A Cowboy For Christmas (A Copper Mountain Christmas) (3 page)

It was an odd feeling to be looking at someone he used to know so well and realize that he knew nothing about her now.
She’d been wise enough to say what he’d been thinking—they were strangers now. There was a calmness to the wild child he’d known so long ago.

“
Well Rumple is pretty loyal to me. I’ve had him for six years now,” she said, smiling, and for the first time tonight the expression reached her eyes.

He wondered if that was why she
’d come home for Christmas. There was something about the holiday season that kind of made forgiveness and making up for past mistakes easier to do. He knew life was hard, God knows he understood that better than most. But Annie had always lived in his mind as that sunshine girl with the long hair and winsome smile. The one who got away to a better life and he was okay with that.

But seeing her now made him realize that it was, what?
That maybe he’d been fooling himself when he’d thought he’d moved on with Rainey. That he’d lived to love again?

“
Dogs are like that,” he said.

She arched one eyebrow at her.
“That’s lame.”

“
Yes it was, but you don’t want to talk about anything real,” he said.

“
I didn’t choose wisely like you,” she said. “And I can’t stand whining.”

“
You’ve never been a whiner,” he said. “But maybe we’re not ready to talk too much about our lives. You can be my favorite waitress and I’ll be—”

“
Favorite? I like that, I’ve been serving you chili and cornbread for almost two years now every week and she’s here one night and she’s your favorite?” Flo asked from behind the counter.

He turned, winked at Flo and said,
“No one could ever replace you, Flo.”

“
Sweet-talking Scott boy, but I know you boys are sweet on everyone and no one.”

“
That’s not true,” Carson said. “We’re just not lucky in love.”

“
That’s all right, boy, you’re very lucky in other areas, wouldn’t be fair if you had it all,” Flo said.

Carson knew she was right but a part of him had always wanted more, wanted it all. He didn
’t understand why he couldn’t have a big successful ranch, a happy, healthy son, and a woman who loved him. He didn’t think that was too much to ask for.

“
You okay?” Annie asked.

“
Yeah,” he said, standing and tossing some bills down on the table. “It’s time for me to go and get Evan. I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”

“
Be hard to avoid me if you come in here once a week,” she said.

She stood as well and he couldn
’t help but let his gaze slide down her slim body, lingering on the curve of her hips. “It’s good to see you again. I hope you finally find a place you can stay.”

He walked out before she could respond, so that he could pretend t he didn
’t care that she was back in town. Or that he might still want her.

She
’d learned early on there was no sense in trying to hold onto things once they’d changed. She wanted more and wanted it all but she’d always found the more she reached for things the faster they slipped through her fingers. And she was certain as she watched Carson walk away that she was saying goodbye to those silly teenaged dreams that had lingered in the back of her heart.

He
’d grown and changed and she was still a mess. Always a hot mess searching for something – anything – that would bring back that family she lost when Gilly had been diagnosed with cancer. Since she was thirteen, she’d been searching, and every choice she ever made took her further into the mist and away from this place.

She counted the money from her tips... just sixteen dollars.
When she added that to the twenty she had left in her wallet, she realized she might be able to make it to payday. And she had enough money to buy a can of paint from the Mercantile.

Winter Wonderland started to play on the jukebox and she felt the sting of tears as she remembered Christmases past when she
’d danced to this song with Davis. She might never have been in love with him, but at least she had someone by her side.

“
You’re looking gloomy there, girl,” Flo said.

“
I’m just tired,” Annie said. And the words were partly true. She’d been running on nerves and adrenaline since the FBI had seized all her belongings and put Davis in jail. Now she’d stopped and all those emotions were catching up with her.

“
Paige!” Flo yelled from the grill. “Annie needs a hot chocolate break. Those kiddos of yours want some?”

“
What are you doing?” she asked Flo. She didn’t know Paige well enough to know if she was going to be okay with her taking a break especially on her first night.

“
Getting you out of your own head,” Flo said.

“
I’m fine,” Annie said as Paige came out of her office.

“
Well I’m not. I could use some hot chocolate too. You think you can hold down the fort, Flo?”

“
Do porcupines like pine nuts?”

Paige laughed and called to her kids.
Tyler was ready first with his new blue coat buttoned and zipped up. He came over to Annie as his mom got his sister ready and Annie realized she hadn’t talked to a kid in a long time.

He held a toy in one hand and looked up at her.
Kids. She never knew what to say to them.

“
I’m Annie,” she said, holding her hand out to him.

“
Tyler,” he said, shaking it. “This is my favorite Bionicle, Huki.”

“
What does it do?” The toy looked like some sort of Martian-alien that was made from Lego blocks. It had a huge orange head with reptilian teeth and a beige-brown body. He held it up to her.

“
I also have some other Legos that I make him fight. Like Stormer. He’s part of the evil brain. They are bad guys.”

As Paige and her daughter joined them, Tyler moved next to his mom to take her hand and as Annie followed the three of them she felt a mixture of relief that she didn
’t have to try to make conversation with the six-year-old and a pang inside for something she’d never realized she wanted until this moment. Watching those two little kids holding onto Paige stirred some old dreams. Montana dreams that she’d buried a long time ago.

Main Street was decked out for Christmas.

She followed them into the Copper Mountain Chocolates shop. The shop was small and homey and warm after the bitter chill of November. It smelled of chocolate and was lit up with garlands and twinkle lights. If this place had been here when she’d been a kid, her entire Christmas wish list would have been treats from Copper Mountain Chocolates.

There was a short line at the counter.
The shop walls were lined with chocolate bars of all sizes and sweetness levels. Including a wall that had A-Z lettered chocolates. It smelled good and she thought of the money she had in her pocket. She could blow it on one chocolate bar or spend her money on groceries and fixing up her house.

And she couldn
’t do it. “I’ll wait outside for you, Paige.”

“
You sure? I thought you wanted some chocolate,” Paige said as her children went to chat with some other kids.

“
That was Flo bossing me around,” Annie said.

“
I’ve never known anyone to say no to chocolate unless they didn’t like it,” Paige said.

Annie felt that sinking in her stomach. She hated being poor.
It felt like what she’d thought she’d left behind when she had headed out of Marietta, but she was back and nothing had changed. Not one damned thing.

“
You’ve talked me into it,” she said. She’d sell the grazing rights to her property if she had to, but she was going to fix up her home and make her life into what she’d always wanted it to be. Especially for Christmas. She didn’t want to feel like teenaged Annie Prudhomme again. Ever again.

“
Great. So you grew up here?” Paige asked as they waited.

“
I did,” Annie said as Otis Redding sang Merry Christmas Baby. This was probably her dumbest idea ever. Paige was nice and Marietta had a simple sophistication and a lot of charm, but she still didn’t fit in here. “A lot has changed. I really like the new train station. I never thought it could look so charming.”

“
Speaking of charming,” Paige said as a gust of air brushed Annie’s back, “here comes Carson Scott. I noticed you two chatting earlier.”

“
I hope that was okay—”

“
Relax. I don’t have a lot of rules. I didn’t notice any of my customers complaining,” Paige said.

“
Mommy!” Addison called and Paige walked over to her daughter, leaving Annie to hold her place in line.

“
Well hello, Annie,” Carson said, coming up behind her. And he wasn’t alone. A little boy with Carson’s hair and some very big brown eyes trailed along behind him. He had a toy in one hand and his mittens dangled from his cuffs. Carson was holding a knit ski cap with some kind of cartoon character on it.

“
Hello Carson—what are you doing here?’

“
Same as you. Having some of Sage’s famous hot chocolate.”

“
It’s our
tadition
,” said the little boy with a slight lisp. “After we leave Nana’s house we come here.”

She didn
’t have to be Nancy Drew to know that it was his son Evan. His eyes were surely his mother’s as Carson had said, but his face reminded her very much of Carson when he’d been younger. “That’s a great tradition.”

“
It is,” Carson said.

Paige and her kids got their drinks and then hesitated.
There were no tables and her kids were obviously ready to walk back.

“
I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Annie said to Paige.

“
Take your time,” Paige said. “See you back at the diner.”

Annie ordered her chocolate and handed over her precious dollars.
She took her Styrofoam cup from Sage. Sage had been the year behind her in high school so they hadn’t really known each other. But Sage made friendly small talk about her engagement to Dawson O’Dell until Annie stepped aside.

“
Wait up, Annie, and we’ll escort you back to the diner,” Carson said.

She almost said yes but she realized that being here was making her want things she wasn
’t even sure she wanted. Did she just want them because everyone else had them? Or was it that she had no idea what she wanted anymore?

She shook her head.
She was feeling nostalgic because of the Christmas music and that feeling of not wanting to be alone. But that didn’t make it real. And it didn’t mean that she was any more suited for Marietta or Carson. “Not tonight, Carson.”

“
Good night then.”

“
Night,” Evan said.

She waved goodbye to him and stepped outside the shop, tipping her head back as the snow fell on her face.
She walked a few feet until she was in front of the dark windows of a closed shop and she stood there in the shadow holding onto the hot chocolate, wishing for a miracle. A real Christmas miracle. But she had an idea... you have to know what you want the miracle to be – before it can come true.

And the only thing that entered her mind was Carson Scott.