A Brighter Spark (Xcite Romance) (2 page)

As her dress pooled at her feet, Suzy moved her arms from where they’d held his sides, trying to cover herself, her new nudity making her self-conscious. Daniel took a half-step back, making enough space between their bodies for him to take hold of each of her forearms gently. He moved them apart, stopping her from hiding behind them. To her surprise, she found that she was trembling slightly.

He leant in and gave her another kiss, this one slow and light, scarcely more than a brush of lips. Suzy opened her mouth wider, tried to lick the edge of his front teeth, but neither that nor the small, insistent pleading noises she made did anything to make him increase his pace or deepen the intensity of his touches.

He was being so careful with her. Treating her like something precious, something so delicate it was almost fragile.

Suzy didn’t want that. She didn’t want that at all. She didn’t want to be cherished. She wanted him to shatter her, and then put the pieces back together.

She twisted out of his grip, pressing her bare skin against his still-clothed form, untucking his shirt and undershirt and slipping her hands beneath them both, scratching her nails down his sides lightly and giving a wicked smirk of victory when the action made his breath catch and his calm ministrations falter. His body was warm against her hands, solid in a way her own flesh had never felt to touch. Grounded and real. She wanted to touch every part of him, to absorb some of that solidity for herself, to undo him and make him lose control.

She nuzzled at the soft underside of his jaw, at the vulnerable pulse point below his ear. Daniel’s scent was clean and sharp, soap and aftershave, but there was the hint of something darker and more carnal underneath those neat-edged smells. There were secret complexities to him, secrets in the hitches of his breath and the hectic flush tinting his coppery cheekbones.

He loosened his tie and undid the buttons of his shirt. His sleeves had cufflinks, a tiny silver set of a spoon and a fork.

Suzy kissed at the pulse point of his wrist, trailing up the delicate skin of the inside of his forearm with tiny butterfly kisses, sprinkling the little pecks of her lips across his flesh. His hand grasped at the curve of her waist, at the softness where her hip swelled out. Usually, Suzy was critical of her body, embarrassed and self-conscious of its imperfections, but the way Daniel touched her with such desire and
want
changed her opinion completely. Nothing that made his eyes dilate, his lips part, the way her slightly squishy mid-section apparently did, could ever be something she could hate. His lust transformed her, made her feel beautiful.

Daniel had a trail of dark, curly hair down his chest, and an old, pale scar across one side of his ribs, the contrast making the rest of his skin seem to almost glow with allure.

They helped each other disrobe until they were both undressed completely. Suzy wished the bulb overhead was a lower wattage, because dimmer light would have been kinder to her insecurities, but at least this way she was able to drink in the sight of him with aching clarity. Daniel had a particular kind of masculine physique that wasn’t the popular fashion at the moment, but which Suzy had always had a strong attraction to – the wide chest and waist of the stars of yore. The Rock Hudson look.

Well, she might not be as cute as Doris Day, but she probably appreciated the view more than Doris had, so there was that at least.

He laid her back on the bed, kissing her and touching her with clever, considerate fingertips. She squirmed beneath him, wracking her brains for what she might do to urge him on, make him less thoughtful and measured.

Then Suzy rolled her eyes at herself for making it difficult for herself, when it was easily simplified.

‘Stop being so gentle,’ she said, her breath catching twice as his fingers found sensitive trigger-spots on her skin that she hadn’t even known were there. ‘It’s –’

‘Not enough?’ Daniel guessed, his voice husky. Suzy bit her lip. The answer was almost correct, but not quite. She didn’t want to lie to him, but didn’t want to tell him the truth either. Maybe requesting a change outright wasn’t the simplest method after all.

‘Too much,’ she admitted quietly. ‘Please, just …’ The energy of anticipation between them was thrumming enough that she didn’t feel guilty for cutting the foreplay short then and there.

It was so silly, she almost wanted to laugh at herself for it, but Suzy felt like she might start crying if Daniel kept touching her like that, so tenderly and with such absolute care.

She reached over to the drawer in the nightstand, retrieving a condom from the half-full box of them inside and tearing open the packet. His breath caught as she rolled it onto him.

‘All right,’ Daniel managed to say. Suzy caught his gaze with her own, and could tell from his expression that he was replying to the request she hadn’t managed to speak completely. He would do his best not to be too gentle with her. He’d protect her from the vulnerability that she couldn’t afford to feel, not like this.

He guided himself inside her with such sureness and carefully banked force that her back arched and a moan spilled out of her lips, without her brain even knowing she was about to make a sound.

‘Yes, like that, just,’ he instructed her softly, lifting her leg higher against his hip and thrusting in again. The new angle drove him into her even deeper, and her hands clutched at his arms, trying not to cry out again. Suzy bit at her own lower lip, hard enough to genuinely hurt, and the small pain was enough to keep the pleasure from overwhelming her completely.

She had genuinely forgotten how good it felt to have sex. She didn’t even know that was a thing people could do. It wasn’t like she’d gone and completely discarded the knowledge that intercourse was a nice feeling, but the actual intoxicating, overwhelming, astonishing power of how excellent the feeling was had … gotten away from her, somehow. “Nice” didn’t even start to cover it.

She hadn’t been with someone like Daniel in a long, long time. To tell the truth she’d never been with anyone quite like him. Maybe she never would be again, and the memory of this one exquisite experience would have to be enough to sustain her from now on.

The wine, and the exhaustion of her disappointing day, were making her sentimental. Suzy shoved her thoughts to the side and redoubled her focus on her lover, concentrating on sensation over emotion.

A rhythm proved surprisingly easy to set between them, their bodies naturally falling into sync despite having never touched before. Daniel trembled, ever so slightly. Suzy thought that was probably due to the effort of holding himself still, of not losing control and fucking her harder. His restraint was charming and infuriating all at once.

She could feel bright, hot tears in the corners of her eyes, a desperate glitter as Daniel rolled his hips again. Over and over, some shallow and some deeper, never hesitating. A hoarse moan ripped itself out of Suzy’s lips.

Daniel was speaking softly, a string of reassuring words falling into the air between them as he hitched her legs higher and rocked into her again and again, careful and deliberate and methodical as she writhed beneath him, overwhelmed enough that the tears slipped free and painted little tracks down over her temples.

Time didn’t have much meaning for her right then, the climb of pleasure towards its peak seemingly endless – every time she thought she couldn’t possibly feel any better than she did, Daniel moved or touched her in a different way and everything felt new and overwhelming all over again.

Just before she climaxed, Suzy felt as though the world became crystal clear, all her senses sharpened to perfect clarity, all her scattered thoughts snapping to laser-sharp focus and making absolute, perfect sense.

That revelation hung in the air like the peal of a bell, for a single moment, and then her orgasm crashed over her and all she could do was try not to scream at the absolute intensity of it.

Her vision went white, hands scrabbling at Daniel’s shoulders and sides, nails scratching against his sweat-slick skin.

He followed her over the edge, one final thrust into her enough to elicit a loud gasp from Suzy as an unexpected aftershock of bliss rippled through her.

Boneless and spent, her body heavy and weightless all at once, Suzy curled against the warm sturdiness of Daniel’s body and let her hand drift up to rest over his heart. She fell asleep to the gentle rhythm of his pulse, thudding gently against her palm. 

Chapter Two

Over the years, there had only been a small handful of times when Suzy had been faced with a Morning After of the kind that deserved significant capitalisation. Even that sample size of experiences had given her some standard elements to expect, though: awkwardness, obviously – especially if the guy couldn’t remember her name and so just sort of mumbled at her; excuses to get out the door as fast as possible, and a lingering feeling of having done something that really wasn’t worth the trouble.

Weird as it sounded, the main emotion Suzy usually felt after a one-night stand was pretty similar to the buyer’s remorse she felt when she saw something cheap and cute in a store, got it home, and realised that she’d been suckered in yet again by something she didn’t really like.

She’d once tried to explain the comparison to Drew, but he’d just told her that thinking of sexual partners as items of clothing was the first step to
Silence of the Lambs
territory and she should forget about asking him to help her hide the bodies when she finally went off the deep end. God, Drew was such a useless best friend, and even he seemed to have a more satisfying romantic and sexual life than Suzy did. There was no justice in the world.

This time wasn’t like the other times, though. She was awoken by a sudden squeaky noise. When she opened her eyes, it was to the sight of an extremely surprised Daniel, clad only in his boxer shorts and balanced shakily on one foot. The other foot was held in the air above a small pinkish lump, the source of the noise.

It was Lily’s missing Miss Piggy purse, rediscovered in the absolutely most awkward way possible.

Suzy couldn’t help it: she burst out laughing, burying her face in the pillow to smother as much of the sound as she could. She tried to stop, but the giggles kept coming. Oh no, what if Daniel thought she was laughing at him, rather than at the general ridiculousness of the entire situation?

But when she looked up, he was laughing too, a gentle chuckle.

‘And here I’d hoped to wake you up with a cup of coffee,’ he said, abashed. Suzy smiled.

‘Ever the gentleman, aren’t you?’

He gave a comical little bow. ‘I do my best.’

‘If you’re expecting me to be a lady, you’re in for a disappointment. I don’t think I’d do a very good job at it.’

‘Oh,’ Daniel said, a twinkle in his eye. ‘Don’t worry. You seem quite perfect just as you are.’

Oh God, she was getting a
crush
on him. Of all the things which Suzy was now categorically much, much too old for, a schoolgirl infatuation had to be near the top of the list.

But there was no other word for it: for the way that the thought of him made her stomach flip over giddily, or for the way his smile made his knees weak.

Drew was going to get so, so much mileage out of this. If Suzy told him about it, that is. But of course, she knew she was going to tell him. That’s how she and Drew were. Even the most mortifying secrets were shared between them.

*               *               *

Daniel and Suzy left her house together, walking through the morning sunshine and talking about … Well, Suzy wasn’t exactly sure how, but they managed to get on to the topic of baking, and all the weirdest recipes they each knew. Suzy didn’t have much to contribute – she always felt like she was playing house whenever she did anything domestic, like a child in dress-up who was pretending to vacuum and shop for groceries and prepare meals. The only evidence she had of being even remotely competent at these tasks was the fact that Lily and Steven hadn’t shown any indication of coming down with scurvy or malnutrition or anything of the sort.

But Daniel was clearly one of nature’s genuine home-makers, able to talk about how to best make challah bread (apparently the secret was to avoid over-baking it, and to do two layers of egg glaze over the crust. Suzy didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was more likely to burn water than to successfully bake a loaf of bread) and the weird old recipes his mother had taught him.

‘Stargazy pie was the strangest,’ he told her. ‘It’s a fish pie, and when the fish are cut up to add their flesh to the filling, the heads and tails are kept intact. When the pie’s finished, the cook sticks the heads and the tails in through the crust on the top, so it’s as if the fish are gazing up out of the top. It’s supposed to be very good for adding extra oils from the flesh into the dish, but almost every single one of my childhood nightmares featured those terrifying baked fish heads, staring up at nothing.’

‘Oh my God,’ Suzy said, trying desperately not to laugh. ‘That’s … Man, I was gonna talk about how my mom was from France, so I grew up with blue cheeses and meatloaf made with prunes. But that stuff’s not even weird by
French
standards … And even if I had traumatic tales of being forced to eat frog’s legs and snails, those would be nothing compared to Severed Fish Head Pastry topping a pie. Holy crap.’

Her horror at his story made Daniel laugh too, and by the time they stopped at a small sidewalk café, they were chattering away as easily as two people who’d known each other for years.

They enjoyed a delicious breakfast of fresh bagels and hot, rich coffee. Suzy typically just made do with a mug of instant, topped off with the little creamer packets she swiped from the lunchroom at work. She suspected that Daniel had never even contemplated drinking a beverage made of such things, which should have seemed like a totally obnoxious and pretentious thing to think about someone, but just made him seem even more charming somehow.

Her crush was rapidly growing in size. It would be large enough to destroy several city blocks with its strength pretty soon. Suzy could just imagine Drew’s face when she told him about how Daniel had won her heart by telling her stories of horrible childhood food and by having especially specific requirements of his breakfast beverages.

But it didn’t matter how silly everything sounded in abstract, when the reality of the situation was that Daniel was one of the loveliest, friendliest people Suzy could remember meeting. Ever.

He even kissed her goodbye, when it came time to part ways and head to their respective workplaces.

‘Here’s my card. In case you’d like to meet up again sometime,’ he said, giving her his business details.

‘Wait, let me give you mine as well, hang on.’ Suzy scribbled her own phone number down on the back of an old receipt she found in her purse. ‘I had a really great time, Daniel. We should absolutely do this again.’

*               *               *

All day, her mood was jubilant. Her steps were buoyant as she went about her work in the lab, and daydreams kept a pleased smile on her face the whole train ride home. Even the quiet of the empty house, which usually left Suzy feeling a little morose and at a loose end, didn’t faze her in the slightest.

All the mundane drudgery of her life, which had worn her down to the point of crying on a bus stop bench in public, had been transformed into an existence which she could appreciate and be grateful for. Nothing in the world seemed less than glowing.

Instead of feeling lonely, Suzy took the opportunity to put on the sort of mindless junk food television that she loved and that she tried not to have on when the kids were home – forensic-orientated police dramas and lavish HBO fantasy shows, everything too violent and explicit for her to ever watch when the twins were there. She made herself a light dinner and just chilled out.

She was enjoying herself so much that time got away from her, and before she knew it the hour was slipping close to midnight. Suzy had turned off the television, and was just folding her bedsheets back to climb inside when her phone rang.

It genuinely, truly felt like her heart skipping a beat, the way her chest clenched at the sight of Daniel’s name on the caller display.

‘I hope you don’t think I’m being untoward in calling like this –’ he started to say, his usual collected tone sounding ever so slightly nervous, as if he was bracing himself for rejection and disappointment.

‘Of course you aren’t. It’s lovely to hear from you,’ Suzy assured him, trying not to feel like a silly little girl getting a call from her crush. God, did kids even call each other any more? They probably just sent texts. She climbed into bed, inhaling the scent of the linens. Feeling daring, she told him, ‘My sheets still smell like you.’

She could hear his breath catch.

‘I haven’t changed them yet,’ she went on. ‘So I can smell you all around me right now. Smell both of us. The lingering ghosts of the things we did.’

‘I – ah,’ Daniel said, clearing his throat. ‘I wanted to know if you were free on Sunday afternoon. There’s a –’

‘Yes, I am. And yes, I’d love to,’ Suzy answered before he could even tell her what the potential plan might be. ‘But that doesn’t change the fact that I can smell you now.’

Her mouth curled up in a smile when it became obvious he was caught too far off guard to know what to say in reply. ‘Come on, Daniel. A man doesn’t call a woman at 11.30 at night on a Friday just to schedule a Sunday date.’

‘Is this the part where I ask you what you’re wearing?’ he asked, rallying quickly, his tone playful. Suzy laughed delightedly.

‘No, don’t do that. Let’s say …’

‘Let’s say you come to visit me at my office. It’s early afternoon, and you drop in unannounced,’ Daniel said, catching her intentions and running with them splendidly. Suzy made a noise that was almost a purr in approval, and settled herself against the pillow which held his scent.

‘I wouldn’t wear a bra,’ she told him. ‘Which is obvious once I take off my jacket. I lock the door behind me and slip the coat off, tossing it on your desk.

‘My breasts are covered by nothing but a thin silk camisole, and they’re heavy and hot. I lean over your desk and they swing forward as I bend down, like gravity itself is drawing them to you.’

His voice was rough with want. ‘Hold your breasts,’ he ordered her. ‘Underneath, so I can see it when your thumbs rub your nipples through your slip.’

Suzy did as instructed, closing her eyes and imagining that he was there, that he really could see her as the touch of her own hands made her arch up off the bed. She was surprised at how good it felt, how much greater than her usual self-pleasuring. Usually, masturbation felt like just another chore that needed to get done, like plucking her eyebrows or taking her vitamins – a way to keep her body running, nothing more. There was never this sense of indulgence, of desire.

‘I’d bend you over the arm of the soft leather couch I have in my office,’ Daniel told her, his voice low and gravelled but even and calm, no hitch of breath or stuttered words. ‘I’d hold you exactly where I want you, shoving your skirt up to your hips. Your tights are a tangle at your ankles and so are your panties.’

‘I’m so wet, so ready.’ Suzy took up the story they were weaving together. ‘It’s like all the blood in my body is between my legs. I’m so ready for you it hurts.’

‘The smell of you drives me crazy,’ Daniel said, his usually smooth voice taking on a smoker’s rasp, every word heavy and dark. ‘And when I enter you, you feel so good –’ He had to pause, drawing in a ragged breath as Suzy moaned. ‘You feel so good, pushing back against me, engulfing me.’

‘I’ve got one hand down against myself, rubbing back and forth over my clit as you fuck me hard,’ Suzy replied. Daniel made a small, shocked little grunt, as if he’d been caught off guard by how much her words were exciting him, getting him off. ‘When I come it makes me clench down hard around you. You’ve got one of your hands over my mouth now, so that nobody outside your office will hear the sounds you’re pounding out of me, the whimpers and screams.’

‘You bite down hard on my palm,’ Daniel agreed. ‘And – oh, you feel so good, I – I can’t, I …’

His orgasm was a soft staccato cry, the sound of someone who has been unravelled completely. Suzy pressed the heel of her palm hard against her vulva and arched hard, her fingertips slippery as she rubbed them back and forth urgently against herself.

‘Come for me, come on,’ he whispered to her in a sex-wrecked voice, and Suzy did, her whole body shaking from the force of it.

They didn’t start talking again immediately afterward, content to simply lie together over the distance of the phone and listen to the mingled sound of their breathing. After a little while, Suzy cleared her throat.

‘That was absolutely, definitively not untoward,’ she declared, earning a husky laugh from him for the joke.

‘Are you really free on Sunday?’ Daniel asked her, the words nakedly hopeful.

‘Absolutely,’ Suzy promised.