8 Class Pets + 1 Squirrel ÷ 1 Dog = Chaos (6 page)

Master lives right next door to the school he owns, so I get to see him a lot. Sometimes he brings me to meet the children there. This would be a perfect place to live—except for that nasty squirrel Twitch.

Twitch acts like he owns the yard.

He eats the seeds Master puts out for the birds.

He jumps from tree to tree just out of reach and calls down to me that people like squirrels better than they like dogs. He says that's why Master ties me to a long rope leash when I'm in the yard. He says that's why Master puts me on a short chain leash when we go for a walk.

“No leash for me, nuh-uh,” Twitch brags.

He runs back and forth just beyond where the leash stretches to. He says, “Ha-ha! Your master doesn't make me wear a collar and leash to keep me in one place. He must not trust you, Cuddles.”

Twitch seems to wait for me to be watching before he'll climb into the garbage can at the edge of the playground. “Oh, Cuddles!” he'll say. “There's wonderful, tasty garbage in here today! Here's a French fry! And half a baloney sandwich! And some macaroni and cheese! I can't remember: Do you like macaroni and cheese, Cuddles?”

I stand there drooling, knowing I can't cross the short distance to get into that delightful-sounding garbage can.

Sometimes the only way to avoid Twitch is to go to sleep.

That's what I was doing when Twitch ran right over my nose.

Yow! That hurt!

I just knew he did it on purpose, and I went running after him. I was so mad that I ran so fast that the rope leash broke. I kept on running, pulling that long rope with me.

An owl was chasing Twitch, too. I don't know what Twitch did to get
her
mad. But I saw Twitch was heading for the school. The man who works for Master cleaning and repairing the building had hung a big banner over the door that said
WELCOME
because Master had invited special guests to come the next day. The man had left the door open while he was putting his ladder back in his truck.

“Don't you
dare
go into Master's school,” I shouted at Twitch.

Guess what.

He ignored me.

In he went, as though he owned the place—just the way he acts as though he owns the yard.

The owl knew school was off-limits. “He's all yours,” she said, winging away.

I was in the right. But the trouble was, all the pets took Twitch's side.

From room to room I went, chasing Twitch. A few things got knocked down or spilled or broken—but it was all Twitch's fault.

Those pets all worked together—even animals that
shouldn't
work together.

Finally, they knocked a big box on top of me. It was dark in there. I wasn't sure if that snake had been trapped inside with me or not, because the pine shavings kind of smelled like him. He didn't look like the kind of snake who bites, but you can't trust snakes. I hunkered down and sat quiet.

I could hear the pets laughing out in the hall and having a good time together. It was like a party!

The squirrel was telling jokes—mostly to do with me.

And the hamster and the parrot were telling everyone about how their names came from books, and they were all acting like that was a big deal.

And the rabbit was saying they needed to get out and get together more often—and they had to figure out a way for the squirrel to join them, too! And she asked the rat if he could open all the cages again the next day.

And the rat said yes, in between carrying on about something or other to do with Cinderella.

And the turtle said they could all work on an art project together.

And the geckos were saying they knew how to make a working volcano, and did anyone want to see?