A Child's Heart (Trent & Cassie's Story) A River City Novel (7 page)

“Are you talking about last night?”

“And my past and future.”

“What’s in the box?” She began to fix a pot of
coffee.

“My past.”

“So, why is it here?”

“I asked my mom about Colleen’s things, and she had
them. Well, not everything. There are a few things missing that I
wished she had saved.”

“So, why is it here?”

“I thought…maybe you’d want to see it.”

She shook her head as if to clear
the cobwebs.
Why would I want to see
them?
“They're your memories.”

“Will you look?”

“Yes. But I’m not sure why you want me to do
this.”

He glanced at the gurgling coffeepot and then at
Cassie. “I don’t know either, other than Colleen is my wife.”

“Well, there’s one thing. Let me guess. You are
feeling guilty because we had sex last night?”

***

He turned his gaze away from her.
She collected his hand into hers and brought it to her lips. Warmth
spread down his arm and right to his heart, where it masked all his
other feelings for a moment.
Yes,
guilt.

“Coffee is ready. How do you like it?”

“Black and sweet.”

She giggled. “One more thing we have in common.”

“I doubt we have much in common.”

She fixed two cups and passed him one before opening
the box. “Curiosity is killing me.”

~~7~~

Cassie leaned into Trent’s shoulder and he wrapped
his arm around her. He felt too good. His warm muscular body was
lightly scented with a natural musky smell of male. She planted a
noisy puckered kiss on his neck, as she ran her fingertips over his
unshaven face. She forced herself away from his body.

“Do you want my opinion on what to do with the
contents of this box?”

He shrugged.

“Give the glass heart box to Shawn. He can keep it in
a drawer. It’s not crystal or anything very special, but it was his
mom’s. He can keep little things in it. The jewelry needs to be
kept for him. With luck, his bride can wear the earrings on her
wedding day. It’s called family heirlooms.”

“You’re assuming he’s going to live that long.”

“Yes. And you need to start to think about him
surviving and becoming a man.”

“Right now, I can’t think past the surgery.”

“And between now and June first, you could be killed.
We don’t know what is in store for us. You never in your wildest
dreams thought you’d lose Colleen during childbirth.”

“You’re right. I thought we’d always be
together.”

“Give him the picture of his mom. You don’t have to
hang it in his room, but at least he should have it so he can look
at it. You can hang it in his closet, if you don’t want to look at
it.” She grinned and stared deep into Trent’s eyes. “I thought he
looked like you, but I can see he looks more like his mom.”

“He has her eyes and her smile. I see her in him all
the time. He’s that little piece that lives on.”

“Yes. He is.” She ran her hand down his arm. “The
rest of this is…I don’t want to seem insensitive, but it’s
junk.”

He nodded. “I’m not ready to dispose of it. I just
got it back.”

“I understand. Give me a second. I think I have a
better box for these things.”

She found a small pretty box in her closet. Reaching
into the box she removed the contents and set them on her bureau. A
thought flashed through her mind, and she fished through a drawer
before returning to the kitchen.

“Here. And this is better for holding her jewelry. I
never use it.” She put the various items into the tiny padded
velvet sachet, meant to hold jewelry while traveling. Then she
handed it to him, as she packed the other things into the pretty
container.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He put the jewelry into the box and placed the lid on
it. “This does seem more appropriate for her things.”

“I can’t tell you what to feel, but maybe I can give
you some insight. If I had been married to you and died, I’d be
delighted if you found someone such as Colleen to love. I wouldn’t
want you spending the rest of your life alone. What you had with
Colleen was special, and you’ll always hold that love you had for
each other in your heart. But what if you had two sons? Would you
love one more than the other?”

“Of course not.”

She ran her fingers through the hair on his forearm.
“Because we always have the capacity to love another?”

“Maybe.”

“What do you feel towards me?”

Trent shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I appreciate your honesty. I’m rather uncertain of
my feelings towards you at this moment in time.” She poured what
was left of her now cold cup of coffee down the drain and refilled
it. “I know what I feel when you touch me, and it’s not
ho-hum.”

“Whatever I’m doing to you, I like it.”

“So do I.” She grinned. “You’re special and so is
Shawn.”

“I’m not ready to jump into a heavy
relationship.”

“I agree. Shawn’s surgery and opening old wounds with
Colleen’s things, makes it a difficult time for you. I’m in a new
job with lots of problems. These things are not conducive to
building a relationship.” She sipped her coffee and stared into his
gray-blue eyes, obviously filled with pain. “One step at a time. I
know what I feel when we’re together.”

He took her hand and attempted to smile. “I do have
feelings for you, but they don’t make any sense to me.”

“Why?”

“You’re a doctor.”

“I have my PhD. That means I have huge college loans
that I’ll be paying on for the next ten years. By the time I deduct
my loan payments, you probably bring home more money than I
do.”

“I doubt that.”

“If you are really curious, it’s a city job, and my
salary is public. Go check the city’s website. The sanitation
manager makes more than I do.”

He looked at her askance, and she nodded.

“It sucks. I’ve got a PhD in ancient history. That,
and a couple of bucks will buy you a good cup of coffee.” She took
a sip from her cup and smiled at him. “At least, you have a trade
and a skill.”

His thumb lightly stroked the back of her hand and
she curled her fingers tighter around his.

“It’s not just the income,” he said in almost a
whisper.

“Then what is it?”

“I’m just a guy who finished high school. Who has a
job working for a local company. I’m living with my mother, and
praying my son will live long enough to reach maturity.”

“There’s nothing wrong with living at home. It’s
obvious that your mom loves you and Shawn. I think the whole city
is pulling for him.”

“I’m not giving up hope, but it’s a tiny thread. I’m
realistic enough to know that his chance of survival is slim, and
if this surgery doesn’t work--”

“No. From what Tate has told me, this surgery will
work. He’s got the best possible team of doctors. If he doesn’t
have this surgery, he’ll die. We’re all going to die eventually,
but I don’t think we’re supposed to bury our children. Hold tight
to the hope of a normal life for him.”

He shook his head as he picked up his coffee, then
drained the cup. “I am. It’s hard, and I try to make every minute I
have with him count.”

“Let me take him to the beach. We can build
sandcastles and collect seashells.”

“You don’t understand. I don’t have money to repay
you or even pay a portion of the expense.”

“Aside from gas and food, there won’t be much expense
if we stay at the Makowllen’s. They aren’t wealthy people, just
comfortable, and they want to do this for Shawn. Karen Makowllen
was honestly upset that she wouldn’t be there to provide for us.
She loves children and playing hostess.”

“It does sound like fun, and I’m sure Shawn would
love it.”

“Then say yes.”

***

All Cassie wanted was for a simple commitment from
Trent, but he failed to give one to her. Deep inside, she knew his
resolve was eroding. It was only a few hours drive and the thought
of lounging on the beach beckoned like the bright beam from the
lighthouse.

Not wanting to make too many plans for the short
visit, she immersed herself in her work. She had the school board
meeting Tuesday evening, and she had to have everything organized
for her presentation. There was no reason why those classrooms
could not eventually be used, and in the meantime, she did have two
smaller rooms on the main floor that would suffice.

Totally absorbed in the project,
time flew. Pushing her shoulders into the chair and reaching as far
as possible above her head, she stretched. Panic ran through her as
the time on the clock registered.
Oh,
no!
She grabbed the phone and called
Trent.

“Hi, Shawn, It’s Cassie. May I speak to your
father?”

“He’s in his woodshop. I’ve got to go get him.”

“Before you do, was there anything in particular that
you wanted to do today?”

“Nope!”

Quickly she asked, “Ever been fishing?”

“Nope. But Daddy has. He’s got fishing poles and
everything in the garage.”

“Really? Do you think he’s got three of them?”

“Oh, he’s got a whole big bunch of them.”

“I know there’s a nice lake at the State Park. Think
we could talk him into going fishing?”

“He said you’ve got to have a license to go fishing,
and that costs money.”

“I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s only a few
dollars. And I guess we’d need bait, but I have no idea what the
fish at the lake would like to eat.”

“Worms. Isn’t that what goes on the hook?”

She grinned. “I have an idea. Why don’t I hang up and
make a few phone calls to see if I can buy fishing licenses today.
And while I’m doing that, you can ask Daddy about what we need for
bait. Tell him I’m going to call him back in about thirty minutes,
and if we can work this out, we’ll all go fishing. If not, you’ll
need to think of something else we can all do.”

“Okay. Do I hang up now?”

“Yes, Shawn. Goodbye.”

The little voice on the other end of the phone said a
hurried bye.

She pulled the city directory from
a drawer and began to make a few phone calls. It took several calls
before she found a place to buy fishing licenses. Shawn wouldn’t
need one, as he was under the age of ten. She was also pleasantly
surprised to discover that the licenses were only a few dollars,
and she could buy bait at the same place.
I’ll pack a few sandwiches and we’ll have a
picnic.

***

“Hello,” Trent answered.

“Hi, did Shawn tell you what we were discussing?”
Cassie asked.

“I can’t spend a bunch of money.”

“Just how much is a bunch?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Seriously, Trent, the license is dirt cheap. Getting
caught without one is a huge fine. Our licenses and the bait will
be less than twelve dollars. Shawn said you have fishing poles. The
way I figure it is once we have the licenses, we can do this often,
and it will only be the cost of the bait.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yes. It’s the hunting licenses that are expensive. I
thought maybe I’d pack some sandwiches for us, and we could have a
picnic.”

“I’ve got a better idea because I doubt you have a
cooler. I’ll bring the drinks and the sandwiches. I’ve got orange
juice, apple juice, or Pepsi.”

“I’ve got bottled water and flavored water. I’ll
bring my own beverage and some extras. I’ve also got pretzels,
chips, and some mini bags of cookies. I can make a salad. I’ve got
a bag of greens and some grape tomatoes.”

“Plastic forks?”

“No. Do you have them?"

"I do.”

"Super!"

“You’re on. Give me about forty-five minutes. I’m
covered in sawdust, and I’ll pick you up.”

She smiled when she hung up the
phone. For once, he wasn’t fighting with her about the money, and
maybe that’s because they were sharing the expense. Gleefully, she
changed into jeans and a tee shirt. But when she checked in the
mirror, her heart sank. Colleen had been voluptuous and rounded.
The image in the mirror was that of a young boy.
He didn’t seem to mind the other night, but maybe
he was too horny to care.

Turning sideways and peering at
the reflection, only served to emphasize the smallness of her
breasts. She popped the tee shirt over her head and quickly found
something more feminine. The pale blue silk knit hugged her body
and was cut lower in the front.
At least
it shows what little I have.

Rummaging through her jewelry box, she found a small
pendant that hung teasingly low. She put matching earrings in her
ears, then pulled her hair into a ponytail. Taking one last brief
glance in the long mirror, she smiled as she left her bedroom,
hoping the jewelry would pique Trent’s interest and Shawn wouldn’t
know what he was seeing.

~~8~~

When Cassie’s doorbell rang, she grabbed her package
off the counter and opened the door to Trent and Shawn.
“Welcome!”

“Wow, this place is awesome,” Shawn said with wide
eyes and a bright grin.

She put her parcel by the door and offered to show
him the birdcage.

“You have a bird?” Shawn's eyes lit up.

“No, it’s a porch, but all the residents call it a
birdcage. There’s a nice view of the city.” She opened two French
doors to a small balcony fully encased in a decorative wrought iron
fence.

Shawn pointed. “You can see the river from here.”

“And there’s the hospital, and if you look real hard,
you’ll see the green strip that is part of the park.”

“Quite a view,” Trent reiterated.

“Would you believe I’m not real fond of such
heights?”