Authors: Ruth Ann Nordin
Tags: #love, #north dakota, #stranger, #sex, #romance, #prairie, #Historical, #widow
She clenched the reins in her hands as
she urged the horses forward. She didn’t want to think it. But what
if it was true? Dare she even ask? No. She couldn’t. She didn’t
want to know. She didn’t want to think she might have fallen in
love with someone she had no right to love.
But if he was married, then he needed
to go home to his wife. It was only right. And that would explain
everything, wouldn’t it? What other reason could there possibly
be?
She glanced in his direction for a
moment. He looked unhappy but didn’t speak. Perhaps this hurt him
as much as it hurt her. Still, if he was married, then they had to
do the right thing. Settling into the silence that hovered between
them, she turned her gaze forward.
***
Cole studied Penelope’s profile as she
steered the wagon into town. He wanted to remember her, to sear her
beauty into his memory forever. He’d miss her when he left. It was
a real shame that they weren’t allotted more time together. Had she
been born in his time, or he born in hers, perhaps things would
have ended differently.
He decided that he could at least load
her wagon full of supplies before he left. She stopped the horses
in front of the general store, and he got out first so he could
help her down.
She took his hand and thanked
him.
When they entered the store, she gave
the owner a list of supplies she needed, and Cole helped the owner
fill her wagon. Once Cole loaded the last box, he glanced at the
train station.
“
When is the next train due
to leave for Fargo?” he asked the owner.
“
About an hour from
now.”
“
Thanks.”
Cole stood by the wagon, watching
Penelope fiddle with her long sleeves as she waited for him. She
looked at him and he sensed the unspoken question in her eyes.
She’d asked him if he’d be returning with her, but he hadn’t said.
He couldn’t. His future wasn’t here with her, and if she knew what
kind of man he was, she wouldn’t have him.
He’d anticipated getting back on the
train, but now he dreaded it. Taking a deep breath, he approached
her. “Would you like to get something to eat? It’s been a long time
since you’ve been to a restaurant.”
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, he
knew, but she nodded and strolled with him to the restaurant.
During their meal, they didn’t say much to each other. He couldn’t
think of anything to talk about. How did a man say, “I think I’m
falling in love with you but I can’t stay” to the most wonderful
woman in the world? He couldn’t, so he didn’t. He lingered for as
long as he dared, but the hour came to a close and he needed to get
on the train. This was where they were meant to part. She’d go her
way. He’d go his. And he’d dream of her every night for the rest of
his life, wondering if she would think of him and wondering if she
found a good man, a decent man, to marry.
He walked her back to the wagon, and
she turned to him. The wind blew the stray strands of her hair
around her head. Her blue eyes looked up at him. He tried to stop
himself, wanted to stop, but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes and
kissed her. Her lips were soft, the softest he’d ever felt on a
woman. And despite the fact that they were in public in the late
1800s, he took her in his arms and deepened the kiss. She responded
to him, matching his passion with hers, and he marveled that he
could mean so much to her in the short time they’d known each
other.
He reluctantly let her go, aware of
the stares from onlookers.
She smiled at him. “Cole, we can find
a preacher and get married. I hoped you loved me, and I love you
too.”
He almost said yes and took her to the
first preacher they could find but then he caught sight of his
reflection in the store window and remembered who he
was.
“
I can’t,” he softly said,
hating the words even as he spoke them. He saw the hurt in her eyes
and quickly looked away. “You’ll do better without me.”
“
You’re wrong.” She moved
close to him and rested her hand on his arm. “Please
stay.”
He winced. “I have to go. I don’t
belong here. I’m sorry.”
Before she could further protest, he
strode away from her. He knew she watched him, but he refused to
look back because he knew if he did, he’d end up running back to
her. His hand wrapped around the time travel device in his pocket.
Fargo. He had to get to Fargo. He entered the train station. It was
small but Blake was nowhere in sight, and the train came to a
stop.
He glanced out the window and clenched
his jaw, refusing to let the image of Penelope still watching him
change his mind. He’d come too far to turn back now. He’d find a
way to make it up to her. He’d bury the gold where she could find
it. Her future would be secure. He’d do one thing right in life
before he died.
***
He must be married.
That was the only reason why he would leave.
Penelope knew the intensity in his kiss meant he loved her. There
was no mistaking it. She’d been kissed by the man her parents
wanted her to marry, and she’d been kissed by Randy. She knew the
difference between a kiss given out of obligation and one given out
of love. And Cole loved her.
She stared out the window of her
sister-in-law’s house. The train had left a good hour ago. Cole was
on it, heading off to who knew where...and probably to his
wife.
“
You haven’t moved from
that spot since you got here,” her sister-in-law softly
spoke.
Penelope turned from the window that
faced the train tracks. “I’m sorry, Sandra.”
The older woman smiled and motioned to
the couch in the parlor. “We have the house to ourselves at the
moment. Once Lawrence brings the children back from his parents’,
we won’t have any peace.”
She accepted the invitation and sat
down. What point was there in looking out the window? Cole wasn’t
coming back. Maybe if she said that to herself long enough, she’d
believe it.
Sandra settled next to her. “How have
you been doing?”
“
Fine.”
“
Penelope, I know that we
don’t know each other well. My brother took you out to the middle
of nowhere right after you two married. Granted, we see each other
the few times you come to town, but you haven’t looked this sad
since he died.”
She took a deep breath, wishing
Randy’s sister hadn’t been the type that was so perceptive. “I met
someone.”
“
And?”
“
And nothing. He just left
on the train.”
“
Tell me about
it.”
Penelope hesitated but realized that
she needed someone to talk to. Sandra was Randy’s sister, and it
almost felt like a sacrilege to admit she loved another
man...despite the fact that Randy was no longer alive. To her
relief, Sandra didn’t balk at the thought of her falling in love
with someone else.
Sandra took her hand in hers. “If Cole
is married, then this is for the best.”
“
I know. But if he
isn’t...”
“
If he isn’t?”
“
Then why didn’t he
stay?”
She offered a sympathetic smile. “I’m
afraid that’s something you’ll never know.”
It was true...and obvious.
“
Will you stay here a
couple of days? The kids would like to see you.”
Penelope nodded. “Yes, I
can do that.” And if Cole returned, then she’d be close by. She
chided herself on such thinking.
He’s not
coming back and no amount of wishing or praying will make that
happen.
Turning back to the conversation,
she asked, “How old are my two nieces and nephew now?”
“
Would you believe they are
ten, seven and three?”
“
Already?” She sighed.
“Time goes fast.” Though out in the middle of the prairie where her
little home stood, it seemed to stand still. It seemed as if the
world moved on without her.
“
Oh, you’ll have to meet
Martha.”
“
Who’s Martha?”
“
She’s an Indian. We don’t
know what tribe she’s from or her real name. She doesn’t speak
English, and we don’t speak her language either. She arrived in
town off one of the train cars, and not the one you pay to be
on.”
“
She hopped a
train?”
Sandra nodded. “The men found her when
they were unloading crates of supplies for the general store. They
brought her to the church and the preacher and his wife took her
in.”
“
I wonder why she would
leave her tribe?”
“
I suspect the fact that
she’s expecting had something to do with it. Of course, it’s all
speculation on our part. No one will know the truth until she
learns our language. Anyway, this Sunday, you’ll get a chance to
meet her.”
“
Alright.”
Sandra stood and smoothed her skirt.
“The kids will be home any minute. Let’s get your things put away.
I’m sure they’ll want to talk your ear off.”
Penelope joined her in walking up the
narrow stairs. She welcomed the chance to be surrounded by children
who weren’t old enough to ask her questions about her love
life...or a lack thereof. It might be the thing she needed to take
her mind off Cole and what could’ve been.
Chapter Ten
Penelope knelt in front of Randy’s
tombstone and let her tears fall. She’d spent a week with Sandra,
and now it was time to leave. This was her last stop before heading
back to her home. The home she and Randy planned to stay at...where
they were supposed to grow old together. She placed the flowers
down and leaned against the tombstone. She didn’t know why it made
her feel close to him when she did that.
“
You should have taken me
with him,” she prayed. “Why did you separate us?”
It seemed like a cruel twist of fate
to escape a life of misery with a man who wouldn’t love her to find
one that did--one that died before his time. But even as she
mourned Randy’s passing, her thoughts were on Cole. Twice she had
loved...twice she had been loved...and both men were taken from
her. One she buried. The other she watched board a train to never
see again.
She hadn’t slept well. Each night, she
rolled over in the bed in Sandra’s house to either see Randy lying
beside her or Cole lying on the floor. Visiting Randy’s sister
brought back his memories with surprising force. A part of her
would always love him. Cole hadn’t replaced him. But Cole had
another part of her now. And even though he was alive, she couldn’t
have him.
After a fitful sleep, she woke each
morning and watched the passengers as they left the train station,
always hoping that Cole would be one of them. But he never
was.
And she was tired. Tired of fighting
the inevitable.
She touched the cool surface of the
tombstone. “You would have liked him, Randy. I know you don’t want
me to spend the rest of my life alone, but I don’t think there’s
any other future for me.”
She closed her eyes and recalled the
last time she’d spoken to her husband. She placed the cool, damp
cloth on his forehead and tried not to cry. She couldn’t remember a
time when she’d been more terrified. He didn’t look good. His face
was pale, and his breathing was rough. She’d prayed for him and
read to him. But she could tell he wasn’t getting
better.
The bitter wind pounded against the
cabin and she pulled the shawl tighter around her shoulders. She
hastened to the cook stove and threw in more wood, mentally
calculating how much they had left. In the morning, if the snow let
up, she’d go to the cellar and bring more up to the
barn.
“
Penelope.”
She turned to the raspy voice. She
rushed over to him and grabbed his hand. “I’m here. What do you
need?”
Opening his eyes, he looked at her. “I
love you, sweetheart. You”--he coughed--“you know that. Don’t
you?”
“
Yes. I love you too. Can I
get you something to drink? Are you hungry?”
“
No.”
“
Can’t you try?” He hadn’t
had anything to eat or drink in three days and nothing she tried
made him want to have anything. “Please?”
“
My time is coming,
sweetheart. I’m going home.”
She shook her head and tightened her
grip. “No! Fight, Randy. Don’t give up.” Her body trembled at the
thought of letting him go. Why would God do this to her? To
him?
He cupped her face in his hands. “I’m
so glad you came to me. You were the best thing that’s ever
happened to me.” He brushed the tears that fell down her cheeks.
“Promise me you’ll marry again. I don’t want you to be
alone.”
“
I don’t want anyone else!”
Her voice choked and she could no longer control her sobbing. She
embraced him and let her head settle on his chest. “Fight. Just
hold on. If you can get through another night...”
“
I’m sorry.” She felt his
lips on the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m
so sorry.”
Then his hold loosened and his arms
fell back to his sides. She didn’t want to look up but knew she had
to. When she saw his lifeless eyes staring ahead, she broke down
and continued to cry on his chest. No more raspy breathing. No more
heartbeat.