Authors: SE Jakes
“Glad you’re okay.” Jace stared down at their hands before slowly drawing his away, his fingers sliding from Clint’s like sand through an hourglass he couldn’t capture or get back.
“Don’t leave.”
“Clint—” Jace started, stopped for a long moment. “I’m glad I came. But it doesn’t change what happened before you left.”
“No, it doesn’t. I was worried then, and I’m worried now.”
“You can’t just order me to do stuff outside the bedroom.” Jace gave a wry smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“You’ve got to let someone in, dammit. Trust me, even the Lone Ranger needed someone.”
“I’m going to fly back separately from all of you. I’ve got to get back to base ASAP and they’re not releasing you for a few days,” Jace said as he stood. “You take care of yourself.”
“I’m not letting you leave this hospital,” Clint told him, and Jace’s shoulders went up at the command. “I won’t push you away again—not after you got used to me chasing you. That wasn’t fair.”
“I fucked up too,” Jace told him without turning around. “But the fact that you thought I could betray you—”
“I didn’t really think that. I was angry. I wanted you to need me.”
“I did—I do. Fuck.” Jace looked down and finally turned to face Clint.
“Don’t make me get off this bed.” Clint sat up and winced. “You saved my goddamned life.”
“I love you, Clint. But I’ve got to get back to work.”
This time, Jace didn’t turn back and Clint let him go, despite his promise not to.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Clint’s hospital stay lasted two more weeks, with Styx and Law and Paulo taking turns helping him. He was finally released, and Styx hired a private doctor to fly with him, just in case.
It would be a tough recovery, but with time, he’d heal fully. For now, he felt weak and useless, and he barked at everyone and anyone who tried to help him. The guilt of that overwhelmed him as much as what he’d done to Jace.
“You helped his cousin,” Paulo pointed out to him after a month had gone by with no word from Jace.
“Not soon enough. Fuck, I should’ve guessed Jace would do anything to help his family. Should’ve known he might do something like working with the Feds. Losing my fucking edge.”
“You’re losing it where Jace is concerned, period, but that’s because you love him. It’s hard to see through that, and blaming yourself for everything that happened isn’t helping. He loves you—I know it after knowing him for forty-eight hours.” Paulo handed him medicine. “Let him come to terms with everything. I know what it’s like to fight off what’s good for you. I almost ran from these guys.”
“I thought he was done running.”
“I don’t think I’m done yet, some days, and I’m completely in love with both of them.” Paulo glanced over at Law and Styx, who huddled over the computer, no doubt planning their next mission. “Go find him.”
The look in Paulo’s eyes when he said it left Clint little doubt that he truly believed that’s what Jace would want.
Clint knew Jace had gotten back from his mission and suspected where he’d find him. His gut led him to the cemetery where he’d found Jace standing over his grave.
The boy was there again, sitting facing Tomcat’s grave, but he wasn’t crying. No, he was contemplative, like he’d done this before, many times, and Clint wondered if he should walk over, sit next to him.
He decided to wait in Jace’s truck instead, noted the surprise on the SEAL’s face when he opened the door and found Clint in the backseat where the windows were better tinted.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Jace climbed in and started the truck. And then he climbed over the front seat to sit next to Clint in the back, after the heat came on and the doors locked. “Styx told me you’ve been doing well.”
“I figured you’d been keeping tabs on me,” Clint said quietly.
“I didn’t want to…I couldn’t call. Not yet. Not till I figured some stuff out,” Jace explained. “I fucked up big-time in all of this. Couldn’t figure out my own head. All I knew was that I wanted you from the second I saw you.”
Clint prayed there wasn’t a
but
at the start of the next sentence. Jace’s face flushed a little, the way it always did when they were having sex or Jace was responding to a command or living out a sexual fantasy, and it took everything Clint had not to pull the boy into his lap and kiss the shit—and the hesitation—out of him.
“Don’t let me go, Jace,” he said finally.
“I won’t.” Jace’s eyes met his. “I just got back this morning. You were going to be my next stop.”
“Why come here?”
“Tomcat was the one who first made me realize I was capable of living—of trusting—even if I didn’t realize it myself for a lot longer. I thought I owed it to him to tell him that.” Jace shrugged. “Probably seems weird.”
“Nah—I owe Tomcat a lot.” This time he did pull the boy in close, and to his relief, there was no resistance. “You look tired.”
“And you look worse.” Jace nuzzled him. “I’m fine. Been rough with Kenny, but then WITSEC stepped in and took over. You wouldn’t know anything about that, right?”
“Want me to pretend to be innocent?”
“Has that ever worked?” Jace asked, and Clint grinned in response.
“I made some calls about Kenny. Got the Feds moving.”
“I should’ve known better than to trust them.”
“You were trying to help someone you love. That doesn’t always equal rational decisions,” Clint pointed out.
“Yeah, well, I saved your ass by being irrational.”
“And I hope you never let me forget it.”
Jace laced a hand with his. “I know it was a pain to deal with, so thank you for making sure he’s safe.”
“And you?”
“They got it when I told them if I stayed in, my CO threatened an investigation,” Jace said. “Rex really came through. Sawyer explained everything to him—even though I didn’t ask him to.”
“You’re not angry with him, are you?”
“No, he was just helping.”
“I know things are set in motion, but watch your back anyway. Most of the Killers got taken down, but they’ll come back. They always do.”
“Speaking of coming back, what about you?” Jace asked. “I’ll understand if you’re not ready to leave the job, not with everything that happened.”
“I’m not ready to stop black ops completely, but I don’t think you are, either. We could work them together, just without the government jobs holding us back.”
“With Styx?”
“Yeah, what do you think?”
“You mean we’d actually live in the same zip code for longer than a week at a time?”
Clint touched Jace’s cheek, looked into the boy’s eyes. “I was thinking better than same zip. Same house.”
Jace’s eyes lit up. “Really? You’d do that again, even after…”
“Yeah, even after. I understand what you did, Jace. Probably would’ve done the same thing in your position. So what do you think—make this permanent? Maybe find a brand-new place and start over? I’d never offer if I wasn’t sure.”
“I wouldn’t say yes if I wasn’t sure. So yes,” Jace told him.
“Good. Now come on over here and rest with me. I’m an old man, remember?”
Jace laughed softly. “Yeah, that’s just how I think of you. That old man I need.”
“I love that you need me, Jace. I love…” God, the words had threatened to tumble out so easily, and once he’d realized it, he’d dialed it back.
“I know,” was all Jace murmured. “You don’t have to say it now. You don’t ever have to. When I finally looked at your actions, the way you always came to me, even when I didn’t think I could handle us…well, they speak much louder than the words you can’t get out.”
This kid, this man, melted him. Every. Single. Time. “I love you, Jace.”
His voice was gruff, barely recognizable to his own ears…but Jace smiled. Flushed a little. And Clint knew he’d done the right thing.
He cradled Jace against him, kissed him fiercely. Pulled him closer—he finally knew he’d never be happy without this boy.
Never.
Jace practically climbed him. Wrapped around him like he’d finally realized the same thing, murmuring, “I love you,” into his ear. And they were naked and fucking right in the damned truck, because that was how they relayed their most intense feelings to each other. This time was no exception.
About the Author
SE Jakes lives in New York where she’s currently at work writing her next book. She feels that doing what you love keeps you young and that writing about people falling in love is probably the best damned job in the entire world. You can find out more information about SE’s newest books at
sejakes.blogspot.com
and
www.facebook.com/sejakes
.
Look for these titles by S.E. Jakes
Now Available:
Men of Honor
Bound by Honor
Bound by Law
Ties that Bind
Can two men let go of the past in order to find their future together?
Ties that Bind
© 2011 SE Jakes
Men of Honor, Book 3
When helo pilot Glen Rhodes flies Navy SEALs into the most dangerous places on earth, he has nerves of steel. Since his trusted Dom’s death three years ago, though, the thought of submitting makes him panic.
Determined to move on and long past ready to release the adrenaline rush from his job, Glen returns to home ground—and to the bar he hasn’t had the heart to enter for three long years. There, he meets a man who seems to fit naturally into the void.
Derek Mann has suffered his own losses, and he isn’t looking for permanent. Easy conquests don’t interest him, either. One look at Glen’s proud military bearing and sad eyes tells him that he has a challenge on his hands. And that winning Glen’s trust will unleash something wild and beautiful.
The plan is to tread lightly. But from the first touch of skin on skin, there’s no holding back…except when it comes to their deepest emotions. A Christmas Eve crisis pushes them both to their limits, leaving them no choice but to let go of the past…or let it pull them apart.
Warning: Contains rough language, rougher sex and warriors who fall hard for one another.
Enjoy the following excerpt for
Ties that Bind:
Glen’s place was done in browns and beiges and blues—clean and calming, with comfortable-looking furniture and a modern kitchen that looked like it was barely used.
With red still staining his cheeks, Glen locked the door behind them and pressed buttons on the buzzing alarms.
“Can I get you anything?” Glen asked as he toed his shoes off.
“Water would be fine.”
Glen grabbed a bottle from the fridge, took the time to pour it in a glass with ice, and Derek couldn’t tell if it was manners or the man stalling or a combination. When Glen handed it to him, Derek took a sip and then asked, “What do you need from me, Glen?”
The boy shot him a look, the surprise obvious, and that was good. He was up to this.
“I, ah…fuck.” Glen pressed a palm to his forehead. “I don’t know. I like to be tied down. Hard. But—”
It was too soon—Derek would need to earn that trust. Coming into the club tonight had drained Glen, and it was up to Derek to make sure he didn’t fall apart sooner than he was ready to. “Why don’t you let me decide?”
“What if I can’t do what you want?”
“It won’t be more than you can take. It won’t be a scene. You’ll get what you need.”
It took a few minutes for him to nod yes. Derek sat in one of the leather chairs, glass in hand. “Strip for me.”
Glen barely hesitated, then stripped his shirt and his jeans, a defiant look in his eyes.
He wouldn’t go down on his knees into position—and Derek wasn’t going to make him. Not to prove a point, anyway. Instead, he took the time to appreciate Glen’s sculpted, lean body, the thick, jutting cock belying any protests the boy might make. He spread his own legs and let Glen’s eyes roam his body—there was no missing the swell of his cock through his pants, despite the tight leather. “Like what you see?”
Glen nodded slowly, began to stroke himself without breaking Derek’s gaze. Derek finished his water, put the glass down and walked to the boy, not telling him to stop his stroking.
“Beautiful.” He ran a hand over the tattoos that covered him, not surprised when Glen reached out with his free hand and pulled him in for a kiss. Glen’s hand wound in his hair, holding him closer, definitely taking charge, and Derek allowed it, because the boy knew how to kiss. Glen tasted like heat and sin. And then Derek changed the rhythm when he put his hand on the back of Glen’s neck and began fucking his mouth with his tongue, taking back all the control, and Glen opened his mouth wider, acquiescing.
Glen would enjoy submitting far more than he was willing to admit. The boy would have to have nerves of steel to fly combat missions—it took equal strength to submit. Glen was a tough-ass son of a bitch. Just what Derek wanted, someone to push back, to challenge him. He wanted that spark, the fight, which made working for the submission that much more satisfying.