A Bit of Heaven on Earth (2 page)

“I think we’ve both had enough of the merriment, don’t you agree?”

For a moment, she detected a mischievous glint in his eyes, then it was gone. Had it been a mere shadow? She gripped her hands tightly in her lap.

She lowered her eyes demurely. “Whatever you say, my lord.”

Her new husband chuckled. “You need not be meek with me, Elizabeth. I know a strong-willed woman when I see one. I have even heard a few tales about you. Quite interesting ones indeed.”

She looked at him quickly. “What tales?” She studied him carefully. “Mayhap you are not as wise as I was led to believe, my lord, if you heard such tales and still chose to marry me.”

He suppressed a smile. “Oh, I believe I know exactly what I have gotten myself into, wife of mine.” He rose and offered her his hand. “Come.”

They made their way through the Great Hall, drunken revelers shouting their good wishes to them. Elizabeth met her father’s eyes defiantly before turning and ascending the stairs with her husband.

Her husband.

Her stomach lurched, bringing a wave of nausea. God in Heaven, what would come next? Actually, she had more than an inkling of what would be expected of her. When a child, she’d caught couples on three separate occasions in the stables, naked as newborns they were, caught up in their lovemaking. She’d thought the act disgusting. Besides, she knew it must be quite hurtful, as both the men and women cried out and quivered and moaned as if in great agony.

She’d also seen babes born on a few occasions. If that kind of pain was the result of a quick coupling, she decided long ago to have none of it. Her own mother had died in childbirth when Elizabeth was but two. The babe that came from her lived only a few hours. Why would women put themselves through something of that nature?

No, Elizabeth decided long ago that physical love was not for her. She’d had no mother to correct her assumptions. She liked her life exactly the way it had been. Why ruin it? She didn’t need or want love. Instead, she desired more than anything to learn. To travel. A thousand experiences would be more gratifying than the act of love.

Yet here she was, ready to do the very thing she found loathsome. She knew nothing she could do or say would prevent her new husband from exercising his rights by law. Any independence she’d once possessed ended with the vows she uttered in front of dozens of witnesses. She was little more than chattel to Aldred of Kentwood, and beyond the ample dowry her father provided, she had no value to this man.

Aldred led her down a large hallway lined in stone and lit by sconces. Her heart pounded with each step she made, echoing in her ears. They reached the solar all too quickly, and Aldred opened the heavy wooden door and motioned her inside. She quickly took in that her personal possessions had been transferred from her chamber while she’d been at the ceremony and subsequent feast. Her brush lay on a table by the bed. Her blue bed robe had been draped across a chair.

Elizabeth’s stomach rebelled at the thought of sharing intimate details of her life with anyone, much less losing all privacy to a stranger—especially one who would force her into all kinds of vile acts. She knew from experience to show no weakness, whether to friend or foe. She sucked in a quick breath and then exhaled slowly, hoping it would calm her.

She held her head high. She would dance to Aldred’s tune in the bedroom if she must, but she refused to lose herself. She could learn to control this new husband of hers, learn to placate him, even live a separate life from him. She’d heard many couples did just that. Beyond the bedroom, they rarely even spoke. She hoped Aldred would subscribe to this kind of marriage. She doubted she could tolerate more.

“Have a seat, Elizabeth. Let us talk and get to know one another a bit. We have not been given time to do so, in part due to the haste in which Fayne insisted that our marriage take place.” A shadow crossed his face. “I am sorry for the way you were brought here. ‘Twas not my wish to see you come to Kentwood in such a manner.”

He gave her a small smile. “Please. Come and sit. I would take care to know my new wife.”

Though her legs were a bit wobbly, she managed to glide to the proffered seat as if being alone with a strange, old man was the most natural thing in the world. Aldred took the seat opposite her, slipping off his shoes and propping his crossed feet upon the hearth.

“Good idea,” she proclaimed, and she did likewise. He looked shocked at first and then laughed with approval.

“Your father said you were . . . high-spirited.” His eyes glowed with unspoken approval. “I think we will do quite well together, my dear. Let us speak frankly and learn about one another.”

He poured wine for them both, and Elizabeth let him talk on a bit as she sipped the sweetened liquid. Aldred explained that he’d been married twice before. She’d met his two children earlier at the marriage feast, a son who was his mirror image and a shy wisp of a daughter with raven hair. The long day was such a blur she couldn’t even recall their names now. As he spoke, she gradually began to relax a little. He seemed a decent sort. Maybe this act of love could happen quickly and be done with.

Aldred reached over and took her hand in his gnarled one. “I made both my wives happy, Elizabeth. I hope I can make you so.”

Her stomach knotted as Aldred stood and gently pulled her to her feet. He kissed her forehead with surprising tenderness and led her to the curtained bed.

“I know this is awkward, my dear. I shall leave you to prepare. I will return in—”

“No,” Elizabeth interjected. If he left, her fears would grow. She might even try to slip out of the castle. She wouldn’t cause him the embarrassment of having to track down a runaway bride in front of all his guests, not when he’d already tried so hard to be kind to her.

“I am ready to do my duty now, Husband. Simply tell me what ‘tis expected. I had no mother. I fear I am ill-prepared in this venture.”

He studied her. The flickering shadows from the candles played across his lined face. She locked her knees together and stood her ground. She took a deep breath and steadied herself.

“I see. Loosen your hair, then pull the curtains back and climb upon the bed. I will do my best in initiating you into the mysteries of marriage." He touched her cheek and stroked it. “Do not fear me, Elizabeth. You have great spirit. I would not see that change.”

His words brought her some comfort. She did as he instructed, pulling the caul from her head and unbinding her mass of curls. She pushed the curtains away and thought she should at least remove her surcoat and cote-hardie. Without turning, she wordlessly slipped out of them and tossed the garments aside, though she wouldn’t part with her kirtle. The thought of his old, weathered hands touching her bare skin caused her to tremble. She eased upon the raised bed and settled onto her back. Her heart raced. Her limbs felt stiff and heavy.

Despite the amount of wine she’d drunk, she found her mouth had gone dry. She bit her lip again as Aldred went about the room, extinguishing candles, leaving the fire as the only light in the room. As he began to disrobe, she closed her eyes. She swallowed hard as he joined her upon the bed, drawing the curtains.

Aldred talked to her softly, murmuring words of comfort as he explained what they both would do. Elizabeth nodded, her voice failing her. She could do this. She would do this.

It didn’t go as he said it would. Oh, he touched her face and kissed her gently, caressed his hands up and down her body, cupped her breasts as she lay there, wishing herself far away. Yet when it came time for him to enter her, something was wrong.

Fearing his wrath, she said meekly, “I am sorry, my lord. Perhaps I did not quite understand what I am to do. This doesn’t seem to be going according to your plan.”

Her husband sighed and rolled from atop her, coming to rest beside her. He stared blankly up at the ceiling. Elizabeth lay motionless. Then her natural curiosity could stand no more. She turned to her side, propping her head upon her elbow.

“What am I doing wrong, my lord? If you will but explain things again, ‘tis certain I will get it right this time. I have always been a quick learner.”

Aldred’s head turned. His eyes took her in. Elizabeth saw a trace of a smile play about his thin lips.

He reached out and touched her hair, smoothing it. The gesture comforted her. “’Tis nothing you’ve done wrong, child. I cannot make love to you.”

She was puzzled. “Why not? You are the one that knows how. You have done this many times in the past. If we are to accomplish this deed, then I must follow your lead. Of course, once I have mastered the task, I’d be happy to take the lead upon occasion.”

Aldred’s laugh was rich and deep. He reached out a hand, and his thumb brushed against her cheek tenderly. “Ah, my sweet wife. My very own Elizabeth.” He sighed. “‘Tis an apology I must make to you.”

He cupped her face in one hand. “I am old, my dear. And when men reach my age, many times they cannot perform the marital act. It becomes physically impossible. I thought a young, beautiful girl would make a difference. Now, in my folly, I see that it does not.”

Elizabeth tried to hide her growing excitement. She wouldn’t have to couple, after all. She sought to reassure Aldred, for whom she already felt a strong fondness. “’Tis all right, my husband. If we cannot do this thing, then so be it. My loyalty remains with you.”

He shook his head.

“No, ‘twould not be fair to you, child. You are young and have a lifetime ahead of you. ‘Twill be babes you’ll soon want. ‘Twill be a man’s love that you’ll need.”

He sat up. “I shall see that our marriage is annulled. ‘Twill free you for another, one closer to your own age.”

“No,” she said firmly. She pushed up till she was in a sitting position and took his rough hand in hers, holding it tightly. “I refuse to see you humiliated in such a way, my lord. I swore before God and guests to this marriage, and ‘twill be so.”

Aldred squeezed her fingers. “No. I cannot ask this of you. I have already been fool enough.”

She smiled shyly. This new husband of hers was considerate and not quite the monster she’d conjured up in her mind. He seemed most reasonable. Mayhap she could strike a bargain with him.

“Actually, my lord, ‘twould be you doing me the favor. You already have children, and I can be mother to them. As you said, we seem to suit. I would stay and learn from you.”

A look of puzzlement crossed his face. “Learn from me?”

“Yes.” Elizabeth looked at him in earnest. This would be her chance to escape her father’s constant nagging. She could not return to Aldwyn, especially since she knew better than to trust him. She would not be forced to marry against her will, especially a man that might not be as reasonable as Aldred.

“I can read and write a little. Would you be willing to teach me more, about all manner of things? Help me learn all about Kentwood and how to run a household? Allow me to be independent? I would answer to no man but you alone?”

Aldred eyed her and then shook his head. “It would not be fair to you.”

She smiled sweetly at him. Often, her smile convinced her father when nothing else could. “In exchange, I will show you the utmost respect and affection, both in private and before the world. I shall never share what has passed between us here.”

He sized her up. “You drive a hard bargain, my lady. So you would stay with an old man till my time is up?”

She took both his hands in hers, eager for him to agree to her proposal. “’Tis my fondest wish, my lord. I promise to be with you always, caring for you, even until the end.”

He laughed aloud, the sound of his mirth like sweet music to her ears. “I suppose ‘tis not every day a man of my age gets such a magnanimous offer.” He kissed her cheek. “You have your bargain, my lady. I will hold you to it. I will be your teacher and your closest friend. I will cherish you till my dying day and do whatever I can to please you in every way.”

He lay back upon the pillow, pulling her down to rest next to him. “Let’s get some rest, Wife,” he whispered softly.

Elizabeth lay next to him, awake for some hours, while Aldred snored softly. It made her slightly uncomfortable being so close to him, but he was clean, had most of his teeth, and she knew he would never mistreat her. She finally fell asleep, dreaming about all the things she would do—the books she would read in his library, helping him run his estate, maybe even learning swordplay. Excitement filled her at such prospects.

And if she had to mother his children, so be it. How difficult could that be?

CHAPTER 1

Ashgrove, the north of England, 1355

Gillian groaned as pain racked her body yet again. Cold sweat drenched her hair and the very bedclothes. She wanted it to be over. Twinges and tingles had turned from dull aches over the past months to this jarring pain, something far worse than childbirth all those years ago.

She smiled, thinking of Gavin, and wished he could be here at the end to hold her hand. The thought of her brave, handsome son brought the only comfort she’d known in days. With his image, though, guilt flooded her, as strong as any of the suffering that flowed through her now.

“What might I do to comfort you, my lady?”

She despaired as Father Michael, the doddering priest who barely knew his own name nowadays, leaned over her solicitously.

“You cannot give me physical solace, Father, but you can let me go to God with a clear conscience.”

The priest looked confused. “My lady has always been most pious in her devotions. I have often thought a cloistered life would have suited you well.”

Gillian sucked in her breath as another shot of agony, hot as liquid fire, poured through her withered body. God punished her now for the sins of her youth. She had spent a lifetime trying to make it up to Him. Apparently, her devotion hadn’t been enough to please Him. Mayhap her final words would.

“’Tis time, Father, for my last confession,” she managed to say. “Then the last rites.”

Suddenly, her husband stormed in. Berwyn was the last person she cared to see at her dying moment. She closed her eyes, willing him to go away. What if her wasted body expired before she could make her peace with God?