A Class Apart (13 page)

He had seen the look on her face when he had come out of his office unexpectedly today, and had found her talking to his secretary. He had noticed that she had become more friendly with Amanda this last week, and he knew why. He knew the pain she was suffering. Wasn’t he feeling it himself? But there was nothing to be done. He had ended it, and that was how it was going to have to stay. He had every intention of marrying Blanche, indeed he wanted to marry Blanche. But he wanted Ashley too.

Seeing her around the place was making it more difficult to bear. He didn’t want to ask her to leave. He couldn’t do that to her. He hated himself enough as it was. It had taken every ounce of willpower he had, to walk away from her that night. He would never forget the look of confusion and betrayal in her eyes when she realised that he wasn’t going to tell her that he loved her too. And the Christmas tree, the bloody Christmas tree. She had done it for him. And the presents, all for him. He was such a bastard! He should never have let things go on so long. In his stupidity he had believed that it would all work out fine in the end. But it hadn’t. She was miserable, and he was miserable, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He got up and walked round his desk. Then he walked back again. He walked to the window and looked out. The traffic was in its usual snarl; just how he felt inside. He walked to the door of his office, then back to his desk. He sat down, stood up. Walked to the cabinet and poured himself a drink. He was behaving like an idiot, but his guilt was so great he was finding it difficult to bear.

He missed Ashley. He loved her. Yes, damn it! He loved her! But he also loved Blanche. It was a different kind of love, but he did love Blanche. Besides, everyone expected him to marry Blanche now. He couldn’t just back out, and desert her too. But she could handle it much better than Ashley could. Ashley might be tough at work, but when it came to love, and her son, she was vulnerable. And he had hit her where it hurt most.

He thought about Alex. How could he have done it to the child? He couldn’t bear to think of Alex hating him. He wanted to make it up to him in some way. But how could he? He had hurt Alex’s mother, and Julian knew that Alex could never forgive that. But surely there was something he could do to make it up to the boy. And to Ashley. If he married her, they would all be happy. But what about Blanche?

Dear God, was there nothing he could do to ease this conflict?

He poured himself another drink.

And then he had an idea. He would buy them both, Ashley and Alex, something very special for Christmas. Something that they both really wanted. He thought about it, and the more he thought about it, the better the idea seemed. All he had to do was think of something. And then that came to him too.

He picked up the phone and dialled. It wasn’t as easy to fix as he had assumed, but several phone calls and two gin and tonics later, it was done.

He heaved a sigh of relief as he put the phone down for the last time. OK, his conscience was an expensive one, but what else could he do? It was something that would make both Ashley and Alex happy, and, although he didn’t want to admit it, would ease his guilt too.

He put on his coat, and turned off the light and left the office.

The days leading up to Christmas were busy ones for all of them. They had hardly been in touch with one another the last week, so by the time they met up in the cocktail bar at the Ritz, the night before Christmas Eve, there was a great deal to catch up on.

Kate was in a great dilemma. Ellamarie had come straight from rehearsals bringing Nicholas Gough, who was playing Sebastian in
Twelfth Night.
Nicholas was someone whom Kate had had her eye on for some time, but until now he had remained elusive. She had just been on the. point of saying how pleased she was to see him when Jenneen had arrived with Joel Martin. Kate’s mouth fell open, and for several seconds she had been unable to speak.

“Careful, your libido’s about to dribble over your chin,” Ashley whispered.

“Are you surprised?” said Kate. “I mean, look at him.” She leaned over to whisper in Ashley’s ear. “I’m going to get laid tonight if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Ah, here’s Bob,” Ellamarie interrupted, and threw her arms round him as he came in.

“Merry Christmas, everyone,” Bob cried, and lifted the glass Ellamarie pushed into his hand.

The others raised theirs too.

“Can’t we sit down?” Ellamarie grumbled. “My feet are killing me.”

“I don’t know why,” Bob said, under his breath, “you’ve spent the best part of the afternoon on your back.”

She choked on her drink and looked around to see if anyone had heard.

From the expression on his face, Joel Martin had.

“Do you have to?” she said to Bob, trying not to laugh.

“No, but you were begging me.” Bob took another drink.

“I was not. Besides, I didn’t mean that. We’re in the Ritz now, try and behave, will you?”

“Over here!” Ashley called, patting a seat next to her.

Treading on Bob’s foot, Ellamarie pushed her way through the crowd and went to join the others who had made their way to the corner of the cocktail bar.

“Joel Martin,” Joel said, extending his hand to Bob.

“Bob McElfrey. You came with Jenneen, didn’t you?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Joel answered. “She tells me you do this every year at Christmas.”

“What, the Ritz?” said Bob, looking around. “It’s a tradition of theirs.”

“Tell me, who’s that sitting next to Jenneen? I don’t think we were introduced.”

Bob looked over. “Ashley Mayne,” and seeing the look in Joel’s eye, he added: “Forget it. Getting over a broken heart at the moment.”

Joel nodded, very slowly, and kept his eyes on Ashley. Ashley turned away. She wouldn’t have admitted it to Kate, but handsome as he was, she had disliked him on sight.

Bob and Joel strolled over to the table and the others moved round to make room. They were all laughing at something Jenneen had said, and Joel noticed that Ashley was blushing.

“Ah, Bob,” said Jenneen, pulling him down between her and Ellamarie, “perhaps you can answer the question.”

“What question?” said Bob.

“Jenneen, please,” said Ashley.

“No, I want to know,” said Jenneen. “Bob, tell us, because you know everything. Why is a blow job called a blow job?”

Bob’s mouth dropped open and Ellamarie burst out laughing.

“Well?”

Bob looked to Joel and then to Nick, in the hope they might help him out. They both shook their heads, and Jenneen was still waiting.

“Well, do some women actually blow on it?” she prompted. “And if they do, do they get a tune out of it?” Ashley, Kate and Ellamarie looked at one another and collapsed into laughter.

“That would surely depend on how musical one’s ear is,” said Joel.

“I beg your pardon?” Ellamarie choked.

“I mean, if one considers cries of ecstasy to be music, then yes, one can indeed get a tune out of it.”

Several heads turned as they shrieked with laughter.

“Well, what I want to know now,” said Jenneen, “is do you actually enjoy it?”

“Are you kidding?” Bob cried.

“I don’t mean you,” said Jenneen. “I mean Ellamarie. Or Kate. Or you, Ashley. Do women actually enjoy it? Do you swallow it?”

“Jenneen!” Ashley groaned.

“Yes?” said Jenneen.

“People can hear you.”

“So what? I’m intrigued to know, and I’ll bet they are too,” she said, staring at a woman on the next table. She turned back to Ashley. “Do you swallow it?”

“Me?” said Ashley.

“Well, I wasn’t talking to Bob.”

“I’m not answering that,” said Ashley.

Kate piped up. “Darling, one can swallow anything, provided it is sufficiently seasoned . . .”

Jenneen looked at her.

“Molière,” Joel said, by way of explanation. “And I should like you to know I take my condiments everywhere with me. All three of them.”

“I think this conversation is getting out of hand,” said Ashley. “Shall we change the subject?”

“Orgasms?” Jenneen suggested.

“I’m going to the ladies’ room,” said Ashley, getting to her feet.

“Some folk like to be more private about their comings and goings than others,” Ellamarie explained to Joel.

Ashley tugged her hair and Joel’s eyes followed her as she weaved her way across the room and disappeared.

Suddenly remembering the purpose of inviting Joel Martin, Jenneen introduced him to Kate. His expression, as he looked her up and down, was one of lazy calculation. Kate felt her blood begin to race. Jenneen and Ellamarie exchanged knowing glances, and Nick got up and wandered over to talk to someone he knew.

“Holy shit!” Ellamarie suddenly cried.

Bob looked up. “Oh no,” he groaned, “that’s all we need.”

“Who is it?” Joel asked, following their gaze and seeing two extremely distinguished looking men standing at the door.

“Ashley’s ex,” Bob sighed.

“The dark one or the fair one?”

“The fair one.”

“Who’s that divine creature with him?” Kate whispered to Jenneen.

“I don’t know, but he can have me any time.”

Ellamarie nudged Jenneen. “That must be Blanche,” she said, as a petite, smiling face emerged from behind Julian. “I think someone had better go and warn Ashley,” and she got up to go. Kate and Jenneen followed her.

Blanche was looking around, her face alight with pleasure, heavily engrossed in “celeb-spotting”, as she called it. Julian was amused by her excitement. As a waiter showed them to a table, he told her she had been away from London for too long.

A few minutes later Julian caught Bob’s eye across the room, and they nodded and smiled to one another. Blanche noticed, and strained to see who it was that Julian had just acknowledged.

“Oh Julian!” she gasped, turning to him and clutching his arm. “Isn’t that Bob McElfrey, the director? I didn’t know you knew him.”

“Yes,” said Julian.

“Oh do let’s go and say hello to him, darling. I’ve always wanted to meet him.”

Having seen Bob sitting with someone he didn’t recognise, Julian assumed that it was safe to go over. He had always liked Bob, and he would enjoy introducing him to Blanche, and Conrad.

Bob saw them coming and guessed immediately that Julian had misread the situation. He looked around wildly. How could he warn him? No solution seemed to offer itself, so Bob just sat back and hoped that Julian and his party would simply say their hellos and depart the table before Ashley decided to return from the ladies’ room.

He was out of luck. As he stood up to shake hands with Blanche he caught sight of Ellamarie pushing her way through the crowd towards him. Ashley was right behind her. He turned to shake Conrad by the hand.

“Jesus Christ,” Ellamarie muttered, “I didn’t think he’d be so stupid.”

“What? What’s happening?” said Jenneen.

“Look!” Ellamarie hissed, inclining her head towards their table.

“Fucking hell!” said Jenneen, then clapped her hand over her mouth as a passing waiter turned to look at her.

“My sentiments exactly,” said Ellamarie.

Kate took hold of Ashley’s hand. It was like ice. “What do you want to do?”

Ashley shook her head, and they all looked at one another, neither of them able to think of an answer. Ashley’s face was white, her eyes transfixed by the figure of Blanche Wetherburn, laughing and smiling up into Julian’s face, totally oblivious to what was happening elsewhere in the room.

“We’ll go over,” said Ashley. “There’s nothing else we can do.”

“We could always go back to the ladies’, until they’ve gone,” Kate suggested.

“No,” said Ashley. “I’ll have to meet her sometime. It’ll be easier with all of you here.”

“Are you sure?” said Kate, still looking very doubtful.

Ashley forced a smile. “Sure,” she said. “Come on, we’re causing a jam standing here,” and she pushed her way ahead of the others.

Bob, seeing Ashley coming towards them, turned to Julian. Julian was laughing at something Joel was saying, and there was no way Bob could warn him. Then the carol service in the Long Gallery began.

“Blanche,” Bob cried, grabbing hold of her arm, “why don’t we go and watch the carol singers?” And before a startled Blanche had a chance to answer, he had swept her out of harm’s way. Well, it was the best he could think of on the spur of the moment. Ellamarie would be proud of him.

Julian watched them go, and turning back to the table he remarked to Conrad: “She’ll be talking about this for . . .”

Conrad looked up to see Julian staring at something in what seemed to be total horror. He turned round to see who, or what, had caused such a sudden transformation in his partner.

“Hello, Julian,” Ashley said, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Hello,” Julian’s voice was no louder.

“Julian,” said Ellamarie, through clenched teeth.

“Hello, Ellamarie. Kate, Jenneen.”

Kate and Jenneen gave him curt nods, and sat down.

“I had no idea that you would be here tonight,” Julian said, turning back to Ashley, and trying to put the sound of polite enquiry into his voice.

“No,” said Ashley, “I don’t suppose you did.”

Julian flushed. Conrad, having read the situation almost immediately, looked on with amused interest.

“How are you, Julian?” said Ellamarie, breaking the embarrassed silence.

“Very well, thank you.”

“I trust you are enjoying this,” she said, belatedly sweeping her arm to indicate the carol singers.

Julian didn’t answer. He looked at Ashley again, but she was watching the concert, and sipping champagne.

Jenneen turned to Kate. “Have we found out yet who that is with him?” she whispered, flicking her eyes towards Conrad.