A Broken Us (London Lover Series Book 1) (24 page)

After everything is cleaned up, Brody asks me
if he can drive me back to Cadence’s house. I nod in acceptance, unable to come
up with a legitimate reason to say no.

As we wind through the gravel roads, away from
the bridge, Brody reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling it to his lap. I look
down at our hands and feel sadness at the comfort of his hands holding mine.

“You okay?” he asks, softly.

“Yeah, that was intense, but gosh, Cadence is
amazing,” I reply, incredulously.

“Yeah, she is. I think she looked almost
peaceful after it was over.”

I shake my head. “Amazing.”

“So what’s your plan now?” he asks, looking
over at me with his wide blue eyes.

I search his face, looking for signs of where
he’s going with this but I don’t see any.

“Back to London, I suppose.” I pull my hand out
of his.

He nods, “I figured.”

He
figured?
I have no clue where this is going, and the longer we drive, the
smaller his truck begins to feel.

“
Gonna
continue
working for Val over there?” he asks.

I shrug, not really feeling like talking about
work right now. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“It’s good money, right?” he says.

Seriously,
is this truck shrinking?

“It’s fine,” I reply.

“If Frank continues to refuse your rent check,
it should be pretty easy to live over there, right?”

“What?” I ask, confused with why the hell he’s
asking me these questions.

Feeling suddenly hot, I roll the window down
and lean my head out, craving the fresh air.

“It’d be cool, too, if you could work directly
for that jewelry company. They seem to like you enough,” he says, perfectly
calm.

“Can you just stop?” I reply, loudly.

“Stop what?” he asks, looking at me, confused.

“Stop asking me all these dumb, normal
questions, like this is totally normal for us. You know what, just pull over.
Pull over right here,” I say, as we approach a small wooded area with large
trees covered in bright orange leaves.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, sounding alarmed.

“I need air!” I say, as I leach the car door
open and get out, walking unsteadily in my heels, deeper into the little forest
area.

Brody hops out and follows behind me.

“I was just curious,” he says

“Enough, okay?” I say, swerving around to face
him. “I can’t take this, Brody. I can’t take you acting like you don’t give a
crap that I’m going to be in London, and you’re going to be here, and we’re
just going to go our separate ways, and do our separate things from now on.
This day is depressing enough.” I turn around and duck beneath a tree with
low-hanging orange leaves.

“I do give a crap,” he says, grabbing my elbow
and pulling me backward into him. “I care like crazy, Fin,” he breathes into my
ear, his hands on both of my arms, holding me tightly against him.

My chest rises and falls with his close
contact.

“Brody…” I start, my heart aching at his
wonderful touch.

“Just let me say this, Finley,” he says,
turning me to face him while continuing to hold me by my arms.

“When you said what you said back in London,
about me leaving you because you can’t ever get pregnant…that ruined
us,
Finley. It ruined everything we were
about.”

“I know, Brody! And I can’t tell you how sorry
I am for that,” I say, defensively, not wanting to listen to this anymore.

“I know you’re sorry. But I’m even sorrier. I’m
sorry I didn’t show you that
you
were
more important to me than
us
.
You,
Finley, are everything to me. I am
nothing without you. I don’t care about loving us anymore. Don’t you see that?
I want to love you, and you alone. Because if I don’t have you to love in my
life, then I have nothing, Finley. You’re it for me. Can’t you see that?”

Tears fill my eyes. Seriously, how do I even
have tears left?

“Brody, I can’t be with you. You’re going to be
an amazing father someday and I can’t take that from you. Don’t you see how
that could ruin whatever it is we have? I’ll resent myself, Brody! I will! I’ll
hate myself for not giving us an
us
baby
.”

“Finley,” he groans, and tucks my hair behind
my ears. “I don’t give a shit about having an
us baby
. You’re what I care about. For all I care, I’ll be the best
fucking uncle the M&Ms and the world have ever seen!”

I laugh at that.

“I’m serious, Finley. Those girls fulfill a lot
for me. If you’ll have me, I’ll be an uncle to the best three girls in the
world, with the woman I’ve been dreaming of my whole life.”

“Brody, I’ve changed so much these past six
weeks. I love London. I love being near Leslie…and Frank even.”

“That’s fine!” he rushes, and kisses me quickly
on the lips. “I’m where you are, babe. I’m with you. Forever. I’ll live there,
too. Or we’ll get our own place, right next door if you want. I don’t care.
Can’t you see that, Finley? Can’t you see how badly I need you?”

“I need you, too!” I cry, my reserve crumbling.

“Then stop
fighting
this,” he says, and smashes his lips into mine, squeezing his arms around my
waist, my hands resting on his chest.

“Brody, wait…” I pull back, but then look at
his lips and think better of it. I pull his face against mine again, threading
my fingers through his beautiful curly brown hair. His beautifully familiar
hair.

I push him away again. “I need you to be clear
on this Brody. I can’t have a baby. Ever.”

“I don’t care. We’ll adopt!” he laughs, kissing
my nose. “Or we’ll foster, or we’ll just rock the auntie and uncle titles and
travel the world together and never have children. I don’t care, Finley. Just
as long as it’s all…all of it…with
you
.”

“We’ll figure it out together?” I ask, one more
time, scared out of my mind at the possibility of losing Brody again.

“Yes, baby. Together,” he says, kissing me
again and pulling back to murmur against my lips. “Life is too precious to
spend another second away from you, Finley. I love you, baby. I’ll love you
forever.”

“I love you, Brody,” I breathe heavily against
his face. “I promise I will love you fiercely and forever,” I say, staring
deeply into his eyes.

“That’s all I’ll ever need,” he whispers,
against my lips.

I grab his face again and connect our lips in a
hungry, desperate kiss. Brody grasps my face in his hands, reverently consuming
my entire mind, body, and soul. This is a kiss to end all kisses. I’ll never be
the same after this kind of kiss. And I never want to be.
 

I need to feel complete with Brody. I need to
feel like I’m enough. Enough of a woman for him to love me through it all.
Brody gives me that feeling in spades. It was my own issues and insecurities
that made me doubt what we had before. I had to grieve the loss of being able
to have a child, and accept the idea of only having Brody. Brody is all I want,
and all I need. And amazingly, I’m all he wants, and all he needs. I’m enough.
I am enough
.

Call me crazy. Call me stupid. Call me naive.
But I really, honestly, and truly, never saw this day coming. Not even when I
first met Brody and felt all the warm
fuzzies
a new
relationship makes one feel. It just never was a part of our plan. It didn’t
seem like a part of our future.

I. Was. Wrong.

The intense joy I felt when Brody got down on
one knee and asked me to marry him at Christmas time, was similar to the
exhilaration I felt the time I jumped off a forty-foot cliff into a river in
Colorado. It was exciting and terrifying. The adrenaline and pure happiness
those acts evoked, was like, the best kind of high.

 
The
fact that it was the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen was just an added bonus.
Brody bought me a huge blue sapphire with tiny white diamonds wrapped around
the stone and the thick platinum band. The blue reminded me of his eyes every
time I looked at it. It was non-traditional and one-hundred percent me. I found
myself surprised at the pure pride I felt having a ring on that particular
finger.

Brody and I made up after Baby George’s
memorial service and we immediately made big plans for our future together.
We’d fallen into a new, wonderful version of normal. We agreed that we would
wait to decide what we wanted for our future in regards to having a family
because we had plenty of time ahead of us and we knew without a doubt, we were
in this together. Our immediate future plans were on hold until after the
holidays. We just needed time to reconnect and talk through our feelings before
we worried about where we were going to live.
 

I smile every time I think of Brody’s proposal.
He caught me completely off guard, dropping down to one knee at my sister’s
house, in front of their Christmas tree. I didn’t know what the hell was going
on until I saw him fumbling awkwardly inside his pocket.

He pulled out a small, velvet jewelry box and
said, “A wise woman once told me, in no uncertain terms,
Put a ring on her finger or your ass is grass,
and that’s exactly what
I’m doing.”

I laughed as I heard the M&Ms gasping at
his curse word. Cadence joined me in the laughter and I looked over at her and
saw instant happy tears. That sounded just like Cadence. Her tears cemented the
fact that Brody was actually proposing to me right now! George watched happily,
and I looked back at Brody with an incredulous look.

Thankfully, he saved himself from that horrible
proposal speech by saying, “Luckily, it was already a part of my plan.” And he
flashed his eyebrows flirtatiously at me.

Because I’m an idiot, and don’t think before I
speak, the first words out of my mouth after he asked me to marry him, were,
“Brody, we don’t have to!”

His face was horrifying. He looked like he
wanted to kill me, but was restraining himself. I’ll never live that one down.
We don’t have to? Gosh, how big of a jerk am
I?

However, I don’t regret saying those words to
him at all, because I can still vividly remember his epic response.

“I know we don’t have to, Finley, but I want
to. I want to love you and cherish you for the rest of my life. I want to see
this ring on your finger, and know that you are mine and I am yours, and that
together, we will figure things out.”

Tears filled my eyes as my skepticism crumbled
beneath his beautiful words. I cried out a yes, and dropped to my knees,
hugging him like I’d never hugged him before. I never thought a proposal from
Brody would make me so happy, but hearing him ask me, and seeing that ring and
the pride and joy on his face as he placed it on my finger, was overpowering.

I wanted to marry this man. I wanted him to
refer to me as his wife. I wanted to refer to him as my husband. It felt like a
final puzzle piece had been placed.

After we got engaged, the biggest change in our
relationship was our move overseas. Brody was the one to suggest it, and I was
shocked and thrilled. I always took him as a Midwesterner for life, and I knew
he loved his job. But he told me that he meant it when he said we’d figure our
lives out together.

A week after the New Year, we put our house up
for sale and sold most of our furniture and possessions on
Craigslist
. It was surreal, boxing up all of our keepsakes and
shipping them off with a London postcode on the box.

Frank was elated when I told him I was moving back
to London with Brody. He said we were welcome to stay as long as we wanted and
that he loved having extras in his house. Especially extras that looked like
Brody. I told him that there wouldn’t be any more peepshows if I had a say in
it, and he told me in no uncertain terms to
buggar
off.
The cheeky bastard.

The biggest excitement that further secured our
move to London was when Mrs. Adamson offered me a job at
Faith’s Miracle Jewelry
as their fulltime marketing representative.
The second the offer came out of Mrs. Adamson’s mouth, I, albeit
unprofessionally, squealed with excitement. She laughed kindly through the
phone, obviously pleased with my eagerness to come back to London and work for
her. My official title will still remain under the umbrella of Val’s company,
because a job transfer is a lot easier to manage in terms of living in a
foreign country.

I felt awful leaving Val, but she told me she
saw it coming when I first left. She also said she was going to keep me busier
than I could handle with extra freelance work, and I smiled and hugged her
tightly. I owed a lot to Val. Not only did she teach me everything I knew, but
she connected me with the best employers I could ever have hoped for.

Brody’s job situation was still up in the air.
The fact that we were getting married was making things a lot simpler, though.
He said he’d start seriously job hunting after the wedding once we were all
settled. Thankfully, we had a decent little nest egg saved up, thanks to the
big profit we made on our house sale, and since we sold most of our furniture.
Not to mention, Frank’s continued refusal of accepting rent payments.

When we arrived at the house, all of our
shipped boxes were in the master bedroom down the hall from the living room.
Apparently, Frank had called his parents to ask them if he could rent out their
room and they were surprised he had left it empty all this time. Brody and I
were pleasantly surprised to walk into a gorgeous, fully furnished master
bedroom with a master bathroom attached to it. It felt like a honeymoon suite
we got to live in 24/7, dual shower heads and all. However, Brody and I missed
our tiny purple twin mattress on the third floor. We may have missed it enough
to christen it again…a couple of times. Four times, tops.

Brody adjusted really well to living in London.
He and Leslie were already friends and he seemed to be developing some sort of
weird
bromance
with Mitch that we all made fun of constantly. Brody introduced him to the TV
show,
Breaking Bad,
and ever since then,
they were nearly inseparable. All I had to do was say purple sheets and Brody
would drop whatever he was doing with Mitch and come running.

I saw Liam about a month after Brody and I
moved to London. He stopped by with Theo one Sunday afternoon. It was awkward
and nerve-wracking at first, but he seemed genuinely happy for me and Brody. He
actually shook hands with Brody and the two of them appeared to be able to
tolerate each other. After the whole Jake fiasco in college, I would have never
guessed Brody would be able to be cool and normal with Liam. But Brody and I
really had come a long way. We were maturing together, and with that, came a
newfound confidence in our relationship. I knew Brody wasn’t going anywhere and
he knew I wasn’t going anywhere. We loved each other, through and through.

Liam told me he was glad I found my very own
fixer, and I thanked him for being a great friend to me when I needed it most.
The girl who ends up with Liam will be incredibly lucky.

***

The waves crash against the beach outside and I
walk carefully over to the patio to enjoy the view. We chose Mexico to get
married because it’s quick and easy. We waited until later in the spring to
ensure that my sister was feeling one-hundred percent recovered and could fully
enjoy the day with us.

The color of the aqua water crashing onto the
white sandy beach is simply stunning. I can’t believe in fifteen minutes I’ll
be walking down the sand to Brody.
My
husband.
I reach down to touch a
Faith’s
Miracle Jewelry
piece that Mrs. Adamson made for me especially for this
day. Mr. and Mrs. Adamson and Sheila are even down here in Mexico for the big
day, and I am excited to celebrate with them.

The necklace they made me has blue stones in an
antique silver lattice setting. She told me it was my something old, new, and
blue. My niece, Megan, loaned me a beautiful white flower hairpiece for my
something borrowed. My long brown hair is curled, and pinned over to one side
down the front of my shoulder, and her flower is the perfect accent. She
blushed a fierce shade of crimson when I asked her if she thought Brody would
like it.
 

“Oh, Finley,” my mother says, gasping as she
walks into my hotel suite. “I’ve never seen a prettier bride. Don’t tell your
sister,” she says, hugging me and trembling slightly from the silent tears
she’s shedding.

“I’m sitting right here, Mom,” Cadence’s voice
cuts through the moment.

“Oh, shut up. This is
Finny’s
day,” she says, pulling back and handing me a small bouquet of deep purple
calla lilies.

“Dad’s waiting downstairs for you, sweetie. Are
you ready?” she asks.

I nod, looking at myself in the mirror one more
time. My dress is fierce. It’s a lightweight, soft taffeta material and has a
huge, wide skirt, yet remains beautifully simple. The waistline hugs me in the
perfect spot and there’s beautiful intricate beading adorned in the deep
v-front. The back dips down incredibly low and has thin spaghetti straps that
come to the front.
I’m definitely ready.

My dad smiles approvingly at me when I enter
the resort lobby. He leans over and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek. With one
more deep breath, we head down to the beach where everyone is waiting.

The song playing me down the beach isle is
I Won’t Give Up by Jason
Mraz
.
As soon as I hear the song, my emotions take over and a small sob erupts from
my throat. My dad pats my hand, soothingly, and we pass through two concrete
pillars…and then,
I see him.

Brody looks simply perfect in his light linen
trousers and white button-down shirt with a few buttons undone. I blink my
eyes, rapidly, trying to clear them so I can see his face better. His brown,
curly hair is slightly longer, just the way I like it, and his sleeves are
rolled up his forearm. His fresh Mexico tan makes him look sexier than I ever
remember him looking. I feel my dad pulling me back, preventing me from running
down the aisle and jumping into Brody’s arms, which is exactly what I want to
do. Then again, the other part of me wants to continue walking down this aisle
for the rest of my life. The complete look of adoration on Brody’s face is
something I could stare at forever.

When my dad hands me over to Brody, I reach
over and hug him tightly, fighting myself not to kiss him. His eyes are red when
I pull away and he smiles back at me like he’s the proudest guy in the whole
universe.

I don’t hear much of what the minister says,
except for the part where he tells us it’s time for us to exchange vows.

I go first.

“Brody. Today I get to call you my husband. My
man,” I smile, and two tears slip out. “Thank you for loving me through all my
craziness and for seeing me better than I’ve ever been able to see myself. Only
you could have made me feel like the woman I am meant to be and not like the work
in progress I really am. Thank you for forgiving me when I didn’t see us for
the truly special thing we are together. You are remarkable, Brody. You are my
absolute world. You have given so much to me, and I promise to give you all
that and more. I’ll do whatever it takes to continue making you…and us…happy in
our marriage. And I promise to be honest and open with you for the rest of my
life. I love you.”

Brody looks down, wiping tears out of his eyes.
The air around us is utterly still as he takes a moment and clears his throat
before he begins.

“Finley. My Finley. My forever,” he says, with
a smile and looks down. “Today I marry you and thank God that I get to keep
you. I would have fought forever for you, Finley, and I’m so happy that today I
get to call you my wife. I will never need anyone in my life, more than I need
you. I will never love anyone in my life more than I love you. I will never
cherish anyone in my life more than I cherish you. Finley, I want to travel the
world with you. I want to experience life with you. And I want grow and change
with you. Together, Finley, if we’re together, I will be the happiest I can
ever be in my life. And I’ll do everything in my power to make you the happiest
you can be in your life. You are all I’ll ever need in this world. My Finley.
My wife.”