A Bride Worth Billions (29 page)

I was glad to be in my room now, away from the hustle and bustle of the freshman’s across the dorm hallway. I crashed into bed as soon as I got the chance when I realized that I might not have thanked Smith. I rushed back to the door, with my aching heels, but he was gone. I was too tired to care anymore and so I just went back to bed.

The first month of law school was hectic and emotionally crippling. I had failed on two consecutive tests and my roommate was a total pain. She spent most of her time talking about the guys she found to be cute, in class or in general and kept on pestering me with questions regarding my love life.

“I don’t have one!”

I snapped at her.

“I don’t have a boyfriend and I’ve never had one before as well. I’m a happy single girl who is trying to make through law school so I can make my daddy proud. I’d rather be miserable and rich than waste my time being swooned by jerks that don’t even care about my existence.”

I snapped at her again. She retreated with a puzzled expression on her face like I was teaching medicine in gibberish, but I didn’t really care. What I had said was true and sad. I’d rather be alone but rich than waste my time shuffling relationships and waste the most important years of my life.

“Love can wait”

I often reassured myself. My studies, on the other and more realistic end, could not. I spent my nights studying, trying to improve the pathetic grades I got in the first semester and it still sucked. I was glad those days were over when they called up your parents if you scored badly on a test. Second semester and things still sucked bad for me and my grades. I was starting to lose hope and planned on dropping out of law school already.

3rd test in the second semester and I got another D! I was sick of getting C’s and D’s. I craved for a; a B- was acceptable as well, but anything above C! My instructor asked me to meet her after class and I could imagine her saying:

“I’m calling your parents!”

I gained up the courage to go to her office and waited anxiously for her to open the door. The door swung open and I saw a familiar face. It was the same guy who had helped me with my luggage on the first day. He smiled at me and I smiled back. And I suddenly realized that I had an apology to make and an effort to acknowledge, but my thoughts were caught off guard when my instructor called me in.

“Sit down Miss Benedict.”

I gathered my ruffled dress and seated in the chair next to the luggage guy. I couldn’t seem to recollect his name.

“I have been teaching you since the past 6 months. This is the second semester and I see no improvement in your grade, any grade for that matter”

Oh God! No! Please don’t discuss my grades in front of him. I can’t bear this social humiliation in front of him, I thought to myself.

I cleared my throat.

“But Miss Steves, I’m working really hard…”

“Yes, you’re working hard and it shows. At least you managed to move up a notch from a D to a C”

The guy looked at me with a look of acknowledgment and appreciation. I just shied away; this humiliation was too much to bear.

“As a favor to your father...”

I thought about what connection dad had with any of this.

“I’m allotting you some help. This is purely a favor for your father and we do not do this often at the campus. In this school, you are solely responsible for your grade but I’m making exceptions for you. This is Connor Smith, an excellent student. He has been on the Dean’s honor list since the last 4 semesters and has a 3 quarter scholarship. He’ll be tutoring you from now onwards, after class that is. You two may mutually decide a schedule which suits each one of you and I expect to see an improvement in your grade after this.”

So that was his name, Connor. It was such a common name; I was surprised how I had managed to forget it. We left the office, with a hint of embarrassment on my face.

“Hey! Come on! Don’t take this too seriously. At least you made it to this semester. Most of my friends ditched law school after their first semester. Cheer up! I’ll help you out, we just need to work out on a schedule. Take my number and let me know by tonight the hours which suit you best and we can make changes to that”

He patted my shoulder and walked off. So he wasn’t just cute, handsome and smart but was a total sweetheart and an extremely down to earth guy. I praised God’s generosity whenever I came across such guys, but this one made me want to become a nun (hypothetically). SO we were done with making the study routine and were down to business within a week already. We spent the entire semester studying defense in the diner next to our campus and showing off our origami skills to each other. The semester flew by so quickly, I didn’t even realize that we had spent two whole months together. I was really fond of Conner now and I used to wait for his texts for our study dates. They were mostly dates in my head and just an execution of his responsibility for him, but I still liked the rush that came with the plans of meeting him.

Finals were creeping in closer and I was freaking about how to write the rationale in a case brief. I could see Connor’s beautiful hazel eyes skimming through my paper as he went through my brief and for a moment I wished for him to skim me like that. My daydreaming was snapped back to reality by a high pitched greeting from behind our counter. I saw an African American girl waving her purse towards Connor. Her face was slathered with makeup and her dressing did not describe the word “graceful”. She strolled towards us and hugged Connor from across the table, her hair was on my face. I pushed it aside only to find her kissing him. I felt my face go hot and cold but held the urge to snap at her.

Connor, gently, pushed her away.

“Sasha! What are you doing here?” He asked her, a hint of embarrassment across his face.

“I came here to see you, baby! I was missing you! No calls, no texts! And you’re seeing other girls? Come on baby, let’s put the past behind us”

She kissed him, forcefully, again and I got up from the table.

“Excuse me,” I said.

“No, wait. Mia!”

I rushed out of the diner and touched my face. My face was ablaze with anger. I failed to understand what was happening. Sure I found Connor to be cute and all but it was nothing serious. I was confused about my emotions and current condition.

“Mia!”

I turned around and saw Connor running towards me with our reading material.

“Let's go somewhere else please.”

“I’d like that.”

“She’s crazy! We were together for 6 months and I found her cheating on me with my roommate. I flipped Mia! I honestly did. I broke his teeth, smashed his laptop against the wall along with Sasha’s new I-Phone. You should have seen the look on their faces. But I’ve moved on. I don’t feel for her, but she does ever since he dumped her for some white chick. She’s been running around, picking her hair, trying to get me back. But I’m a goner. Once the damage is done, it’s done. You’d be stupid trying to fix or hide the cracks in a broken glass Mia.”

So he was recovering from his break up when I had first met him. When I had seen him for the first time, I never could have even thought about the pain he was growing through and I looked at him now. He said strong and deep words but his face was blank like he was lost on the inside. I put my hand on his cheek and ran my fingers through his hair with the other hand.

“You know, you can always make broken glasses look like a master piece with the help of a few flowers and decorations. Makes it worth a million dollars.”

He looked puzzled.

“Nobody wants a broken glass, Mia.” He said, the sadness taking over his masculine voice.

“I do.”

And I freaked on the inside, instantly regretting my words as he shot me a look of confusion. He walked me back to the dorm, the entire journey was quiet and awkward. I was too embarrassed to say anything after my master blunder at the bar. Soon we were outside the building and Connor handed me out his books.

“How can you be so sure about wanting a broken piece of glass Mia?”

I stopped dead in my tracks. Was he really asking me why I wanted him? Was he that dumb to not realize how perfect he was? I turned to face him.

“A broken glass is worthless and garbage. You throw such stuff away and not stash it in a museum for display. It’s not worth a million dollars like you said. Something like you, with you perfect hair, beautiful skin, wealthy family, is worth something. Not me. I am worthless and all I deserve is girls like Sasha.”

He was breaking into an avalanche of self-defilement and I couldn’t bear that. I threw my books on the parchment of plants next to me and pulled him closer.

“You’re smart, intelligent, kind, and man your eyes. They are hazel! You’re so perfect! You don’t need cheating craps like Sasha or roommate to define your worth. Ask me, Connor. Ask me about your worth. I’ve been swooned since the day I saw you and all you did was pick up my bags. The last two months have been a constant reminder of what a miracle you are. Hell! I thought God stopped making guys like you.”

I was in the zone. I couldn’t shut up.

“Your warm skin feels so perfect in my palms right now. Your hazel eyes glistening like a glass on the sea shore. You’re perfect Connor; Worth more than just big numbers. You’re worth someone’s heart! I am no beauty pageant winner but never in my life have I looked at someone the way I look at you.”

I could feel my nail piercing his skin.

“My heart is like an unused air tight jar!”

What a dumb example, I thought to myself.

“I have never been in love and never did I wish to be. But you forced me to fall for you. Fall for you every day, harder than the previous one. I believe you’re worth my heart.”

And I was finished. He was staring at me blankly like I had just spoken my heart out in a completely different language. It was awkward.

The next day, I woke up thanks to the sun shining bright on my face as I had forgotten to pull the curtains together. I pulled myself out of the bed, hung my legs from its side and looked at Connor lying next to me. Thoughts began to race through my mind.

“Was it a one-time thing? Did he think I was some trashy girl who he could roll in bed with?”

My mind was racing with thoughts I could no longer handle. I nudged him awake.

“Err... Sor... Sorry about that. I just needed to talk and clear out some stuff.”

He rubbed his eyes and brushed his hair with his fingers.

“Mhm?”

“Connor, whatever happened last night… I would like to clarify that I don’t usually do this. You’re the first guy I have ever expressed my feelings for. You’re the first guy I have ever had feelings for. Connor, this is a big, big deal for me! It’s not a joke. I don’t want to be talked about like the way you talked about Sasha the other night. I’m not like her and….”

He pulled me closer and hugged. I fit perfectly into his arms and the embrace felt so warm and comforting. At that moment, I knew that it wasn’t a one-time deal, for none of us. I let him hug me. It felt like everything was falling into place: why I came to law school finally had a meaning; why I never scored well at law; everything was starting to fall into place.

The next 3 years flew by so quickly, I could hardly decipher anything. I was scoring well, my love life was enviable, and Connor was working for this really big law firm. He passed out a year before me and was already working. We used to meet every weekend. He used to be suited in all these expensive looking suits and every time I fell more in love with him. He was gaining so much but was humble as ever. His hugs were still warm and loving and there was no man I wanted to be other than him.

I had made my mind. On my graduation, I would introduce dad to Connor and everything would fall into place. I had planned on getting married to Connor after my graduation. Though Connor’s background was not exactly the wealthiest type, the type dad wanted for me, but he was doing well for himself. I planned on working too, to make things easier for us. I had visited Connor’s house last summer. I had no problem with the apartments in which he lived, but I knew dad would flip. For me, Connor’s love had always been enough; I had grown out of my materialistic beliefs.

I was soon done with my finals and I was pretty confident that I had done well. I called up dad to tell him that I was done with my internships and how well my exams had gone. He was excited to see me on my graduation. I told him that I had a surprise for him as well.

“A surprise?”

I could sense the apprehension in his tone.

I told Connor that I wanted him to meet my parents and he seemed pretty excited. That came as a relief to me; at least he wasn’t going to back down. The convocation day soon arrived and, honestly, I was petrified. I didn’t know how dad was going to take this, whether he would accept this or not. I couldn’t become another incident like Kenny. I wanted him to be proud of me and my choices and I wanted him to acknowledge my wants as a favor for all the years I had spent living my life according to him and his rules. I really wanted him to accept me and my choices for once.

I could see him waving his handkerchief from among the swarm of parents and graduating students. He was getting old, the corners of his eyes had begun to wrinkle and his hair had started graying. I hugged him tightly to remind him of the fact that I still loved him. He brushed my face affectionately.

“Another lawyer in the family, eh?”

I smiled back affectionately. I hugged him again. This was the moment I had been working for since the past 6 years. My dad was finally proud of me; the gap in his heart had finally been bridged. He no longer felt that his children were of no use or were rebellious against him.

“Dad, I want you to meet someone.”

His eyebrow rose in apprehension.

“It’s a friend dad. He helped me work really hard; all credit goes to him for helping me make it through law school. You’ll like him a lot.”

I waved Connor to come to us and I heard a grunt.

“Ugh! Mia! What is this!? Is this some kind of a joke?”

I looked at him with a confused face.

“Mia! Look at him? He’s... He’s… Ugh, MIA!”

“He’s black?”

“YES MIA!”

Connor was next to us. He could sense the tension between us. He was now shifting in his feet and I was furious.

“Dad, this is Connor Smith. He works for the Bar Associates in New Jersey and is a corporate lawyer. He is 2 years older than me and I love him!”

The last three words came out like venom from my mouth. It felt like I had spat my feelings at him and he was furious. It felt like he wanted to smack me and Connor. He grabbed mom’s hand and dragged her out of the ceremony. I was beginning to tear up and Connor was confused. He pulled me closer and hugged me. I broke into tears at how he had shown no concern for my feelings.

That night I cried my heart out to Connor, I told him that I had sacrificed my dreams, my life, everything for my dad and he couldn’t even accept the choices my heart made. I told him I regretted doing everything for him. Connor held me tightly and told me to talk to him one last time and if things didn’t work out, he would leave me for good. I jolted up and looked at him!

“Leave for good? Are you out of your mind! YOU IDIOT!”

I, then, realized that this was the man worth my sacrifices, my compromises, and my love, not my dad. My dad was a selfish man who wanted everything to run according to him, irrespective of the wants and desires of others. I asked him to promise me that he would not leave me.

The next day I packed my stuff and handed it over to Connor. He safely placed my luggage into the trunk of the cab and hugged me goodbye. I settled into the car and waved him goodbye. I left him a few chummy texts on my way home to remind him of the promise he had made about not leaving me. My heart was beating faster as we pulled into the driveway next to my house. I was petrified about facing dad after what had happened yesterday. I told myself to man up and got out of the car. I pulled my luggage out of the trunk and began to walk towards the front door. My heels began to click as I shifted from the pebble filled driveway to the paved and cemented curb. I rang the bell and was greeted by the hugs and affectionate words of my housemaids. We had always had housemaid to help mom around the house and take care of me and Kenny.

I handed over my bags to Nana, my nanny, and my favorite housemaid and hugged her. I walked towards dad’s study, my heels clicking against the marble floor of our luxurious villa. I couldn’t spot mom anywhere and guessed that she would be out for her salon appointments, a classic excuse to get away from dad.

My heels stopped clicking as I stood still outside dad’s study room.  I knocked on the huge door and waited for him to approve of my entry. My house was like a kingdom, everything needed consent. He opened the door and did not bother to even greet me. He rushed back to his reading chair and slouched into it. I sat next to him, on the couch, and looked aimlessly around the room.

“You’ve extended your reading material.”

I said, in an acknowledging tone. Another grunt came from him and he nodded. I hated when he used to grunt, it was very offensive and derogatory. I sighed and straightened my shoulders. I knew this was the right time to put my lawyer skills into use and defend my love situation in front of my father.

“Dad, about the other day. Connor is a really nice…”

“Negro? Yes, I guessed.”

“DAD!”

I snapped at him. What he had just said was sad and repulsive. How could my father, the most intellectual and educated person, talk in such a demeaning way about another person.

“THAT IS VERY OFFENSIVE AND RUDE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!”

“Oh! I’m sorry. The broke Negro. Is that better?”

I was bursting with anger.

“HOW DARE YOU!? DAD, HE’S MY BOYFRIEND!”

“NO HE’S NOT!”

We both were yelling at this point, years of grace poise went down the drain in a matter of seconds.

“YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SEE HIM OR MEET HIM! HOW COULD YOU BEFRIEND A BROKE BLACK LIKE HIM! HE LIVES IN THE SLUMS! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A SLUM IS MIA!? OF COURSE NOT! YOU WERE RAISED IN VILLAS AND FARMHOUSES! I BET YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE GODDAMN WORD ‘SLUM’”

“DAD! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”

I regained my composure. I knew yelling at him won’t make me any better than him.

“Dad. I love Connor. We have been together since the past three years...”

I could hear him grunting and shrugging like my life meant nothing to him.

“We’ve had our share of exposure of each other’s lives. I know where he lives and I have no problem with that. Connor might be...”

My voice shook.

“Black and broke. But his capabilities are far beyond race and economics. He’s a man of abilities and that is what I honor the most. As far as I remember, you grew up on the streets right? At least Connor is better in that regard.”

He shot me a death glare and I settled into my couch. He sat right next to me and grabbed my hand.

“But Mia, honey, he’s black! Don’t you see that?”

“No Daddy, I’m color blind!”

The sarcasm came out as a reflex.

“I love him. That is it. If you can accept that, well. If you can’t then I guess I’d have to remove 2 names from the wedding list.”

And suddenly dad started having fits of rage. He started tossing his books and furniture around and was swearing all kind of cuss words I never thought he knew. I couldn’t tolerate this, so I got up, pushed the wrinkles out of my skirt and left the room, my heels still clicking against the marble floor. I asked Nana for my stuff and went to my room.

The next few days were emotionally and mentally crippling. I had often visits from mom and dad who would try to convince me that this was wrong. Dad even got offensive when he said to walk with Connor and my kids on the street would be like a walking zebra crossing. I couldn’t have enough. This racism was too much and dad pushed it when he asked Connor to leave, from the front door of our house. That was the first weekend in two years that I didn’t get to see Connor.

The last straw was pulled when daddy asked Kenny to come home and talk to me. His hypocrisy was beyond me. How once he had asked the same Kenny to leave his sight and never return, and how he was using the same Kenny to manipulate me out of my love. He knew I looked up to Kenny more than him, it was Kenny who looked after me in school when dad was away, leading court cases in other states. He knew that Kenny and I were best friends, rather than siblings. He was aware of the fact that if he let me see Kenny after 6 years of separation, I was bound to break down to his request.