2-Bound By Law (7 page)

“That and my boots,” Law said, reminding Paulo of the fantasy the younger man told him on their first date, a fantasy he’d had in the months leading up to actually meeting Law at Crave. And that made Paulo smile a little, letting it tug the corner of his mouth up.

“Is that why you wore them tonight?” Paulo asked, glanced over to the corner where Law had shed them before he’d come at Paulo like a tornado.

“I’ll do anything that turns you on.”

Paulo shook his head as he considered that. After a few long moments, he started to talk about the story Styx had alluded to. “My father’s an ex-New York City cop—he was jailed on a corruption charge about ten years ago. It was a big deal—hit all the national papers. He was abusing prisoners. He and his partner went too far and they couldn’t cover it up. The hospital got suspicious and they were brought up on charges. My father’s defense was that the guy was gay—that he propositioned them…they said the prisoner abused himself in order to frame the cops.”

“Did he know you’re gay?”

“He knew. Keeping it a secret from my family was never an option for me. It would be like cutting off an arm and trying to live. I never came out at work—I understood the dangers inherent in that. But my father was disgusted. He said,
everyone’s going to know by looking at you
.”

“Yeah, the scarlet G you have burned onto your forehead,” Law muttered.

“I was on the force maybe eight months when it broke. I had to get the hell out of there before he was convicted, even though his lawyers tried to persuade me to stay through the trial. I was getting death threats. People thought I was like him. They figured, like father, like son…a bigoted bastard.” Paulo shook his head. “It’s the ultimate irony.”

“I’m sorry, Paulo.”

“I started moving around, precinct to precinct. Someone always brings it up eventually. Then it spreads through the department and people figure I’m just like him. Even my sergeants get suspicious. How the fuck am I supposed to work like that?” Paulo’s eyes were hot with anger. “It’s gotten so bad, I’m going to have to go private. I planned on it after this stint in North Carolina.”

Law nodded. “Do you talk to your father at all?”

“No. He’s out now—did six years because he pleaded to a lesser charge. I don’t talk to anyone in my family. They’re pissed at me for leaving the city, for being gay…it’s easier to be on my own.”

“Sounds lonely.”

“Nothing’s perfect.”

Law thought about Paulo drifting from place to place, never forming any ties. Always worried his past would come out. “You deserve better.”

Paulo kicked out from the sheets and sat up, his back to Law. He stayed there a long time and then he finally said, “I know what I deserve and what I want. But what do you see in me? Besides the tattoos.”

Goddamn, Law loved those. His dick hardened just at the mention, which made him stare again at Paulo’s back and arms, and he got up and sat next to Paulo. “You make me nervous. That hasn’t happened in forever. The only other person I’ve ever said that to was Styx.”

He guessed that Greg had been wrong—lightning did indeed strike twice. Now, Law just needed to figure out what to do with it.

“Control’s all I ever had,” Law continued. “Giving it up in any situation—including during sex—is hard for me.”

“Did you lose it with me?”

“You couldn’t tell?” Law asked softly. “Jesus, Paulo, I don’t go on dates…or spend the night. I’m all about anonymous sex, no strings, no talk of personal life. And with you, I couldn’t keep that shield up. Couldn’t not see you, and for a while, I hated you because I wanted you. And then I couldn’t stay away.”

Law’s confession made Paulo’s chest ache, especially when he thought about how close he’d come to putting in his resignation at the precinct. It was written, printed out, sitting on his desk, and every day Paulo would pick it up, think about folding it up into the envelope sitting next to it and bringing it into the precinct with him.

The only thing he knew for sure was that his next move wouldn’t be to another precinct. No it would be to something he could do on his own—PI or bounty hunting or bail bonding…anything where he couldn’t be found out by a group of coworkers.

But staying close to Law—without him—would be too hard.

“What’re you thinking?”

“I thought I’d lost you…in the restaurant, when I heard the shot…” Paulo trailed off and Law buried his head against his shoulder.

“Me too. Fuck.”

“Bastard,” Paulo blurted out. “I was worried, and you were getting off.”

Law didn’t deny it, and Paulo figured that his honesty in this case could only help things.

“So, is this stuff with Styx going to be about exorcizing your ghosts?” Paulo asked.

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s about beginnings.” Law paused. “The Law/LC thing—for a long time, I couldn’t think of myself as Law. The memories it brought back, not just of Styx, but of Damon…what happened to him when we were younger.”

Paulo knew. A few months earlier, Law had been hurt by an attacker outside Crave who turned out to be someone from Damon and Law’s past, the man responsible for Damon’s gang rape at eighteen.

Law had already told him he felt completely responsible for what had happened, reiterated it now. “If I’d gone out with Damon…”

“Are you ever going to realize you can’t blame yourself for that? For anything that happened that night, especially Styx leaving?” Paulo shifted. “Why he did, that’s his thing. He did it to protect you.”

“Now you’re on his side?”

Law looked angry, but fuck it. Paulo was more so—he simply hid it better. “I’m on your side, Law. I’ve always been. And you’ve never been anything but completely honest with me. I’m not going to be the one who holds you back from Styx. You’d never forgive me for that—and I’d never have a shot in hell.”

“You’re not holding me back—I can make my own decisions. I’m in here with you, right?”

“We weren’t alone in here tonight. We’re still not. And the weird part is…I can understand. You alone…you rocked me, and I never thought that would happen. But you with Styx…”

Law smiled because he understood. “He’s something. Hard to resist. Always was.”

“You shouldn’t be. The bond between you—it’s physical, but it’s the way he treats you. He still goddamn loves you. Maybe that’s what makes it easier for me to defend him to you. I want to hate him, but I can’t.”

Law didn’t bother arguing with anything he said. “I think he feels the same way about you.”

“He thinks I’m an asshole.”

“He said you needed a spanking. I’m inclined to agree with him that you’re overdue,” Law said. For the first time since this started, Paulo felt cornered, and his dick told him he liked it.

“I thought you weren’t into all that BDSM shit,” Paulo said, well aware his voice sounded raw.

Law noticed. “Some of it’s useful. I’ve picked up some stuff living with a Dom all these years.”

Paulo wasn’t ready for this—for any of it—and he drew in a deep breath when the dizziness started. Was he having a panic attack?

He vaguely heard Law telling him to fucking breathe, was aware that Styx was there too, pushing his head between his legs until he felt better. Murmuring against his ear to just breathe, and even though he hadn’t known Styx long at all, he’d already come to associate the smell of peppermint with him. He stayed there for a while, with both men’s hands on his back and neck, rubbing, encouraging. He felt the drag of a wet washcloth on his skin, remembered he was still naked, elbows on his knees, head hanging and his dick half hard despite his nearly passing out.

Law and Styx sat so close to him, and he let that comfort him…which it strangely did. He could tell their touches apart, even though both men were gentle.

When he finally sat up straight, he felt like a fucking wimpy asshole, but neither man looked at him like that.

“I’m okay. Thanks.” He looked at Law and then Styx and realized that both were still touching him, Law with a hand on his thigh and Styx with the washcloth on the back of his neck.

Styx’s eyes traveled over his body and Paulo felt the blush rise in his cheeks. Hoped it was hidden by the flush covering his body from the goddamned panic attack. And when he met Styx’s eyes, he saw approval there…and he didn’t know why that was so fucking important, but it was.

“When’s the last time you ate?” Styx asked.

“I didn’t.” Paulo remembered the wine and a few appetizers at the restaurant and no lunch before that.

“I’ll go get him something.” Styx stood and handed Law a gun he took out of the back of his jeans. “Do you remember how to use that?”

“Fuck you,” Law told him, took the gun and watched Styx leave before turning back to Paulo. “I didn’t mean to push you.”

“Yeah, you did.” Paulo sank back into the bed. “And I never said I didn’t like it.”

Law didn’t know what to say to that, to anything that was happening, and so he pulled the covers up over Paulo’s naked body. He didn’t understand the electric current running between the three of them, chalked it up to danger and stress—because fucking was another form of adrenaline rush relief.

But there was something more there he wasn’t ready to unravel. Not tonight, anyway. “Sleep, man.”

Paulo nodded, muttered, “Don’t think I’ll be able to,” and then passed out as the last word was spoken. That made Law smile, and he rubbed the back of Paulo’s neck for a few minutes, watching him sleep.

About ten minutes later, Styx came in quietly, put the fast food bags on the table. “It’s the only thing open and close by.”

“He’s asleep.”

Styx looked over at Paulo, peacefully curled in the blankets. “You should wake him—make him eat something. We can’t risk him getting sick.”

“I told him…about you.”

Styx’s jaw clenched, and he nodded. “I suppose you had no choice.”

“That’s about the only thing I have no choice in.”

“Not going there right now.”

“Did you like what you saw?”

“Yeah, I did,” Styx shot back. “I didn’t hear either of you ask me to leave.”

That was true. Knowing Styx was there, witnessing everything, made the entire experience off the charts when Law should’ve been pissed as hell.

“I was a part of it, whether I was there or not,” Styx added.

“That’s basically what Paulo said.” Law sat at the small table and Styx passed him a burger and fries before taking his own and sitting across from him. For a while, they ate in silence, taking in the enormity of all the situations.

Finally, Law crumpled the paper from his burger and looked at Styx. “Any action outside?”

“All quiet.”

“That’s good.” He paused. “Can I ask you something?”

Styx just nodded with a world-weary look on his face that brought Law back to the first weeks they’d known each other—it was Styx’s universal look for, “You can ask and I’m sure it’s going to bug the shit out of me.”

Law didn’t care. “What’s your real name?”

His former lover’s face hardened and when he spoke, it was with an uncouched fierceness. “It’s Styx. That’s the one I chose—the only one I answer to.”

Law accepted that because a piece of paper with a name on it was just that. The fact that Styx had been forced back into that violence turned his stomach, so badly that he needed an outlet for the pain and anger.

How anyone could fuck up their kids so badly… Shit, why bother having them at all?

He knew Styx was good at his job with the CIA—knew what he’d been trained to do. Law, as a Delta, had learned to kill quickly and efficiently when necessary. The world of Special Ops and the alphabet agencies that surrounded them was full of men with murky pasts, shady presents and uncertain futures. Sometimes, it was too easy to fall into the trap of thinking you were the job.

Had that happened to Styx? He appeared the same—he’d always been serious and sarcastic but had always been able to drag Law out of his shell.

“When your father was in prison, did you ever see him or talk to him?”

Styx shook his head. “I knew what I needed to. He wouldn’t have given a reason why because it was what he did…who he was. The fact that I didn’t turn out exactly like him… Well, there wouldn’t have been any love if I had.”

That was true but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“I wish I could’ve been there for you. I wanted to.”

“I didn’t want you involved in that. I still don’t.”

“Case you haven’t noticed, I’m a big boy.”

Styx didn’t relent. “I don’t care—and this is my decision.”

So how could any kind of relationship grow under these circumstances? How had they?

Because they’d been young…clinging to each other.

But Law hadn’t been waiting for Styx for nothing…no, the man was the same underneath it all, and probably a lot more like Paulo than either man cared to admit, and that intrigued Law a hell of a lot.

Styx stood then. “I’ll let you grab some shut-eye.”

Both Law and Styx glanced over at Paulo, who was still out like a light.

“Sleeps like a baby.”

Law cocked a brow. “The only time I’d compare him to one. Otherwise…”

Styx let his eyes linger on the younger man. “Does he heal you?”

“He’s trying,” Law admitted as Styx turned his gaze back to him. “I was already halfway there with you.”

Chapter Five

Sleep had always been a joke, but there had been next to none for Styx that night. He’d left Law and Paulo’s room with Law’s words still echoing in his brain, closed the door between the rooms and jerked off in the shower quickly, the threat of danger never really leaving his mind.

He had no doubt the two men realized their lives were in jeopardy, but the complete and utter horror of the entire situation hadn’t hit home for them yet.

Styx had no doubt his father—or his father’s henchmen—had already ripped through Law’s apartment and Paulo’s as well. Their lives would never be the same unless he could eradicate his father and the group of men who worked under him.

Thus far, that had proved to be impossible. And so he remained on the bed, alone, coming up with several plans to present to Tomcat, because this could go so many different ways.