27 Truths: Ava's story (The Truth About Love Book 1) (8 page)

“Yeah, of course. Just tired and—”

“Drunk.” Riley laughs.

I hold my hand up with my thumb and forefinger slightly apart. “Maybe just a little.”

“Luke, can you walk Ava—”

“No!” I gasp, and they all look at me. I force a smile. “I am seriously fine.”

“Come on, Ava,” Luke says from the doorway.

My body heats instantaneously. Unwelcome desire and all of those feelings that are called forth when he says my name, regardless of the tone he uses, flood every cell in my body.

I swallow back the thickness in my throat and roll my eyes. “Fine, but it’s unnecessary.”

I walk to the table to grab my coat off the back of the chair, but Jackson has it in his hands already, holding it up.

I put my arms through my sleeves. “Oh, so you’re the ladies’ man in the family?” Jackson is by far the quietest of the crew.

“Learning everything I know from my big brother.”

I laugh rather loudly then quickly cover my mouth.

Their father Ryan laughs and shakes his head. “You better catch up, then, young buck. Your brother’s been around the world, haven’t you, son?”

“You ready?” Luke asks as he gives a quick nod to Ryan, seeming almost annoyed.

I throw my hand up and wave. “Good night, everyone.”

“You’re home for a couple weeks, right?” Jade calls from the kitchen.

“Yep,” I say, pushing my feet into my boots, the ones Mom gave me, and then I walk out into the garage as Luke holds the door open. “See you later!”

Once outside, I sigh. “You don’t have to—”

“Like hell I don’t,” he snaps.

I can’t stop myself from turning back and looking at him. “Is it necessary to be nasty to me, Luke? After everything, is it really necessary?”

“I’m beginning to think so,” he says in a very icy tone.

I turn and look at him. “What happened to—”

I trip and almost fall on my ass, but he catches my elbow and pulls me up.

“And there lies the fucking problem. All of you are oblivious to what the fuck is right under your damn noses.”

“Luke, I know you’ve seen and been through some horrible things in the past few years, but—”

“
Few
?” He laughs callously. “My entire life, I have watched every damn one of you treat me like I’m a fucking ghost. Ryan?” He huffs. “Calls me son? I’m not his fucking son.”

“Luke, that’s not fair,” I say sadly.

“No, fuck you, Ava. What’s not fair is that I’ve had to act like I understand all the fucking shit about my father. I never met the guy, but everyone around here thinks I should get all sentimental when they talk about him. None of them want me to
know
him; they want me to
be
him. Your father”—the way he says it is in disgust—“gives me shit like money for college and offers me a job because that’s what my
old man would want
. What about what the fuck I want? How about I be fucking Luke Lane and not some man they think I need to be?”

“Oh, Luke, that’s not—”

“The fuck it isn’t! Do you know what those people”—he points to his house—“put my grandparents through when I was born? Do you know that Tommy’s parents—my grandparents—are the only people who want me to follow my own path? They encourage me to stay in the Army, while all of them and you and your family think I should get out and join the Lucas show. Do you know, Ava, that Tommy died while taking your father to Syracuse because he wanted to get Tessa back from Ben! Ben, the one who is married to Tessa’s sister Kendall?”

I shake my head.

“It’s all fucking sick. It’s a big, incestuous mind-fuck. This whole town is a fucking joke.”

“Luke, we all love you, and—”

“No, you all love the memory of Tommy Lane. None of you have a clue who Luke Lane is, and I don’t give a fuck what your daddy thinks of me, Ava. Do you know how badly I want to tell him I fucked his little princess for years, knowing damn well I didn’t love her and never could?”

My mouth drops open as the reality of what he is saying hits me.

“You and I fucked. It was good. The minute you said those words to me, you fucked up your chance of having a holiday piece of ass handy. Or was it your service to the country that made you fuck me? Or was it the fact that your daddy fucked mine, and you wanted the same—”

I turn and slap him across the face, and he grabs me by the wrist.

“He loves you!” I scream.

“He doesn’t even know me. Neither do you, Ava. No more than all the other pussy around the world does!”

“You … you …” I stammer, unable to find the words I want to spew at him right now. The words to tell him I love him, but not this version of him.

“What? You what?” He lets go of my hand.

“You have been loved by so many. Truly, honestly, and deeply loved. You,
not
your father.” I poke him in the chest. “You!”

“You don’t love me,” he scoffs, “any more than I love you. We fucked. It was good to get off.”

I turn and walk quickly toward my house. Then I hear him coming behind me, so I stop and turn around.

“What do you want from me!”

“I want you to leave me the hell alone.”

I shake my head, feeling the finality in his words and his tone.

“Yes. You leave me alone, and you stop looking at me like you need a dick between your legs. Lord knows you’re getting it when I’m not here. Love one of them poor fuckers. Maybe then, Ava, you can stop living in their shadows and live your own damn life and not feel like you have to fuck me, because good old Tommy Lane wouldn’t like to know his bastard kid is getting fucked by Lucas Links’ kid, just like Lucas fucked him all the way up until his last breath.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Luke. I will block out any feelings I have for you, but you better make damn sure my father and your family never find out how much we disgust you. From what I hear, your father wouldn’t want that for them.”

I feel sick to my stomach, like I’m going to get sick, as he turns to walk away.

“Luke!” I call out. “Just so you know, I was in love with the boy who picked me to be on his team so I didn’t have to stop being me in order to fit in. That boy was you. I will always love that boy. I loved the man who put his country first. Until you are retired or decide to change careers, I will always say a prayer for your safety. But I am a woman of my word, and I am telling you right now that I am going to do everything in my power to calm the hurt, the pain, and the rejection I feel after how you have treated me. I am going to fill that hole you have created so that, when you pull your head out of whatever darkness it’s settled in, there is no room for a do-over.”

“Good. Now leave me the hell alone,” he snaps.

“And, Luke!”

He turns to look at me.

“Be safe. Please be safe and get some help.” That said, I walk into the garage and lean against the door as I lock it behind me. I reach into my pocket to document the time I promised I would never allow myself to fall in love again.

When I can’t find my phone, I remember I left it on the charger in the vehicle.

I open the door and grab it, seeing the message T sent. I read it.

GAD is the disease. Call me when you have some time. Good night, my goddess.

I hit call.

“Ava,” he answers.

“What the hell is GAD?” I ask, and for some unknown reason, I burst into tears.

“Ava—”

“I’ve never heard of it. I don’t understand.”

“Ava,” he tries again, but I can’t stop rambling, and when I do try, I sob because I can’t catch my breath.

“T,” comes out.

“You at your father’s home?” he asks. “Are you alone?”

“I’m not a whore. Are you sure—”

“Of course you aren’t.”

“Well, whores get diseases, not people like me!”

“Ava—”

“They get pregnant at sixteen, and—”

“Ava—”

“No, you listen to me—”

The phone goes dead. He hung up on me.

I hate him. I hate Luke. I hate everyone … including myself.

I slide down the door and cover my face as I cry. I cry for love lost. I cry for hate. I cry for Tommy, for Jade, for my father, for Luke, and for me. I cry for T because I gave him an STI, and I cry because I know damn well I don’t have one. Then, when I am done crying for all of us, I cry for Christmas that is no longer a day of hope.

I don’t know how much time has passed, but I am startled when there is a light tap on the window behind me.

Embarrassed at the possibility that Luke heard me and hopeful that he has returned to say he was sorry for all the ugly things he said and for what he actually believes about all of us, I stand and turn around.

T.

I wipe off my face and unlock the door, opening it just enough to ask him, “What are you doing here?”

“Are you alone?” he asks.

I take a shaky breath and tell him, “Logan’s asleep.”

And then I cry some more.

I step back as he walks in and shuts the door behind him.

“Too much spirit?” he asks, pushing my tear-soaked hair from my face and lifting my chin up.

My lip quivers, and I can’t form words.

“Oh, Ava, what have you done to yourself?” he says sadly and hugs me.

“Did I?” I ask then stop because I am still trying to catch my breath.

He steps back, not letting me go, but looks down at me. “It is definitely an incurable disease, Ava, but also a joke. GAD would stand for Goddess Ava Disease, and I am seriously afflicted, so much so that I drove far too fast in buggered up weather to get to you.”

“It would be sweet if I weren’t a mess.”

He smiles and strokes his thumb across my cheek, wiping away a tear.

Lights flash inside the darkened garage, and I look out the window as Luke’s truck passes by my house. He’s going to see her.

I look up at T as more tears fall.

“Ava,” he says sadly, “I wish I knew what to do to make it better.”

“Stay.” I wrap my arms around his neck and close my eyes.

When he doesn’t respond, I open my eyes. He locks eyes with mine and nods once before leaning down and pressing his forehead against mine.

“You’re certain?”

“Never more so.”

“Lead the way,” he says before pressing his lips to my head then taking my hand in his.

I walk quietly through the house, his hand tightly in mine. As I walk up the stairs, it’s with a purpose.

At my door, he stops, and I look back.

“This isn’t a good idea,” he says in a deep whisper.

“Please don’t tell me no.” I close my eyes and plead, “Please.”

I hear him take a deep breath, and then he slowly lets it out.

I take a chance and walk into my room, meeting no resistance. I then hear the door shut and lock behind us.

I turn, and he lets go of my hand to rub his hand through his messy, dark blond hair.

I step into him and link my hands behind his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

Deciding to speed up the need to erase Luke’s last kiss, I push my tongue into his mouth. He pulls back and kisses my neck softly, gently,… and too slowly.

I take my hands from his neck, grab his jacket lapels, and push it off of him as he kicks off his boots. I take the bottom of his shirt and pull it up as I pull away from him.

“Ava,” he says softly, yet his tone is not soft. “Slow it down.”

“What?” I ask, still lifting his shirt.

He grabs my hands and pulls them to his lips. He kisses them, and through the moonlight cascading in my bedroom windows, I can tell he’s made up his mind.

“Okay, then, why are you here?”

His eyes narrow, and he leans in closer. “My goddess needed me, and I was available.”

I laugh uncomfortably.

He doesn’t.

He doesn’t even move. He just stares at me.

I look up out of the corner of my eye to avoid the intensity, or scrutiny, or whatever he’s doing to me that is making me uncomfortable.

“Tell me, Ava, what do you want from me?”

“Sex,” I answer without looking at him.

He chuckles, and I finally look back at him.

“Why is that funny?” I’m getting a little upset, and I know it’s because I’m embarrassed by his obvious lack of interest.

What was I thinking?

He lifts my chin and kisses my nose. “We have danced this dance for years. We’ve made out, Ava, and anytime things get too hot, you back off, so forgive me if I don’t find this a bit absurd.”

“It’s different now.”

“For you maybe. For me …”

“For you, what?”

“You are different,” he says as if it should be obvious.

“I’m Harper’s friend? I’m not a groupie? I’m not someone you want for more than a quick fuck?”

“Ava—”

“I can be a quick fuck, T. And believe you me, Harper never has to know. I just … I just—”

“You just what?”

I shrug. “I just need this tonight.”

The way he looks at me, like I’m some pathetic, needy chick, makes me incredibly ashamed.

“And tomorrow?” he asks.

“I’m not going to go all freaky on you. I won’t call or text. I won’t expect anything.”

Again, he looks at me in a way one would look at a hungry, homeless puppy.

I sigh. “You shouldn’t have come. Just leave me to my misery and forget about—”

He wraps his arms around me and grips my ass hard. Then he lifts me so I am eye level with him as he walks toward my bed. My breath is immediately lost as I grip his shoulders.

We are eye to eye, breath to breath.

“If this happens, you can rest assured I will call tomorrow. I won’t hide what we will be from anyone. If this happens, Ava, whoever made you cry will be a distant memory, one that I want details of. If this happens, my goddess, you’re going to feel like I am your biggest fan. If you give yourself to me, it’s a gift I will cherish and one you better make damn sure you’re ready to receive because, as insane as it sounds, I have wanted you from the very first time I laid eyes on you. To further show how fucking insane this is, I have stayed away, knowing you are nowhere near ready to take what I have to offer.”

I open my mouth to respond, but no words come out.