A Cowboy to Marry (4 page)

He stared at the vehicles lining her driveway and clogging the parking lot of the now-closed dealership across the road.

Her home, he soon found out, was just as congested.

Twenty-five or so women were crowded into the spacious living room. Miss Mim and Miss Rosa were holding court.

The topic? The library, of course.

“The problem is,” Rosa was saying as Holden took off his coat and joined the group, “there's no available building in Laramie where three floors of books could be housed temporarily.”

“I have an idea,” Libby said. “It's a little unusual, but…”

All eyes turned to her.

“What if we divided the books up into sections, much the way they are now, and looked for host homes in town to function as mini-libraries? We could put the information online and still have a help desk in the LRE showroom. Hours could be limited. Say two hours, three times a week, max, for each farmed-out section of the library. That way, the books would still be available to local residents, and they wouldn't have to travel to a neighboring county.”

“What an amazing idea!” Miss Mim said.

Holden thought so, too.

The room erupted in applause.

More excited talk ensued.

Holden's sister, Emily, appeared at his side. “Libby is quite the heroine, isn't she?”

“Yes,” he murmured, “she is.”

Not that this was a surprise. It didn't matter what the problem was. Whether it be a personal or civic matter,
Libby was always first in line to help. The first to start or lead a crusade. Everyone in Laramie knew that, which was why the library volunteers and personnel had convened here tonight. Because they had known that when presented with a particularly thorny problem, Libby Lowell would know just what to do.

Holden couldn't help but admire Libby as she confidently held court. She wasn't just gorgeous as all get-out. She was smart and kind, and could think outside the box.

In fact, he had never met a more fascinating woman in his life. And if she hadn't started out as his best friend's girl, he might have pursued her himself.

His sister broke through his reverie. “And if I didn't know better—” Emily smiled and playfully punched Holden's arm “—I'd think
you
had a thing for her.”

 

“W
HAT WERE YOU AND
E
MILY
talking about?” Libby asked, after everyone had left.

She thinks I am falling for you. Which is ridiculous, since at the end of the day I'll still see you as the woman who was once married to my best friend.

Pretty sure Libby was not ready to hear any of that, Holden shrugged indolently and cut to the chase. “Like everyone else I know, my sister wants me to get out there and start dating again.”

Libby kept her eyes on his a disconcertingly long time, then lifted her chin and regarded him suspiciously. “Did you tell her about us?”

Holden tried not to notice how much trouble she had gone to for their “first date.” She had put on a ruffled Western blouse, formfitting brown cords and lace-up tan boots. Her hair had been swept up into a loose, sexy knot on the back of her head, her lips softly glossed. She smelled
of her trademark cinnamon-and-spice perfume. He forced himself to sound as casual as they'd agreed they would be.

“I figured we would actually go out first.”
See how it went.
“Speaking of which…”

“I know.” The enticing curves of her breasts pushed against the fabric of her blouse as she inhaled. “I'm sorry.” Her tiny reindeer earrings jangled as she tilted her head slightly to one side. “I didn't mean for that to happen, but when Miss Mim and Rosa called, wanting to brainstorm and bring along a few others, I couldn't say no.”

Holden's glance fell to the delicate hollow of Libby's throat before returning to her eyes. “I understand.”

She raked her teeth over her luscious lower lip. “I didn't expect it to go on so long.”

Aware he was beginning to get aroused—also not part of their bargain—he glanced at his watch. “It's only nine-thirty. We could still do something.” Anything to kill the desire building within him.

“Like what?” Libby moved around the room, picking up a few stray glasses and plates. “The late movies have already started.”

She hurried past him, her long, sexy strides adding fuel to the fire already burning deep inside him.

“And most of the restaurants are already closing down. Not that I'm hungry—” Libby chattered on, setting the items in the sink “—since everyone who came over brought some sort of food.”

Holden caught up with her and put the things he had gathered down, too.

Aware she looked increasingly tense and worried—as if afraid to be alone with him—he put his hands on her shoulders. “Relax.”

She tensed even more at his touch. “Sorry.” Swallowing, she forced a nervous smile, stepped back.

This would not do.

Holden shook his head in mute rebuke. Using humor to ease the sudden stress, he winked. “You're as skittish as a cat who just had her tail caught beneath a rocking chair.”

The comparison worked to quell her nerves. “Funny.” Libby returned his droll look with one of her own.

“Seriously.” Holden stepped back and suggested smoothly, “We could go out and get a beer. Listen to music at the dance hall.”

Libby lifted an elegant brow. “And no doubt run into your mom—because she owns the place?”

He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “You're right,” he admitted. “That would be a little claustrophobic for a first date. Even a very casual one.”

Libby sighed and held up a hand in surrender. “Maybe we should just call it a night,” she said apologetically. “Try again—I don't know—sometime next week.”

Holden knew a woman about to back out on him when he saw one. He caught up with her in the hall and kept pace. “What's wrong with tomorrow?”

Libby frowned at the sight of a dirty glass she had missed. She picked it up and held it in front of her like a shield. “I'm going to be at the library to help remove the uncontaminated books that are coming to my home. After that, I'll be busy setting up temporary stacks in my living room.”

“I can help with that,” Holden volunteered.

She shook her head. “You don't have to.”

He studied her, knowing they could not leave it like this and expect things to get any better between them. “I want to,” he insisted quietly.

Libby seemed completely at a loss as to what to say or do next. Which in turn made Holden take a step closer, and ask, “Are you trying to get rid of me?” He scanned her head to toe, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Because you suddenly seem
very
nervous.” And he wanted to know why…so it wouldn't happen again.

“I'm just wired,” she said evasively, setting the lone glass on the foyer console rather than carry it all the way back to the kitchen. She jammed her hands on her hips. “It's been a long day. A lot has happened.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Holden studied her some more. “Sure it's not something else?” he prodded.

She widened her pretty eyes, all innocence. “Like what?” she asked with Texas belle sweetness.

And if there was one thing Libby was not, it was a coquette.

Holden stepped even closer. “Like the kiss…that
almost
happened. That is still on both our minds every time we are alone.”

Color swept into Libby's cheeks. “So what if it is?” she taunted defiantly. “I'm sure we'll get rid of the notion sooner rather than later.”

Holden grinned, the man in him rising to the womanly challenge in her. “I prefer sooner,” he murmured.

Libby scoffed and tossed her head. “Well, so would I! But…there's no way to do that.”

“Sure there is,” Holden told her confidently. “I'll show you.”

Holden threaded his fingers through her hair, then bent and kissed first her temple and then her cheek.

“Trust me,” he whispered, as his mouth drifted slowly, inevitably toward hers. “This is the only solution…if we're ever to have any peace….”

Much as she was loath to admit it, Libby knew he was right. Giving in to the curiosity that had been plaguing her for years now, she went up on tiptoe. Holden groaned, pulling her flush against him. Her heart racing, Libby parted her lips to the investigating pressure of his. He responded by kissing her even more deeply. Her entire body going soft with pleasure at the unhurried coaxing of his lips and the seductive stroking of his tongue, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her hips to his.

For the first time in her life, she began to see what she'd been missing. This was the kind of kiss she had always dreamed about and never received. Evocative. Inundating. Tender. The kind that made her feel all woman to his man. The kind that made her feel that being close to someone again might not be such a crazy idea, after all….

 

H
OLDEN HADN'T COMEHERE
tonight intending to kiss Libby. In fact, his plan had been to delay the physical indefinitely.

But that had been before he'd seen the veil come over her eyes yet again, in a way that made him wonder why intimacy of any kind with him was such a threat to her.

And suddenly he knew.

He broke off the kiss, dropped his arms to his sides and stepped back. “All this time I thought the reason you were so ill at ease with me was because we almost kissed.” He paused, looking deep into her eyes. “But that isn't it at all. Is it?”

 

O
F ALL THE THINGS
she did not want to discuss, her foolish behavior had to be at the top of the list. “I was an idiot that night, long before I hurled myself at you.” One giant mess of hormones and pent-up emotion.

He gave her an understanding glance. “You thought you were pregnant.”

Misery engulfed her. “And I wasn't.”

Holden caught her hand when she would have turned away. “But you didn't know that when you called me and asked me to drive you to the hospital.” He squeezed her palm compassionately. “You thought you were losing your baby.”

Libby leaned into his touch despite herself. “Had I been with child, that baby would have been three months along. Instead, all that was happening inside me was a lot of cramping and the beginning of the worst menstrual period ever! I've never felt so ridiculous or been so humiliated in my entire life.”

Holden studied her. “And Paige and I witnessed it.”

Libby struggled to get a grip. “The difference being that Paige is a physician and a woman.” Her best friend had been able to view the situation with the clinical detachment that Libby had needed. Holden had reacted much
more emotionally. Which had made her feel even worse about dragging him into the situation, and dumping all her problems on him.

“I never thought less of you.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. “My heart went out to you that night,” he murmured against the top of her head. “You'd just lost Percy a couple of months before, and when you thought you were having his baby, you had such joy.” His warm breath touched her ear.

In an effort to shield her eyes from his probing gaze, she let her head rest against his chest. “And guilt, and a million other things,” she whispered as a flood of tears pressed hotly behind her eyes.

He brought her closer yet, one hand moving down her back in long, soothing strokes. “Why guilt?”

Maybe it was time she began to unburden herself. And who better to tell than Holden, who had his own regrets?

Fighting the overwhelming sadness she felt whenever she thought of all that preceded and followed Percy's tragic death, she looked him in the eye and took another halting breath. Finally, she asked what she had never dared voice before. “You don't know the real reason Percy insisted on taking that trip to South America, do you?”

“He said it was to cheer me up after my divorce was final,” Holden replied in a low, gravelly voice.

Libby dabbed at the moisture beneath her eyes. “Well, that was part of it,” she said finally, drawing back.

He brought her back into the curve of his strong arms. His touch was more brotherly than anything else, despite their earlier flirtation with passion. “And the other…?” he murmured.

Libby struggled to get her emotions under control.
“Percy and I had been arguing about starting a family. I really wanted a baby.”

Holden nodded, his grip tightening protectively.

“But Percy didn't.” The tears she had been doing everything to block flowed anyway.

Holden frowned.

Libby pressed on the bridge of her nose to keep more tears from falling. “He already felt tied down.” She gulped and forced herself to go on, get it all out. “He felt he had gotten a raw deal. Inheriting the responsibility for the family business years before he was ready to assume it. Having the woman he married turn out not to be so adventurous and wild at heart, after all. The last thing Percy wanted was the responsibility of a child. Not then, he said, maybe not ever.” She shook her head, remembering that last awful fight. “I was devastated.”

Holden exhaled. “And angry, I'm guessing.”

She forced a watery smile, then she dabbed at her eyes again. “Very. The presumption that we would have children, if for no other reason than to carry on the Lowell name and bloodlines, had always been there.”

She looked up at Holden, wanting him to understand. “Suddenly…with the death of his parents—and the absence of that familial pressure to produce grandkids—there was no reason in Percy's mind to go forward with a family at all. So he scheduled the trip with you to Colombia, and that was that. There was not going to be any more discussion about it when he came back.

“I was so angry and disappointed I didn't even kiss him goodbye before he left.”

And then he had died….

Leaving her with even more to grapple with.

Holden shook his head. Swore softly. “Libby. I had no idea—”

She held up a hand. “I know—no one did.” Feeling calmer now, she pulled away. “Anyway, that's why I had such a crazy mix of emotions when I suspected I might be pregnant after Percy died. I was happy about the baby, but knew he wouldn't have been. It felt like a miracle and a lifelong burden of guilt, all in one.”

“Stress can do funny things to a person's body.”

Libby nodded, appreciating Holden's attentiveness, even as she warned herself not to get too used to it.

Still, she needed to talk to him tonight. Needed the brand of comfort only he could give. “The doctors said my devastation over Percy's death and the acrimonious way we parted, combined with my longing for a child, made my hormones a mess. I was barely eating or sleeping. I was dizzy and nauseated, more often than not. And I went three months without a period before I realized it.”

Holden reached over and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “It's only natural you concluded what you did.”

Silence fell between them as she looked deep into his eyes, noticing yet again what a ruggedly handsome man he was. It was more than just the symmetry of his features or the strong line of his jaw. It was his kindness and compassion. His easygoing attitude and humor. The way he could always make a person feel better with an offhand comment or smile.

“You really think that?”

“Yes. I do.” He hugged her briefly.

She drew back again, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her heart. “I'm glad we talked about this.”

“So am I.” He looked as if he, too, had felt a wall come tumbling down.

“But now we really have to call it a night.”
Before I start making this into something more romantic and meaningful than it really is.

His expression radiated a distinct male satisfaction as he prodded, “So, our first official rebound date…?”

“…will have to wait until we help Miss Rosa and Miss Mim temporarily relocate the Laramie Public Library,” Libby finished firmly.

He squinted as if doing some mental calculations, then said, “Just so I know you're not backing out on our agreement.”

“I'm not,” she promised.

She just needed to make sure that when it did happen, she was composed enough to acknowledge the date for what it was.

Otherwise, it could mean trouble for both of them.

 

T
HE IMPROMPTU MEETING
at Libby's home the evening before had involved mostly women. The gathering Sunday afternoon at the library was mostly of men. And for good reason, Libby thought, as she searched the sea of helpers for the person she most wanted to say hello to, since the task involved moving literally thousands of books to their temporary new homes.

“Looking for someone?” Paige teased, coming up to stand beside her.

Libby continued scanning the crowd. “Holden.”

Her friend handed her a roll of tape, a marker and two collapsed cardboard boxes. “Not here yet. He should be soon, though.” She guided Libby to the toddler section,
where work was already under way. “What's going on with the two of you, anyway?”

Libby ducked her head and focused on putting the box together. “What do you mean?”

Paige pulled up a kid's chair and sank into it. “Why was he at your house last night, looking like he was ready to go out? And why were you so dressed up?”

Libby flushed. Leave it to her best friend…

“And speak of the devil,” Paige murmured with a cheeky grin.

Libby turned to see Holden coming to join them. He had on an old UT sweatshirt and a pair of threadbare jeans, and he hadn't shaved. His dark hair had that rumpled, just-out-of-bed, can't-be-bothered-with-a-comb look, and he was carrying a tool belt in one hand, a pair of leather work gloves in the other. Her pulse raced at the sight of him. “Hi,” she said, unable to help recalling the kiss they had shared.

He looked as if he was doing the same. Even though she had panicked and kicked him out early.

“Hi,” he said, in a softer, sexier tone than usual.

Paige scoffed. “You can't tell me something
isn't
going on!”

Holden announced, deadpan, “We're going to date. We just haven't decided when.”

“What?” She turned back to Libby. “Is he pulling my leg?”

Holden looked at Libby, daring her to deny it.

It was now or never, she thought. Time to jump in all the way.

Or let this chance to start moving on pass her by. She inhaled deeply, stepped closer to Holden and dived in. “We're talking about being each other's rebound date.”

“That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!” Paige declared as her husband joined them.

“Crazy like a fox, maybe,” Kurt declared in amusement.

Holden put on his tool belt. “All we're looking for is a short-term thing to get us over the hump.”

Genuinely worried, Paige said, “Hearts get broken this way.”

“Ours won't,” Libby retorted, as Holden wrapped a companionable arm around her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

 

N
EVERTHELESS
, an interesting question had been raised. And it stuck with Libby the rest of the afternoon.

“Do you think Paige was right?” she asked Holden much later, when they were working at her home.

Volunteers had moved the living-room furniture to the garage for safekeeping. The large space was now filled with the partially disassembled child-size tables and chairs, and the waist-high bookshelves that comprised the newborn to age three section of the library.

Holden opened a box labeled A-C and set it next to the appropriate shelf for her, then returned to his task of putting legs back on tables. “Paige wants us both to be happy. She's just not sure this is the way.” He paused to drive in a screw with a battery-powered tool. Finished, he set the table right side up and turned to Libby with a smile. “I, on the other hand, think we've come up with a great plan to get ourselves back in the saddle.”

His confidence was catching.

“You're right,” she said, bolstering her courage. She knew Holden would never hurt her. She was foolish to worry.

 

A
N HOUR LATER
, the work was done and Libby and Holden stood back, admiring the newly assembled toddler section. It was just as it had been, Holden noted with satisfaction, right down to the wooden train table and the colorful charts and posters on display.

Looking flushed and disheveled, Libby turned to him. Her high ponytail bounced from side to side and she had dirt smudged across her casual cotton sweater and jeans. She had never looked prettier. “Did you eat anything at the library?

Holden shook his head. “I was too busy.”

Admiring you…

“Then you must be starving. Because I am!”

Holden saw the opening and took it. He removed his tool belt and set it aside. “Want to go out?”

Libby looked down at herself and then him. He was just as grubby as she was. “Would you mind eating here?”

Was she kidding? She was a fantastic cook.

“Not at all.” In fact, he was happy to see her feeling comfortable enough with him to invite him to stay. It reminded him of all the dinners he'd had there with her and Percy, before the accident. Some with Heidi, some without. It hadn't mattered. He'd always had a good time in Libby's kitchen. Maybe because she was like the women in his family, able to put people at ease….

She led the way back to the kitchen, where she turned on the oven and put a pan on the stove. Then waggled her eyebrows at him facetiously. “Have your culinary skills improved any?”

Was it Holden's imagination or was it already getting hot in here? He lounged against the counter, trying to stay out of her path. “I can boil water,” he joked.