A Christmas to Remember (19 page)

Adam stopped outside a small restaurant, the smell of the grill filling the air and making her tummy rumble despite having finished the hot chocolate. “It’s nearly lunchtime. I’m hungry,” he said. “Would you mind getting a bite to eat here rather than waiting until we get back home?”

“That’s fine with me,” she said, trying not to jump up and down, squealing in delight. She was about to share a meal with Adam at a restaurant with no work and no one bothering them at all. She couldn’t ask for more. In fact, it was so perfect that she had to wonder if her Christmas wish had come true somehow. She didn’t want to think about what might be between him and Andy, or the irritation she felt when he didn’t spend time with his kids. She wanted to ignore it all and let the happiness bubble up to the top because he was in the moment, and when he was, it was wonderful.

“Great. Let’s get a table. Is this all right?” He gestured toward the restaurant, its interior lighting so dim it made it look like dinner time rather than lunch. Past the green wreath on the window with its cascading red, velvet ribbon, she could see the roar of a fireplace inside and the shiny brass of a bar.

“Yes.” Of course it was all right. It was more than all right; it was fantastic.

Adam opened the door for Carrie and followed her inside.

C
reate
a list of what makes you happy.
Carrie didn’t need that line to find her inner happiness. She was perfectly happy right now, and she hadn’t needed any coaching or words of wisdom. She walked along beside Adam as they passed a Christmas tree with white lights and gold ornaments and followed the hostess to their table. Adam pulled out a chair for her before moving around to the other side and taking a seat. A very low light filled the room, allowing the table candles to show off their flames. A fire popped and sizzled at one end of the restaurant, and, even though Carrie couldn’t feel the heat from it, the entire restaurant was warm and cozy. Adam sat on the other side of a very small table, so small that when the server brought their menus there wasn’t enough room for both of them to lay end to end, so she had to pick hers up to read it.

“Thank you for making me do this today,” Adam said from behind his menu. He peeked over it, and she could tell by his eyes that he was smiling.

“You’re welcome. But I didn’t make you do anything. I just asked, so thank you for coming.”

The server appeared at their table to take their drink order. “What do you have on tap?” Adam asked. She rattled off a short list, and at the end of it, she mentioned Salty Shockoe Lager. “Hmm,” he said. It appeared that he was considering his choices, but Carrie was suspicious. She could tell he was up to something. “Have you ever had Salty Shockoe?” The server nodded. “And what’s it like? Is it any good?”

Carrie thought back to her first experience with the beer and their discussion regarding the label, and she was so relieved that he hadn’t put her in the position that he was putting this girl in right now. She was almost nervous to hear the answer for fear that the girl would say something negative about it and ruin their meal. Carrie didn’t want anything to mess this up.

“It’s delicious, actually. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Are you just saying that to make a sale?” he asked, grinning.

“No, sir. It really is one of my favorites.”

“Good to hear. I trust you. What will you have, Carrie?” he asked. “Have you decided?”

Carrie had been so enthralled in the conversation about Adam’s beer that she hadn’t really thought of what she wanted for herself.

“Um, I’ll have a Salty Shockoe.”

Adam looked at Carrie and winked. “Two bottles of Salty Shockoe, please.”

After the server left, Adam set his menu down and said, “You didn’t have to get my beer just because it’s mine. If you’d wanted a glass of wine or something, you could’ve gotten it.”

It was true that she hadn’t given the order much thought, but it had been the right drink for the moment. The memories of having beers with her father were warm memories—warm like she felt tonight. It felt as right being with Adam as it felt with her own family, which was a brand new feeling. She’d never felt it before. When Adam looked at her, she felt pretty, and when he listened to her, she felt confident. While her friends all had glasses of wine or mixed drinks, that wasn’t who she was. She was the girl who had a beer with her dad. And now with Adam. And it felt great.

“I really love…” she heard herself saying the words and her heart raced in her chest. What she wanted to say was that she really loved being with him no matter what she had to drink, but instead, she said with a smile, “I love your beer.”

The huff. The smile. She laughed out loud, unable to contain her happiness. There was something between them—a kind of chemistry that can’t be forced, it was just there. It was as if she felt who he was before she even knew him. She was in tune with his mannerisms, his quirks, what made him laugh, what set him off. She’d fallen for Adam Fletcher. Hard. What would she do when her time with him was up, when she couldn’t see him anymore?

And then there was the fact that he hadn’t given her any reason to think he wanted to take things any further than their employer-employee relationship. For all she knew he could be romantically involved with Andy. Just thinking about Andy made her chest ache. Carrie was setting herself up to be hurt—she knew that—but the problem was that it was out of her hands. She was at the top of the roller coaster, teetering, looking down the hill, knowing she couldn’t get off. And she didn’t want to. Her feelings were speeding faster with every moment, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. She hadn’t meant to fall for him, but she had. She hadn’t followed any of the dating strategies in her ridiculous books—she hadn’t tried anything at all. Feeling something for Adam was as easy as breathing. It was beyond her control.

“I’m excited to see Olivia and David in their play tonight,” he said, to Carrie’s surprise.

“I am too. I have Olivia’s angel outfit laid out and ready to go already. And David’s Joseph costume is all set too. I just need to see if I can tighten his belt a little. It keeps slipping when he moves too much.”

“They’ve been practicing with their mother. I know she’s been taking them to church for Sunday school, and they’ve worked on this for quite a while.”

Adam was actually excited to see his kids in their play, which was a revelation to Carrie. With his work schedule, she’d originally assumed that he didn’t care, but it turned out he
did
. She had such a different picture of who he was now than she had when she’d arrived. Adam was a loving, sweet, charming man. He just had trouble letting people see it. Had Andy seen that side of him? Carrie felt a ripple of jealousy as she thought about how Andy got to see him all day long and then even some evenings. Was he this charming with her, too? Of course he probably was. And they even had work as their common ground.

“I’m sure the kids will be glad to see you in the audience,” she said.

“I’m glad we could have a whole row of family there for them since Gwen couldn’t come.” The waitress had set the beers down while they were chatting, and Carrie noticed that they were the bottles with the white labels. She felt sentimental about it because that had been the first time she’d had a moment with Adam. They’d come quite a ways since she’d first arrived. He smiled. “I’m glad they’ll have
you
there.” He took a sip of his beer and set it down slowly, his eyes on the beer mat below it. Without looking up, he said, “I’ll be glad to have you there too.”

Carrie could feel the hope rising up from the bottom of her stomach where she’d pushed it down. What did he mean by that? Did he mean that he was glad the kids would have someone they trusted to watch them in the play? Before she could ask herself any more questions, he added, “I’m hoping that having you there may help Sharon. I’m sure watching the children is tough, given her situation. You have a calming way about you. Maybe between you and my mom, the two of you can help keep her spirits up.” Once again, her hopes were dashed. Adam was glad to have her there because she could help with his sister’s emotional state. That was it. Nothing more. She was hoping he’d say that he wanted to have her there because he enjoyed being around her, or that he couldn’t imagine spending the evening without her, but that was just silly thinking, wasn’t it? She should know better by now. Every time she let her guard down, she was reminded that Adam wasn’t interested in her. She was just the nanny.

“
M
y halo is itchy
,” Olivia said, tugging on the circle of tinsel that was pinned to her hair. She scratched underneath it, causing her hair to lump up in the middle. Carrie gently pushed it back down and secured the pins.

“You are a beautiful angel!” she said, fluffing out the white cotton dress that Olivia was wearing. She also had white tights and white patent leather shoes. With the gold tinsel halo in her hair and the pink on her cheeks that Carrie had brushed on a few minutes earlier, she really did look like a little angel. “Here, David, let me see if I can get that belt tighter.” David walked over wearing a brown burlap material that fit him like a sack, with a black belt cinching it all together. He tugged at his belt, his little, somber face showing his worry that it wouldn’t stay tight. Carrie pulled it to fit and secured it with a safety pin. While she worked on David’s costume, Olivia pranced around the bedroom, jumping and spinning like a ballerina.

When they were finished getting ready, Carrie grabbed the directions to the church and headed downstairs with the children. Joyce and the others were following in Adam’s two cars to the church. She and the kids met Eric at the bottom of the stairs. “You two look great,” he said as the kids showed him their costumes. “I can’t wait to see you in the play tonight.”

“You’re gonna like it!” Olivia said in a sing-songy voice. “Is Aunt Sharon coming, too?”

“She sure is. She’s just finishing up getting ready.”

The kids ran off when they heard Joyce and Bruce in the living room, leaving Carrie and Eric alone at the bottom of the stairs. “Is she doing okay today?” Carrie asked, boldly.

Eric didn’t seem to mind her question. “This sort of thing is always tough for her because she wants kids so badly.” He was quiet for a moment before he added, “And her depression worsens things. It only came on when she lost the baby. It’s been hard for both of us.”

Carrie struggled for a positive spin on this one. She remembered enough from one of her books to know that Sharon exhibited nearly all the characteristics of depression, but in this case, there was nothing to make it better, nothing to say. It just was. Once again, her book had no answers. Sharon wanted a child, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t have one. For some reason, it wasn’t meant for her. And everything she experienced from here on out was shadowed by that fact. How would she ever enjoy herself tonight while she watched her niece and nephew? Surely she would only think about the fact that she may never see her own children in a Christmas play.

Carrie had helped Adam pick out a present for her, and they’d settled on a blanket. It was white like the snow outside and so soft that she wanted to curl up with it right there in the store. It was big enough that Sharon could use it but soft enough that it would be perfect for wrapping a baby. Carrie hoped it would keep her warm on those cold nights, the nights she needed a little extra comfort.

“I’ll just go check on her,” he said.

Eric was generally quiet, not one to lead a conversation, but there was something about him that was so strong. Maybe it was the way he took care of his wife, the way he kept it all together when she couldn’t, or the gentle manner in which he dealt with the situation. He was always there supporting her, helping her, making her feel better. It had to be hard work, yet it never showed on his face. Whenever she saw him, he was pleasant, smiling, helpful. Carrie hoped that Sharon realized how much of a family she had right now. Eric was lovely to her.

She looked up at the top of the staircase, and Adam was standing there looking down, smiling. “Hey,” he said, and she felt like she was going to fall over. He hadn’t ever said “hey” to her like that before. It was the same “hey” he’d used on the phone with Andy. It was an informal, friendly, relaxed “hey.” He was so handsome standing there that she was having trouble getting anything to come out of her mouth.

“Hey,” she said back, the word rolling off her tongue like she said it to him all the time.

He started down the stairs, not breaking eye contact. “You look nice,” he said when he got to the bottom.

It was the first time she’d had a chance to get a little dressed up, and she had on her favorite sweater and skirt. She was wearing jewelry, which felt a little weird since she didn’t wear it much, and she’d spent time on her makeup tonight. It had taken a little extra time, but she’d curled her hair and styled it as well. She wanted to look nice for the play, but there was also a part of her that wanted to look nice for Adam. It was silly, really, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to look pretty for him, so his compliment made her cheeks feel warm.

Joyce came around the corner, holding Olivia’s hand, Bruce following along with David. Behind them all was Walter, hobbling in on a cane. Walter moved around the group until he was facing Carrie and Adam. “You two look fantastic tonight,” he said, winking at Carrie. She felt the flush to her cheeks again and prayed that the splotches wouldn’t come. Sharon and Eric emerged at the top of the stairs. “Are we all ready to go?” Walter asked. The group murmured in agreement as Bruce opened the front door, letting in a blast of icy air. They all went outside, leaving Carrie and Adam in the foyer with the kids.

Adam cleared his throat. “I’ll see you there,” he said, the sound of the car engine purring in the background outside.

She wished it could be her riding with him, but his car was already full. “See you there,” she returned. He grabbed the knob of the door, holding it open for her. As she and the children walked onto the stoop, they shared one more smile, and he closed the door.