A Curse of the Heart (20 page)

“It is the logic of a man whose heart is filled with sorrow,” she whispered.

His head shot up, that one sweet sentence making him feel normal, making him believe his obsession was a natural conclusion drawn from years of suffering. “The strange thing is, I can’t stop searching for the answer, even though I still do not really understand the question.”

Rebecca smiled. “You do not have to search anymore, Gabriel,” she said, “because I understand the question. I know the answer you seek.”

Chapter 20

It took every ounce of strength Rebecca had
to stop the tears from falling. Gabriel looked so tortured, so heartbroken; her heart was bleeding, too.

She understood grief, and now she understood love because she would give everything she had to ease his torment, to lessen the burden he had carried around all these years.

The room fell silent, except for the sound of his ragged breathing and she pushed herself out of the chair and walked around to kneel at his side.

“Now I know why God saw fit to bring us together,” she said stroking his arm. “Why I seem to understand what you’ve been searching for.”

He dragged his hand down his face, the strain of suppressed emotion evident. “How can you know the question? How can you know what drives me when I don’t even know myself?”

“Because I know what grief is, Gabriel. I know what it is to want to turn back the clock and make everything right again. I know how it spins us into its web until there is no life beyond, so we are stuck, clinging to the silken thread hoping we can survive a bit longer. I know all we can do is search for the answer to the question — what can I do to live a day without the pain of grief?”

He looked up at her, his weary eyes growing bright with wonder, as though he had crossed oceans and continents on a fool’s crusade and had finally stumbled upon a wise mystic with the power to banish ghosts.

“If that is the question,” he whispered, “then what is the answer?”

Rebecca put her hand on his cheek. “I shall tell you the answer, Gabriel, but not now. You must be patient. There is something I need to do. Will you wait here while I go and get the parcel?”

“The parcel?” he said, a little confused. “I’d forgotten all about it.”

She had distracted his mind, his gaze returning to the present, dragging him back from the dreamy place, exactly as she’d intended.

With Gabriel, there was always an inner struggle. And she could sense those opposed feelings now: relief because they had changed the subject and an impatience to know the answer that had plagued him for so long.

“Perhaps it could wait until tomorrow,” he said, his impatience winning the battle.

“It cannot wait,” she said, moving to the table to pull the crystal top from the decanter before refilling both glasses. With her glass in hand, she walked over to the door. “Give me a moment and I shall be right back.”

Rebecca returned to her chamber, leaving Gabriel to sit alone with his thoughts. Sorrow had kept the excitement at bay and the shock of knowing he had struggled all these years on his own.

Her mind conjured an image of a room filled with glass jars, of organs bobbing about in a strange brown liquid. She wondered what sad thoughts drifted through his mind when he looked at them.

Organs!

In all her wild imaginings, she would never have guessed that. The fear and apprehension in his eyes made her heart ache. Perhaps he expected her to find the notion weird, to find him abhorrent. But his declaration had made her want to scurry across the table and jump into his arms, to kiss him, declare undying love and ease his torment.

Even now, she hoped she was strong enough to bring her plan to fruition. Gabriel needed her tonight, and she would not disappoint.

Lifting the lid from the box, she stared at the emerald-green gown; put her hand up through the diaphanous material, which without the modesty of a chemise and petticoat was completely transparent.

Her mother had worn it respectably. Thanks to Madame Coulter, the hole was unnoticeable, and Rebecca would wear it on its own. Sinfully. Her naked body visible, and draped in an emerald shimmer.

In a quick flurry of activity, she undressed. Her hands trembled as she let the material glide down over her bare skin. Despite drinking more claret than usual, she swallowed what remained in the glass, let the warmth infuse her body as she pulled the remaining pins from her hair.

Nerves held her at the chamber door.

What was she thinking; she was a novice, unskilled in seduction? How would she know what to do? Then she thought that perhaps it wouldn’t be too difficult, not if she followed her heart, not if she let desire work its magic.

With that in mind, she crept along the corridor and lingered in the doorway. Gabriel was still sitting in the chair, cradling his glass, his head bent low as he examined the blood-red liquid, swishing it around and waiting for it to settle.

Sucking in a breath, she tiptoed into the room. “In my excitement, I couldn’t help but try it on.”

She had to purse her lips when he glanced up, as his eyes grew wide and raced over every inch of her body. She noticed him swallow and watched his mouth open and close as he struggled to speak.

“I … I see you saved the best until last,” he finally said, moistening his lips.

“Do you like it?” she asked, her tone husky as his gaze fell to her breasts, to the perky nipples that were so pleased he approved.

“To say I like it would be something of an understatement. This is by far the best surprise of the day.”

“Come,” she said, taking him by the hands and pulling him to his feet.

He drew her into an embrace, his fingers skimming the curve of her hip, causing the sheer material to tickle and tease her sensitive body.

“No,” she whispered as he lowered his head to claim her mouth, “not yet. Tonight we will do things a little differently.”

He raised a mischievous brow, intrigue flashing in his eyes, banishing the pain and sorrow. “That sounds interesting.”

A pang of doubt flared, and she tried her best to ignore it. “I can promise you it will be,” she said taking his hand and leading him down the dimly lit corridor, aware that the view from behind was utterly scandalous.

She led him into her chamber, stopping to lock the door before pulling him closer to the bed.

“So, now I’m your prisoner, what do you intend to do with me?” The tone of his voice suggested he was as eager as she to play these games, and Rebecca wanted nothing more than to please him.

“Don’t worry,” she laughed, “nothing torturous, but I am going to decide what happens. I am going to seduce you, and you are going to stand there and let me.” Her voice sounded confident now, like the voice of a seasoned courtesan.

Gabriel’s ravenous gaze fell to her breasts. “Madam, consider me seduced,” he said and giving a low bow, added, “but I am forever your humble servant. You may do with me what you will.”

Desire burst forth in giant waves, crashing through her body, almost sweeping her off her feet. She had managed to bring him this far, all she needed to do was focus. Think. No, not think, feel. What did she want to do to him? What would he like her to do?

Feeling wickedly sinful, she ran her hands down the front of the thin material, a gentle caress that fluttered over her hips, over the soft curve of her stomach. “I suppose I should wear a chemise under this,” she said as her hand crept higher, “and stays to give me some lift just here.”

Gabriel sucked in a breath. “I find I like it just the way it is.”

“You do? Then perhaps I could wear it to my next ball.”

“You’ll only ever wear it in my bed,” he said devouring her with his heated gaze.

Rebecca loved seeing him like this, so devilishly handsome, so carefree, so aroused. “I’m going to touch you, Gabriel, but you must promise not to touch me until I allow it. Can you make such a promise?”

The corners of his mouth turned up. “Oh, I promise. I promise to do whatever I’m told.”

“Good,” she said with some authority, “take off your boots.”

He obliged, and she came to stand in front of him. Her fingers crept up the front of his waistcoat, and she undid the buttons. Pushing it back off his shoulders, she moved to work on his cravat while he simply stood and watched her.

She yanked his shirt from his breeches, ran her hands up over the hard planes, the heat from his skin scorching her palms. Standing on her tiptoes, she lifted his shirt up over his head and pressed her body into his; rubbing gently against his bare chest as ripples of pleasure pulsed through her.

Gabriel was true to his word and didn’t touch her, but she heard the growl in the back of his throat, watched him lower his head and inhale the scent of her hair.

The sight of him stole her breath: his broad, muscular shoulders, the dusting of dark hair on his chest, the perfectly formed muscles in his abdomen. It took every effort not to jump on him, ravage him, sate her desire and consummate her love. Instead, she circled him slowly, placing kisses on his upper arm and across his back, as her fingers trailed a seductive line in hot pursuit.

“Gabriel,” she whispered, coming round to kiss the small dark nipple, flicking her tongue over the peak when he sucked in a breath. “You have the body of a Greek god,” she hummed moving to the other side, gathering the courage to bite, nip and lick the bronzed skin that tasted so divine.

The passion burning inside drove her forward. And so she stood on her toes and brushed her lips against his, her fingers following the trail of dark hair down to the band of his breeches. His breathing grew ragged, her head dizzy from the wine, from the feeling of euphoria and she let her hand wander lower down to the fall of his breeches, rubbing against the evidence of his arousal.

“Holy hell,” he muttered, closing his eyes. “Tell me I can touch you.”

Rebecca smiled. “Not yet,” she said softly, and she ran her tongue over his lips, penetrating the moist line until she was inside his mouth. As her hand stroked him, she continued to explore, her tongue tempting, teasing, eliciting a response only to pull away.

“When I said you would be the death of me, I was damn well right. How much longer?”

Rebecca liked this game; she liked having him at her mercy. She liked seeing the pleasure on his handsome face. “Remove your breeches,” she demanded, “I want you naked.”

He cursed as he stripped off every stitch and then stood before her, hard and glorious.

Her mind raced back to the erotic images stored in the crate, to the ancient Egyptian papyrus she’d found rather enlightening. And with that in mind, she pushed him back until he fell onto the bed.

Gathering up the diaphanous material, she pulled it up over her head. Her body was ready for him, aroused beyond anything she had felt before, and she climbed over him to straddle his beautiful body.

His eyes widened as she took him in hand, as she directed him to the place that throbbed and ached for his touch. “Not yet,” she whispered determined she would do the claiming, and his hands fell obediently, balling the counterpane into his fists as she lowered herself down slowly.

“Oh, God,” he panted as his head fell back, his eyes flying open when she took the whole length of him with a low pleasurable hum.

She could have stayed like that forever, feeling full, feeling happy, but the desire in her belly compelled her to move, even though she wasn’t sure how.

Guessing that the principle was the same regardless of the position, she lifted herself up and then sank back down. She knew she had done something right as he muttered a sweet curse and whispered, “Do it again.”

As she found a rhythm, he folded his arms behind his head and watched each delicious slide. It was shocking, sinful, so wonderful that she quickened the pace. Feeling the coil inside tighten, her movements grew wild and frantic. “Now,” she breathed, already halfway to Heaven.

With a growl, he sat up, grabbed her round the waist and held her tightly against him as he flipped her onto her back. His movements were just as frantic, thrusting hard and deep as she wrapped her legs around him and clawed at his shoulders. She threw her hands behind her head and let him take her; let him ride her until she felt as though she was flying. His hands grasped hers, and he held them there, palm to palm, their fingers woven together, the bed banging against the wall as they found their glorious release together.

Chapter 21

Rebecca woke to the sound of Gabriel’s deep, rhythmical breathing and cuddled into the warm hard body beside her, desperate to keep last night’s dream alive.

The night had been spectacular.

He was magnificent.

Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly love him more, he did something or said something to make her heart swell. She longed to tell him, and almost blurted it out during the throes of passion, when her mind and body shook with a need only he could sate. When she knew there would never be another, only him.

Feeling desire spark again and remembering how glorious it felt to join with him, she glanced up at his closed lids before peering under the sheet to study the masculine form she found so intriguing.