A Daughter's Disgrace (24 page)

With a sigh of relief he turned the page of his account book and began to enter today’s figures. At least he knew where he was with them.

It was Saturday teatime before Vera managed to call round. She arrived windblown but glamorous as ever, raincoat belted tight and lipstick bright red.

‘Look at you!’ She rushed to hug her friend. ‘You’re still blooming! Your hair’s all thick and wavy. Mind you, you haven’t been out in that hurricane.’

‘I haven’t been out at all,’ admitted Alison, turning up the gas fire and pulling two armchairs closer. ‘But you look like a model with that lipstick. How did you get away with that at work?’

‘I don’t,’ said Vera, patting her hair back into place. ‘The dragon won’t let me, so I just use Vaseline for a bit of shine. Anything else and she thinks I’ll steal her boyfriend. So I stuck this on in the loos before I left. Got to keep up standards.’ She gave a huge grin. ‘Go on then, where is he?’

‘Fred? He’s still downstairs.’

‘I know that, you daft mare. I waved to him. No, the baby. You’re having me on.’

‘I’ll fetch him,’ said Alison, forcing herself not to wince. ‘Shall I get you something to drink first?’

‘No, I’ll make it, I know where everything is.’

So with no further excuses left, Alison went to get David from his cradle. It always surprised her that he reacted to her presence, seeming to hear her approach, and how he blurrily fixed his eyes on her face. She smelt him but thankfully he seemed to be fresh – she hated changing him and had had to do so twice that afternoon already, as Fred had been busy in the shop. Dutifully she carried him back to the living room, where Vera had set out two cups of coffee from the percolator that had already been switched on ready for Fred when he came upstairs.

‘Look at him! Look at those little hands!’ Vera was cooing over him at once, brushing his face, tickling him. ‘Can I hold him? Sure you don’t mind?’

‘No, please do, go ahead,’ said Alison with relief, passing him across.

‘Oooh, I’m out of practice, haven’t held one this small since my aunt Beryl’s kids were born.’ Vera shuffled round to support his head. ‘Course, she’s got your sister living next door now … sorry, well, you would know that, wouldn’t you?’ She stopped, seeing the look on her friend’s face. ‘Is everything all right? What have I said? Oh God, I’m so stupid. It’s who lived there before, isn’t it? Why did I open my big mouth? I never think. Really, I didn’t mean to upset you. Don’t take on.’

Alison gulped and looked away. ‘No, it’s not you. It’s every time I catch sight of his face. It’s not as if I stand much chance of forgetting, is it? He’s the spitting image of his father and I hate it.’ She paused and twisted her hands together. ‘I mean, what sort of mother am I? Everyone says he’s a lovely baby but I can’t see it, I just see … him. It’s like a nightmare, all day every day. I don’t want to hold him or hug him or anything. I just about manage to feed him though I’m going to get him a bottle as soon as I’m up to going out. Then Fred can do it.’ She sank back into her chair, exhausted. ‘You’ll think I’m a monster.’

‘No, not at all.’ Vera shook her head, trying not to disturb David. ‘It must be awful. We’re all excited as can be about him and you can’t join in because of how he got here in the first place. It’s sod’s law he looks like his dad. Not much that can be done about that. Is there any of you in him? What about his mouth? His little cheekbones?’

‘At least he’ll be better off taking after his dad for looks,’ Alison scowled. ‘It’s a good job you all want to see him because the less I have to do with him the better. Fred loves looking after him, and that makes me feel even worse.’

‘Well, he would, wouldn’t he? Fred’s that sort of man.’ Vera jiggled the baby, who gurgled contentedly. ‘Things might change, you know. Lots of new mums feel down in the dumps. I can’t imagine having the responsibility of such a tiny little baby, so don’t be too hard on yourself, that’s typical of you, that is. I’ll come round and help when I can if you like.’

‘Would you? Really?’

‘Yeah, why not? I like babies. As long as I can hand them back at the end of the day.’ Vera grinned and made silly faces at David. ‘Just don’t ask me to give him a bottle. Drives me mad when they dribble all over your new clothes.’

‘If the baby ruins one thing, Fred gets me another,’ Alison said. ‘So I should be the happiest woman alive, shouldn’t I? I sound so ungrateful. He does everything and never complains. But even that makes me nervous.’

‘How d’you mean?’ Vera managed to take a sip of coffee while juggling David.

‘Well, I keep wondering when he’s going to want something in return.’ Alison flushed with embarrassment. ‘You know. Like we said before I agreed to marry him. I don’t think I could stand it if he touched me.’

‘Alison, you’ve not long had a baby,’ Vera pointed out. ‘Fred’s a kind man. He’s not going to drag you into bed. He respects you too much. Stop worrying about something that hasn’t happened.’

Alison stood up and began to pace in anxiety. ‘But one day he will, won’t he? We’re married. That’s part of the bargain. How will I put up with it? I can’t even think about it.’

‘Then don’t,’ said Vera firmly. ‘I know it’s hard, but you have to take things one day at a time. The baby might change in looks as he gets older and Fred’s not the sort to force you to do anything, in bed or out of it. So count your blessings.’

Alison sat back down. ‘I know. You always talk sense, Vera. Just keep coming round and telling me that.’

Vera beamed. ‘Try and stop me. This flat is the bee’s knees. One of these days I’m going to have one just like it.’ She sighed. ‘Not sure how though. Oh, by the way, you seen Neville lately?’

Alison shook her head. ‘No, he and Hazel haven’t been round here at all, not since I moved in. They’re meant to be coming for Sunday lunch tomorrow with Mum, Linda and family so they can all meet David. Well, Mum’s been already but the others haven’t. Can’t see Hazel rushing to congratulate me, can you? Why d’you ask?’

Vera hesitated, now unsure whether she should go ahead and say what state the man had been in. Then she decided Alison should be forewarned. ‘I happened to meet him after work the other day and he looked in a right state. His face was all bruised. He said it was nothing but to be honest I didn’t believe him. Looked as if he’d been fighting, which took me by surprise.’

‘Fighting? Neville?’ Alison didn’t believe it either. ‘He never gets in fights. He just wouldn’t. He’s not like that. Never.’

Vera sat back, her voice growing cautious. ‘No, that’s what I thought. But still …’

Alison gazed at her. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I felt so sorry for him. He seemed so miserable, I got him to come for a drink. He didn’t say anything, it was more what he didn’t say. It was like he was glad of an excuse not to go home.’

‘No, that can’t be right,’ said Alison. ‘Do you mean he was avoiding Hazel? But they’re mad about each other. Doesn’t make sense. Hang on, you don’t mean Hazel had a fight with him? She hit him?’

‘He wouldn’t be the first,’ Vera pointed out.

Alison was having none of it. ‘No, you’ve got that wrong. That wouldn’t happen. She’s been going on about how wonderful he is ever since she met him, she wouldn’t do that. Mind you,’ she raised her eyebrows at her friend, ‘she’d better not find out that he had a drink with you. You’d better watch it if she gets wind of that. You’ll never hear the last of it.’

As it turned out Alison didn’t get the chance to see the damage for herself as Neville didn’t come on Sunday. Hazel arrived with Cora, full of excuses – he hadn’t felt well, had a bit of a cold, and didn’t want to give it to the baby. Hazel held the real reason close to her chest, somewhat ashamed that her attacks on him were so visible. But what she had learned that day made her even more angry when she got home to the flat.

Neville had taken advantage of her absence to catch up on sleep he’d missed while working the late shift. He was muzzy-headed when he heard the front door slam hard and barely had time to gather his thoughts when Hazel verbally laid into him.

‘So what have you been doing with Vera Jewell?’

‘What?’

‘Vera Jewell. You’ve been seen out with her behind my back. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? That tart got her claws into you, has she?’

Slowly Neville realised that Vera’s private spot for a quiet drink wasn’t as private as they’d thought. Maybe they shouldn’t have been so careful about it as they’d now run headlong into the very thing they’d wanted to avoid.

‘It’s nothing like that,’ he protested. ‘I went for a drink with her, just one drink, just once. It was completely by chance. I saw her outside the department store after work and she said she was cold. She said a drink would warm her up but that she couldn’t go into a pub on her own. I felt sorry for her and as I was freezing too I didn’t see the harm in having just one drink with her.’

‘You must think I was born yesterday,’ Hazel fumed. ‘I pop out to buy a Sunday newspaper and Ron Small stops me in the street. Ron Small of all people, I ask you. Tells me you was seen hiding away in your cosy little snug with that tart. Could have knocked me down with a feather. I had to make something up on the spot, said I knew all about it. Bet you thought you wouldn’t be found out, didn’t you? Chose the place special, did you?’

‘Yes, of course we did,’ Neville snarled back, for once stung by the injustice of it all. ‘Because we knew what you’d be like if you heard about it. And sure enough, here you are. Just like we thought. And all over one little drink.’ He thanked the stars he’d never told her about Vera helping to choose the ring. That would have been the final straw. ‘Seriously, Hazel, one drink. With an old friend. Where’s the harm in that?’

‘Old friend or old flame? Is there something you haven’t told me?’ Hazel blazed, flinging off her coat so that it knocked over the vegetable rack in the corner of the kitchen. ‘Is that why you can’t get it up with me? Guilt is it? Guilt that you’ve been seeing that tart Vera Jewell behind my back?’

‘Don’t be daft, Hazel. When would I get the time to do that?’

‘Found time to go drinking with her, didn’t you? How do I know you’ve been working late like you said and not sneaking off to be with her all the time?’

‘Because you check the bank balance,’ Neville pointed out. ‘It doesn’t grow on its own. So stop being so daft. Come here, don’t be silly, I don’t give a fig about Vera Jewell.’

Hazel whirled around. ‘And do you know what else I found out today? My sister Linda’s having another baby. Perfect Linda, always gets what she wants when she wants it, and now she wants a second baby when I can’t have even one. And I’m not going to get one, am I?’ Tears of frustration began to run down her face. ‘Two bloody babies, a husband with a decent wage and just moved to a bigger house. Hasn’t a care in the world. And when I says to Mum that it’s all unfair, do you know what she tells me? I told you so. That’s all I get from her. I told you so.’

‘Come on, Hazel …’

‘And that’s not all!’ Hazel screamed. ‘Mum told me that Alison’s place is like a palace. We had a good laugh, didn’t we, my ugly sister marrying old Fred, the ugly butcher. Thought we were so clever. Well, she’s had the last laugh. They’ve got all the latest furniture, like in those shops we saw but better, Mum says. They’ve got a kitchen full of everything like in a magazine. They’ve got gas fires everywhere and even spare rooms. It’s huge, it’s gorgeous, and she’s got everything new – her clothes, the baby’s clothes. Fred runs round after her like his number’s come up on ERNIE. You have never seen anything like it. And that’s my sister, my stupid sister who went and got herself pregnant by some no-good runaway. How is that fair?
How is that fair?
’ Gasping for breath, she dissolved into a flood of tears.

Neville went to put his arm round her.

‘Get off me,’ she growled. ‘Don’t take one step closer. I mean it. Get away from me. Get out of my sight.’

‘Hazel …’

‘GET OUT!’ she screamed. ‘Take your useless face out of this room. Get out, get out. You’re no good for anything. You can’t give me a lovely flat or a new baby or any fun in bed. You’re a fake, Neville Parrot, and I can’t stand to have you near me.’

‘Well.’ Neville tried to keep calm, telling himself she didn’t mean it. ‘If that’s how you feel, I’ll go for a walk.’

‘And don’t go running to that tart! I’ll hear about it if you do!’

‘Hazel,’ said Neville with as much dignity as he could, ‘keep your voice down. Beryl will hear.’

‘See if I care!’ she shouted, but as he put on his coat and cap she knew he was right. The door slammed shut behind him and she collapsed at the kitchen table, her head in her hands, as sobs shook her again. What had gone wrong? They had been the golden couple only a few months ago. Now everyone around them had exactly what they’d always dreamed of except for her. She was stuck in this miserable flat with a husband who was useless in every department. She wondered what she’d seen in him for all that time they were courting. Take away his looks, and what was he? And although his looks hadn’t changed, they were no good to her if he couldn’t put them to use and please her in bed. Grimly she realised that at least one thing he said was right. Beryl would hear. Then Beryl would tell Winnie and soon all of Battersea and beyond would know. They’d see Neville’s face and put two and two together. She couldn’t have that. She’d better watch her temper in future. She didn’t want to get a reputation. But what was she to do? Everything in her whole life was unfair.

‘No Neville tonight?’ asked Bill on his way in to the main workshop. ‘I thought he was down for this shift.’

‘No, he had some family do and wasn’t sure how long it would go on for,’ said Frank, ticking Bill’s name off the list on his clipboard. ‘They were going to meet the new baby. You know, Hazel’s sister’s.’

‘Oh, the one they were trying to pretend wasn’t on the way at the wedding?’ Bill grinned. ‘She’s married to old Fred the butcher, ain’t she – the little fat one. And her so tall and skinny.’

‘Yep, between them they’ve got all the angles covered.’ Frank yawned. ‘Anyway they got a baby boy by all accounts. Marian was in there the other day ordering her turkey and Fred was over the moon, saying how wonderful he was. So just goes to show, you don’t need good looks to be happy.’