4-Bound By Danger (18 page)

“He’s in it hardcore. You know you can’t get him out, Jace—you know that.”

Jace almost told him then, about the deal he’d made with the Feds and that he was afraid he was getting screwed, but everything was so entwined.

And then Clint said, “There’s been a tail on several members who’ve met with the Colombians through the new warehouse.”

Kenny was one of them.
That was Clint’s unspoken message, something that Jace knew already.

He wished Clint hadn’t shared that, although he was grateful for Kenny’s sake.

“You need to get out—Kenny’s made his bed.”

“If I’m around, they won’t touch him.”

Clint didn’t argue. Jace knew his own statement was more true than false, but that didn’t mean Jace was safe by any means. But Clint continued, “If you want, I can—”

“No.” If the Feds knew Jace had involved another agency, that would be worse.

“I know that once you’re in the MC, there are only a few options for getting out, all of them either painful or undesirable,” Clint said now, and Jace nodded, although they both knew they’d resolved nothing more on the subject.

Torn between love and family, he was in the shittiest place possible, and since Clint was out and safe, Jace figured he could only hope for the best.

Chapter Twenty-Two

After the long-assed mission followed up by the head-splitting tragedy, Sawyer went home with a heavy heart and brooded. And drank. And brooded and drank and called Jace, who didn’t answer. Which meant his friend couldn’t stop him from doing the stupidest thing ever, which was why he found himself at Rex’s door with the bottle of Jack still in his hands and the cab that drove him here long gone.

He prepped for a long, humiliating walk home in the pouring rain and took another drink for courage. And stumbled back and cursed when the bottle broke and the lights went on inside the house, and he thought about running. But then the door opened and Rex stood there in just shorts, looking sleepy and so damned good.

It was too late to back down now. He stood and braced himself for Rex to yell, but all the man did was open the door while Sawyer continued to stand in the soaking rain.

Finally, he managed, “I…had a nightmare.” Could he
be
any lamer?

“And you decided coming here drunk to share that intel was a good idea?” Rex asked, and although Sawyer couldn’t be one hundred percent certain, he was pretty sure that Rex’s tone was…almost teasing. And he had that little twisted smile on his face, the one Sawyer sometimes caught him using when he looked at him when he thought Sawyer wasn’t watching.

“You didn’t call tonight. You’ve been calling, and—” His stomach fluttered, and he kept going. “I know I piss you off all the time when we’re not on the phone.”

“You don’t.”

“Then why the fuck are you always yelling at me?” It came out in an exasperated tumble and probably more demanding that he should be with his CO, regardless of the fact that his visit was anything but professional. And he crossed his arms and waited for Rex’s reply, which he wasn’t prepared for.

“I push you because I need you to train as hard as you can so nothing ever happens to you,” Rex said quietly, his eyes shining with an emotion Sawyer couldn’t place. But there was something dark there. The man was in mourning himself, just like the rest of them.

Had it always really been that simple of an explanation? Sawyer swallowed back what would’ve been a laugh and a sob all at once, and at the same time he moved forward.

Rex waited, let Sawyer embrace him and kiss him without any hesitation. The time for hesitating was long gone, and when his mouth met Rex’s, the fear he’d been holding on to stripped away for the moment. His hands sought quarter on Rex’s shoulders, his wet clothes hit Rex’s bare chest with a satisfying slap and his tongue dueled with his CO’s in a dance older than time.

He met no resistance—Rex kissed him back immediately, wrapped his arms around Sawyer’s waist and dragged him first closer and then into the living room, where they tumbled to the couch, breaking the kiss only when Rex pulled Sawyer’s shirt off. Somehow, Sawyer was in his lap, straddling him, and they were both soaking wet and so was the couch.

And then Sawyer rested his forehead against Rex’s for a long moment, the only sounds their harsh breathing as he tried to reconcile what had just happened and what was to come.

“You okay?” Rex asked finally.

He couldn’t look Rex in the eye yet. Kept them closed, forehead to forehead. “More than. It’s just that…I’ve never…”

“I figured.”

“Should I be insulted?”

Rex laughed softly. “If it wasn’t your first time, you wouldn’t have made me wait this long.”

Sawyer went to pull away, embarrassed, but Rex pulled him back. “It was sweet, watching you wrestle with your feelings.”

“Sweet? Christ,” Sawyer mumbled. “Was I that obvious?”

“Only to me. But you were worth the wait.” Rex traced the path of Sawyer’s jaw with his finger. “You have no idea how tough it was not to pull you in the shower with me. Or not to follow you into your bunk afterward and go down on you.”

Sawyer drew a stuttered breath and his cock jumped.

“You would’ve let me, right?”

“I think I might’ve,” Sawyer whispered. “You’re so strong, Rex. So big and strong, and you make me feel safe.”

“You do the same to me.”

Sawyer’s eyes met Rex’s and there was no joke in them. “Thanks for saying that.”

Rex stroked a hand through his hair, then pulled him in for a kiss. Sawyer ground against him like he was unable to control his body.

Like he didn’t want to. “The phone calls helped.”

But Rex pulled back. “You have to be ready.”

“I am.” Sawyer put Rex’s hand on his swollen cock. “Now fuck me.”

“Now you’re giving me the orders?” Rex asked, his eyebrow raised, his voice shooting straight to Sawyer’s cock.

“Yes,” he answered boldly.

“I don’t want to do this when you’re too drunk to make a decision.”

“I’m not.” It was the truth—Rex’s admission and the kiss had sobered him in a way he hadn’t thought possible. Although the buzz was flowing through his body, he figured the liquid courage would help to hide his nervousness of being a freakin’ virgin again. “Please…don’t make me wait. I’ve already done that for too long. I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“Talking to you, being with you, isn’t something I’d ever consider to be wasted time,” Rex told him. “You didn’t really have a nightmare.”

“Couldn’t even get to sleep,” he admitted.

“Pretty normal after the kind of tragedy we faced today.”

“Nothing feels normal,” Sawyer said. “But some things, they just feel right.”

Rex swallowed hard. Sawyer watched the man’s Adam’s apple move, the only movement on the man’s body. When Rex wanted to be, he was an immovable brick wall—and Sawyer wanted nothing more than for the wall to break, just a little.

He’s probably wanting the same thing from you.

Tonight, they’d both get what they wanted.

The boy was drunk as shit—and although Rex didn’t doubt for a second Sawyer was there of his own free will, his conscience couldn’t let him do what his cock so desperately wanted. He knew Sawyer wouldn’t take no for an answer, so he dragged the boy’s jeans off and put him in bed, letting the hard planes of the boy’s body jut into his.

He’d underestimated how strong his SEAL was, when the boy jerked his own shorts off and circled Rex’s cock, his breath catching when he did so. Rex stilled, willing himself not to come in Sawyer’s hand.

“Sawyer, please…I want you sober when we do this the first time.”

But Sawyer was beyond listening, was stroking and teasing, and it had been too long coming. Rex let out a strangled groan as the drunken boy took control of him, pushing him back, taking his cock in his mouth, and for someone who had no experience…

“Sawyer, Christ…” Rex bucked his hips up as Sawyer suckled him hard, just the way he liked it.

He hadn’t expected the tables to turn like this, but luckily for Sawyer, he was willing to be patient. Which honestly wasn’t very patient at all, although the way Sawyer was fucking his cock with his mouth was helping a lot.

He wanted to pull out, turn the boy over and fuck him, wanted to tell himself that they had nothing but time tonight and tomorrow, but he knew that wasn’t true. All they had was what they had at that moment, and to not take the risk would result in regrets. And Rex had too many of those.

“Sawyer, I’m going to come in your mouth if you don’t move away now,” he warned, which only resulted in Sawyer taking him in more deeply. He felt him gag a little, but Rex shot anyway, and Sawyer held his hips tightly, like he was afraid the prize would be taken from him because he wasn’t perfect.

But he was so fucking perfect, Rex couldn’t stand it. And when he could finally move again, he dragged Sawyer to him, tasted himself in the boy’s mouth as their kiss melded them together. Rain poured down around the house, drumming the roof, slamming the windows, and that rhythm was inherent in Rex’s brain. He wanted to pound into Sawyer to the same beat.

He reached out a hand to grab the lube in his drawer. Squeezed some on his fingers and began to work them down inside Sawyer’s ass as the boy stiffened. He watched Sawyer’s face carefully, memorizing those first expressions as his fingers stroked and circled and finally entered, slowly at first and then more insistently as Sawyer moaned with pure pleasure.

Sawyer, up on his hands and knees, looking down as Rex finger-fucked him, and Rex would never, ever forget this moment, like it was frozen in time.

“More, Rex. I want more.”

“Good, because you’re going to get it.” Two fingers now, and he maneuvered so Sawyer was on his back, legs spread, surrendering to the inevitable.

“I loved watching you in the shower,” Sawyer confessed with a gasp. “But this is better.”

“Yeah,” Rex agreed, adding a third finger, opening the boy up for him. Sawyer was watching him, and the sensations rolling through his body made him relaxed enough to take it.

Whether he’d regret it in the morning was still a nagging thought in the back of Rex’s mind. And, as if Sawyer knew, he reached up and touched the man’s jaw.

“I want this. Wanted it forever,” he told Rex fiercely. “Want to be fucked by you and held by you.”

“In the morning you might get nervous.”

“Suppose I do? Suppose I bolt?”

“I’ll bring you back, because this is where you belong,” Rex told him as he twisted his fingers, and Sawyer’s hips rose up as he howled.

As hard as his dick was, he wanted Sawyer far more lucid before they fucked for the first time. Wanted his eyes and his mind clear. And so he brushed the boy’s prostate again and again, used his free hand to stroke Sawyer’s cock, watched as the spiraled loss of control overtook him.

“Yeah, that’s nice, boy—you look so hot when you’re on the brink like this,” Rex told him, because Sawyer was helpless and enjoying it, and finally, the boy closed his eyes and came so hard he spurted his chest and chin and some of the headboard behind him.

“Beautiful,” Rex murmured against him, his hand still half inside Sawyer’s ass, his tongue licking the side of the boy’s neck, tasting sweat and man.

Sawyer looked content as a whole, but something in his eyes told Rex he still held on to some worry. “What are you afraid of?” Rex asked him.

“That this isn’t real. That you’ll realize I’m not good enough for you.”

“It’s real, and you’re more than good enough, Sawyer. And I’ll tell you what—if you bolt, I’ll come after you.”

“You’re sure?”

“I don’t give my word lightly. You run, I follow—at least in the beginning. Once you’re on solid footing, I don’t expect you to be scared anymore.”

The adrenaline rush and the alcohol, combined with the orgasm and the stress of the day, took over, as Rex hoped. Soon, Sawyer was drooling on his shoulder, and Rex pulled the covers around them and hoped that morning didn’t bring on another attack of Sawyer’s nerves.

The boy was safe though, and that was all that mattered to Rex that night. Mourning their lost comrades was something they’d do every time they did their jobs. But tonight was for acceptance. Sawyer had finally come to him.

Clint called Styx. Good thing the man was good with late-night, cryptic, out-of-the-blue phone calls, because this would definitely be one of them.

“To be a good agent, you don’t share anything, which makes you shit in a relationship,” he started.

To his credit, Styx answered Clint’s couched question immediately, his voice obviously rough from sleep. “But you’re with a guy who gets your world.”

“It’s still dangerous to let him in. For him, for me.”

“He’s not a civilian—he can take care of himself,” Styx told him. “And yes, I realize it took me sixteen years to realize that about Law. But I don’t want to see someone I care about waste a minute. Wasted time brings nothing but regrets.”

Styx was right. Everything was a risk, but diving in deep with Jace was a good risk to take.