3 Heads & a Tail (29 page)

Ayla
'
s head pinged back and forth, watching the conversation unfold like a tennis match, except it made less sense.

“
That
would involve
forward planning,
”
she
said.
“
Someone would have to plan that, arrange to meet Ms Hill, or ring her,
ta
ke Glen and then bring him back
.
”

“
But that
'
s not possible,
”
said Josie
, passing out the mugs of coffee
.
“
Calm down and think about it
clearly, Ben
.  He
'
s always here
or with one of us.
”

“
I don
'
t get it,
”
he mumbled.

Glen whined
as someone entered the room
.

“
Yo!
”
said David.
“
How is everyone? Wow,
you all l
ook like you
'
ve seen a ghost or
something!
”

Everyone looked up blankly, holding their mugs in front of them.

“
You look like the three wise monkeys – hear no evil, se
e no evil, speak no evil – but I
'
m not sure which is which!
”
laughed David, flicking his hair out of his eyes.
“
I
'
m heading out for the
night, so catch you tomorrow!
”
he added, a
nd was gone. The front door slammed
in his wake
.

Ben continued to stare into the empty space where he had stood.
“
He flicked his hair...
”

“
It
'
s really annoying, isn
'
t it,
”
sai
d Josie.
“
He
'
s always
...
”

“
It
'
s him!
”
yelled
Ben,
jumping up from
his chair.

“
You can
'
t
possibly
think
he
...
”
asked Josie.

“
She said he was go
od-looking,
early thirties, over six foot and had
dark hair
, which
he
kept flicking
all the time!
She even said he wore tight jeans!
He could have gone
into my room and got the papers
easily! And h
e could just take Glen for a walk and it wouldn
'
t look suspicious!
”

“
Voo
f!
”
said Glen, jumping around
.
“
Voof!
”

Ben sprinted out of the kitchen, threw open the front door and leapt down the steps two at a time. He looked up and down the street, but David was
nowhere to be seen
.
“
Damn him!
”
How could he?

“
Be
n, calm down. S
it down,
”
said
Ayla
, wh
en Ben returned.
“
He
'
s gone,
so you can
'
t do anything right now. Just sit down.
Drink your
coffee
.
”

“
I know it
was him.
”

“
You n
eed proof before you accuse him,
”
said
Josie
.
“
You can
'
t just...
”

“
Watch me,
”
said Ben.
“
The description fits.
I thoug
ht he was a mate, but he
'
s changed. He
'
s not who he used to be. I don
'
t know who he is now
... and my dog, that
'
s the last straw!
”

“
Well
,
”
said Josie.
“
There
'
s something else you should know as well.
”

“
What?
”

“
It
'
s juicy! You
'
ve gotta be si
tting down when I tell you this,
”
said Josie.

Ben reluctantly sat down
next to
Ayla
, who
put her arm around his shoulders.

“
There
'
s no easy way of saying this so I
'
ll just get to the p
oint.
David is
n
'
t teaching the landlady guitar every Sunday. They
'
re having sex
!
”

Ben shook his head.
“
What?
”

“
Sex!
”
repeated Josie.
“
They
'
re having sex. In his room.
”

“
No
!
”

“
Yes! It
'
s true. Me and Kay
walked in on them
,
and they weren
'
t pl
aying guitar!
”

Ayla
started
giggling
.
“
I
'
m sorry, but h
e
'
s a right one, this David!
”

“
But, she
'
s ...
”

“
Sixty?
”
asked Josie.
“
It
'
s not so old. We decided we wouldn
'
t mind having a toyboy at
sixty
!
”

“
That
'
s not the point,
”
said Ben
, irritated.
“
She
'
s t
he landlady? I thought
he was teaching her guitar. A
nd she
'
s mar
ried! She has children
...
and grandchildren. I don
'
t believe it.
”

“
She was also handcuffed and
blindfolded
,
and he was dressed up as a cowboy
with a
Stetson, guns and everything
!
”

Ayla
exploded into laughter. The
image
was too much
. H
er eyes started
to water.

“
I guess that means free rent,
”
added Josie.

“
The bastard!
”
said Ben.
“
So he prostitutes himself and my dog!
”

Ayla
exploded into
giggles
again.

“
It
'
s not
funny,
”
said
Ben.

“
It
is... it
'
s, it
'
s... hi-hi-
hilarious!
”
spluttered
Ayla
.
“
Stetson?!
”

“
Wait
un
til he gets
back home,
”
said
Ben
, gripping his hands together
.
“
He
'
s got some explaining to do. There
'
s no way I
'
m living with him any longer.
”

Josie sighed.
“
Are you going to ask him to move out?
He won
'
t
'
cos he obviously has money problems.
The landlady will side with him
. He
'
s k
eeping her happy every Sunday.
”

“
Right, well, when he gets home I
'
m still going to punch his lights out.
”

I flick my ears up.
Finally, they
see
David for who he i
s – a big
, stinky
asshole.
“
Voof.
”
Revenge
is a dish best served
...
in
any way
, really
.
Like a
big
juicy
bone.

Later that week, Ben took Glen to the vet for a check-up. The dog passed his MOT with flying colours. It
didn
'
t look like
too bad an experience, he thought, apart from the thermometer up the bum. He had no idea why the vet left it in so long. It
looked
a very uncomfortable, humiliating experience. Ben asked the vet for a letter
stating that
Glen was in perfect health – physically and mentally. The vet looked surprised, but did it anyway. Ben tucked it into an envelope and posted it to Ms Hill, along with a picture of Glen looking his
very
best.

Every day, Ben
and
Ayla
met in the park, sitting and chatting
away while Glen and Mi
mi got to know each other
better. There was always a bit of Frisbee throwing so that Glen could show off his skills and energetic prowess, and Mimi
got
a chance to watch his
athletic display.
Ben wondered if
Glen
was the Brad Pitt
of Labradors, but realised he was probably mor
e like Hugh Grant – always looking dopey and acting
a bit
on the
clumsy
side
. A
t least he hadn
'
t been crashing into any trees lately.

Every day, Ben took some p
hotos of Glen and Mimi playing. He
gave them to
Ayla
to pass
on
to Ms Hill, hoping that if she saw how much the dogs enjoyed each other
'
s company she might look more favourably on Glen. Every day he
'
d ask if she had made any comment, and every day
Ayla
would say that she
just tutted
.
Ben was still mad with David, but he had so far managed to avoid
seeing
him in the house. Josie stayed out of his way easily because she could literally hear where he was from her room.

The following week,
Ayla
told Ben that Ms Hill had banned her from meeting him with Mimi. She was confused and didn
'
t know what to do. Glen decided to take matters into his own paws.

Now that Ben
'
s fast asleep
, I
'
m making
my doggy move. Here I go. Pawtoe to the door,
I
'
m standing
on my back legs, dip
ping
the handle with my nose... ooompf...
come on, come on... ooomfff, ah... back on the ground. Poking
the door open with my paw, slowly, quietly
padding
out into the corridor. Don
'
t worry abo
ut closing the door...
too much trouble. It
'
s all a bit dark out here. No sounds. Voofing good. So it
'
s a pawtoe down the stairs and to the front door.