Authors: Linda Kavanagh
He said nothing more, and Laura could feel tears stinging her eyes. He didn’t believe her. But he was allowing her to save face, and that made her feel even worse.
They stared at each other, Darren unsure what to say next and Laura almost daring him to say anything else.
His brown eyes clouded with concern as he crossed the room and silently took her in his arms. His kindness and support was Laura’s undoing. The floodgates opened and she wept, her tears soaking the shoulder of his jacket.
‘Was the door’s name Jeff?’ Darren whispered.
Laura was about to shake her head, but then she realised it was pointless. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain that a door couldn’t have inflicted an injury like that, and her tearful demeanour wasn’t helping either. She was finding it hard to pretend that everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t.
‘It was an accident,’ Laura told him.
‘Yeah, they’re always accidents,’ Darren added dryly. ‘Is there anything I can do? I think you should go home – you’re in no state to give lectures today. In fact, you shouldn’t have come in at all.’
Laura shuddered at the thought of going home. That was where it had happened. And even though Jeff wouldn’t be there, just being in the apartment would make her jumpy and insecure.
Darren rubbed her back affectionately. ‘Look, I’ll get Maria or Timmy to take over your lecture this afternoon. In fact, they or I can take over your lectures for the rest of the week.’
‘No, honestly –’
‘That’s an order, Thornton – sorry, Jones – and it’s not negotiable.’ He suddenly grinned. ‘It’s occasions like this that make me love being the boss!’
Laura couldn’t help smiling back through her tears. Darren was such a sweet guy, and always so kind to her.
Then his face darkened. ‘If you don’t want to go home, I can give you the keys to my place,’ he said. ‘You can stay there as long as you need to –’
Vehemently, Laura shook her head. ‘I’m okay. Thanks, Darren – I’ll go home.’
Darren released her from his embrace and stood back, looking at her sadly. ‘Are you sure that’s wise? Maybe a break for a few days would be a good idea.’
Laura shuddered. She could only imagine Jeff’s reaction if she told him she was staying in another man’s apartment.
‘No, it’ll be fine.’
Darren studied her injured face. ‘Have you seen a doctor? Just in case you’ve broken your cheekbone. Or I can drive you to the hospital –’
‘No, no. Thanks, Darren,’ Laura said firmly. ‘I’ll take your advice and leave the lecturing to you, Maria or Timmy. But I’ll stay on here and get the students’ essays corrected –’
‘Don’t even think of it, Laura. You need to rest, and give yourself a chance to heal.’
Laura nodded, overwhelmed by his kindness. ‘All right. Thanks, Darren – I’m really grateful. But I’m going to insist on taking the essays with me.’
‘Okay, but take it easy for as long as you like,’ Darren said gently. ‘I don’t want you back here until you feel fit and well again. And if there’s anything I can do – just pick up the phone. You know I’m always here for you.’
Nodding, Laura turned away. Darren’s kindness had brought
tears to her eyes once again. It was good to know that somebody cared, because she felt terribly alone and vulnerable.
‘Laura –’
She stopped in her tracks, but didn’t turn back to face him, knowing what was coming.
‘You don’t have to stay with him just because you’re pregnant,’ Darren said softly.
Laura didn’t answer, because she didn’t know what to say.
T
he following week, Laura returned to the university. Although her cheek was healing, she still felt overwhelmed by sadness. She’d done as much as she could to help Jeff cope with his demons, but she seemed powerless to lessen his pain. Even when he’d been rude and offensive, she’d bitten her tongue, hoping that by refusing to react, he’d calm down and realise that she wasn’t his enemy. Jeff had a gigantic chip on his shoulder, and it seemed to be getting bigger. Blithely, she’d believed that marriage would give him the security he craved – and which she craved too – but nothing seemed to pacify the monster within him.
She was also becoming frightened by his sexual demands – what she’d initially believed to be passion had degenerated into a form of violence. But she was too embarrassed to discuss his demands with anyone else. Not only did it seem like a betrayal, but also her own pride was preventing her from admitting that her marriage was less than perfect.
She was also deeply worried by what Kerry had told her. Her friend seemed convinced that Jeff was involved in some kind of criminal activity because she’d seen him with a drug-dealer. But Jeff hated drugs – he’d already made that very clear to her, so he couldn’t possibly be involved in selling them. She preferred to believe that his bad humour resulted from the precarious and dangerous situations in which he had to work.
On one occasion he’d come home in a temper and, despite her efforts to cheer him up, he’d turned on her once again. ‘What do you know about problems?’ he’d sneered. ‘You haven’t got a clue!’
‘Well, that’s because you won’t tell me anything!’ she’d retorted, angry that he could negate her own suffering so off-handedly. She’d lost her entire family, yet he treated that monumental event as though it counted for nothing.
‘You know I can’t tell you!’ he’d roared, lashing out again with his hand, catching her across the cheek with his wedding ring. As she reeled from the blow, she had felt wet on her cheek, and her fingers had found blood as she touched the broken skin. The gash from his previous attack had split open again.
Storming out of the room, Jeff had slammed the door and retreated to the TV room.
Laura’s eyes filled with tears. Was it always going to be like this? She was carrying his baby, yet even that didn’t seem to affect his attitude to her. Why wasn’t she one of those lucky women whose husbands cherished them during their pregnancies? Her heart was breaking, but still she wasn’t prepared to give up on Jeff. If only she could break through the wall of pain that surrounded him, she felt sure that all would be well.
Later, he’d grudgingly apologised, although he hadn’t attempted to examine her injury, or offer any help. Laura had said nothing when he’d mumbled his apology. There didn’t seem to be anything worth saying.
Later that night in bed, he’d turned to her, and she’d hoped their coupling would bring them emotionally closer, and help to heal some of the damage that Jeff’s temper was doing to their relationship. But he’d taken her in anger again, not heeding her cries of pain. It was as though her confusion and pain turned him on, or satisfied some terrible need deep within him.
When she’d screamed and begged him to stop, he’d held her down, ignoring her protests.
‘Shut up! Don’t think I won’t kill you, too!’ he’d muttered, as he continued to thrust violently into her.
Despite the pain, Laura’s mind was buzzing. What did he mean by ‘too’? Had he killed someone before? She didn’t dare raise the issue with him – she was too terrified. She was seeing a side of Jeff that she didn’t know at all. Kerry had tried to warn her but, as usual, she’d been stubborn and wouldn’t listen. Could Kerry be right?
Afterwards, as she lay beside her husband while he slept, wide-awake and unable to sleep, she had rationalised it away as something he’d simply said in anger, on the spur of the moment. Nevertheless, his threat didn’t augur well for their future. She wondered what demons were chasing him, and whether he could run fast enough to get away from them.
A tear rolled down her injured cheek, and she wiped it away as gently as she could. Then she touched her belly, as though to assure the little baby within that she’d look after it, no matter what the future held.
W
hen Ellie experienced the first few contractions, she wasn’t unduly worried. She’d read all the books and faithfully attended her antenatal classes, so she knew these were probably Braxton Hicks contractions – the ones that sometimes happened in the weeks preceding the actual delivery. It was as though the womb was in training for the big event, and was flexing itself in preparation. Besides, she wasn’t due for another two weeks, and it couldn’t happen now anyway, because Alan was away, and he’d promised to spend as much time as he could with her during her labour. He was planning on telling his PA, and anyone else who needed to know, that he’d be attending important meetings all that day. Since the midwife wouldn’t be needed for most of her labour, Ellie was looking forward to long periods in Alan’s company while she waited for their baby to be born.
She hadn’t slept very well the night before, probably due to the thunderstorm that had raged outside. But now all was calm, and it was a bright summer’s day again, although some of the trees in the garden had been divested of branches and the ground outside was strewn with debris.
‘Ow!’
A jolt of alarm shot through her as a really severe contraction rendered her breathless. Fifteen minutes later, it was followed by another one just as strong, and Ellie wondered if it was time to phone the midwife.
Making her way to the phone in the kitchen, she looked in vain for the address book where she’d written the midwife’s number. Dammit! She now remembered that she’d taken it upstairs the night before, and left it on her bedside table beside the telephone extension. How could she have been so stupid as to leave it there at such a critical time?
She began crawling up the stairs on her hands and knees, pausing to puff after every few steps because the pains were becoming more regular and severe. Ellie experienced a wave of panic. If she went into labour upstairs, how would the midwife manage to get through the locked front door?
Crawling back down again, Ellie sat on the bottom step. When another strong contraction gripped her, she knew she had to get help urgently. But there was no one she could phone and ask to go upstairs on her behalf, because she had no friends. She’d given up everything to be Alan’s secret wife, and now she feared that she and her baby might suffer because no one was on hand to help her. Why on earth did Alan have to be abroad just when she desperately needed him?
Resolutely, Ellie stood up and staggered towards the phone in the kitchen. She’d ring directory enquiries and ask them to locate the midwife’s number. As a last resort, she could ring for an ambulance, but she was still intending to give birth at home. She was determined to out-do Alan’s wife by giving birth without any medical intervention.
Leaning against the kitchen cupboards, Ellie picked up the receiver and began to dial. But there was no sound from the phone at all. Not even a dial tone. Puzzled, Ellie looked at the receiver, then shook it. Why wasn’t it working? What was wrong? Then it hit her like a ton of bricks – the heavy storm the night before must have caused a local cable to come down. Now she had no way of contacting anyone. She was all alone and about to give birth, and she was terrified.
She cursed the isolation of her house – its private and tranquil setting meant that no one was likely to hear her, even if she screamed at the top of her voice. There was only one thing she could do – she’d have to make her way down the driveway and out onto the road, where hopefully she could flag down a passing motorist or pedestrian.
Leaving the house, Ellie made her way gingerly down the driveway through the fallen branches, stopping every few minutes as another contraction gripped her. Never had her driveway seemed so long, or help so far away …
She sighed with relief as the gate and the road came into view. All she needed was for a kind Samaritan to come back to the house, locate the address book and then phone the midwife from a working phone.
She gasped as another contraction winded her. These were no Braxton Hicks contractions – these were the real deal. Panic set in as she contemplated having her baby by the side of the road.
As she faced the oncoming traffic, Ellie wondered how she was supposed to attract attention. Should she stick out her thumb like a hitchhiker? A few drivers looked at her curiously but drove on, and Ellie concluded that she wasn’t far enough out on the road to get their attention. She must look a sight – eight and a half months pregnant and flailing her arms by the side of a very busy road. Maybe people assumed she was a madwoman, and best avoided. Yet if she stepped out any further, she risked being struck by the cars speeding by.
Ellie was crying quietly in desperation when a large car drove by, then slowed and pulled in a few hundred yards further down the road. The driver’s door opened and Ellie’s heart plummeted as Sylvia Thornton climbed out and hurried back to where Ellie was standing, her own pregnancy now clearly evident.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked, a concerned look on her face. Ellie quickly explained the situation, relieved to have help, but wishing it could be anyone but Alan’s wife.
‘Let’s get you back to your house, then I’ll drive home and ring your midwife from there,’ Sylvia said briskly. ‘Here, lean on me – I can see you’re having a contraction. How far are they apart?’
Ellie explained how increasingly close they’d become, gratefully clutching Sylvia’s arm as they made their way slowly back up the driveway of Treetops.
As they reached the front door, Ellie experienced a sudden jolt of fear. There would be evidence of Alan’s presence all over the house! Since there had never been any need for him to hide his belongings, his shaving kit and aftershave were in the en-suite bathroom, his dressing gown was hanging on the back of the bedroom door! But there was no time for any further reflections as another contraction seized her just as she was opening the front door.