Authors: Sandra S. Kerns
Chaney started to fight his hold until he spoke. The fear in his eyes and hoarse timber of his voice stopped her. She cupped his cheek with her hand. “No, oh no, Jed. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. As far as I know Ashley is fine.”
“Then what
’s wrong? What don’t you want to tell me? Wait. Is it Steve? Did something happen to my cousin?”
She shook her head. “No. It was you.”
His brow furrowed as his eyebrows dipped. He tipped his head in obvious confusion. “Me? Nothing happened to me.”
Chaney knew he didn’t understand, but she knew something had happened to him. Her. She had kicked him when he was down. Turned her back on his pain.
“Martha said you--”
He released her and held his hand up as he stepped back. “I get it. I said something that made her suspicious and now you’re worried she knows the marriage is a sham and you’re going to lose the ranch. I’ll straighten it out. You didn’t need to ride out in the middle of a storm to read me the riot act.”
A second before she tossed out a sarcastic comeback, she realized she probably deserved that.
“That
’s not what I was going to say,” she said. “When you didn’t come in for lunch and the storm started rolling in, Martha said you mentioned going for a ride. The stable hand said you had left an hour or so earlier and looked . . .” she grinned and raised her eyebrows, “scary.”
He blew out a loud breath and plowed his hands through his wet hair. “Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to terrorize your hired hand.”
Now Chaney did walk over to him. “You didn’t. He said you looked scary, but the way you handled the filly went a long way toward winning him over. I got the feeling he was a little worried about you, when you didn’t come back before the storm.” Reaching out, she took one of his hands in hers. “And so was I.”
“Right.”
“I guess I deserve that. I threw your offers to help as well as your concern for me back in your face earlier. My only defense is, no actually, there is no defense for how I treated you. It was obvious you were devastated watching Ash leave. She’s not my daughter and I was devastated. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for your concern in regard to me.” She looked away then forced herself to meet his gaze. “It’s been a long time since anyone--”
Jed pulled on her halting her words.
“Martha and Belle would do anything for you. So would any of your hands.”
She smiled, shaking her head. “Totally different thing and this isn’t about me. It’s about you. When we were young, you never talked about your parents, so I never realized how much you missed them. You’ve already lost so much. I see it in your eyes even now. I can only guess how terrifying it is to face the possibility you mig
ht lose your daughter as well.”
He yanked his hand from hers. His eyes glared down at her.
“Don’t you dare pity me. I won’t accept that from anyone and definitely not someone who hates me.”
Chaney held herself still against his anger, but inside she cringed. It was one thing to say she hated him herself; it was another to have those words turned back on her. She could understand his anger. Continuing this pretense was stupid and tiring. She didn’t love Jed anymore, but she had to adm
it, she didn’t hate him either.
As she stood there meeting his hot angry gaze and listened to the storm raging outside, a delicious thought came to her. Actually, memories of the two of them waiting out a storm in this cabin washed over her. She reached a hand to his face again and str
oked her fingers along his jaw.
“I don’t hate you, Jed,” she said. Going up on tiptoe, she brushed her lips over his. His hands grasped her hips and pushed her a hair’s breadth away.
“You’ve made it abundantly clear these past two weeks you do; and, that you aren’t interested in us being together anymore. I might not be brilliant, but I’m not stupid either. I’m also not a glutton for punishment. Don’t worry. I’ll keep up the charade. We both need the marriage to
look
real.”
Chaney held his gaze through his entire speech. She even agreed with most of what he said. She knew she was playing with fire. If she got pregnant now, her heart would break when he fought her for custody. However, the pain she’d seen in his eyes when Ash had left, the pain she’d added with her hateful words, and her fear for him when the storm rolled in had changed something inside her. Now, between the rain on the roof, the fire in the stove, and the fire building low in her belly, she didn’t want to keep her distance. She wanted Jed. She might not want him forever, but a quick trip down memory lane in this cabin? She couldn’t resist.
She wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him close again. “Jed, sometimes you talk too much.”
To keep him from arguing she kissed him. This time she didn’t waste time with a brush of her lips to his. She leaned into him fully
and gave it everything she had.
It took a moment or two, but he did respond in kind. In fact, he took control and Chaney gladly let him. They might not be meant for each other, but one thing they knew was how to please each other physically. When they broke the kiss, his fingers were already trying to open her shirt. Chaney pushed his hands away and smiled. She couldn’t let him tear it open in his haste. Riding back to the house without a shirt wouldn’t be a very good idea. While she worked the buttons on her shirt, she smiled watching him pull the T-shirt he wore over his head. His hands moved quickly to his belt.
Oh yeah, this was going to be good.
That was the last clear thought she had as his body stole her breath.
Jed tried to tell himself no. The connection between his hands and his brain seemed to have short-circuited as he kept stripping away pieces of clothing. As soon as they finished with his own, they moved back to Chaney’s body. Damn. Why couldn’t she wear plain cotton underwear for work? These colored lace things he had quickly learned she preferred were so contrary to her regular clothing choices they drove him insane.
As her wet shirt dropped to the floor, he grabbed her around the waist and bent his head to take a breast through the teal colored lace covering it. The rougher texture of the lace contrasted the soft skin he knew lay beneath it feeding his hunger for her even more. He stopped fighting his desire. At the moment, he didn’t even care if this was pity sex. He wouldn’t deny himself this gift.
Lifting her slightly, he took a few steps and backed her up against the wall freeing his other hand from bracing her. While he paid homage to her other breast, his hands moved to the waist of her jeans. It took little time to open them, but sliding wet jeans down her legs proved another thing altogether. He lifted her over his shoulder causing her to screech in surprise.
“Jed! What are you . . . doing?” She finished her question as he deposited her on the cot across the room.
Holding her feet in the air, he worked her boots off one at a time. His gaze never left her body. With her jeans and panties bunched around her knees and her bra still on she was a half-wrapped candy he was having a hard time waiting to devour. Throwing the second boot across the room, he grabbed her pant legs and pulled them off in a whoosh letting her legs fall to the cot. He stood over her admiring her body. When his gaze reached her eyes, he smiled.
“Take off your bra,” he said.
When she did as he asked his mouth went dry. It had been forever since he had seen her like this. Though they had been together several times, she never let him look at her like this. She made sure it was dark, or they came together fast. This was an unexpected treat. Their first night together, his hand had felt a scar along her leg, though the distraction of actually being with her again had diverted his attention. The next morning in the barn, her rush to cover herself had confused him again and made him almost ask. Her sudden change in mood had again distracted him. After that, he decided they didn’t need to add any more friction between them and didn’t even think about it. Now, he figured either she thought the darkness caused by the storm, or the light from the stove weren’t enough for him to see her clearly. But damn, what he could see was better than he could have ever imagined. Scar or not, Chaney was a beautiful woman.
Chaney had developed into the perfect mix of soft and toned. Since the woman never took time to lie in the sun there were no distracting tan lines. Her skin was pure white temptation with the dark tips of her breasts enticing him to near bursting. Nevertheless, he forced himself to go slow. There was no doubt in his mind this might be their last time together. He wanted to make su
re it was a damned fine memory.
Starting at the foot of the cot, he kissed her toes. He had to hold her foot since she was extremely ticklish. The memory made him smile as he continued kissing his way up over her ankle and strong toned calf. Flicking his tongue across the sensitive skin behind her knee had her trying to jerk away again. He held on and continued his way up her inner thigh. The woman had amazingly sensitive skin. It quivered under his touch.
“Jed, please.”
Her whispered plea fueled his desire. He couldn’t continue the same lingering pace, especially reaching the juncture of her thighs. The scent of her sex made him pulse with need. Pulling himself up further, he licked and nipped his way over her taut belly to her breasts. Savoring their softness for a quick moment, he moved up and t
ook her mouth in a hungry kiss.
He nearly went over the edge when she rubbed her pelvis against him. Breaking the kiss, he inhaled deeply as he stared down at the passion radiant on her face. He braced himself on his forearm while he reached down with his other hand to stroke her again. The way her body immediately lifted into his palm and her quick breaths told him she was close. As much as he loved watching her come, this time, he wanted them to come together. Just once, he wanted to remember the wonder of that again.
Using his knees, he pushed her thighs even further apart, and then positioned himself to enter her. He looked deep into her eyes, gave her a quick hard kiss, then thrust himself to the hilt. His fingers curled into the thin mat on the cot as she wrapped her legs around his hips and amazingly pulled him even deeper.
“Chaney girl,” he growled.
“Yes, Jed,” she whispered close to his ear.
Jed was lost. His body moved on pure instinct and need until he heard h
er call his name one last time.
Chaney wondered if her breathing would ever settle into a normal rhythm again. Never, even when she was young and loved him, had the sex ever been like this.
For several long minutes, they lay there falling slowly back to earth. That was the only way she could describe it. She certainly hadn’t been earthbound when they came at the same time. That had been amazing.
Now will you admit you love him
?
The annoying question from her conscience ruined the moment.
“What’s wrong?”
Chaney opened her eyes to find Jed staring down at her, concern furrowing his brow. He must have felt the tension her inner debate had brought with it. She was supposed to be comforting
him, not the other way around.
“Nothing,” she said offering a smile. “What could possibly be wrong after that?”
The ploy didn’t work. She felt him pull away not just physically, but emotionally as well. Even telling herself that was a good thing, a pain speared through her chest. Though he was levering himself off her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back.
“Don
’t go yet,” she whispered.
For a moment, he held himself stiffly above her. Chaney forced herself to hold his confused gaze. After what seemed forever, he relaxed his stiff arm and rolled them over. Chaney happily rested her head on his chest. She had to admit she enjoyed listening to his strong heartbeat. He lay with one hand behind his head and the other absently stroking her back. She relaxed, really relaxed for the first time in weeks. She didn’t say anything for a while not wanting to distu
rb the rare peace between them.
How long they remained that way, Chaney couldn’t be sure because she fell asleep. When she woke up, she found herself wrapped in a cocoon called Jed. One of his arms wrapped around her upper body and one leg covered her lower half. His breathing told her he wasn’t asleep. He had simply moved to keep the chill from her when she fell asleep. Her heart’s fortification weakened a little more with the consideration.
Why couldn’t he remain the bastard he’d been when he left her years ago? Damn it.
“The storm has moved on,” he said.
Of course, he knew she was awake. He knew every time her awareness changed. “We should probably get dressed and head back before Martha sends out a search party.”
The thumb he had been stroking on her shoulder stopped at her words. A moment later, he lifted his arm as if opening a door to let her off the cot. Chaney knew she should take the opportunity. She turned in
stead so they faced each other.
His gaze met hers, but she couldn’t read it. No hint as to his thoughts showed in the beautiful blue pools that she could see clearly, now that the sun had returned. She lifted a hand to his jaw.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Fine. You?”