A Deep Dark Secret (10 page)

J
ILLIAN AND
L
AYLA WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN AND SAT
across from each other. “Good morning, Mom,” “Good morning, Mommy,” they each said one after the other.

“Good morning, girls,” she responded, and Jillian saw tears forming in her mother’s eyes. “Breakfast is almost ready.”

Jillian hated seeing her so upset, and just knowing that her father was the cause of it made it all that much worse. Ironically, he was now entering from the garage, looking as though he was some sort of victim. He wore a noticeably pitiful expression on his face, but Jillian wasn’t buying it.

He sat down at the table with them. “There’s something I need to talk to you girls about. I’ve thought about how I would tell you this, but the truth of the matter is there’s no easy way to say this, except, Daddy’s going to have to go away for a while.”

Layla wrinkled her forehead. “Why, Daddy?”

“It’s sort of hard to explain, but Daddy and Mommy need to spend a little time apart.”

“Is that why Mommy was crying last night?”

“Yes. Daddy made a mistake, but he’s very sorry about it.”

“What kind of a mistake?”

Jillian couldn’t wait to hear his response.

“It was a grown folks kind of mistake, but what I can tell you is that I’ll never make a mistake like this again and that I know for sure that God is going to work everything out. I love Mommy, and I love you and Jill, and I promise I’ll make things right and will be back home in no time.”

Layla looked at him, then at her mom, and then at Jillian with misty eyes. “Daddy, I don’t want you to leave us.”

Their father reached his hands out to her, and she went over and climbed onto his lap.

“Pumpkin, I know this is hard for you, but everything really will be all right,” he said, and then looked at Jillian. “I know this is painful for you too, princess. It’s painful for all of us.”

Was he serious? Did he honestly think she was feeling even the slightest bit of grief about his leaving? If he did, he was crazy. If he had any sense at all, he’d know just how overjoyed she was and that she couldn’t have been happier.

Her father hugged Layla for a few seconds and kissed her on her forehead. Then he stood, stepped around the table, and did the same thing to Jillian, who still said not one word to him.

After that, he walked over to their mother. “Baby, please. I’m begging you to reconsider. It’ll be so much easier for us to try to work things out if I’m right here with you.”

“Byron, please just go.”

Jillian watched him pause for a few seconds, displaying a pathetic and sad look on his face, but then he finally grabbed his duffel bag and left. She was sure he needed a lot more clothing than that, so maybe he’d already packed the rest of his things in his truck. What she hoped was that he’d taken just about everything he owned, so he wouldn’t have to come back there any time soon.

Their mother wiped the wetness from her face and then set a bowl of grits, a dish of scrambled eggs, and a plate of turkey sausage links down in front of them. Sadly, though, Layla cried more intensely and their mother tried consoling her. Jillian hated seeing her baby sister so unhappy, and she felt even worse for her mom, who was now shedding just as many tears herself. She felt terrible and even a little guilty because for her, today was a wonderful time of celebration.

Her mother sniffled a couple of times and then looked up. “Jill, I know this is just as difficult for you as it is for Layla, and I’m so sorry that we have to go through this.”

“No, Mom. I’m the one who feels sorry.”

“Sorry for what, sweetie? You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry that you’re feeling so sad.”

“I know, but I’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine. You’ll see.”

Her mother sat holding Layla for a few minutes longer until she was much calmer, and then Jillian and Layla ate their food. They mostly sat in silence, and when they finished, Layla went back up to her room to watch television, something she always did whenever it wasn’t quite time for her to leave for school yet.

Their mother opened the dishwasher and stacked inside one dish and utensil after another. “So, how’s Nikki doing?”

“When I spoke to her last night, she was still feeling kind of down, and she didn’t sound much better when she called here this morning.”

“Is she going to school today?”

“Uh-huh. Her mom is driving her, though, and she wanted to know if I would ride with them,” she said, but didn’t tell her that Miss G had found out the truth and was actually
demanding
that Nikki go back to school today.

“Well, unfortunately, it’s probably going to be very hard for her, because I got a call from Shelly’s mom yesterday saying that some little boy Nikki was calling herself going with talked her into having sex with him and two of his friends.”

Jillian was shocked to hear what her mother had just said because she hadn’t planned on telling her mother anything. Not about the kids at school and all the rumors they were spreading or that, yesterday, Nikki had finally admitted the truth to her.

“So, is that what happened?” her mother asked.

“Mom, Nikki is my friend, and I don’t want to say anything that will get her into trouble.”

“That’s all well and good, but I can’t help worrying about the effect all this is having on you. Don’t get me wrong. You’ve always been the model child, and I’ve always been very happy about that, but it’s like I’m always telling you, I still remember what it was like being twelve. You become a lot more interested in boys, and sex is always an issue.”

“But I’m not like Nikki, and I would never let any boy talk me into doing that kind of stuff.”

“Well, I’m really glad to hear that, because at your age, sex should be the furthest thing from your mind. You, Nikki, and
every other girl should be focusing on school and on having the kind of fun young ladies can be proud of. Sex is something you shouldn’t even have to think about until you’re a whole lot older.”

Jillian slightly changed the subject. “I just feel bad for Nikki because I know all those kids at school are going to be so mean to her.”

“I feel bad for her, too, and also for her mom, because I’m sure this has got to be one of the toughest and most embarrassing incidents they’ve ever experienced.”

Jillian agreed with her mom and glanced over at the clock on the microwave. She knew Nikki and Miss G would be there any moment, so she stood up, grabbed her book bag from the corner of her chair, and slid it over her shoulder. But when she saw her mother crying again, she dropped her bag back down and went over to her. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing, sweetie. I’m okay, and you’d better get going.”

“But I can miss school today if you want. I can stay home if you need me to.”

“Honey, no. I’m just a little upset about your father and me, and I miss him already.”

Her mother’s words forced an ice-cold chill up Jillian’s spine. “Well, at least you still have Layla and me.”

“I know. And don’t you worry about a thing, because I’m already praying for God to fix this. I’m praying that your father and I will be able to get past these problems we’re having, so that the four of us can get back to being just as happy as always.”

Jillian hugged her mother good-bye but didn’t dare say what she was thinking—that
she
was praying, too—except her prayer was for a totally different outcome. She didn’t have it in her heart
to tell her mom that what she really wanted was for her to file for a divorce.

Just as Jillian prepared to head toward the front door, Layla came back into the kitchen. “Mommy, when are we leaving?”

“In about ten minutes, so why don’t you run upstairs and grab my purse?”

“You’re going to work in a T-shirt and sweat pants?”

“No, Mommy isn’t going to work today. She’s staying home to get some rest.”

“Oh.”

Layla ran back upstairs again, and Jillian heard Miss G honking her horn. “See ya later, Lay,” she yelled up to her sister, and then hugged her mother a second time. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, sweetie, and you have a good day.”

W
HEN
M
ISS
G
PULLED IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL, THE
bell still hadn’t rung yet and all nine-hundred-plus pairs of eyes settled on Nikki.

“Oh my God, Mom, look at them. Look how hard they’re staring over here.”

“And?” Miss G said angrily. Jillian had never seen her so furious.

“Mom, I can’t do this. I just can’t. So, please let me go back home for at least another day.”

“You should have thought about that when you were spreading your legs for those mannish little boys.”

Jillian didn’t move an inch. She was afraid to even blink.

Nikki turned all the way toward her mother. “I’m so sorry, Mom, but please don’t make me go in there.”

“Like I said, you should have thought about all of this before
you did something so stupid. And don’t get me started on that ridiculous lie you made up about those mysterious girls jumping you. You lied straight to my face, and now you’re going to have to deal with the consequences. Then, when school is out, I want you to bring your little sneaky behind straight back home because it’s like I told you this morning, you’re grounded for the next three months. No TV, no iPod, and unless it’s about homework, no phone calls, no computer, and no company. And I’m still calling that boy’s parents when we get home this evening.”

Nikki eased open the car door and stepped out, and Jillian, fearfully, thanked Miss G for the ride.

As they strode through the crowd of students and up closer to the building, tons of them pointed and whispered and some even sniggled. Nikki looked back at her mom, who was driving away, and Jillian said, “Forget these silly kids, Nik. Don’t even think about them.” Words that were all great advice until they walked inside and a clique of girls that included Ashley and Shelly gawked at Nikki like she had some sort of contagious disease.

“Choooo-choooo, choooo-choooo,” one of them vocalized, mimicking the sound of a train.

Jillian nudged Nikki along. “Girl, just ignore them.”

But as they continued through the hallway to Nikki’s locker, these same girls, at least seven of them, followed closely behind.

“Just look at that little tramp,” the tall, stout one said; she was obviously the ringleader. “Lettin’ three boys run a train on her like some low-life hooker.”

Nikki looked at Jillian, and all seven girls laughed out loud. Jillian was astonished at how quickly Ashley and Shelly had turned on Nikki. They were such traitors, and Jillian was done being friends with them.

The ringleader moved closer to Nikki. “That’s what that little trick gets for tryin’ to be all that. Thinkin’ she’s so cute.”

They stood for a few seconds longer and then walked away, still ranting one awful thing after another. When they were out of sight, Nikki dialed in her combination, opened her locker, hung up her leather jacket and backpack, and pulled out her history book. When she closed it, she and Jillian turned around to more bad news: Marcus and his teammates. Jillian could tell Nikki was practically praying that Marcus would say something to her—anything—but all he did was glare at her with a smirk, shake his head like she was nothing, and keep going. His friends snickered like she was a huge joke, and soon after, Jillian saw tears rolling down Nikki’s face again.

“Don’t worry about them,” Jillian told her. “I’ll walk with you to your first class and if you need me, all you have to do is come get me out of mine.”

“I have to take this letter my mom wrote to the office. It’s for my absence yesterday.”

“Is she planning to report what happened on Friday to the principal?”

“I think she is, and if she does, Jill, Marcus will never speak to me again. He’ll never have anything else to do with me.”

It was probably better for Jillian not to comment one way or the other, because if she did, she was sure Nikki wouldn’t be too happy with her—not when, right now, all Jillian could think about was how naïve and simple Nikki was acting. How lovesick she was over Marcus when even little Layla would have the sense enough to see that Marcus wanted nothing to do with her. He’d used her for sex and sex only, and the sooner Nikki realized that, the better off she would be.

O
NLY SECONDS AFTER THE BELL RANG,
J
ILLIAN WALKED OUT OF
fourth period and saw Kyle standing and waiting for her.

“So, how was class?” he asked as they started down the hallway.

“Good.”

“Do you have to go to your locker?”

“Yeah, I need to drop off my books.”

“It’s really too bad we can’t talk on the phone. You know that, don’t you?”

“What if I call you tonight?”

“That’s cool with me, but what about your dad?”

“Well, it’s not like he pays that much attention to every call I make, anyway, so I’ll just make sure I call you when he’s not around.”

“As long as you won’t get into trouble.”

“I won’t.”

When they arrived at Jillian’s locker, Nikki looked sadder than she had this morning. “I’m not going into that cafeteria,” she said matter-of-factly.

Jillian turned toward Kyle. “Hey, I’ll have to see you later, okay?”

“No problem. I’ll talk to you tonight,” he said, and left.

Nikki tried her best to smile. “Thanks, Jill. Thanks for sticking by my side and not cutting me off the way Ashley and Shelly have.”

“Girl, please. I would never do that to you. You’re my best friend, and you’ll always be able to count on me. Let’s just go into the library.”

“Okay,” Nikki agreed, but before they could take the first step in that direction, Marcus and four of his boys walked in front of them.

“So, what were you saying about that Nikki chick, Marcus?” the ugly one asked, acting as if Nikki wasn’t even standing there.

“What?”

“You know. The part about her being the dumbest girl you’ve ever been with.”

“Oh yeah. I guess I did say that, didn’t I? Shoot, I’ve got so many young hos runnin’ behind me till I can barely keep ’em straight.”

They all cracked up like they were watching a comedy show.

“I heard that, Marcus, man,” the ugly one continued. “Use those hos and then leave ’em right where you found ’em.”

Marcus looked at Nikki, but she and Jillian kept walking. His posse laughed even louder.

“Marcus, why are you doing this?” Nikki finally said. “Why are you being so cruel when just last week you said you loved me?”

Marcus stopped in his tracks.

“Girl, you must be crazy. I could never love you. I could never love any girl who gives it up faster than I can ask for it and then has no problem being with as many other guys as I tell her to.”

Nikki was speechless.

Marcus shook his head in disgust and then one of the other boys said, “Plus, Marcus, man, I can’t believe that skank thought she had you so fooled.”

“I know. Had me thinkin’ she was some innocent little virgin when she knew good and well she was just as broken in as all the
rest of these freaks around here. That chick was wide open, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she’d already been with a full-grown man.”

They laughed again and went on their way.

Jillian was thunderstruck.

“Oh my God, Jill,” Nikki hurried to say, but she seemed nervous and couldn’t keep eye contact with Jillian for longer than a couple of seconds. “Marcus has everyone thinking the absolute worst of me. They think I’m the biggest tramp in school, and there’s no way I can stay here. I have to go home.”

Jillian desperately wanted to ask her about the not-being-a-virgin thing but didn’t. “How will you get there?”

“I don’t know. Because you saw how angry my mom was. She’s totally through, and she’ll never leave work to come get me.”

“What about your dad?”

“He’s working, too.”

Jillian thought about her own mother and how she hadn’t gone to work today. If Jillian called and explained how bad things were for Nikki there at school, she knew her mom would gladly come pick her up. The only thing was, Jillian didn’t want anyone knowing about her parents and the problems they were having, and it was the reason she hadn’t uttered one word to Nikki. Of course, it was true that Jillian was more than thrilled about her father’s moving out, but what she didn’t want was people finding out that he’d cheated on her mother with an eighteen-year-old. The whole idea of it was beyond humiliating, and she didn’t want to be ridiculed.

But none of that mattered right now, because Nikki was more important. She needed her help, and Jillian would do whatever
she could to give it to her. Which was why she pulled her cell phone from her shoulder purse, the one she pretty much only used for texting and emergency phone calls. Although, in all honesty, she didn’t text nearly as often as most kids her age.

“My mom took the day off, so maybe we can call her.”

“Do you think she’ll be mad?”

“No, not at all,” Jillian said, dialing the number, and her mother answered almost immediately.

“Hi, sweetie.”

“Hi, Mom.”

“Is everything okay?”

“No, not really. Things are pretty bad for Nikki, and she wants to go home.”

“Did she call her mom?”

“No, because she’s at work.”

“Well, I don’t mind coming to get her, but I won’t do it unless her mom says it’s okay.”

“I’ll have Nikki call her now and then I’ll call you back.”

When Jillian pressed the end button, Nikki said, “I’m too afraid, Jill, so can you please do it for me?”

Jillian felt the same but went ahead and made the call. “Miss G? This is Jillian.”

“What’s wrong with Nikki?” she said without hesitation.

“Nothing…well…actually Nikki is having a really hard time being here. And, Miss G, it’s really bad. Those boys are saying such ugly things about her and a lot of the girls are, too. They’re saying stuff after every single class, and since my mom is off today, she said she didn’t mind coming to get Nikki if you said it was okay.”

“Fine, but you tell her that she’d better go home with your
mom and stay there until I pick her up this evening. I don’t want her even thinking about going home by herself because she’s already proven that she can’t be trusted.”

“Do you want to speak to her?”

“No, because I don’t have one thing to say to that girl.”

“Thanks, Miss G.”

“Good-bye.”

Jillian escorted Nikki to the school office the same as she had that morning and told her she’d see her when she got home. Then she headed toward her next class, which she had a test in. She felt sorry for Nikki, but she couldn’t wait to ask her the most important question of all: who
else
she’d had sex with but hadn’t bothered telling her about.