Read a Coyote's in the House (2004) Online
Authors: Elmore Leonard
He was, the director said, and gave the dad a dirty look.
The dad said, I don't know what came over him. Timmy's never done that before.
We become friends in the third act, Harry Dean said, after he saves my life. Why don't we stay with Buddy? That's what he's known for, isn't it, saving lives?
Buddy wanted to jump up and lick his face. But then remembered, he was through associating with humans.
I'll work it out. Either get another dog, the director said, or another writer.
Chapter
Twelve.
Buddy hopped out of the SUV and followed the dad to the patio where the mom was sitting with a cold beverage. Miss Betty left her side to join Buddy in the yard. They both listened as the dad said:
Well. It was a complete disaster.
Whatever happened, the mom said, and I have an idea what you're going to tell me, I can top it. How much do you want to bet?
Here was the dad, ready to describe the disastrous scene at the studio, and he stopped, curious. What are you talking about?
For the past two weeks, the mom said, we've had a coyote in the house. The vet called to say he reported Timmy to Animal Control. He took some hair samples when he was here and they tested positive. Timmy's a coyote. He probably ate the real Timmy to get that collar. You have to give him credit, the mom said, he's a smart rascal.
The dad could not accept this, even though he believed it must be true, having seen Timmy in action. He said, The dog would have to have been as large as ... our Timmy to wear that size collar. And you think our Timmy ate him?
The mom said, I think our Timmy can do anything he wants. And you know what else I think? I think Buddy and Betty and Timmy talk to each other.
Buddy and Miss Betty immediately looked down at the ground and began sniffing around.
The dad put on an expression that meant he was being patient and understanding and said, Uh-huh, that's interesting. But would you mind if we stayed on the vet? He called Animal Control?
The fink, Buddy said to Miss Betty.
And they're coming over, the mom said, soon. And I think he mentioned the police.
For what?
To pick up Timmy.
Now the dad felt he was in control. He gestured to take in the yard. Do you see him anywhere? Did you see him get out of the Cadillac?
Don't overdo it, the mom said. Something happened at the studio and he ran away.
Oh, now you have time to hear about it?
He ran away yes or no.
The dad hesitated before saying, Yes, he did.
That wasn't hard, was it? the mom said. u d d y and Miss Betty went out to the back part of the yard to discuss the situation. First, though, Miss Betty said, Did you hear her?
She listens to us, Buddy said, trying to pick up what we're saying. She's even tried to trick me. We're outside, she goes, 'You think it's going to rain?' And I looked up at the sky. She grinned at me and said, 'Caught you, didn't I?' All I could do then was try to look dumb.
I know, Miss Betty said. She seems to mention our talking to each other when she's relaxed, having one of those cold beverages. But did Antwan run away or what?
Buddy described what happened and how he told Antwan he'd see him later.
So he's okay, Miss Betty said.
He's fine.
She sensed there was something else he wanted to tell her and asked, What is it? What's bothering you? And had to prompt him again before he said, After Antwan left, Harry Dean Stanton said, 'Why don't we stay with Buddy?'
He thinks I'm just right for the part.
You were in that safari picture together, Miss Betty said, he knows your work. So you're back in?
It's up to the director, Buddy said. But I don't care what he decides, the guy's a creep and I don't trust him. I'm out and I'm gonna stay out.
Not so fast, Miss Betty said. You'd turn down the part because you don't like the director? You'd rather lie around the house, bored, watching your old movies?
No more of that, Buddy said. I've talked Antwan into taking me up the hill to meet the pack. I'm turning coyote as quick as I can.
What was Miss Betty to say, please don't? Knowing it wouldn't do any good? She said it anyway, Please don't, and then tried an argument. What if you can't cut it? What if you can cut it, but they don't like you? They don't care for your old-dog attitude?
You sound like Antwan, Buddy said. He's agreed to take me up to the pack, but says there's no way I'll ever make it as a coyote.
Miss Betty said, Well?
I'm gonna show him he's wrong.
There were tears in Miss Betty's big dark eyes as she said, Buddy, you don't know how to live in the wild, you're in show business.
He gave her a knowing smile. That's why I believe I can pull it off, become one of them. I'm through with humans.
You know what they'll do now, don't you? Get a posse together and go after Antwan.
He paused, looking into Miss Betty's sorrowful eyes. Honey, if I don't find him in time, they'll hunt Antwan down and kill him. hey kept a coyote in the house? Living with them? With little children? I don't believe it.
Most people didn't at first. But now the story was all over the Hollywood Hills and neighbors were calling and coming over to find out if it was true.
Timmy was with us a couple of weeks, the dad said. We were positive he was some kind of dog. He never gave us any trouble.
Timmy loved peanut butter cookies, the mom said. He'd hop right up on the kitchen table and wag his tail.
Neighbors began saying, I guess it's possible. There were all kinds of stories about coyotes living at least close to people.
We had one had dug under our garage and was living there, with pups.
They know when the trash is picked up, so they come the night before, hang out in the bushes.
That's a fact, they watch us take the trash out, like we're waiters serving them their dinner.
No one believed Timmy had carried off Buddy, the German shepherd was bigger than the coyote. And he's a tough old fella, the dad said.
But there were plenty of stories about coyotes carrying off small dogs and precious cats, even a cockatoo. Climbed up to the balcony of our condo and snatched Kathy right off her perch.
I was walking Lotus, our little Lhasa Apso, on a leash. A coyote came along and carried off my baby.
Blow air horns at 'em. Spray 'em with a hose. If I had a gun I'd shoot 'em.
And there were those who said, Coyotes have as much right to the planet as we do. We have to learn how to live together.
You wouldn't say that if your cat had been eaten by one.
Animal Control called hunters and they came to the house in their pickup trucks: experienced hunters with gun dogs, traps and lures, ready to go after this varmint that had sneaked into a house. People feeding 'em is the problem, a hunter said. Did you feed this Timmy?
Of course, the dad said, he was part of the family. You feed 'em they keep coming back, the hunter said. Timmy was living with us, the dad said.
Don't worry, the hunter said, we'll get him, nail his hide to your garage door.
The mom said that wouldn't be necessary.
Chapter
Thirteen.
Antwan and Buddy came out of the deep ravine where it opened up near the crest of the hill. They stopped and looked way down at the house and the humans in the yard.
Already coming after us, Antwan said. You don't stay close to me, homes, they'll run you down for sure. He turned to see Buddy panting, his tongue hanging out, and said, Homes, you look dog tired.
Buddy would be middle-aged if he were human. This running uphill behind Antwan had worn him out. He told himself he'd get used to it once he was in shape again. He hadn't worked this hard since his moviemaking days.
You can't tell where the dens are, Antwan said, but the pack lives all around here.
I know, Buddy said, I can smell them.
Pretty soon he was facing them, coyotes coming out of the rocks and down from the higher ground, the pack looking him over with cold coyote eyes, coming closer to form part of a circle around him.
The big gray one, Antwan said in a low voice, is Cletus, our leader, numero uno. Show him some respect, he might not eat you right away.
Cletus came to within a few feet of Buddy standing his ground, keeping his eyes on the pack leader as the other coyotes moved in closer.
Antwan said to Cletus, Chief, this dude is called Buddy. He wants to pass, thinks he can run with us.
He does, huh? Cletus said. He looks to me like somebody's pet doggy, chews rubber bones and plays with pussycats.
A coyote with a scar across his nose rushed in from the side to nip at Buddy's rump. Too late. Buddy came around to clamp his jaws on the coyote's throat and toss it yelping into the brush.
Another coyote, a female, ran at him, and Buddy stopped her nose to nose. She snarled and he gave her his killer growl and a glare of canine teeth. They were eye to eye as Antwan said, Ramona, behave yourself, girl. This is my friend Buddy I told you about. He turned to Cletus.
Chief, how about if we give Buddy a few days, see if he can keep up with us. Antwan had the feeling Cletus would just as soon not take on this big German dog but would if he had to. Antwan said, I don't see none of the Diablos around, to take Cletus' mind off Buddy.
They went down to the junkyard, Cletus said, mess with those outcast dogs down there.
The Howling Diablos know how to rumble, Antwan said and turned to Buddy. Come on, let's have some fun.
The y topped the crest of the hill and started down through the brush on the other side. But now Antwan looked back and said, I knew it. He stopped and yelled at the coyote following them, Ramona, you aren't coming. Hear? Go on back. Buddy recognized her, the one who'd gone nose to nose with him. He heard Antwan say, Ramona's the one tried to bite you and you stared her down. She shows off like that 'cause she wants to be in my gang and I won't let her. She's my little sister and I don't want her chewing more than she can swallow. Understand what I'm saying?
They watched Ramona, her head down, go back over the crest of the hill. Wait and see, Antwan said, I bet you a big rat she still follows us. Ramona likes to feel her heart beating.
At the bottom of the hill they came out of the trees to a busy street and Antwan said, We cross here.
Buddy said, But how? because cars were whizzing by in both directions.
Homes, Antwan said, you telling me you never crossed a street by yourself?
It's been my job to keep the children on the curb, Buddy said, till the light changes.
Ain't no light here, Antwan said. Just look out for the ones trying to hit you. There's a nice-looking blond-haired female human lives around here any time she sees me she tries to run me down. He said, Okay, here we go.
They ran into the street to start a racket of horns blowing, brakes screeching, got to the other side and Antwan said to Buddy, whose tongue was hanging out, That wasn't too bad, was it?
Buddy was amazed at how quick Antwan was to spot humans and stay out of sight, ducking behind parked cars, dodging around corners and down alleys lined with Dumpsters, the hot scent of garbage filling the air.
Smells good, huh? Antwan said. But no way to get at the grub 'less they leave the trash bin open.
They ran down another alley, slipped past a big truck parked in the way, and there it was behind a ten-foot fence:
JOE'S SALVAGE YARD
A field of old worn-out cars and wrecks sitting in the weeds, and piles of what used to be cars before they were pushed into the crushing machine and flattened.
KA-CHUNG!
Buddy jumped at the sound ringing through the yard. He saw the crusher now, an ugly iron monster with spotlights for eyes, a giant jaw that came down to crush whatever was shoved in its mouth.
KA-CHUNG!
Eats cars, homes, like we eat mice, Antwan said, in one gulp. Come on, there's my gang.
The y were down a ways along the fence, a half dozen Howling Diablos facing as many junkyard dogs through the fence wire, snarling at each other.
That ugly pit bull's their number one, Antwan said. The others were mangy mixed breeds showing their ribs. A couple of toy-sized dogs seemed the most annoyed, acting tough, their tiny voices yipping at the coyotes. Like visiting the zoo, Antwan said.
Now the pit bull spotted Buddy.
What're you doing with those hyenas? Come on over where you belong.
He's got too much class for your crowd, Antwan told the pit bull. Buddy ain't ugly enough to be with you.
One of the coyotes sang through the wire, You ain't nothing but hounddogs, crying all the time.
Another one said, They ain't never caught a rabbit and they ain't no friends of mine.
And the coyotes howled.
Buddy watched them moving around a bit, feeling good and having fun. The next thing, hearing a howl from down the alley, Buddy and all of them looked in that direction.
Ramona was up on top of the truck parked by the fence. Showing off, Antwan said, and called to her, Ramona, come on down. You hear?
Ramona gave another howl, crouched, and now they watched her leap into space to sail over the fence and into the junkyard.
All Buddy had to see was that mangy pack going for Ramona and he was back in the movies. He was Buddy to the Rescue again, running, bounding from the alley to the truck and into the yard, the way he had leaped from boulder to boulder, to save the little girl from the wolves. He could even hear the music from that movie again.
Now Antwan and the Diablos were leaping up on the truck to sail over the fence, chasing after Buddy chasing the junkies.
The pit bull turned to face Buddy and fight what pit bulls loved to do more than anything, when they weren't biting little kids. Buddy flew into him, knocked him down, got the bull's neck skin clamped in his jaw and shoved him howling into the open trunk of a Chevy.
Antwan jumped on the car to slam the lid closed. He said to Buddy, How you know how to do that?
The movies, Buddy said. I took a wolf that way.
Now the coyotes had the rest of the dog pack cornered. But where was Ramona?
Antwan and the Diablos howled her name as Buddy raced in and out of the rows of cars that were waiting to be flattened, Boddy getting closer and closer to that awful KACHUNG of the crushing machine.
Now he saw Joe the Junkman come along in a forklift truck, slip the wide blade under a Honda, lift it and haul the car over to the crusher, its spotlight eyes watching, its big mouth waiting to bite.
Buddy's ears stood up at the sound of a howl, a faint one, followed by barks even fainter. Then KA-CHUNG and that clang rang in his ears. He watched the forklift coming back this way. Watched the blade scoop up a maroon Cadillac, the same kind the family once owned and he'd ride in it with his head out the window, in the rush of air.
He heard the faint howl again.
And saw Ramona in the Cadillac rising on the blade of the forklift. In the window saw her face between raised paws scratching at the glass.
A door must've been open to let her in, Buddy decided, and the forklift jammed it closed picking up the car. He ran alongside the forklift now and barked. And barked and barked and barked. Joe the Junkman wouldn't even look at him. Buddy circled to get a good running start and leaped on top of the Cadillac to stand with his paws planted, looking at Joe looking back at him.
Joe yelling then, Get offa there or you're going in the crusher!
Buddy stood on the hot metal roof and kept barking, eye to eye with the junkyard human, until finally the forklift stopped.
Joe, on the ground now, looked up to see Buddy crouched above Ramona's face in the window. He said, Well, whyn't you tell me?
And Buddy barked, I did, you dummy.
Ba c k with the pack again Buddy was a hero. The Diablos howled his praise, the pups came around to jump on him, and Ramona licked his face in appreciation.
She likes you, Antwan said to Buddy. Too bad you aren't a coyote.
Buddy said right back, Too bad you aren't a French poodle, pretty sure Antwan would know what he meant.
Cletus the pack leader said, So you're the Buddy who was in those Buddy movies. Buddy Goes to War and some others?
I was Buddy in every one of them, Buddy said.
They showed them at that drive-in theater in the Valley, Cletus said. We'd sit up on the hill and watch. Antwan got Buddy away from him saying, Chief, we're hungry from all that rumbling. Gonna go get us something to eat.
He brought Buddy to his den in the side of the ravine, brush covering the opening in the wall of rock. It was a badger's den I made bigger inside and fixed up, Antwan said, laid in some carpeting.
Buddy watched him nose into the den and come out holding a limp mouse by the tail. He dropped it in front of Buddy, who hadn't had a mouse in a long time.
I forgot what they taste like.
Only one thing better, Antwan said, and went into the hole to bring out a few more mice for Buddy.
Buddy looked down at the mice Antwan dropped in front of him, then walked up to the den saying, I'd like to see the inside.
Go ahead, Antwan said, with a mouthful of mouse. Stick your head in there.
Buddy parted the brush with his nose and looked in. He saw wall-to-wall rabbit fur, limp mice lying about, a scattering of all kinds of bones, big ones, little ones, and he saw a pile of what could only be . . .
Cat collars! Buddy howled.
A pile of them, and right away he thought of Lola the Persian.
Her collar wouldn't be here, but there were some that he recognized. Collars he had seen on Geeja and Suzanne, on Alex and Max, neighborhood cats he had chased and played with. Cats as well-behaved as he was.
Buddy brought his head out of the hole to look at Antwan. I see you've had your share of cats.
Love 'em, Antwan said, swallowing a mouse. I've never had a cat I didn't enjoy.
Some of them, Buddy said, were friends of mine.
Antwan, another mouse in his mouth, managed to say, Oh. He swallowed and said, We like different food, that's all.
We're different in more ways than that, Buddy said. I'm not cut out to be a coyote. My breeding won't allow it.
You showed you can run with us, Antwan said, but if you feel you have to go back Buddy nodded.
Where I belong. He said, I hope we can still be friends, though. Amigo, come visit us sometime, and took off down the ravine.
Watching him, Antwan was thinking: Sometime? Or right now? He was sure Buddy's scent would raise the gun dogs and the hunters would find him soon enough. They'd bring Buddy home and all the humans would stand around rubbing his coat, telling him what a good dog he was, everybody busy with Buddy.
It would give Antwan the chance to circle around behind them to the yard, push through the dog door and into the house. He'd see how Miss Betty was doing and maybe score some peanut butter cookies. Antwan was still hungry.
Chapter
Fourteen.
The hunters picked up Buddy, snapped a leash to his collar and brought him home.
They were cheered and slapped on the shoulder and offered a cold beverage while Courtney and even Cody hugged Buddy and the dad roughed his coat saying, Hey, fella, where you been, huh? Out looking for Timmy? You have to stay away from him, fella, Timmy's a bad boy. It was as though the dad still refused to admit Timmy was a coyote.
Buddy heard the hunters talking about going out again. Since we have the gun dogs here. We got den smokers and some good lures. One's the scream of a rabbit in deep doodoo, about to get et by a snake or something.
He saw the mom watching him, like she was waiting for her turn. As soon as the kids and the dad left him alone, the mom took Buddy by the leash and walked him away from the crowd. Now she stooped down to unsnap the leash from his collar and waited for him to give his coat a good shake. In a quiet voice then she said, Guess who phoned.
Buddy turned to see her face close to his.
You understand what I'm saying, don't you? It was your pal from the safari movie, Harry Dean Stanton. He said he was looking forward to working with you again.
Buddy's tail began to wag.
Harry Dean said he had a long talk with the producer. He said by the time they were finished the director was fired and you're back in the movie. Do you understand?
His tail still wagging away, Buddy put his nose to the mom's face and gave it a few licks.
The mom smiled saying, You dog you.
She left him and Buddy stretched out in the grass to rest. He watched friends and neighbors leave, waving to the mom and dad, who waved back going to the house, the dad saying, Let's see if it's on the news. It was right after this that Buddy, once again the happiest dog on earth, raised his head and spotted Antwan:
Antwan slinking along close to the house. Now he was through the dog door, inside.
Mi s s B e t t y s a t by the open window, her slim muzzle resting on the sill. She had watched the crowd gather in the yard, saw the hunters return with poor Buddy on a leash, saw the mom remove it and then look as though she was talking to him. Hmmmm Miss Betty would ask him about it for sure. But first she'd say how glad she was he was home, how she already missed him . . .
But now she heard the faraway howl of a coyote and Buddy vanished from her mind.
An twan, in the doorway to her bedroom, watched Miss Betty raise her head and seem to wait, like she was listening for the howl to come again. He didn't want to startle her. He said, Hey, showgirl? in a quiet tone and saw her turn, her eyes shining, and he knew she was glad to see him.
She said, I wondered if it was you out there.
That howl? Girl, you hear my song you'll know for certain it's me.
You love to brag, don't you?
I only say what's true.
Buddy's here.
I know, I saw him.
Is he home for good? I'm pretty sure.
What will you do now?
Me? Be a coyote, it's what I do.
But you don't have to. Didn't you like being a dog? I was always hungry. I still am.
Lola's treats are in the closet.
I mean I'm hungry for game, real food, since you don't have any peanut butter cookies.
Buddy was waiting in the hall, listening to them for a minute before coming into the room saying, That's why you're here, you're hungry? at ease with Antwan and with himself.
I shouldn't be running around in the woods just yet, Antwan said. This is the safest place I know of.
Miss Betty said to Buddy, I'm so glad you're home.
The old dog's come back a hero, Antwan said, a real one. He saved Ramona from the crushing machine at the junkyard. It has to be a movie. Buddy and the Jaws of Death, starring Buddy in a true-life adventure.
She turned to Buddy. What's he talking about?
Wait, Buddy said, watching Antwan at the window now. You hear it? Antwan said. There it is again.
Like a baby crying, Miss Betty said.
They heard it again, the pitiful cry of a small animal in trouble, caught in a trap or in the coils of a snake, helpless.
It's a rabbit, Antwan said, feeling a rush of excitement, his heart already racing, his nose almost smelling the game.
The hunters have lures, Buddy said. They can imitate that sound and draw you into a trap.
It's a rabbit.
And that was all Antwan said. In the next moments he was out the window, down the slanting roof to the ground, across the yard and over the fence, Miss Betty and Buddy watching him all the way.
She said, He knows the hunters are out there, her tone filled with worry, tears coming to her eyes.
Honey, Buddy said, he's a coyote.
I know but Antwan's different.
Buddy said, You want me to tell you what I saw in his den?
He waited. Miss Betty didn't answer. She rested her muzzle on the windowsill. Minutes passed. Now they heard a faraway sound that was like a crack of lightning and her head came up.
A gunshot, Buddy said.
Now three more shots echoed through the hills, then silence. A long silence, time passing as they waited.
And then out of the dusk came the howl, the call of the coyote, the lonesome dog song rising to the sky.
It's Antwan, Miss Betty said.
Buddy said, It could be any coyote.
No, it's Antwan, Miss Betty said. I know his howl. As the song faded she wondered if they would ever see him again.