3 Lethal Rider-Lords Of Deliverance (19 page)

“So if I want to make chocolate chip cookies at two in the morning, I can?” Not that she knew how to cook, but she could learn. That’s what cookbooks were for, right?

“Yep.”

“Brownies?”

“Yep.”

“Pineapple upside-down cake?”

His smile took her breath. “Only if you share.”

“You like pineapple-upside down cake?”

“It’s my favorite.”

Once, she’d seen a Valentine’s Day issue of a women’s magazine with a heart-shaped pineapple upside-down cake on the cover, and inside the magazine was an article about romance and food and creating the perfect evening. A picture showed a couple sitting at an intimate table for two, lit by candlelight, and the cake between them.

Now her runaway imagination plugged her and Thanatos into the picture, him leaning across the table, his mouth inches from hers, the soft glow from the candles highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the sensuous curves of his lips.

His voice was husky as he whispered, “
For the next eight and a half months, you’re going to be mine. Every. Night
.”

Regan’s hand shook as she hastily shoved a forkful of spaghetti into her mouth and shoved the vision out of her head. Reaver was wrong. Thanatos might want her, but only because of what she could give him: a son and several months’ worth of sex, after which he’d either kill her or kick her out the door.

Some secret, guilty part of her even thought that maybe she’d deserve whatever he did to her.

So no, she wouldn’t be making Than pineapple upside-down cake.

Ever.

Thanatos loved watching Regan eat. There was just something…pleasing…about watching a female feed her young, whether the infant was in her arms or in her womb.

What wasn’t pleasing was how she suddenly seemed to have lost her appetite, and he thought he’d seen a subtle trembling in her hand. He probably shouldn’t have needled her about the Aegis taking his daywalker, Jacob. Idiot. Upsetting a pregnant female when she should be eating was foolish.

But he had to admit, he’d been shocked by what she’d said about feeding the baby. There were pregnant women
out there who intended to keep their babies but didn’t give a second thought to what crap they ate, drank, snorted, or smoked. And yet, Regan, who was prepared to give hers up, was concerned about his future diet.

He’d believed she cared about the child, but only because the fate of the world sat on the innocent baby’s shoulders. But the more he saw, the less sure he was that she viewed the child as nothing more than a tool.

“More?” He pushed the dish of macaroni and cheese closer.

“Oh, heck no.” She eyed the casserole like it was an enemy. “I’m going to pop.” She rubbed her belly. “Actually, I kind of wish I would. Though I guess now we have to hope he takes his time so we can nab Pestilence.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to get nasty, to ask, “And then what? You give the baby to Kynan?” Instead he reminded himself that he’d just given himself a mental lashing for upsetting her and kept the conversation light.

“Do you cook much?”

“I don’t know how.” Her long sable lashes fluttered downward with her gaze, as if her admission embarrassed her. “Not that it matters. I don’t have a kitchen.”

No kitchen? “Where do you live?”

“I’ve had a room at Aegis headquarters since I was sixteen. It’s like a studio apartment. At least it has a bathroom, so I can’t complain.”

“Doesn’t sound like you have much space.”

She shrugged. “Don’t need it. It’s not like I throw a lot of parties or hold holiday gatherings or anything.”

“Sounds lonely.” The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about what he’d said … or how
much it revealed about himself, given that he lived a solitary life, too. He recognized loneliness far too well.

“I keep busy,” she said, and yeah, so did he, but busy didn’t change the fact that he still slept alone at night.

“What about when you aren’t working?”

“I’m always working.”

“Don’t you take time out to enjoy human holidays and celebrations?”

“Someone has to work. Demons don’t stop terrorizing people just because it’s Christmas.” She arranged her silverware carefully on her empty plate. “Kynan and Val used to invite me to their houses for Thanksgiving and stuff, but it’s awkward to intrude on family gatherings, you know? So I work. The Aegis has a never ending list of documents they need me to feel up for authenticity, so it’s cool.”

No, it wasn’t cool. She had no real family or friends, did she? But why? And a never ending list? Didn’t The Aegis have anyone else to verify the authenticity of the texts in their library?

“So what—they keep you locked up at headquarters and force you to do their bidding?”

Regan jerked as if he’d jabbed her with a cattle prod. “Of course not. I volunteer for work. I’m lucky to be there at all. The Aegis usually kill people like me.”

“People like what?” When she looked down at her plate, clearly uncomfortable, he tempered his voice. “Regan? You can tell me. There’s nothing I haven’t heard.”

For a long moment, she sat there, her body tense, and he knew she was ready to bolt from the table. Very slowly, he reached out and settled his hand over hers, stroking with
the same motions he used to calm Styx. Sad, maybe, that all he had to reference was his ability to ease his horse, but women were so foreign to him. His only experience was with Limos, and she wasn’t exactly a typical female no matter how much she wanted to be. Besides, when she’d needed comfort, she’d generally gone to Reseph.

Gradually, Regan relaxed. “My birth parents were Guardians. But my father was possessed by a demon, and while he was under the demon’s influence, he impregnated my mother. I’m not a demon,” she added quickly, and he smiled.

“I know that. You’re a
camborian
.”

Her head came up. “I’m not a cambion.”

He shook his head. “A
cambion
is a child born of a demon-human union. You’re a
camborian
. Basically, your father’s very human seed was infused with demonic energy. So you aren’t a demon, but you possess some of the demon’s traits and abilities. And you probably have some of the demon’s sensitivities.”

She frowned. “I can’t take most medications.”

“I’ve heard that a lot of demons can’t tolerate human medicines. So it would make sense that you’d have some abnormal allergies.”

“I find it odd that The Aegis didn’t know the term for what I am.”

He snorted. “The Aegis doesn’t care. If they kill babies born of a possession, do they really need a name for it?”

Her glare told him she wasn’t ready for criticism of her people. Especially not by him. “We have a name for them. It’s just not the one you use.”

“Yeah? What do Guardians call people like you?”

She averted her gaze, and an instant rage came over
him, so strong that he felt the souls inside him begin to stir even without being armored up. “Shitspawn.”

He couldn’t contain the rattling growl that rose up in his chest. “They call you
shitspawn
?”

“No.” She shook her head hard, her denial too violent. “I mean, not … it’s been a while.”

“They might not say it to your face, but the term is there. You hear it, but then they look at you and say, ‘Oh, I didn’t mean
you
.’ Isn’t that right?”

Again, she denied it with a shake of her head. “You don’t know—”

“Yes,” he interrupted. “I do know. No one has fucked with me like that and lived to regret it, but I’ve seen it a million times in my life.”

“Thanatos?
Thanatos
.”

“What?” he snapped.

“Your eyes are glowing and the table is shaking.”

He wanted to tear apart every Guardian who had hurt her. It didn’t make sense, given that at one point he’d wanted to hurt her, too, but so much of what he was feeling didn’t make sense.

Christ, no wonder she kept busy working instead of socializing. Hanging out with her colleagues in her spare time would be about as fun as unclogging a toilet with a spoon.

Figuring that the way she was frantically folding her napkin in perfect squares was an indication that the subject was right up there with unclogging toilets, too, he reined in his temper and reached for one of the three desserts on the table. “Cake?”

Her eyes lit up. “I shouldn’t… but I swear, this kid instantly makes room for sweets no matter how full I am.”

“So… strawberry cheesecake, red velvet cake, or chocolate mousse?”
Your colleagues’ heads on silver platters?

“Yes, please.” She practically bounced in her chair, and Than couldn’t help but laugh, partly at the heads-on-silver-platters thing. That shit would be
funny
.

“There’s also five different flavors of ice cream in the freezer.”

She grinned. “I’ll save the ice cream for later. Right now…those.”

He dished up a serving of each of the desserts and pushed the plate to her. “Eat up.”

“You’re having some, too, right? This isn’t another
not until you’re done
thing, is it?” Her chin came up as she shoved the plate away. “I’m not eating dessert alone. You want me to eat it, you eat with me.”

Stubborn woman. Fine. He could play that game, too. “I’ll have a bite,” he said silkily. “But you have to give it to me.”

It amused him that she narrowed her eyes at him but she still, with jerky, huffy motions, cut a bite of cheesecake with the edge of her fork. She held it out, handle toward him.

“Here.”

“What, not going to feed it to me?” He wasn’t one to tease, or flirt or play, but he’d do whatever it took to get her to eat.
Keep telling yourself that, Than-boy
.

“I’m pretty sure you’re capable of feeding yourself.”

“You’re right.” He took the fork, covering her fingers with his as he did so. “I should be feeding you.” Gently, he pushed the tines toward her mouth.

“You said you’d have some if I gave it to you,” she protested.

He grinned, putting the dessert to her lips. “You eat this, and I’ll take a bite.”

She made a small growling noise that worked like instant Viagra on him. The sexy rumble went straight to his groin, and he shifted to make more room in his pants. When she grudgingly opened her mouth to take the morsel, he nearly groaned. She was wearing his clothes, carrying his son, and taking food from his hand. In the clan he’d grown up in, she’d be considered his.

Mine
.

It was a word he’d never thought he’d use. Never thought he’d have an opportunity to use. And he still shouldn’t. Regan wasn’t his. Even if she hadn’t deceived him, she didn’t want him, she didn’t want his son, and she clearly couldn’t wait to get away from him.

No, she definitely wasn’t his.

Mood effectively dampened, he released the fork and her hand. “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Confusion flashed in her eyes at his tone, sharper than he’d intended, but he hardened himself against it as he took a slice of red velvet cake. They finished the meal in tense silence, though Than didn’t eat the last of his food until Regan had pushed aside her plate and leaned back in her chair with a satisfied sigh.

As he washed down his final bite with a Mountain Dew, she yawned. Instantly, he was on his feet and pulling her to hers. “I’ll help you to bed.”

“What?” She allowed him to take her a few steps, but then she jerked to a halt. “Why?”

Honestly, he had no idea. So much had happened to her today, and she must be exhausted… so his first instinct when she yawned had been to take her to bed. But hell
if he was going to tell her he was so addled by her pregnancy and so eager to have a child that all he could think about was making sure she was taken care of.

He glanced at his watch for help. Midnight. Excellent. “It’s late. You need to go to bed.”

“I don’t need you to tell me when it’s time to go to bed, you know.”

Of course not. She didn’t need him for anything. He’d been locked out of her life and his son’s life for over eight months with absolutely no input and no way to provide for them. A twinge of hurt put him right back into defensive mode, and he smiled coldly.