh, Father.” Jacquie tried to dismiss his concerns with a wave of a hand, but the trembling nearly gave away her nerves. “You know how we are.”

“Indeed I do.” He offered her a fatherly wink.

The chauffer opened the back door of the car, and Iris climbed inside as Mother clucked her tongue.

“Henry, shame on you. A lady has to look her best, especially in Paris. You know that. You wouldn’t want us to turn up looking like social outcasts. Of course not. We will not bring shame to the Abingdon name.”

“As if either of you could possibly bring shame to my name.” He pulled Jacquie into his arms and gave her a tender kiss on the cheek. “I will miss you while you’re gone. Bring me one of those silly little Eiffel tower statuettes, will you?”

Jacquie forced a laugh, but the sting of tears nearly stopped her. “I—I will.” Not that she was going anywhere near Paris, but perhaps Mother would buy one for him. Hopefully.

Surely one day Father would forgive her for all this. Mother would too. And Grandmother. She hoped. In the meantime, forging ahead was the only answer. Jacquie’s gaze darted to the gardens and beyond. She wondered what was happening in the cottage. Were Tessa and Peter already on their way to the dock as planned? Had the driver kept his word to remain silent? Would Tessa meet her at the gate at precisely 11:45 to trade places?”

With so many things rolling through her brain, she almost didn’t notice the familiar Rolls-Royce until it came to a stop behind them.

Roland emerged from the vehicle dressed in a dark gray business suit and looking quite dapper. He took several quick steps her way, and her heart fluttered into her throat.

“Roland? What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, my dear.” He grinned as he reached for her hand, which he gripped with fervor. “I know you’re only going to be gone a few days, but I had to stop by to say good-bye. I’m going to miss you.” He pressed a tiny kiss onto her cheek.

“Oh?” Heat rushed over her face. “I—I will miss you too.”

“Well, here’s a little something to remember me by.” He reached into his pocket and came out with a tiny box, which he opened.

“Oh, Roland!” The brilliant opal ring simply took her breath away. Exquisite diamonds framed the lovely stone. They caught the morning sunlight, radiating sparkle and shine.

Roland’s deep brown eyes shimmered with equal brightness as he held tight to the beautiful ring. “I should have given you this weeks ago when you agreed to be my bride. Will you forgive me for the delay? I ordered it from the jewelers ages ago, but it had to be shipped all the way from Australia.”

“Australia? Oh my.”

He slipped it onto her finger and then held up her hand to have a closer look. “Now every time you look at this, you can think of me and look forward to our union.”

“I—I will.” A lump rose in her throat as she fingered the exquisite ring. How he had managed such a perfect fit, she could not say. Still, the ring felt as comfortable on her hand as if it had always been there. And to think, he had ordered it ages ago.

“Could I have something of yours to keep while you’re in Paris?” Roland asked.

“Something of mine?” She opened her reticule and searched inside, finally coming out with an embroidered handkerchief. “Will this do?”

“Yes.” He drew it to his face, a contented look in his eyes. “It smells of your perfume, so I will feel like you’re still with me even though we’re apart.”