A Breath of Heaven: El Camino Real (9 page)

Again, a wave of longing swamped her body
and soul. He wanted her.
He wanted her
. She stood at the bar and
considered what that meant. Damn! What she wouldn’t give to know what it was
like to be loved for just one night. Hugging herself, she imagined his arms
around her, holding her, loving her. Abby knew she could never ask for forever.

But maybe she could ask for now…

…if she was careful.

For the rest of the evening, Abby
contemplated the possibility. The more she thought about it, the more
impossible it seemed. There were wedding activities she couldn’t get out of, so
she endured – paying about half attention, her mind always on Cade. At one of
Pam’s wedding showers at a neighbor’s house, a party strictly held to gift the
bride with sexy lingerie – it hit her. Abby endured Pam’s relatives, oohed and
ahhhed over baby doll sets, thongs and sheer nighties, but when she was given a
pair of crotchless panties as a party favor, she got a crazy, impossible,
intriguing idea. 

Maybe she could wear clothes which would
turn Cade on, yet cover her scars.

Maybe there was a way they could make
love. Darkness and the right clothing could hide a multitude of sins.   

Could she ask him? Would he be willing to
do it her way? And it would only have to be the one time. If it was a complete
disaster, they wouldn’t have to try again. The only thing she had to make sure
was that he never knew what she was hiding.

Abby agonized. Could she do it? Was it
possible?

Finally, Abby decided it was worth a try.
Spending the rest of her life alone was her destiny. Years and years of
loneliness loomed large. One night. One night with someone she loved was not
too much to ask. Maybe. 

When the men came at the end of the
evening to help cart the gifts and packages back to the main house for the
happy couple, Cade was with Jase. The moment he walked through the door, he
zeroed in on Abby.

All right. This was it. Taking a deep
breath, she shored up her courage. Walking up to him, she leaned in, closed her
eyes and just let go. Leaning on his arm, she stood on tiptoe and whispered in
his ear. “Cade, I’ve changed my mind. I want to make love with you.”

You could have knocked Cade over with a
feather. He stopped breathing. “Come again?” He asked her to repeat what she’d
said, he had to be sure. If he’d heard Abby correctly, she’d be the one cumming
again and again. When Abby swallowed, blushed, bending her head, he pleaded
with her. “No, really, repeat what you said. “Please.”

She felt herself tremble with nerves, but
she answered anyway. “I want to make love to you, if you still want to.”

Cade felt emotion cascade over his body.
He felt weak with relief. “God, yes!” He couldn’t believe it, Abby wanted him
to make love to her! “You won’t be sorry. I promise you that.” Playing by their
old rules, he would’ve fired back with some kind of smartass remark. Not
tonight. This was too important.

“Let’s go.” Cade held out his hand. He’d
gone instantly hard. His cock had received the message before his brain
processed her request.

Abby let him take her hand. She was
quivering from excitement and a little bit of fear, but Cade made her feel
safe. He always had. Her family watched as they made their exit and she gave
her brothers a casual wave. They waved back, looking pleased. Nothing would
suit them better than if she ended up with Cade, but she knew that wasn’t going
to happen. This was temporary, a one-time thing. 

God, she was nervous.

As they left the building, standing on the
porch, Cade noticed the wet ground. “Come here, baby.” He swept her up in his
arms and carried her toward his truck. Abby’s heart was beating so hard, she
wondered if he could hear it. Glancing up into his face, she saw a pulse point
next to his mouth. Was he nervous too? Impulsively she kissed him there and a
heartbeat later he turned his head and joined his lips with hers. “I can’t wait
to love you.”

“We need to talk first,” she explained
evenly as he put her in the truck and shut the door.

When he climbed into the driver’s seat, he
turned on the engine. “Here.” He handed her an afghan. “Wrap up your legs. The
heater won’t have a chance to get warm.”

That was true. They didn’t have far to
drive. “I’m fine. After our dip in the pond, this is the tropics.”

He laughed, then turned solemn. “Let me
straighten something out with you.” He reached for her hand and clasped it,
rubbing his thumb in her palm. “I want to thank you, Abby. I didn’t handle
things very well last night. You scared me so freakin’ bad. But, I owe you my
life, don’t think I don’t realize that. The time I spent under those black icy
waters seemed like an eternity. I knew I was dead. There was no doubt in my
mind. I’d given up.” He stopped talking, letting his voice trail off, looking
into the distance. “If you hadn’t come to rescue me when you did, we wouldn’t
be sitting here right now. And I want you to know that it was you I thought of,
how I didn’t want to leave you. Not working things out with you was my biggest
regret.”

Abby picked up his hand and kissed it.
She’d analyze all of his wonderful words later, but right now she needed for
him to understand something important. “Cade, there was never a question about
my coming for you. I never hesitated nor thought about it twice. Not once. And
I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” She rubbed her face against his palm. “What
would I do without you? I’d be lost and bored all by myself with no one to
fight with.” Knowing she’d become maudlin, Abby tried to make light of the
situation.

Cade laughed. “You aren’t by yourself,
Shortcake. I’m not going anywhere. You’ve been a part of me for too long. I
don’t want a life without you in it.” He squeezed her hand in understanding.
“Now, what do we need to talk about?”

They pulled up to her house, so she saved
her answer until they were in the warmth of her living room. Her fireplace,
already filled with wood had a gas igniter, so he flipped a switch and there
was instant heat and atmosphere.

“Do you want some hot chocolate?” She
asked, delaying the moment. Tonight she’d dressed up, or at least as dressed up
as Abby King could be. Soothing down the skirt of her short black cocktail
dress, she watched Cade as he took off his coat. He was such a big, beautiful
man. The black jeans and black western shirt he wore fit him to a tee. Couple
his good looks with his reputation, no wonder companies were beating down his
door wanting him to endorse them.    

“Hot chocolate? Sure.” He wanted something
sweet, but it wasn’t chocolate. Abby seemed nervous, so he went along with her
suggestion, even helping her fix two steaming mugs with a pile of gooey
marshmallows on top.

“Let’s sit down in front of the fire.” She
threw some pillows on the floor.

Cade maneuvered down, his bones creaking.
“Man, I’m getting old.”

“No, you’re not. You’re perfect.” Once
she’d made up her mind to tell him the truth, honesty just kept bubbling out of
her. 

He didn’t understand what was going on,
but he didn’t need to. Cade was just thankful for this amazing turn of events –
an answer to prayer. Lord, he wanted her. “I want to make it perfect for you,
Abby.” The fire crackled and hissed. Abby looked everywhere but at him. She was
twenty-six years old, but had an air of precious innocence. Cade was completely
under her spell. “Now, what did you want to talk about?” She took a sip of the
chocolate, leaving foam on her upper lip. He couldn’t resist bending over to
kiss the sweetness away.

Abby was about to pass out from the
intense sensuality of the moment. Still, it was necessary to tell him her
wishes. “First, I want to be with you very much, but I need for it to be in the
dark.”

Cade’s hand froze in the midst of raising
his cup to his mouth. “In the dark?” Didn’t she know how much he’d fantasized
about looking at her body? He sat his cup down, took off his Stetson and ran
his fingers through his hair. “Why in the hell would you want us to make love
in the dark?”

“I just would, please. I need this.”
Firelight danced over the room. The only other light was a lamp by the couch,
but she could see him clear enough. He didn’t often remove his hat. All of the
guys seemed to think it was a necessary part of their wardrobe. But when he
did, she couldn’t help but stare. Cade’s hair was dark, a little on the long
side and had a bit of a wave to it. Abby longed to touch it, and maybe soon
she’d get the chance.

“Don’t you realize how beautiful you are?”
He sought words to convey his feelings to her. “You’re exquisite, Abby.”

She couldn’t answer. Her voice was
paralyzed.

“Look at me.”

Abby raised her eyes.

The look on his face was pleading. “I know
we have a history of wrangling and locking horns, but you have to realize I
acted that way because I couldn’t get my hands on you. I had no other way of
connecting with you.”

“Oh, Cade.” She hugged herself to keep
from reaching out to hug him. “I know, I did the same thing. Fighting with you
was better than nothing.”

“So, you realize – you can do no wrong
with me.” Cade leaned forward, placing his hand on top of hers. 

“Thank you, Cade, but I need to do it this
way. Please?”

“Can you tell me why? Are you shy?” He
couldn’t imagine it. She was always in the middle of anything he or her
brothers did. A look of pain flashed over her face and he realized it was more.
“You can tell me anything, you know.”

“Not this.” She shook her head. Her long
dark hair flowed over her shoulders like a silken waterfall, attracting his
touch. “Not yet.”

“All right. Deal.” Cade gave in. There was
really no question about it. “I’ll take you anyway I can get you.”

“There’s more.” She bit her lower lip. He
waited. “I don’t want you to touch me below my waist, except—”

“Except?” Okay. He was confused. Cade
remembered her panic when she thought he’d undressed her. Something was going
on. “There’s a lot of important stuff below the waist, Abilene.”

His humorous tone made her half giggle,
half cry. God, she couldn’t do this. “Never mind. Bad idea.” Shaking her head,
Abby started to get up, she needed to get away. “Let’s just forget I ever
mentioned this.”

“Hell no, no, never mind.” He caught her
hand, pulling her back down. Cade wanted to touch and kiss every part of her
body. And he was fairly certain his cock wanted a vote in this proposal. “Help
me understand.”

“We can…make love.” There, she’d said it.
“I just need to leave my clothes on, but—” God, she had so many fantasies she’d
never have fulfilled.

“I agree. It doesn’t matter. You can tell
me what you want and how you want it and that’s what we’ll do.” A look of
relief relaxed her pretty face. She was scared. Dammit! He was going to get to
the bottom of this if it killed them both. As his mother always told him when
he was small, half a loaf is better than none. Besides, he had every intention
of pushing the envelope. Once he got her between the sheets, it would be a
whole new ballgame. “I only want to please you, Abby.”

“I want to please you, too.” She admitted.
“Shake?” She held out her hand.

“Shake.” He took her hand, but instead of
a handclasp, Cade pulled her over into his lap. 

“Cade, I need to get ready,” Abby
protested. She wanted to go freshen up and put on the special panties and find
something decent to wear on top, something she could pull down over her
shoulders and free her breasts. Oh, yea, she’d put a lot of thought into this.
Abby wanted as much of Cade as she could get, but she couldn’t bear for him to
see or touch her scars.

“Let me hold you just a second and then
we’ll both get ready for bed. Okay?” Holding her was perfect, he rubbed his
cheek on Abby’s hair, inhaling her sweet scent.

“Okay.” With a sigh, she relaxed into his
embrace and rested her head on his shoulder. “Being around you has always made
me happy, you know, even if we were snarking at one another.”

“Me too.” He chuckled. “I have a
confession,” he whispered. “There was a hotel room in town. I just told Jase to
tell you there was no choice but for me to stay with you because I wanted to be
near you.” Cade decided not to tell her the rest of his plan, there was no use
to scare her off. He was just grateful they had made this much progress.

“Why you…” She grinned at him, then threw
her arms around his neck. “I’m so glad you did.”

“Let’s go to bed, baby. I’m gonna love you
all night long.”

* * *

Mirrors don’t lie, but you could make them
fib every once in a while if you were careful. Abby turned this way and that,
making sure none of the ugliness showed. A low cut pink sleep shirt would have
to do. It came down long enough to cover her to the middle of her thighs. Maybe
the sexy panties would serve their purpose. For ten years, she’d avoided
intimacy, turned down dates and kept herself sexually cloistered away from men
– especially Cade. The times she’d turned him down were the ones which hurt the
most. Embarrassment and shame over how she looked below the waist had robbed
her of intimacy, tenderness and love.

For a few more seconds she stood there, gathering
her courage. So often Abby had tried to convince herself that her life was full
enough. She had her work and her family. She had the satisfaction of knowing
she’d saved those horses and she’d have saved Cade if he’d been there. Because
of that day and what had happened to her and the horses, she’d decided to enter
the field of veterinary medicine. Besides, animals didn’t judge. Of course,
she’d never given anyone a chance to judge her—until tonight.

Cade waited. He smoothed his hand over the
sheet, anticipating touching her velvet skin. Lord in heaven! She’d never know
how much he wanted her. How often he’d thought about her over the years. Every
time he climbed on the back of a bronc or a bull, she went through his mind.
Cade wanted to stay alive for her – she was his inspiration. He’d tried to
ignore it, he’d tried to explain it away…after all, he and Abby were like
dynamite and fire. Anytime they were together it was explosive. Well, tonight,
he was aiming for an explosion of a different variety.

He heard the bathroom door open. The
bedside lamp was on, filling the room with a warm glow. Abby walked toward the
bed and he felt the earth shift beneath him. Dark brown tresses flowed past her
waist. A baby pink shirt clung to her, thin enough he could see those generous
breasts. Cade was well aware of her figure, for she dressed in tight jeans and
western shirts all the time. But he’d never been privileged to see so much of
those long, gorgeous legs or her tempting cleavage. His mouth watered.

But more than that, Cade liked her. God,
he really liked her as a person, and yes, as a friend. Saving his life was
huge, but she’d been making his life worth living for a very long time.

Abby froze. He wasn’t saying anything.
Cade was staring at her. She glanced down to make sure how she looked. Had he
changed his mind? “Is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s finally right. I could
look at you forever.” Was his quiet reply.

Tingles of awareness and relief sparkled
over Abby’s skin. She moved another step or two and when he held out his hand,
she ran the rest of the way and he caught her easily. “Turn out the light,
please.”