2 To Light A Candle.13 (76 page)

"No!" Kellen burst out, feeling a jolt of warning course through him.

Everyone stopped and looked at him.

"Will you speak, Knight-Mage?" Redhelwar said courteously. But this time Kellen sensed impatience and reluctance as well. This time, Redhelwar did not wish to hear him.

Redhelwar meant to split the army into thirds, and send Vestakia into the nearer cavern with the attack force. It wasn't the splitting of the army that disturbed Kellen, because they couldn't get the full force of the army into the caverns anyway. Having to do without Jermayan and Ancaladar was a blow, but the dragon would be useful outside, and it wasn't impossible that they'd manage to find him a back door once they were inside.

Intuition had struck with the force of a blow. It still wasn't clear to Kellen what they should do, but suddenly what they must not do was completely clear to him.

If Redhelwar sent his forces down into that cavern without scouting ahead, there would be a disaster.

"Redhelwar, hear me. You asked my counsel, and now I give it. Wait. Guard the city, guard the entrance to the other cavern, yes. But send Idalia and me into the nearer cavern before you send the army in. She can map it. I can protect her. If we can find the village at the cavern's heart, we won't need Vestakia when we invade. She can come in afterward to check that the cavern is clear, and we will protect our most valuable asset."

"What speaks to me, Knight-Mage," Redhelwar asked, his voice cool and expressionless. "Your head… or your heart?"

"Neither," Kellen answered, honestly confused. He was sure that by now he'd offended everyone here, and he only hoped that truth could make up for that. "The Wild Magic speaks, Redhelwar, and only the Wild Magic. Send me alone if you wish—I am not as good at maps as Idalia, but—"

Adaerion leaned over to speak into Redhelwar's ear, saying something too low for Kellen to hear.

"You say this now, Knight-Mage, yet you did not say it when I asked for your counsel," Redhelwar said, his voice still neutral.

Kellen struggled to put what was only a feeling into words, knowing that he must convince Redhelwar, Adaerion—everyone here. How had the Knight-Mage of the past ever managed it?

"I was listening, Army's General," he said. "To… what comes." He looked past Redhelwar, and his eye fell on a xaqiue board, set up and ready for play. Ready for play—but as yet, no moves had been made on the board.

He got to his feet and walked over to the board.

"Redhelwar," he said, "tell me how this game will play out."

The Elven general looked at the board. "No one can say, Kellen. None of the pieces has yet been moved, nor do I know who the players are."

"Yet if I were to move a piece, you could begin to say," Kellen said.

"Yes," Redhelwar said. "And were you to be my opponent, I could also say who would win."

"At xaqiue, this is indeed true." Kellen agreed. "I am a poor player. But the game is a fine teacher. Tell me you wish to guard Ysterialpoerin, to seal the far cavern with troops… I see no opening for Their victory. Tell me you mean to send your troops down into unmapped, unscouted caverns… and the Wild Magic shows me an opening They can exploit."

"But no more," Redhelwar said.

"Not yet," Kellen said, wishing to shout at them, But it shows me that. And you have to listen!But he did not dare; did not dare offend them, not when they had only just begun to take him seriously.

"Discussion," Redhelwar said to his commanders.

"While we wait for Kellen and Idalia to return—or not—from the caverns, the Shadowed Elves could launch a second attack at Ysterialpoerin. The first force evaded our scouts and our sentries. Perhaps a second one would as well. Then Ysterialpoerin would burn because we had not attacked the Shadowed Elves immediately," Ninolion said.

"If the caverns can be mapped, so that we can attack without risking Ves-takia in the forefront of an attack, it is the more prudent course," Adaerion said.

"But perhaps it is a feint within a feint; perhaps they wish us to commit our strength to the cavern and leave Vestakia at the camp. Then while we are engaged in the caverns, they will attack the camp and take her there," Arambor suggested.

"Having somehow moved sufficient strength to do so out of either of the caverns directly beneath our regard," Adaerion noted dryly.

Redhelwar raised a hand, stopping what promised to become a long, drawn-out byplay.

"Whether Vestakia goes or not," Padredor said slowly, "whether the Shadowed Elves attack us or not, it would be good to know how the caverns lie before we are in them. It seems to me that they worked very hard to turn us from reaching them—and now that we are here, it seems that they wish to distract us from entering them. To discover the reason for that would be a thing worth knowing, I believe."

Around the pavilion it went, with each of the commanders giving his opinion—let Kellen go, attack at once, find another plan entirely.

"Dionan, you have not shared your thoughts," Redhelwar said, when everyone else had spoken.

"We cannot attack the caverns tomorrow, not if all the armies of Great Queen Vielissiar Farcarinon, their dragons, and their flying horses, were here to aid us," Dionan said simply. "We must place three armies into position—one of them around Ysterialpoerin—and establish them against the weather, which grows no more clement. The day after tomorrow, if Leaf and Star favor us, is the earliest we can descend against the Shadowed Elves. Therefore, my counsel is this: let Kellen move his piece in the game. When he returns, and can tell us more of the enemy's mind and disposition, we shall be ready as well."

There was a silence after everyone had spoken. Kellen could almost feel Redhelwar weighing the possibilities—the opinions of his commanders, the condition of his army, the situation at Ysterialpoerin…

And more.

Sending Kellen to scout the caverns would change the balance of power in the Elven army. Kellen couldn't quite grasp it—not in a way he could put into words—but he could feel it, the way he'd learned to feel changes in the weather.

And Redhelwar knew it, and was deciding whether that was worth the risk, as well as all the rest.

At last he spoke, turning to look directly into Kellen's eyes.

"I have heard the counsel of my komentaüa, Kellen Knight-Mage, now here is my word to you," Redhelwar said. "I will not risk your life and that of Idalia Wildmage for so little gain. But neither will I risk Vestakia's, when experience has shown us that our Tainted cousins will attack in force the moment we advance into their lairs. She will remain here, safe, while they expend their strength against us. Now go to your rest. There is much to do on the morrow to prepare for our assault."

Kellen stood for a moment, stunned, as Redhelwar's words sank in. He'd told Redhelwar that a simple assault on the cavern without advance scouting would be a complete disaster.

And Redhelwar hadn't listened.

At last he managed to bow. "I thank the General for his wisdom. I go," Kellen said.

He made his way through the camp by instinct alone, still feeling as if he'd been struck. Redhelwar hadn't listened.

This was his fault. When Belepheriel had provoked him, he should have ignored it. But no. His Knight-Mage instincts told him he had been right to do what he had done; to remind them all of what he was. Belepheriel's would have been the loudest voice in favor of a direct assault; he was certain of that.

But Belepheriel hadn't been there. And the plan was going forward anyway.

I saved Ysterialpoerin for them tonight. They know that. And this is how they reward me? Kellen thought bitterly.

But that wasn't the right way to think either. He'd saved Ysterialpoerin, yes. But not in order to be paid for it, as if—as if he were a High Mage of Armethalieh!

Kellen took a deep breath, willing anger and hurt pride away. What mattered was the problem at hand, and he needed time to consider how best to deal with it. There would be answers in his Books, of that he was certain.

His steps had taken him back to his home tents. It was still early enough that several of his people were gathered around the communal brazier. With a pang of relief, he saw that Ciltesse was there, and Isinwen had returned from the forest. They got to their feet as he approached.

"I share your sorrow at Mindaerel's death," Ciltesse said, bowing. "Many destriers in the horse-lines go without riders now. By your leave and Adaerion's, I shall select another to share your life."

"That… makes good hearing," Kellen said slowly, forcing himself to concentrate on more homely and immediate problems. "You will know what I need better than I do myself, Ciltesse. Mindaerel… I don't…"

"We will handle matters at first light, alakomentai," Isinwen said. "There is a way such things are done in Ysterialpoerin." He smiled slightly, at the small jest they both shared.

For a moment Kellen had a wild vision of the Elves hoisting Mindaerel into a tree, and shook his head sharply, banishing the freakish fancy. However they handled things in Ysterialpoerin, he was sure it wasn't that. He nodded.

"That makes good hearing. She died a warrior. And I would know now, Ciltesse, if it pleases you to say, how fare those who did not ride with me tonight." Blunt words, and a flat-out demand by Elven terms, but he hoped Ciltesse would forgive him.

"All live, by the grace of Leaf and Star," Ciltesse said, looking pleased. "And there were only the most minor of injuries, and none from the Blight-cursed arrows of the Shadowed Elves. All have been seen by the Healers, and are at their rest."

"And so I will go to mine, and encourage you to go to yours. Tomorrow Red-helwar disposes the army for the attack upon the nearer cavern, and there will be much to do."

The Wisdom of Betrayal

KELLEN ENTERED HIS tent, buttoned the flap closed, and called fire into the brazier and the lantern. He opened the small pack he kept always with him—it was the same pack he'd been given in Armethalieh on the day of his Banishing—and drew out his three Books. Perhaps they would grant him wisdom. He still wasn't quite sure why Redhelwar had refused to allow the second scouting expedition—surely he knew that Kellen's life wasn't at risk, and he could have agreed to let Kellen go without Idalia if he were really worried about her safety. Perhaps it was because it just "wasn't the way things have always been done," or perhaps Redhelwar saw the consequences of the cusp-point that Kellen had only sensed, and feared them.

He didn't know. And it didn't matter now.

He ran his hands over the worn leather covers. Which one would serve him best tonight? Without hesitation, he opened The Book of Stars at random and began to read.

"A Wildmage's honor is not what honor may seem in the eyes of the world. The honor of a Wildmage lies in always paying the price of the Wild Magic, no matter what that price may be, and no matter what path the price may unfold. The world's honor takes many paths and many forms, but to the Wildmage, there is only one path and one form, and so it must ever be"

Kellen closed The Book of Stars and stared unseeingly into the lantern's flame. He couldn't remember seeing that passage there before, but in a way he'd suspected its existence ever since he'd begun to be a Knight-Mage.

He knew Redhelwar's plan of attack. Redhelwar wasn't going to change it. If Redhelwar followed it, there would be disaster.

Kellen knew it. The Wild Magic had told him so.

Do what Redhelwar had ordered him to do? Or do what was right?

They won't be ready to attack for at least a day and a half. Dionan said so. A full day at least to make ready, and Redhelwar will want to go at midday, when he judges the Shadowed Elves to be weakest, so he might even hold off another full day rather than attack late in the day.

Time enough for me to reach the nearer cavern and see what's there—and get back again. Even if I have to go on foot.

The realization of what he was contemplating shook Kellen. He was a member of the Elven army now—an alakomentai. If he disobeyed orders—if he just left—it would be a serious thing. He had no idea how serious—he suspected he'd lose his command at the very least. He would have betrayed everyone who'd trusted him—Adaerion, Ciltesse, Isinwen… he could sit here until dawn naming names and not be done with the list. And everything he'd done toward convincing everyone that they should listen to him as a Knight-Mage and not just tolerate him as Idalia's younger brother who happened to be good with a sword would be gone.

It isn't worth it, Kellen thought wildly. I can't throw all that away! If he lost his position in the army, if the Elves went on doing things as they always had—fighting the last war and expecting their enemy to do the same—they'd lose. Shadow Mountain would win. Wouldn't the greater good—the long-term good—be just to sit here and let Redhelwar do as he pleased, no matter what consequences Kellen foresaw?

But suddenly Belepheriel's words came back to him.

"Yet it would be good to know how the Knight-Mage knew to ride after these Shadowed Elves. Or how it is that he so often gives warning—and never soon enough to prevent losses"

This time Kellen had a warning that had come in plenty of time to prevent all losses. How could he even think of disregarding it for what—when you came right down to it—would be personal gain?

"AWildmage's honor is not what honor may seem in the eyes of the world .. ."

Always pay the price. Because to refuse to pay it, as he'd learned when Jer-mayan had begun to teach him about the Great War, would ultimately lead a Wildmage into the service of the Demons.

He'd been given a gift by the Wild Magic: a warning that would save hundreds—thousands—of lives. The price of that gift was personal disgrace.

He would pay it.

Kellen bowed his head over The Book of Stars, trembling as he thought of how close he'd just come to doing something horrible. Better his friends should be alive to hate him than that they should be dead still thinking well of him. He would know he'd done the right thing, no matter what they thought.

For the first time tonight he felt light and free. He saw his path clearly. Get to the caverns. See what the Wild Magic wanted him to see. Get back and tell someone—Shalkan, Ancaladar, and Jermayan, if no one else would listen to him. Then let Redhelwar do with him as he chose.