A Beautiful Fall (14 page)

“Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Will said. “I was afraid we’d wake you with all our banging around down here.”

“Banging around down here first thing in the morning is a good thing. Anyone else in the mood for pancakes?”

Will looked like a contractor in work jeans and T-shirt. Michael stepped around the corner holding a white Styrofoam cup of coffee.

“Morning, Michael,” she said, her eyes remembering the night before.

“Morning, Emma,” he said, tipping his head like a cowboy wearing a hat.

“So, are we to understand you’re volunteering to make pancakes?” Will asked.

“Well, I want to make some contribution. Besides, pancakes, bacon, and coffee just sound so good.” She breezed by Michael. “So what’s up with Bo this morning? Aren’t you both supposed to be doing some roofing project?”

“We’re dividing the work. He’s continuing with the Macintosh place. Depending on how quickly things go here, I’ll probably help him wrap up roofing first part of next week. But today? It’s all about the home office. This is where it starts to get fun.”

“Well, you know where you can find me when you need a woman’s opinion.”

Emma walked into the kitchen. Will had started a fresh pot of coffee, and she could smell it as soon as she walked in.

o o o

In a kitchen on the other side of Juneberry, Samantha Connor placed her hand on her stomach, feeling the baby kick inside her womb.

Two more weeks
, Samantha thought to herself while she unloaded warm clothes from the dryer. Samantha found the portable phone they’d lost track of the night before sitting on the washing machine, then silently chastised herself for her absentmindedness. Pregnancy, she told Jim, had numbed her mind. She dialed Jim’s number.

“It’s me. Sorry to bug you, but I just wanted to call and see how your day is going.”

After more than twenty years of marriage, Samantha knew Jim would hear the feelings behind the words. He knew all of the reasons she might be calling. He knew about her insecurities, her fear of spiders, that she’d never learned to swim, that she cried sometimes while watching greeting-card commercials on TV.

“Things are fine here, honey. How’s everything at home?”

“Oh fine, Noel’s upstairs playing his guitar and Beth’s already left for school. I’m downstairs folding laundry.”

“Anything on your mind?”

“No, I’m just thinking I’d give Emma a call this morning to see how she’s doing. I’m so glad we got a chance to talk this week, and Christina says they had a good time yesterday. I was considering inviting all the ladies over here on Sunday afternoon. What do you think about that?”

“Sounds fine as long as you feel up to it.”

Samantha opened the lid to the washing machine and tumbled in a new load of laundry.

“I’m just thinking about a small ladies’ tea. Nothing fancy. Just some sandwiches on the deck if it’s warm enough. Otherwise, we’ll have it indoors.”

“Sure, I think that’s a great idea. I’d just make sure Beth helps you with the cleaning. Noel and I can pitch in too, then bug out so you have the place to yourselves. You just don’t want to take it all on yourself.”

Samantha shut the top of the washing machine and picked up a powder blue laundry basket filled with warm clothing. She carried it into the living room cradling the portable phone against her shoulder.

“I won’t do too much, but I want it to be nice. I’ll have to check the weather and see what’s it’s going to do that day.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time.”

Samantha set the basket on the sofa and sat down next to it. She wore an old pink robe and slippers, the only things in her closet she could really feel comfortable in. She backed her feet out of the heelless slippers and felt the coarseness of the carpet against her toes.

“Jim?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you still glad you married me?”

“Yes, of course I am. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. When I compare myself to Emma and Christina, I just feel like I haven’t done very much with myself.”

Samantha scooted back, letting herself sink a little deeper into the cushions of the old couch. She felt as big as a house, unattractive, and unlovable.

“Why is it women always compare themselves to each other? Sam, we have a wonderful marriage, two nearly grown children, and a new baby on the way. Instead of asking whether you’ve done enough, why don’t you ask yourself if you’re happy and if you enjoy your life?”

“I’m grateful for all that, I am, but they just lead such adventurous lives. Emma’s a successful lawyer, Christina writes books and gets to travel around the country. I feel like all I ever get to do is fold clothes and make babies.”

“Samantha, that’s not true. You’ve stayed at home so our kids can have a full-time mom. You make the house a pleasure for all of us who live there, and your cinnamon coffee cake is the envy of the office here. Our family wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t there doing everything you do.”

“I know, but I want to do something special with my life too. I want to make a difference.”

“Noel and Beth are something special. In just a few weeks, we’ll have another special creation in our home to love and enjoy. You get the privilege of helping grow that new baby into all God wants him to be.”

Samantha let out a long, exasperated sigh. She propped her arm on the basket like an armrest, feeling its warmth against her skin.

“Then why am I so down on myself? I love our family and I really do like being a mom.”

“Because what we’re doing is hard work, Sam. Everybody has the same fantasy of dropping everything and going off on some grand, exciting adventure.”

Samantha laid her head against the back of the sofa wishing it was Jim’s shoulder.

“Do you ever dream that? About going somewhere away from the pressure?”

“Heck yeah! But the difference is I get to escape from my pressures at a place called
home
. It’s what you do for me and everyone in our family that makes that possible.”

A smile appeared on Samantha’s face. Jim’s words had worked their wonder, renewing Samantha’s spirit just like the time he’d brought her a bouquet of yellow jessamine, her favorite flower, that day in July. He always seemed to know just what words to say and it startled her to think where she’d be without him.

“I love you,” she told him simply, because it was never easy for Samantha to find the right words. Not the way Jim could.

“I love you, too, hon. We’re still going to the Whitfields’ barn dance on Saturday night, right?”

“Oh my gosh, I’d completely forgotten about that.”

“Well, there’s your fun and excitement, Sam. Country music, hayride, apple cider. Some of your favorite things. Sounds pretty wild and crazy to me.”

“I wonder if Emma knows about the dance. It sort of snuck up on us with everything going on this week. I know Christina and Bo are going.”

“There’s another reason to call Emma.”

“Yes, it is,” Samantha laughed. It wasn’t a cruise down the Riviera, but she knew she loved her life.

“Okay, I feel much better. Gotta go.”

“What a second! Now that you’re back to normal and don’t need me anymore, you’re just going to throw me aside?”

Samantha got up from the sofa and peered around the corner, taking the phone with her, making sure Noel hadn’t come downstairs.

“No, I’m going to cook you pork tenderloin tonight,” she said in a whisper, “and think up some
other
ways to show you how much I love you.”

“Right back atcha.”

o o o

Emma tunneled through the stacks of canned and dried goods, boxes of Wheat and Corn Chex that had been carried in from the pantry. She carved out a space to cook breakfast and a place at the table for the three of them to eat.

It was after nine when Emma called her dad and Michael in for breakfast, but she barely had to call—the smell of bacon frying in an iron skillet spoke loud enough to draw them away from work. A stack of silver dollar pancakes rested on an antique serving plate she’d found in the china cabinet.

“If it feels like we’re on a camping trip in here, I’m sorry,” Emma said, apologizing for the state of the kitchen.

“I’m impressed you were able to make breakfast at all,” Will said, as the three of them sat down at the table. “It all looks so nice, does anybody mind if I say grace?”

Will offered thanks for the meal. A loud boom of thunder clapped just as they opened their eyes from prayer. In the darkening skies above them, a familiar rain began pouring again.

“Looks like Bo’s done for the day,” Michael said. “Glad I have somewhere indoors to work.”

“Looks like this storm is going to hang around for a while,” Will remarked.

“I hope it clears out by tomorrow,” Emma said. “Samantha called to invite us all to the Whitfields’ barn dance. Do you know anything about that?”

“Honey, everyone knows about the Whitfields’ fall dance,” Will said. “They’ve hosted one every year for the last six or seven. Michael, you’ve been before, right?”

“Can’t say I have,” Michael answered, cutting into his pancake.

“What did Samantha say, Emma?”

“She just said she and Jim were going, Christina and Bo, too, I guess.”

“Why don’t the two of you go?” Will said. “If the rain clears, the Whitfield farm will be beautiful. Frank really takes care of the place.”

“You want to go?” Michael asked.

On the surface the question seemed to ask for an easy answer, but scratching a little deeper, this had all the markings of a real date, a second date.

“Sure,” Emma said. “We can all go as a group.”

“I think you’re in for a wonderful time,” Will said. “Once this rain stops, it’s going to be a beautiful fall. Speaking of rain, I just remembered leaving my bedroom window cracked upstairs.”

Will carried his breakfast plate to the sink. “I like the fresh air at night, but I don’t much like a soggy bedspread.”

Will left for upstairs.

“Michael …”

“Emma, don’t worry about last night or tomorrow night. They don’t have to mean anything. We’ll go and have a good time, and that’s all it has to be.”

“This feels awkward,” she admitted. “I don’t mean to presume anything. I’d love to go to the Whitfields’ with you, but I’m going back to Boston next week. Can we just say we’re going as friends?”

Michael stood up. Following Will’s example, he took his breakfast plate to the counter near the sink and set it down.

“You’re right, Emma, this is awkward. And we are only friends. I’m helping your dad because it’s what folks in Juneberry do. Well, that, and we agreed on a fair price so it’s a good job for me, too. I asked you to dinner last night because you looked like you’d fallen into a shredder and needed some down time. As for the Whitfields’ tomorrow night, it’s like square dancing––everybody needs a partner and it just makes sense for us to match up.”

Emma studied his face. His brow scrunched up just a little before he continued.

“Emma, I learned long ago that we’re different people. I’m as attached to everyone here in Juneberry as an oak tree is rooted to the earth. I think you’re more like a leaf. When the wind blows, it picks you up and carries you someplace far away. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s your life, but you don’t have to explain to me how it all works and how you’ve got to go back. I don’t expect you to do anything less.”

Michael exited the kitchen and went back to work. Emma sat at the kitchen table, her mind spinning thoughts of Michael like she was flipping through channels on TV. She cleaned up the kitchen and went upstairs to take a shower. As she dressed afterward, she heard her cell phone ring. She had to dig through the unmade bed to find it.

“Emma? Hey, it’s Lara. How’s it going down there in Hooterville? Seriously, we’re all starting to miss you up here in civilization.”

“Hi, Lara. I miss you, too. So, what’s the latest at the shop?”

Emma sat on her bed brushing tangles from her wet hair.

“Well, you’re at the top of Adler’s poo-poo list. He’s not used to
not
getting his way around here, and the meeting with Northeast Federal today is huge! Just
what
were you thinking when you said you wouldn’t be here?”

“I just couldn’t make it, Lara. I’m right in the middle of things.”

“Well, that’s not how it’s going over here. I just thought you should know people in the office are divided over whether you’re quitting your job, or making some power statement with Adler after your amazing victory in court this week. Odds are three to one on the latter.”

“This has nothing to do with that,” Emma said, defensiveness creeping into her voice. “I’m helping my dad put his life back in order. I wish I could make it sound more complicated than that, but it isn’t.”

“Hey, I get it, but saying no to Robert and missing this meeting has got everybody in the office talking. I think he sees your not being here as some kind of betrayal.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’ve taken some time off for a family emergency, that’s all. He knows that.”

“Honey, I totally understand, but Robert’s hung a star on your door and he expects you to perform. Today’s meeting is like opening night at Carnegie Hall to him, only his star, you, says she won’t go on. Do you get it?”

“Okay, I get it.”

Emma dropped the hairbrush onto the bed and stood to pace the room.

“Lara, I’ve never realized how hard it is to balance work and family,” Emma confessed. “Until now, this hasn’t been an issue.”

“Well, to be completely honest with you, Em, until now, you haven’t had a family.”

Emma made a sound like air was stuck in her throat.

“Lara, I’ve always had a family, it’s just that I’ve made work my priority. It blows my mind that it’s only taken four days of shifting my focus to completely upset the apple cart.”

“Well, I know of a way to get the cart back on its wheels.”

“What’s that?” Emma asked, standing in the stormy light of the bay window, looking out over the farm damp with fresh rain.

“Robert wants you patched into the meeting this afternoon via conference call. He instructed me to call you this morning to set it up.”