A Country Marriage (45 page)

‘No? Why not? I offer it sincerely,’ he replied, and watched his brother take a few heavy paces towards the gate and then turn back to face them, his finger raised in accusation.

‘Oh, you know well enough why. I
hold
my
peace
about your involvement in all this protest business, knowing full well how Pa wouldn’t approve and then I find out that
all
this
time
, you’ve been stealing about behind my back, wheedling your way into his will!’

‘
What
? I’ve done no such thing and if you stopped to think for a moment, you’d see as much.’ Inside, he felt hollow, sick even, and realised despondently that his joy from yesterday evening had been entirely spoiled by the wider implications of his newly found good fortune. He had expected
Annie
to be difficult, and even that Will would be disappointed – but he hadn’t been expecting such anger; that wasn’t how Will was.

‘Treachery; that’s what it is. An’ from my own
brother
, too. ’Tis deviousness more befitting
Tom
. I might have expected such behaviour from
him
but from
you
, George, well, it’s beyond the pale. Not only
that
, but with all your dabbling in this… this
unrest
… I’m not even sure you’re the safe pair of hands Pa thinks you are.’

With that, George glimpsed fear flicker across Mary’s face and watched as she turned to towards the gate. He didn’t
think
Will would tell their father about his involvement with the
Radicals
but then he hadn’t been expecting such anger, either. Perhaps the prudent thing, he decided, was to appear apologetic and humble; Will might respect that.

‘Look, Will. I know how shocked you must be because I know how shocked
I
was when Pa came and told me what he’d done.’

‘Hmph.’

‘
Ask
him if you don’t believe me. I couldn’t find a single word for the measure of my surprise.’

‘But no doubt you found the words to thank him easily enough.’

‘Barely. But that’s not the point. The point
is
that I
didn’t
court him. I never gave his will a thought. He did what he did with no prompting on my part. You
know
what sort of man he is. From whom do you think Tom got his stubbornness? Or any of us, come to that?’ but even as the words left his lips, he cursed the foolhardiness of his comment.

‘Don’t you
dare
compare
me
to
Tom
.’

‘Sorry. Forgive me. But look, Will, I tell you truthfully, when Pa told me what he’d done, my first question was about you. I swear it on Jacob’s life.’ At his oath, he saw his brother wince. ‘And he gave me the same speech he just gave us in the kitchen about there needing to be a… succession, or whatever it is.’

‘But there still
could
be,’ Will replied, his normal, quiet tone returning, although now, to George’s relief, it also resonated with defeat. ‘Just because I don’t have a son yet, doesn’t mean I
won’t
have, one day. And even if that
isn’t
God’s will for us, I could still pass the farm to James. I mean, it’s like Annie said, by rights it should all be going to him anyway.’

‘Aye, maybe,’ George replied, deeply aware of the need not to be drawn on that point.

‘Well I want you to know that this doesn’t rest easy with me. If you say you knew nothing beforehand and did nothing to bring it about, then I withdraw what I said earlier. Forgive me. But it still don’t change how I feel.’

‘No, I realise that,’ George conceded. ‘An’ I reckon I’d feel the same.’

‘Then just be grateful you don’t,’ Will said and then turning towards the back door, added, ‘and now, if you don’t mind, I’ll bid you good day and go an’ see if I can do anything to console my wife.’

*

‘Well, that was unpleasant, wasn’t it?’ George became aware of Mary commenting when they were back at home.

‘Aye. And I feel foolish for being caught out. I should have known it would cause ructions.’

‘
Why
should you? It wasn’t
your
doing.’

‘Maybe not but I suppose all I can do now is lay low and wait for it to blow over.’

‘Might be best,’ she agreed, stirring the porridge as it sputtered over the fire, ‘but have you thought any more about what it means for
us
, though?’

He stroked his chin and reflected for a moment before answering.

‘Well, I fancy Pa’s in no rush to hand over charge.’

‘No.’

‘And the farm ain’t short of labour for the moment, so it seems they don’t
need
me.’

‘Well, I think that’s a good thing.’

‘You do?’ His surprise stemmed from the way he had always assumed she would prefer to live in the farmhouse, a possibility he had been dreading her suggesting.

‘I prefer it here. It may not be perfect but at least we’re not tangled up in it all.’

‘No, we’re not,’ he agreed, taken aback by her perceptiveness but, courtesy of his conscience, wary too.

‘I mean, I know you have to go down there a lot and you must be real tired after a long day’s work but now at least there’s sort of a purpose to it; a sort of reward at the end.’

‘Aye,’ he said, risking a sidelong glance at her face but finding it apparently serene. Surely it wasn’t possible that she suspected something? Surely, it was beyond even
his
guilty imagination to conclude that she could have found out about Annie or her boys. ‘You’re right,’ he said, realising that perhaps just lately his behaviour must have been suspicious. He would have to try harder to hide his irritation with her, since surely that alone was sufficient to generate doubt. Yes, he would try to be nicer to her; after all, if he was going to be gone for the evening, he could at least be civil about it. And if she thought that he would be coming back late and worn out, then she might already be asleep when he returned, relieving him of something else that was causing him a good deal of guilt and discomfort just lately, too.

Chapter 18

Like a Moth to a Flame

‘Fancy a walk?’

‘Hello George,’ Annie replied.

When he’d come upon her, standing in the dairy washing muslins the following evening, she’d had a faraway look on her face but it was impossible to miss the fact that the moment she saw him, it had formed into a warm smile. While she hung up the muslins and then dried her hands, he waited and when she was done, he followed her through the milking parlour where, in practised fashion, they slipped unseen out of the back and down through Top Pasture where she linked her arm through his as they strolled casually down the field.

‘So this business with Pa Strong’s new will, then; does it mean you’ll be moving back down here?’

Walking companionably arm in arm, he could feel her looking sidelong at him.

‘No. At least, not for now. Seems I’m not needed,’ he replied, purposely keeping his focus straight ahead.

‘You’re needed by
me
.’

‘Aye an’ you
get
me, don’t you?’ he replied, the picture in his mind softening his own expression.

‘Not enough. I need you here every day.’ When she tightened her grip on his arm he sighed, recognising how such games on her part always jarred no matter how jokingly she intended them, and for what felt like the hundredth time he felt duty-bound to attempt an explanation.

‘Annie, be reasonable. I’m wed. I live up the hill. My wife and my son are part of this family. And by the way, don’t think I’ve forgotten the mazed thing you did at the wedding randy, plying me with cider to get me up in that hayloft, since in my drunken stupor I’m fair certain I almost confessed to Mary what we’d been about.’ Noticing that his revelation merely met with a shrug, he frowned at her. ‘You
know
I’d like to be here more often but how many times do I have to I remind you that I can’t afford to go arousing suspicion? My wife is very… tolerant of my…
activities
. I mean, put yourself in her place for a moment; wouldn’t you be a bit curious about what I was up to so many evenings?’

‘
I
wouldn’t give you reason to stray in the
first
place,’ she replied, and skipped lightly on down the slope, pulling him awkwardly after her, until, reaching the edge of the field, she sat heavily in the grass and held up her hand to him.

‘Well, that’s not really the matter at hand here, is it?’ he asked, purposely sitting several feet away from her.

‘Ain’t it? What
is
the matter at hand then? Only I seem to have lost interest,’ she said, crawling over to him and reaching for the buttons on his shirt.

‘Annie, just for one moment, I beg you, be serious,’ he replied, pulling the fabric from her grasp.

‘What?’

‘Look, I want to be honest with you. You ask me often enough to tell you what I’m thinking, so now that I’m trying to explain, at least look as though you’re listening.’ In what struck him as an infantile gesture, she pressed her lips tightly together and nodded, but with a shake of his head, he continued. ‘If you want this… this
thing
between us to last, we’d be best not inviting trouble. I’m fair certain that if I said I wanted to come back here to live and work, Pa would be more than happy. But the point is, how would you and me do
this
…’ he cast his hand vaguely about them, ‘…if Mary and I
lived
here? Eh?’

‘But I
need
you.
James
needs you. Luke will need you
too
, later on. If you moved back down here, I’d see you all the time,’ she wheedled, and then, looking away from him, reached to pluck a solitary day’s-eye from nearby in the grass.

‘No, see, that’s what I’m saying; truth is you’d see
less
of me since I’d be creeping around worrying where Mary was and about the chances of gettin’ caught.’

‘Hmm.’

‘And that aside, I can’t risk being under Pa’s nose right now.’

‘What do you mean?’

From the corner of his eye, he noticed that she had stopped pulling the slender white petals from their sunshine-yellow floret.

‘Well,’ he said – and then paused, wondering exactly how much to disclose; Ezra Sharpe was forever reminding them not to talk about the
Radicals’
business, even to members of their own families. ‘The time’s coming when… when I’m likely to be called upon to… you know help again.’

‘Those damned
Radicals
,’ she said, her lips compressed to a firm line and her eyes glowering back at him. ‘So they even hold sway over where you live, now. But then me an’ my sons have always been a long way down your list of concerns.’

‘Annie, don’t be sour. You know how important this business is to me, and you’ve said to me many a time that you understand. You assured me you did.’

‘An’ I do, just not so much when they keep us apart.’

‘I didn’t realise they were.’

‘Well, seems to me they get more of your time than I do. You’re always up there talkin’ with them.’

‘Aye, well, the time for talking’s done. Now’s the time for action,’ he said, staring past her into the darkening copse. ‘The harvest will be upon us again soon and ʼtis time to show the squires and landowners that our threats over the months of summer ain’t been idle ones.’

‘Rick-firing, you mean,’ she said wearily. He nodded slowly. ‘When?’

He shrugged.

‘Couple of days’ time, most likely. I’m just awaiting the word.’

‘Take me with you.’

‘
What
?’

‘Take me with you.’

‘Don’t be daft, Annie.’

‘I’m not. I’m deadly serious. I want to see what it’s about. I can help.’

‘No you can’t.’

‘I can. Why do you think me less able than a man?’

‘I’m not saying you are—’

‘I should’ve thought you could trust
me
far more than some fellow you barely know; someone who might choose himself over you in a scrape.’

‘But there’s dangers, Annie. Anything could happen. Not only might it all go badly awry but I can’t afford to be thinking about you when my mind should be on my task.’

‘I can look after myself.’

‘I know you can. And I’m not saying it on account of you being a woman, since you’re a darned sight more capable of looking after yourself than any other woman I know. No, I say it more because I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to you.’

He could see from her widening eyes that his admission startled her.

‘Truly?’

‘Course truly,’ he said, reaching for her hand and feeling her fingers tighten around his own. ‘Why would I lie about a thing like that?’

‘But you still won’t take me with you?’

‘No.’

She gave a sigh, apparently of defeat and taking back her hand, looked thoughtful for a moment.

‘Well I ain’t put off easy and I shan’t give up askin’ but if you’re going to be busy soon come the evenings, then let’s not waste this one with talking about protests,’ she said, and without warning, pulled her blouse over her head. ‘
Or
about your Pa’s will and whether you should be coming to live here now,’ she added, tossing it aside and wriggling out of her skirt.

‘Tell you what,’ he said, grinning up at her as she positioned herself astride his thighs. ‘You mentioning Pa’s will makes me think how Tom would’ve been proper riled to know that his death was going to hand me the farm.’

And with a grin back, she bent low over him to whisper, ‘An’ I’ll show you summat else that would’ve proper riled him, too.’

*

With George’s excursions once again taking on a predictable pattern, Mary found herself spending most of the late-summer evenings on her own. Sometimes, to take her mind from her loneliness, she worked outside until the failing light left her no choice but to give up and go indoors; some evenings she just sat, miserably reflecting on her lot.

For some reason, though, tonight she felt more than usually morose, and standing in the doorway, she stared out across the garden, listening to the bees still droning in the sweetsuckle and the crickets rasping rhythmically from the fading grasses. Exhaling a lengthy sigh, she realised that it was a long time since her afternoon with Francis and that, sadly, the glorious afterglow – which had initially done so much for her mood – had now faded almost beyond recall. Briefly, it had been so wonderful, even making her nicer to George – although if he had noticed, he never commented – but now, much as she had secretly feared, it had left her feeling acutely bereft. The days since their meeting had been long and empty, but until recently she had been able to banish loneliness with thoughts of the astonishing things they had shared. Thinking about it now, she could still barely believe what she had done or what she had discovered. But now, as another week passed, the memories were beginning to blur and her mood with George was beginning to revert to one of resentment, especially on the odd night when he dragged himself rather wearily on top of her and monotonously relieved some need or other. In a way, she pitied him the paucity of his knowledge and the simplicity of his imagination, but recognised that there was no way to disabuse him, even if it might ultimately improve her lot. She wasn’t even sure that she wanted to improve it any longer; at least, not with him, anyway, which felt like sad comment indeed on their marriage. But in her own mind, and this was the worst part of all, she knew that in truth, for her newly found distress, she had only herself to blame.

She turned to look back into the disarray of the room, trying to summon sufficient enthusiasm to tidy it when a voice behind her suddenly said, ‘’Tis a perfect evenin’ out here.’

Spinning sharply around, she gasped.

‘Francis! I was just thinking about you!’

‘Were you, indeed? Well that’s nice to hear but do I feel brave enough, I wonder, to ask exactly what it was you were thinking about me?’ With his hands behind his back and his head angled to one side, he was grinning boyishly and she felt a blush escape from her chest and rush upwards over her throat until it set her cheeks aflame.

‘I was just thinking how much I’d give to see you again.’

‘An’ I see you’re all alone…’

‘Aye. George is down the farm again.’

‘Want to come out here with me, then?’

‘Give me a moment to take a quick look at Jacob and… you know…’ she said and disappeared up the ladder to the loft, returning quickly to take his outstretched hand and let him lead her out into the dusk.

‘How are you?’ he asked.

‘All right
now
,’ she answered and shook her head. What a coincidence it was that he should appear just as she was thinking about him. ‘I can’t believe it. You’re here. I wished for it and you’re here! I should have wished for it ages ago!’

Beside her, he stopped walking and turned to look at her.

‘I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me again.’

What felt to be panic bubbled in her throat.

‘But why not?’

‘Well, you know, I sort of promised you just that one time…’

She shook her head.

‘I thought you were done with me. I thought that was all you wanted.’

‘I thought it was all
you
wanted!’

‘So you won’t stay away so long next time?’ Even as she asked, she knew her question sounded overly bold.

‘Well,
that
depends on what happens next,’ he said, and she found herself being pulled sharply towards him. ‘My, your heart’s racing away.’

‘’Tis what you do to me.’

‘Then goodness only knows what’ll happen if I do—
this
…’

His lips were warm and instantly familiar, and swiftly she kissed him back, feeling how her body began to unwind and how the frustration from the previous weeks was already starting to drain away.

‘Feel,’ she whispered, placing his hand on her chest.

‘Lord!’

‘Oh, don’t pretend surprise. It must happen to all of your women.’ But disregarding her insinuation, he pulled her down into the grass to kiss her repeatedly until she pulled away from him, breathless. Ignoring her attempts to say something, he kissed her again, but as she felt his hand slide underneath her blouse, she gasped and eased away from him. ‘How is it you know how to do this to me?’

‘I just do,’ he replied and pulling her blouse over her head, lowered his mouth to her breast.

Able to think only that she didn’t want him to stop, she found herself clutching at his head.

‘Francis,’ she murmured into his hair, ‘you make me feel like I might burst.’

‘And is that nice?’

‘Yes. No! Oh, I ain’t the least idea any more but ’tis almost unbearable.’

‘Then take off your skirt,’ he instructed, and as she was doing so, she saw him slide off his breeches. Then she felt his warm hands on her hips, and as he lifted her across his thighs, heard him saying softly, ‘I think you’ll like this.’