A Circle of Time (20 page)

Joshua's voice seemed far away and garbled, as if he were speaking from the bottom of a bottle.

“Joshua, I can barely hear you!”

“I'm here, Allison, I'm here.”

Allison could tell Joshua was holding her close, but she could no longer feel his arms. It was as though her body had been injected with Novocain. She felt only a fuzzy, cottonlike sensation in her brain and a whirling in her head as if she were going to pass out.

The next moment, she was floating above Joshua as he held Becky's limp body in his arms.

 

The wind tunnel sucks me from the past and hurls me into the future. I stop struggling, knowing now how useless it is to fight the strong force that propels me.

This must really be a nightmare! Hadn't I just been thinking about how horrible it would be to have to again convince Joshua of the truth? Hadn't I just been thinking about how close we were to succeeding? How many more times will I have to endure this?

“Allison?” Mom whispers. “I have to tell you something, sweetheart. Please try to listen.”

I peer through a hazy fog and see Mom sitting beside my hospital bed. Pm floating above the scene, and as I concentrate, the images become more clear, as though the fog is evaporating.

“Sweetheart,” Mom says, “in just a few hours, you're going into surgery. The doctor has to drain the hematoma. You're going to be just fine if you fight. Do you hear me, Allison? You need to fight to pull through. I know you can do it, darling, you're the strongest person I know. Fight, Allison, please fight!”

“Allison,” Becky whispers, “did you hear what your ma said?”

Yes, surgery.

“Your ma's been frettin'. It seems dangerous.”

Becky, what am I doing back here so soon? I had two more days ... I was so close...

“I—I'm starting to weaken, Allison. I had to call you back.”

But I didn't finish, and now that I'm back here, I don't know if I ever will finish. It may all have been for nothing.

“You might die in surgery.” Becky's voice trembles.

And if I come out of the coma too soon, I can't help you any longer. We don't have time to waste. I have to
go back. You might never find someone else to take my place.

“I can risk that, but I can't risk your life. You have to stay, Allison. I don't know if I can fight for you.”

You have to fight for me. I'm fighting for you!

“But I don't know if I'm strong enough...”

Becky, you have more strength than you realize. You stuck around for decades waiting for someone to help you and Joshua. You fought death.

“And I lost,” she says with a whimper.

But you didn't give up. Death won the battle but not the war. Death hasn't won yet. Together we can win. We have to try.

“Twice, Allison,” Becky says in a small, frightened voice, “we have to fight and beat death twice—once for me, and once for you. I don't know if I can do it.”

You're wrong, Becky—three times. We're fighting for Joshua, too. His life is in our hands. If we give up, he's dead forever. And I can't stay here and fight for my life knowing it was costing two other lives. Even if I won, I wouldn't have much of a life with two deaths on my conscience.

Becky gives out a muffled cry but says nothing.

I don't have a choice, Becky. And neither have you.

I look down at Mom. I can't help but remember how much I always took her for granted, how I didn't appreciate the little things she did for me. Instead, I found them annoying, like she was always hovering. The last morning we spent together, the morning of the accident, I was so distracted, so into myself, I didn't pay any attention to her. I didn't even hug her good-bye.

I promise, Mom, I promise if I ever get out of this and back to you, I'll never take you for granted again. Not ever.

My heart bursts with an immense longing to be held by her. I need to feel her touch, to smell the rosy scent of her perfume. I know that just being held by my mother once more will give me the strength I need to return to the past and face whatever is waiting for me. And the courage to risk never returning to my own life.

Let me in, Becky. Let me be with Mom for a few minutes. Then let me go. And don't call me back until I've finished.

The past dissolves into the now.
I take a chance. Will fate allow
the two of us to meet again?
But oh, if so—no matter when—
your love, I shall extol!

A deafening roar thundered in Allison's ears; the scent of pine and smoke and moist earth overwhelmed her senses. She felt the heaviness of sleep begin to lift as she stretched her quivering limbs.

“Sleeping Beauty awakes on her own.”

Slowly, Allison opened her eyes. A smile that made her heart lurch and gray eyes that twinkled in the sunlight were the first things she saw. Joshua was squatting at her side, his attention focused fully on her. His eyes spoke of a joke he was dying to tell.

“Don't you know you're supposed to let the handsome prince kiss you awake?”

“Shall I go back to sleep, and we can try again?”

“Oh, no you don't,” Joshua said. “Now that I've got you back, I'm not letting you get away so quick.”

“Back?” Allison suddenly realized he might mean getting Becky back after an absence of almost three weeks.

“You've been asleep most the afternoon. The problem with Sleeping Beauty is that she's pretty to look at but not much fun.”

“Oh,” Allison said, laughing. “I'll try to stay awake.”

She let Joshua help her sit up, noticing for the first time that they were at the waterfall pool. Reluctantly, she looked down at her dress, dreading the sight of the faded calico. She sighed with relief when she saw instead the emerald-green gown. Things hadn't changed back to how they were before April first. Joshua still remembered her.

“Becky?” he said. “Are you all right?”

A cold hand clamped around Allison's heart. She felt the blood drain from her face. He didn't remember.

Joshua wrapped his arms around her. “Becky, what's wrong? You look like you're going to faint.”

Déjà vu.
Weren't those the last words she'd heard him utter only a few hours earlier? Had he forgotten everything? Would she have to start convincing him all over?

“Talk to me. Are you feeling all right?”

“What”—Allison paused to swallow—“what did you call me?”

Joshua loosened his grip on her shoulders. He stared into her eyes, searching deeply, as though he were seeking her soul.

“Allison?” he whispered.

She let out the breath she had been holding, and like a dam collapsing, her emotions spewed forth. She grabbed him in a fierce hug, sobbing loudly in his ear.

“Whoa, whoa, girl. What's going on?”

“Joshua! Oh, Joshua, you remember me!”

“Shhhh, hush now. Of course, I remember you. I just didn't know ... when you went to sleep you were Becky.”

Allison stopped sobbing and stepped back, so she could study his face. “Becky was here? She came back?”

“When you fainted this morning—”

“This morning? Was that the last time you spoke to me?”

He nodded. “First, we're having lunch at the estate, and the next thing I know, you're turning pale and falling limp into my arms.”

“So I've only lost a few hours.” Allison was barely able to contain her excitement. “What's today, Joshua? Is it still April sixteenth?”

Joshua nodded.

“In 1906?”

“Of course, it's 1906. And yes, you've only been gone for most of the afternoon.”

“Oh, that's wonderful, Joshua, just wonderful! I was so afraid—oh, never mind, it didn't happen.” Then something occurred to her. She bit her lower lip. “What did happen when I was gone ... when Becky was here?”

Joshua sat back. “I panicked at first. I never had a girl faint in my arms for no reason. And it just doesn't seem like the kind of thing you would do, so I thought you were real sick or something. I laid you back on the bench and put a wet napkin on your head. I was about to run for help, when you started coming around.” Joshua gave Allison a quick sideways glance. “But it wasn't you.

“I didn't know that right off, though. I held the wet napkin on her forehead till she felt strong enough, then I helped her sit up. When she looked down at the green dress and shoes she was wearing, she started screaming. I quieted her down right fast, and as soon as I realized she was Becky and not you, I brought her out here. Miz Teresa is probably worried to tears wondering where you are, but I couldn't risk letting her near Becky. Not in the state Becky was in.”

“Probably a good idea.” Allison wondered how she was going to explain her disappearance to Tere. “Then what? Did you tell her about me?”

A guilty look crossed Joshua's face. He looked down at his hands. “Tell her what about you?”

“Well, that I was here.”

Joshua shook his head. “She was in a real bad way. She was shaking and scared and crying, wondering how she got to the estate and into new clothes and a pair of shoes. She hasn't worn shoes since her pa died. Sadie wouldn't spend the money.”

“But you told her something. You explained about the dress, didn't you?”

“I asked her what was the last thing she remembered. She said being in the meadow, heading toward the woods to meet me at the waterfall. I asked her the date, and she said it was April first. I told her she must have had one of her blackouts. A long one this time because today was April sixteenth. I figured I better prepare her, since I didn't know if you were ever...” His voice trailed off.

“Ever coming back?” Allison couldn't help wondering if he had hoped she would never come back.

Joshua nodded, glancing up at her. As if he had read her mind, he said, “I wanted you to, but it made me feel so disloyal to Becky.”

Allison exhaled slowly and gave him a sad smile. “I understand. So how did she take it when you told her she'd blacked out for over two weeks?”

“She got kind of still and quiet. It spooked me more than when she was crying and carrying on. Then she said her head hurt and she needed to rest her eyes. That's when she fell asleep. I never did get to tell her about how she's living at the estate now and doesn't have to see Sadie anymore.”

“Maybe it's best that way,” Allison said. “She'll find out soon enough, if everything turns out okay. If not, I guess it doesn't matter.”

 

They decided to spend the rest of the afternoon together. Allison already had to make up some explanation for Tere regarding her absence, and it might be the last time she and Joshua had to be alone together.

Allison took off her shoes and stockings and dangled her feet in the pool as she sat on a wide, flat boulder. Joshua handed her a fishing pole and plunked down beside her with his.

As they fished, they talked about their plans for the next day. Allison would make some excuse, and they would leave the mansion after lunch and head for the Thompson cabin. Since the only thing she knew for sure was that Don Carlos would be there sometime on the afternoon of April seventeenth, they wanted to arrive early. With any luck, Sadie or Don Carlos would mention the subject of the blackmail.

They still had no information on Jose's whereabouts, but maybe tomorrow would bring news.

Then they talked about themselves. Allison told Joshua about her mom and her friend Jenny and how she missed her dad. Joshua shared what he remembered about his parents, and he told her more about Magda and how good she had been to him.

“Why does Magda limp?” Allison asked.

“It happened when her father was killed in the fire on the estate. She ran into the barn to try to help him, and a burning beam fell on her, crushing her leg and burning it real bad. Dr. Guzman hadn't moved here yet, so José and her mother did the doctorin'. I always thought if we'd had a good doctor nearby, she might not be so crippled.”

“Is that why you want to be a doctor?”

“One reason. The other is ... I don't know, exactly. It's like a strong pull, a calling maybe. Something I can't control but I want real bad.”

“Then you've got to do it, Joshua. You've got to follow your heart.”

“It seems so impossible right now. I don't have the money—”

“Remember what I told you, Joshua; there may be scholarships.” Allison thought of something and giggled. “And later on, when you're older, I can help you get rich. You could start a clinic or something.”

Joshua snorted. “Rich? Me? How can I do that?”

Allison bit her lip. Should she tell him? Why not? He might as well profit from her knowledge. “The stock market. It's going to crash in 1929. So don't buy any stock before then. But as soon as you can after that, start buying up all the IBM stock you can afford. Daddy was a stockbroker. He left us pretty well-off, though not rich. Mom remembers him shaking his head and saying, ‘If only I had been around when IBM was starting off and could have bought
some
early stock.' Mom still handles our portfolio herself, and she's teaching me.”

Allison went on to tell him the names of a few other companies that might help make him rich. It made her kind of nervous and giddy at the same time to be tampering with the future. But she was already changing history, wasn't she?

Despite their talking, they were able to catch a few rosy-blue trout.

“I'll miss eating your special fire-roasted fish,” Allison said. “I'll probably never be able to eat fish again without thinking of this place”—she glanced around at the waterfall, the pines, and the dark pool; then her eyes rested on Joshua—“and you.”