4 Shot Off The Presses (17 page)

Eliot was waiting for me in his truck when I turned around. I trudged over to the vehicle dejectedly and climbed in. “That didn’t go well.”

“What?”

“I tried to tell him I would fix things, but he seems to think I’m incapable of doing just that.”

Eliot was quiet as he focused on the road and finding his way back out to the freeway.

“What? You don’t think I can fix this either?” I turned on him.

“I don’t know,” Eliot shrugged. “I guess anything is possible.”

“Tad is a pain. He’s always sticking his nose into something. I will find a way to get my way. Heck, for all we know, Christine is the freeway shooter and it will be a moot point,” I said, glancing outside of the truck as the foliage sped by.

“Do you really think Christine is the freeway shooter?”

“I don’t know. Why was she buying ammunition?”

“Maybe she likes to shoot a gun. There are people out there that find it relaxing,” Eliot reminded me.

“It’s just too much of a coincidence.”

“What’s her motivation?” Eliot asked.

“Maybe she’s crazy,” I replied flippantly. “Maybe she’s trying to purposely set up a case that she thinks is impossible to solve and that will make Jake look bad? Maybe she has a multiple personality and one of her personalities is a sociopath?”

Eliot raised an eyebrow. “A multiple personality?”

“I watch a lot of soaps,” I grumbled.

“Maybe that’s it.”

“What?”

“The reason you’re so dramatic.”

There was a grim – and cold – tone to Eliot’s voice.

“What’s your deal?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eliot said evasively.

“Why are you being so . . . cold?”

“I’m not being cold,” Eliot countered. “I’m concentrating on driving.”

“You’re mad about something.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “You’re just different. You weren’t this way a few minutes ago before I . . .” I broke off.

“Before what?” Eliot prodded me.

“Before I went and talked to Jake,” I said succinctly.

“You mean before you raced after him and left me just standing there watching you chase after you ex-boyfriend?” Eliot’s tone was biting now.

“I didn’t race off,” I challenged him. “I just wanted to tell him that I would fix things.”

“No,” Eliot shook his head. “You didn’t like him being mad at you so you felt the need to race after him to make sure he still loved you just as much as before.”

“That’s just . . . not true.“ I was flabbergasted. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Because you know it’s the truth,” Eliot charged on. “You know that you were so worried that poor Jake might have had his feelings hurt because we spent the night together – yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice that little reaction – that you couldn’t wait to run over there and make sure he was okay.”

“That is not true,” I said angrily. “I went over there because I didn’t appreciate him blaming this all on me.”

“It’s your fault, Avery,” Eliot slammed his hand down on the wheel of the truck. “You didn’t do it on purpose and you didn’t do it with malice but you did do this. You did.”

“That’s not fair,” I argued wanly.

“Why was Christine Brady hired?”

“To spy on Jake.”

“That’s being both simplistic and evasive. Why was she hired?”

“Because Tad felt I was getting special treatment and he wanted an inside person in the sheriff’s department,” I admitted reluctantly.

“That’s still too simplistic,” Eliot snapped. “Ludington hates Jake because of you. He wants Brady in there because it makes Jake uncomfortable. Jake has taken up your cause in front of Ludington at least once that I know of – and I have a feeling there have been a lot of other times. He did it one too many times and now, here we are.”

“You act like I did this on purpose,” I pouted.

“No,” Eliot shook his head vehemently. “I know you didn’t do this on purpose and, sometimes, I don’t even think you realize what you’re doing. It’s innate in you.”

“What is?”

“This need to always be right.”

“I don’t always need to be right.”

“Really?” Eliot rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you were wrong? Wait, let me rephrase that, when was the last time you admitted you were wrong?”

I wracked my brain for an answer. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of one off the top of my head. Instead of admitting that, though, I decided to make the fight worse – which was further proof of just what Eliot was accusing me of. “You’re just jealous of Jake, and you have no reason to.”

Eliot’s face had turned red. “I am not jealous of Jake.”

“You’re mad that I went over and talked to him instead of staying with you. Just admit it.”

“You admit that you were more worried about poor Jake’s feelings than anything else.”

“No, because that’s not true,” I said angrily.

“And it’s not true that I’m jealous of him,” Eliot retorted.

“You’re acting jealous.”

I was frustrated. Days of Eliot watching my every move and early morning phone calls from my mother had collided with Eliot’s irrational anger and now things were
spiraling out of control. I could see it happening. I could feel things slipping away from me. I did nothing to stop it, though.

“Avery, you are insufferable!”

Any semblance of the cool that Eliot emitted so effervescently on a normal day was gone. He was enraged – and I was the only one in his orbit to target with that rage.

“You’re not so easy to deal with either,” I sniffed obstinately.

“Shut up,” Eliot raged. “Just shut up for the rest of the drive. Do you think you can do that?”

I ignored Eliot’s statement and turned my full attention to the scenery speeding by along the freeway. I couldn’t figure out why he was so mad. I was having trouble figuring out why I was so mad. All I knew was that my gut was balled into a small knot of irrepressible anger – and it was, quite literally, making me sick to my stomach.

I endured the ride back to Eliot’s pawnshop in uncomfortable silence. I was hopeful that things would blow over once we got a little space from each other. When I jumped out of Eliot’s truck and headed straight for my car with just that in mind, Eliot was around the truck and his hand was on my arm in an instant.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” I said. “I need some air. You’ve been smothering me for days. It’s not cute anymore.”

“You’re not just leaving.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” I reminded him. “You’re not my father.”

“And you’re not a child, so stop acting like one,” Eliot shot back.

“Eliot,” I took a deep and steadying breath. “You don’t want to be around me anymore than I want to be around your right now. If I stay here, we are going to say terrible things to each other – and we might not be able to take them back.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re in danger,” Eliot countered.

“You think I’m in danger,” I corrected him. “I think it could have just been a coincidence. Even if it wasn’t, though, I’m in no danger as long as I stay off the freeways. I’ll take Gratiot back to my house.” I thought it was a reasonable compromise.

“I said no,” Eliot said stubbornly.

“Well, I say yes,” I shot back. “And of the two people here, I’m the one that’s the boss of me.”

“You’re just doing this because you know I’m right,” Eliot bellowed.

I glanced around the street and noticed we were starting to draw a crowd. Theater in the street is amusing for everyone – except those directly involved. I lowered my voice when I spoke again. “You’re jealous of Jake, and I don’t know what to do about that. You’re acting out because of that.”

“Maybe I am.”

I was shocked by his admission.

“Maybe I’m jealous because you’re always worried about Jake’s feelings. Maybe I’m jealous because Jake is always rushing to your rescue. Maybe I’m jealous because
Jake looked like he was going to blow an artery when he found out we spent the night together even though we’re adults and that’s what adults do.”

“I can’t do anything about Jake’s feelings,” I said helplessly.

“And what about your feelings?” Eliot turned the conversation around on me.

“My feelings? What feelings?”

“Don’t,” Eliot took a step towards me angrily. “Don’t sit there and pretend that I’m imagining all of this.”

“Imagining what?” Now I really was lost.

“There’s still something there between you and Jake,” Eliot said. “I see it. I keep telling myself I’m imagining it. I see it, though. I’m not oblivious. It’s in the way he looks at you. It’s in the way you look at him.”

“I’m not with Jake,” I said. “I’m with you.”

“Yeah, but for how long? Just until you and Jake stop playing games? Am I even a real person to you? Or am I just the guy you’re going to play house with until Jake gets his head out of his ass and you grow up?”

I was stunned by the question. “How can you even ask that?”

“It’s how I feel,” Eliot said darkly. “Every time I see the two of you together it’s like a punch in the gut. I know you have feelings for him.”

I decided to try a different tactic. “He’s always going to be part of my life,” I said. “We grew up together. We spent years together. Every dumb teenage thing I ever did was with him and Derrick. He’s my past, though. I can differentiate between the past and the present. I’m with you.”

“He’s in your present, though,” Eliot said bitterly.

“I can’t do anything about that,” I said cautiously – yet firmly. “Our jobs overlap. It is what it is.”

“Well,” Eliot blew out a long and shuddering breath. “Maybe I need you to cut him out of your life.”

I felt as if the air had been knocked out of me. “You know I can’t do that.”

Eliot’s dark eyes weren’t angry anymore. They were just tired. “Well, I think you have a choice to make.”

“I’ve already made that choice,” I said shrilly.

“Then why does it feel that you haven’t?”

“You’re just overtired,” I said desperately. “You just need to sleep and recharge and then everything will be fine.”

“It won’t be fine,” Eliot argued. “I’m not just going to sit here and pretend that this isn’t a real problem. I’m not going to pretend that my feelings don’t matter.”

“And I’m not going to be dictated to,” I said quietly.

“Then I guess we both have some things to think about,” Eliot replied sadly.

I guess we did – and boy was Tad Ludington going to pay for this fight. I was really pissed now.

Once I got in my car, I thought I knew where I was going. I was so frustrated, though, that I meandered throughout the middle of the county for a full hour – just daring someone to take a shot at me in my car – before heading home.

When I got to the house, I realized I hadn’t been there in days. Eliot’s irritation with Lexie had basically had me ceding my home turf to her – and that just roiled up my anger anew. I couldn’t understand why Eliot was being so ridiculous.

The truth was, as much as I thought Eliot was overreacting, I also thought there might have been a germ of truth in his statements. I was still tied to Jake. I did still care about him – enough that I didn’t want him to get his feelings hurt. Did I love him, though? I searched my heart for the answer. I kept coming back to the same answer: Eliot was a jerk and Jake blaming me for this situation was completely unfair.

I slammed into the house and found Lexie lounging on the couch watching
General Hospital
. “Why didn’t you go up to grandpa’s court hearing?” I barked the question in obvious anger and I felt instant regret when the confused – and hurt – look washed over Lexie’s face.

“I didn’t have a ride,” Lexie said. “I don’t have a car, remember?”

I had forgotten. “Well, you could have ridden with Derrick.”

“He left before I found out. I called him. I called you, too.”

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket haughtily. I would have heard my phone if it rang. I realized I had it set to silent and that the screen was showing three missed calls – all from Lexie. “It’s set on silent,” I grumbled, throwing myself onto the couch next to Lexie.

“What crawled up your butt and died?” Lexie asked curiously.

“Eliot.”

“What did he do? Does he want you to kick me out again?”

“When are you finding a place of your own?” I turned to her. If I was going to be spending more time at my own house, then Lexie was going to have to go.

Lexie didn’t look thrilled with the change in conversation topic. “What did Eliot do?”

“He thinks I’m still in love with Jake.”

Lexie tilted her head to the side as she considered the statement. “You love him; you’re not in love with him.”

I pursed my lips at her attempted psychology. “What does that even mean?”

“It means that you love him, like you love me,” Lexie said simply. When she caught sight of the look I was shooting in her direction, she decided to expand. “Well, not exactly like you love me. It’s more of a friendship love.”

“Why do you think that?”

“You guys were together for a long time,” Lexie said. “You have a lot of history. Eliot should be aware of that. It shouldn’t threaten him.”

“He says that I’m worried about hurting Jake’s feelings – and he did have a weird reaction when he found out Eliot and I had spent the night together,” I said.

“Jake isn’t stupid,” Lexie said. “He knows he can’t be with you. You have careers that aren’t compatible – and lifestyles.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that you’re perfectly happy spending a night with your X-Box and a Lego game and he’s got four nights a week of dinners and public appearances,” Lexie explained calmly. “You’re not fit for that lifestyle. Getting dressed up, making small talk with people – that’s just not you.”

She had a point.

“Jake knows that in his head, his heart just might be lagging a little bit,” Lexie continued sympathetically.

“He dates women all the time,” I pointed out.

“He does,” Lexie said. “Jake is happy with the direction his life has taken. Let’s be honest, when we were kids, his life could have gone to the county jail via a different route.”

That was definitely true.

“Jake made a decision to choose the life that he wanted,” Lexie said. “He made that decision at a young age. He’s happy with his decision and, at least for now, he’s set with that decision.”

“And I made a decision on how I wanted to live my life,” I replied knowingly.

Lexie shook her dark head and snorted through her ski-slope nose. “You haven’t decided what kind of life you’re going to live yet.”

“I own a house,” I reminded her. “I’m a reporter.”

“That’s where you live and what you do,” Lexie countered. “That’s not how you want to live your life.”

“What are you babbling about? Is this some spiritual crap from those yoga retreats you keep talking about?” She was starting to bug me.

“You’re not a fully formed adult yet,” Lexie said. “I’m not either. Jake is a fully formed adult earlier than most of us. There’s a reason he’s the youngest sheriff in Macomb County history. He’s just more mature and more driven than us.”

I wasn’t exactly comfortable with her lumping the two of us in the same maturity bunch. “I still don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Jake knows who he is and he knows that you’re not who he should be with,” Lexie said. “That doesn’t mean a part of him doesn’t want that to be different. He’s drawn to you. He’s got a lot of feelings tied up in his past with you. His heart tells him he should be with you even though his head knows that it would never work – at least right now.”

I opened my mouth and Lexie silenced me with a look. “You know that you want Eliot, but a part of your heart is always going to belong to Jake because he was your first love. That’s not wrong. It’s not a slap at Eliot. It’s just human nature.”

“Why don’t you explain that to Eliot,” I grumbled.

“Eliot knows it,” Lexie said. “He’s just worked up right now. He’ll get over it. He’s addicted to you – like a drug.”

“That’s a scary thought.”

“The three of you are just going to have to find a happy medium that you can all coexist in,” Lexie said. “Jake is going to, eventually, find someone that he’s actually suited for. Someone that he can love. Someone that will make him realize that maybe it’s time to let you go. You and Eliot will grow up and get a little more grounded.”

“I guess,” I sighed. “Then Jake will get married and Eliot will calm down.” The thought of Jake getting married – even if it was in some amorphous future -- gave my heart a small twinge.

“Then, when everything is settled between the four of you, that’s when things are going to get interesting,” Lexie said.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, once you’re an actual adult, things are going to be a lot tougher,” Lexie laughed.

“I still don’t know what that means.”

“Once you’re an adult, once you’ve grown up a little bit, then you’re going to realize that you can fit into Jake’s world and that’s when things are going to get difficult,” Lexie said. “You’re going to stop wearing
Star Wars
shirts everywhere and realize that being an adult isn’t so bad after all.”

“You just said . . .”

“I said you’re not an adult now,” Lexie replied. “I didn’t say you would never be one. I said you weren’t mature enough for Jake now. I didn’t say you never would be.”

“You’re making an awful lot of assumptions,” I said. “And I’m always going to wear
Star Wars
shirts. How do you know all this?”

“I have the gift,” Lexie cracked a smile. “I can see the future.”

“Are you smoking pot again?”

“No,” Lexie scowled. “I’m just saying that I can see your future. I could always see your future. Jake is always going to be in that future – one way or another.”

“And how do you, oh wise one, see this all shaking out?”

“If I was a Magic Eight Ball I would read: Ask me again later,” Lexie said. “I think your future could go either way, at this point, and both directions will be good for you. You’ll be happy either way.”

“And what does your future hold?” I asked curiously.

Lexie smiled. “I will be rich, famous and have a lot of sex.”

“Good for you,” I laughed.

“Good for me indeed.”

“You’re going to have your own place in this future, right?”

“Just let it go.”