39 Weeks (14 page)

‘Do you suppose everyone knows?’

‘Maybe. Probably not though, they’re a bit dense this lot, bit slow on the uptake.’

‘I hope you’re right.’

‘Well don’t matter now does it
,
not
if
you’re telling them official like today any
way. How you going to manage,
is the Dad going to help?’

‘No, there’s no Dad.’

‘Yeah figured. So
are you going to
be able to cope
on your own?’

‘Oh Shirley I have no idea. I’ve got to look for a new place to live, I’ve got to find some sort of baby minding service, and I’ll probably have to find a new job, I mean I don’t see how I can carry on here with . . . when . . well afterwards.’

‘What about if you was to give up work, you know go on
the
benefits?’

‘Mm I might have to,
but you don’t get much do you? A
nd I’m not sure I want to be at home all the time, I’d probably end up going mad and getting locked up for child abuse or something.’

‘Well why don’t you
advertise yourself and do all this accounts stuff at home for
other people, you know like
self employed people. My Cheryl’s blokes
a sparky, works for himself, and he’s always moaning about the amount of paperwork he has to do. Or maybe this lot will let you work from home for a bit.’

‘Maybe, I’ll look into it. Thanks Shirley.’

‘No bother. Look if you ever need to talk, or anything . . I mean I’m always here, every morning, and I’ve had five of me own, and they’ve all got kids
of their own
now as well so . .
just saying it can be hard trying to
deal with all this stuff
on your own, so if you
ever
. . you could come back to mine for a cuppa if you don’t want to talk here.’

‘Thanks Shirley, you’re a good friend.’

‘Okay, I real
ly gotta get on now. But I mean
it,
just let me know ok. Any time.’

Shirley really was a nice person I thought
,
as I watched her battling with the vacuum
as
she negotiated all the builder
s stuff they’d left lying about
and the shambles our office had become.

I made myself a cup of tea and waited for the first arrivals. I planned on telling Graham first as he’s my manager, and well he probably should be the first to know. I just hoped he wasn’t going to have one of his late mornings that he sometimes has, because his wife’s a sort of permanent semi-invalid and needs help in the mornings before he comes to work. I wonder if they ever had children, he never talks about it, and I never thought to ask
him
. Right this
minute I hoped he had, it might
make him a bit more understanding.

Gill arrived and gushed as was her wont lately
. I fretted that she’d overreact to seeing me in my fat clothes but I needn’t have worried. She was more
concerned that her and the new husband had signed
contracts for the
ir
new house and she was going to hand in her notice this morning
,
than she was about anything going on with me.

I gushed back
,
oozing fake enthusiasm, bearing in mind that as soon as she stopped talking for long enough I’d ask her what was happening to her old flat. I’d only been there once, the evening of the fated hen night, where we’d all met for a drink pre going out on the razz, and from what I saw and remembered
,
it would be perfect.
Two bedrooms, bigger living room, bigger kitchen, perfect. Course I didn’t know how much rent she was paying, but she lived there on her own for quite a while before she got married so fingers crossed it wouldn’t be too expensive.

‘So what’s happening to your old flat?’ I said as casually as I could manage. ‘Have you told the landlord you’re moving?’

‘We’
re telling them
tonight
, after work, the agents that is
. We wanted to wait until we had a proper moving date.’ She said looking at me questioningly.

‘It’s just that I’m looking for somewhere else, you know somewhere a bit bigger, better.’ I said trying to butter her up. ‘And I was just wondering if
your place was . .’

‘Well I suppose they will want to let it again as soon as possible, but they’ll probably put the rent up. That’s what usually happens isn’t it when someone moves out, and I’ve been there for three years now so I’m guessing they’ll grab the chance to get a bit more money out of someone.’

‘Probably, I don’t suppose you’d . . I mean do you think maybe you could . . um.’

‘Could?’

‘Well if you sub-let it to me, I mean they need never know, or you could tell them I was a relative or something, and maybe they wouldn’t put the rent up or not so much anyway. I mean how much are you paying
now?’

Gill considered and I guessed she was asking herself if she wanted to do this favour for someone she didn’t really care about. I wished then that I’d made more of an effort when she was droning on about the joys of living in the country.
‘See the thing is I’m having a baby and I really desperately need a bigger place.’
I wheedled.

The look of surprise on her face was something to behold and a bit of me was pleased that she hadn’t already guessed,
but
another bit of me was thinking
I give it about half an hour
tops, before everyone in the building knows.

‘Judy you’re having a baby? I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.’ She said with the greedy eager look of all gossips, relishing
a juicy titbit like this and planning to
distribute
it
to as wide an audience as possible
, as soon as possible, like the minute we stopped talking
.

‘
I’m not. It’s just me on my own having the
baby.’ I said
glumly.

‘You poor thing.’

‘So about the flat?’ I asked trying to divert the conversation
back to the pressing matter in hand, and acutely aware of the fact that the father of my unborn baby
was only about twenty feet beneath me
at this very moment
hammering or painting something
, and if Gill thought ab
out it for too long she might
figure that out.

But then I could almost see the cogs in what passed for her brain cranking
into ‘Lady Bountiful’ mode, as
she said she’d have to talk it over with her other half first
, but she couldn’t see any reason why not. How I hate it when people refer to their wives, boyfriends, partners as
their
other half, it really sets my teeth on edge, but I
smiled sweetly and tried to ignore the other half crap, hoping I was convincing and
trying to look
a bit pathetic knowing that if anything was going to swing it for me, that was.

‘I’ll let you know for definite tomorrow, okay? So how far gone are you? Does anyone else know?’

‘So far no one knows
, only you. Could yo
u keep it to yourself for a bit?
At least
until
I’ve told Grahame.’

‘Sure no problem.’ She said but I knew she’d waste no time telling the world
at large
at the first opportunity, and by lunch time I was proved right, everyone knew.

When about an hour later I told Grahame, he was fine about it. Really nice in fact
,
but then he is a bit of a softie. Then I had to go through it all over again to Ted in personnel. He was more matter of fact and explained
to me about maternity leave and that I’d still have a job if I
decided to come
back to work after the baby was born, and that I could even go part time afterwards, at least for a while, if that’s what I wanted. Course I wouldn’t be paid for all this time off but still it was something to know that I’d still have a job
if I wanted it
.

My next port of call was Doreen, Vee and Jack, who luckily were all standing together.
But i
t turned out
luck had
nothing to do with
it
, Gill had done her work and they were all discussing my i
mmanent motherhood status
.

‘How long have you got?’ Doreen asked.

‘Well it’s due at the end of February, so fingers crossed I’ll last till January at least.

‘What did Grahame say? Jack wanted to know.

But before I could answer, horror of horrors, the twonk had come upstairs and was looking for
Bill, the building guy in charge
.

‘Sorry to interrupt your high powered summit,’ he said sarcastically, ‘but have any of you lot seen Bill?’

I immediately froze to the spot and just stared at him stupidly. Mouth open and everything. This was the first time I’d actu
ally come face to face with him and t
he first time he’d actually looked at me properly.

I knew something registered with him, like he’d just realised he knew me from somewhere. Thankfully the others didn’t seem to notice
my gob-smacked state
, and Jack said he thought he’d seen Bill in what was eventually going to be Grahame’s office when it was finished.

‘Thanks mate.’ Matt the twonk said slightly distracted and still looking at me
as he wandered off.

‘I think he likes you.’ Vee said obviously oblivious of the real situation. ‘He couldn’t stop staring at you. Do you know him?’

‘What! No I don’t know him. Give me some credit. A bloke like that are you joking?’
I said a little too loudly.

‘Okay, just wondered.’ Vee said a bit taken
a
back by the vehemence of my reply.

‘Sorry,’ I said contritely. ‘I’m just a bit touchy today what with telling everyone I’m pregnant and everything.’

‘Yeah I know.’ She said touching my hand to let me know she understood.

We all wandered off to our various desks and I pretended to work while keeping an eye on the twonk who was still talking to his boss. Eventually he finished and with another look in my direction as he passed, went back downstairs.

Oh crap. What now? Was he going to figure it out or was I just going to be one of those faces that rings a bell but you can’
t quite place?

He
stayed out of my way and
didn’t come back upstairs
for the rest of the day, and I avoided going downstairs until lunch time when I nipped to the loo hoping he would be at lunch or at least
not
looking in my direction. By going home time
I was beginning to think I’d got away with it, and that he’d forgotten all about me, and
I
began to
breathe normally again.

Periodically throughout the day people had come over to my desk to congratulate me. Everyone it seemed had some horror story about giving birth that they felt the need to tell me and
that
I could have done without, I mean my own imagination had already gone into overdrive as it was thinking about who knew what horrors were waiting for me
, without hearing about all the real stuff that could and sometimes did go wrong, and above all how bloody painful it was all going to be. Why do people do that, I’d even said to some of them ‘no don’t tell me’ but they did anyway.

I was mentally and physically exhausted and was packed up and ready to leave at five on the dot.

I edged my way through reception like a thief about to be caught but the builders had already packed up for the day, and the twonk had gone.
Phew thank God for small mercies, I thought.

But God was not on my side,
he was playing one of his little life jokes on me,
because as I walked over to my car there was the twonk, large as life and twice as obnoxious, leaning languorously on his own car with arms crossed as if he had all the time in the world, and to make matters worse his car was parked only a few feet from mine and I would have to walk past him to get to mine. I paused for a moment trying to think if there was any way I could avoid him. I couldn’t think of anything. I steeled myself determining that if he said anything I’d just have to brazen it out, either deny all knowledge, or laugh it off as some chance encounter I’d long since forgotten about.

As I neared
him
he stood up straight. Here it comes I thought
.
Oh s
hit.

‘Hey it’s Judy isn’t it?’ He said all chatty and animated.

‘Yes.’ I said guardedly. Rat’s he’d remembered my name.