Authors: Kitty Neale
One week, he thought, and then Amy would be his wife. When he looked at her, sometimes he couldn’t believe his luck, but Amy had chosen him and he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her.
Mabel wasn’t so happy as she lay in bed, going over th
e events of the day. Sh
e’d seen the furniture van arrive that morning, and was still fuming that Amy had been given the house next door to Phyllis. As she’d told E
dna, with the place be
ing done up it smacked of favo
uritism, n
ot that sh
e begrudged that when it came to Amy
–
it was Phyllis getting everything that got o
n her wick. T
hanks to Rose, Phyllis had the life of Ri
ley now, a house fu
ll of posh stuff and a well-paid jo
b t
oo.
‘Can’t you stop tossing and turning?’ Jack complained. ‘I’ve got an early start in the morning and you’re keeping me awake.’
‘All right, keep your hair on,’ Mabel snapped, but then the heart of the matter hit her and she felt tears flooding her eyes. She’d tried to deny it – tried to act as though she didn’t care, but in truth Mabel was heartbroken t
hat she
wouldn’t be at Amy’s wedding. She’d watched the girl grow up and was fond of her, but now because of her big mouth neither Amy nor Phyllis would give her the time of day. It was her own fault, Mabel knew that – knew that because of her obsession with gossip she had lost her best friend.
Sleep wouldn’t come, and as always a feeling of
self
-hate filled Mabel’s mind. If she’d acted sooner, if she’d done something differently, her beautiful boy might h
ave lived. Though she’d been told th
at nothing cou
ld have saved him, Mabel
still thought she had be
en a terribl
e mother, and it was only when she could find someone to talk about – someone who was less than perfect too – that she could feel a little better about herself.
Carol was feeling bad about herself too, and unable to sleep, she got up to make herself a milky drink. The flat they were renting in Chelsea was on the fourth floor of a tall, terraced house in Tedworth Square, which was in an area that sat between the King’s Road and Royal Hospital Road. She had found another job as a receptionist, the boys were working too, and they had all settled well.
‘What’s the matter? Can’t you sleep?’
Carol was about to pour milk into a small saucepan and was startled by the voice. ‘Oh,
Mum
, you made me jump.’
‘Sorry, but I heard you getting up.’
‘I didn’t mean to wake you,’ Carol said. ‘I tried to be quiet and crept out of our room as quietly as I could.’
‘Don’t worry, I wasn’t asleep.’
‘Do you want a milky drink too?’
‘Yes please, and I can guess why you’re not sleeping. You’ve lost your dad, and it’s going to take time to get over it.’
‘It isn’t Dad that’s keeping me awake.’
‘What is it then?’
‘Amy is getting married next week and I should be there. I feel rotten about the way I treated her.’
‘You were protecting me, I know that, but I feel awful that you were forced to move away.’
Carol shook her head. ‘You shouldn’t. We didn’t move just for your sake. It was for mine too.’
‘I don’t understand. What do you mean?’
It was time, Carol decided – time to tell her mother the truth. ‘I … I was raped and … and then I had an abortion. Nobody knew about it at first, only Dad, but then the gossips found out about it and soon everyone knew.’
‘Oh, Carol, I can’t believe you went through all that and I knew nothing about it. I’m sorry … so very sorry.’
‘Mum, please, don’t cry. Look at me, I got through it, and I’m fine now.’
‘I thought you were all grown up, and I waited until I felt you didn’t need me any more before I left. I was wrong, but I just couldn’t stand it any more.’
‘What couldn’t you stand?’ Carol asked. ‘You still haven’t told us.’
‘I can’t talk to you about it. You’re … you’re too young.’
‘I’m not an innocent any more, though God knows I wish I still was. I’ve been raped, and Dad tried it on with me too. I had to fight off my own father – so don’t tell me I’m too young.’
‘What! Your father! Oh no … no, I’ll never forgive myself for leaving now. I know he adored you and when you used to get dressed up with all that make-up on, I used to worry about something in his eyes when he looked at you, but I never thought for a moment that you’d be in any danger, that … he … he’d …’ she sobbed, unable to go on.
‘You used to nag me about my clothes and make-up. I thought it was because you were jealous of me.’
‘Jealous! No, no, never that,’ she protested.
‘Mum, you still haven’t told me why you walked out on Dad.’
Daphne dashed her hands over her face to wipe away the tears, and then said, ‘When it came to se … sex, your father was like an animal. It was night after night, and he’d never take no for an answer. He’d hold me down, force me, and … and after years of what felt like torture, I just couldn’t take any more.’
‘Oh, Mum, I didn’t know,’ Carol moaned, horrified at what her mother had endured.
‘When I left, I found a small bedsit out of the area in Putney, and a job in a bar. I was going to write to you and the boys, but then one of the customers grabbed me and I just lost it. I picked up the nearest thing to hand, a bottle, and hit him over the head with it. I didn’t even realise what I’d done until I saw him lying on the floor, unconscious, and bleeding.’
‘You told us this much before, but now you’ve told me about Dad I can understand why you reacted like that. It all makes sense, yet it must have been a nightmare when you were sent to prison.’
‘I think I just shut down, switched off, and at least I didn’t have to serve the whole nine months.’
‘Your letter to Dad was found on him when … when his body was discovered. The boys got hold of it when they went to pick up his belongings. I’m just glad we found you before you got out. But what about Gran, did she know you were in prison?’
‘Yes, when I wrote to your Dad, I sent her a letter too and I begged them both not to tell you or the boys that I was in prison. I hoped to serve my time and write to you when I got out, making some excuse for not getting in touch before.’
‘You didn’t need to hide it from us.’
‘I was so ashamed, Carol.’
‘You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.’
‘Neither have you. We’re both victims.’
‘I’m so glad we’ve talked like this, Mum. It’s made me feel that I can move on – that I can put it all behind
me now.’
‘You’re forgetting one thing.’
‘Am I?’
‘What about Amy? You said you feel terrible about the way you treated her, but you can do something about that. Go to see her, tell her you’re sorry, and if I know Amy she’ll forgive you in an instant.’
‘I don’t want to go back to Lark Rise or anywhere near it. One look at me and the gossips will be off again and if they find out about you …’
‘If you feel so strongly about it, write to Amy. You could suggest meeting somewhere, even here. Amy doesn’t have to know I’ve been in prison and if you think about it, neither does anyone else. I’ll just tell her that I was unhappily married and on your father’s death I decided to return home.’
‘Yes, of course, why didn’t I think of that before?’
‘As I said, you and the boys were trying to protect me, but there’s really no need. I’ll tell Paul and Davy the same, and if anyone sees me when I go to visit your gran I’ll hold my head up high, keep my mouth shut, and they can think what they like.’
‘That’ll drive them mad.’
‘Good, but to be honest, even if they find out, words
can’t hurt me, or you
–
unless you let them. Those
narrow-minded bigots haven’t lived our lives so they’re in no position to judge us,’ Daphne said, then yawning.
‘Well now, I don’t know about you, but I think I can sleep now.’
‘Yes, me too,’ Carol said, happier now as she followed her mother into their bedroom. They hoped to find a larger flat, but for now this would do. They had single beds, and so did the boys, though Dave was always complaining about how loudly Paul snored.
Carol snuggled down in her bed. She’d write to Amy tomorrow, and send her a present. It was doubtful that the parcel would arrive before her wedding, but after that they’d be able to meet up. Smiling at the thought, Carol at last drifted off to sleep.
Amy was thrilled when she opened the parcel that had been delivered that morning. It was from Carol and contained a lovely vase. She smiled, imagined it on her new shelving unit where it would look just perfect, and then put it to one side as she read Carol’s letter. Firstly Carol apologised for her behaviour but more importantly, wrote that she had wanted to come to her wedding and was sad that she had left it too late.
Amy looked at the address, saw that Carol was living in Chelsea, and then carried on reading. It was lovely that Carol wanted them to meet, possibly after the honeymoon, and that made Amy smile. They were only going away for the weekend to a hotel in Brighton and then it was back to work for both of them on Monday.
‘Has Carol told you where she is now?’ her mother asked.
‘Yes,’ Amy said, giving her the letter. While her mother was reading it, Amy was deep in thought. She had the day off and wasn’t seeing Tommy that evening so there really wasn’t anything to stop her. It was just a matter of timing, but if she left it until after six Carol was sure to be there, even if she was planning to go out later that evening.
‘I bet you’re pleased she’s got in touch,’ Phyllis said, passing the letter back, ‘but we’d best get a move on or we’ll be late for our appointments at the hairdressers.’
Amy put her shoes on, and grabbed a jacket. Rose had insisted that her mother take the day off too, and soon they were leaving the house, only to pull up short when Mabel trotted up to them.
She looked a bit nervous, but thrust a parcel into Amy’s hand. ‘It’s a little something from me and Jack. I’ve known you since you were a little girl, Amy, and I’m fond of you so please accept it.’
With that Mabel turned on her heels and shot back into her own house, leaving Amy looking wide-eyed at her mother and asking, ‘Now what am I supposed to do?’
‘I don’t know, but I suppose you either give it back or write Mabel a thank you note.’
‘I’ll put it indoors for now,’ Amy said and that done, they were soon on their way again. It seemed ironic that she’d just had a wedding present from Carol, and another from a woman who had torn her friend apart.
Remembering that, Amy wished she had thrown Mabel’s present back in her face.
Jeremy was in the office with Tom, waiting for a nod of approval as his brother went over his figures. It was only a small estimate, nothing really to tax his brain, but he still hoped he’d got it right.
‘Well done,’ Tom said. ‘This is fine.’
Jeremy felt like he was in front of a teacher instead of his kid brother, and it didn’t sit well. ‘It was a doddle, and I think I’ve got the hang of it all now.’
‘Yes, you’re nearly there,’ Tom agreed, reaching into his pocket for his inhaler.
‘Are you all right?’ Jeremy asked, thinking that Tom looked a bit wan.
‘My chest is a bit tight, that’s all.’
‘Is everything set for your big day tomorrow?’
‘Yes, I’ve moved all my stuff into our house, and Amy has done the same,’ Tom said, but then he began to cough, leaning over the desk with his hand on his chest.
‘You sound rough,’ Jeremy said when Tom was left gasping for air and reaching for his inhaler again. ‘You’re not going down with bronchitis again are you?’
‘I hope not, it’s the last thing I need. I’ll take it easy today and I might leave a bit earlier than usual. In the meantime, would you mind taking the wages to the men on site?’
‘Of course not,’ Jeremy said, more than happy to get out of the unit for a while. Tom got the pay-packets out of the small safe and Jeremy stuffed them in his pocket before heading for the van. As he drove off, his thoughts turned to his coming role as a salesman and the car that would come with it. He’d love a Jaguar, but as he doubted Tom would agree to that, a decent Austin would do for now.
When he got to the site, Jeremy found all the men at work installing windows, and after giving them their pay-packets he checked their progress as if he knew what he was doing. ‘Everything looks fine, and are we still on schedule?’ he asked Dick Hutton, the man Tom had put in charge of the crews.
‘Yes,’ he said, nodding, ‘but can I have a private word?’
‘Of course,’ Jeremy said, walking a distance away from the other men.
‘Mr Frost always gives the pay-packets to me and I hand them out to the men at the end of the day.’
Jeremy shrugged. ‘So, they got paid early. I don’t see that as a problem.’
‘You should do. With their pay-packets in their pockets there’s always the danger they won’t show up again after lunch.’
‘If that’s the case I’ll see that they’re sacked,’ Jeremy said, annoyed at the man’s implied criticism, ‘and you can tell them that.’
Dick looked at him for a moment as if about to say something, but then he just shook his head, as though in disgust, before walking away.