A Deeper Sense of Loyalty (4 page)

“Well, I guess you could hardly give him hell on his birthday,” Joseph said.

“I don't know that I would have anyway,” John replied. “I guess I do feel a little shame, keeping secrets from him all these years.”

“Forgive me, brother,” said Stanley. “But you're a damn fool. I've been telling you for years that it was a big mistake not only to keep it from James, but from your entire family. What was his reaction?”

“It wasn't good, I'm afraid. He was pretty upset.”

“I'm not surprised,” said Stanley. “I told you that if he ever found out the truth it would be far worse than if he had known from the beginning. Maybe you could keep such a secret from Mary and the girls. But how did you think you were going to keep James from ever finding out? Someday he will take your place. What did you think would happen then? That he would have accepted the facts of life just like my boys have, and Joseph's? They understand that we have our place in life and the niggers have theirs. I've wondered why I ever agreed to help you keep the truth from James, not to mention telling my sons to do the same. You should have taught him the difference between whites and niggers. He's a Southerner for Christ sake. Now it comes as a shock.”

John knew that Stanley was right but it was very difficult to admit it. “I can't apologize for what I've done. Mary didn't grow up around slaves and it is not in her to harm a fly. And you know what James went through when he was seven. The boy and his mother are a lot alike. I've heard of worse things than lying to protect your family. Maybe I thought that slavery would die out before this ever happened.”

“You know better than that,” said Stanley. “Slavery will never die out. The South depends on it the way it depends on the rain and the sunshine. Are you ashamed of the way you live your life? Are you ashamed of owning slaves?”

John felt his temper rising. The way in which he chose to appear before his family had nothing to do with how he personally felt about slavery. “I am not ashamed of anything, Stanley,” John retorted. “I do what has to be done and if I answer to anyone it will be to God Almighty. But even you will have to admit that what has to be done is not always pleasant or pretty.”

“Sure, John, I agree,” said Stanley. “It's a little bit like having to shoot a lame horse. You hate to do it, but it has to be done. James would have understood that and he would have understood why a nigger would have to be whipped. Like I said, someday he will have to handle such things.”

“And he will,” John replied. “We talked about what he'd seen, and although it wasn't easy, I believe that he understands now. I believe in my son. He is a Langdon and he is a Southerner. Mark my words: if there is a war, the South and I will be able to depend on him.”

“You can bet on it,” said Joseph. “We don't doubt it for a minute, do we, Stanley?”

“No,” said Stanley. “We don't.” John relaxed his posture. He felt better having gotten the load off his chest. He knew that James would be fine and what had happened that morning would have no lasting effect, no discord between himself and his son—he was sure of it. “Prepare as much as you can, brothers,” said John. “Then we wait for the election in November.”

All were in agreement and that put an end to the discussion for the time being. Each man extinguished his cigar, and forgetting about John's new stallion, they returned to the house to join their families.

 

Everyone did spend the night, and following a hearty breakfast the next morning, they all went to worship together. Little did John know that during the services his son was praying that God would help him do the right thing. To go against his family seemed impossible, but to live as a slave owner was deeply sinful. Although he could never be sure, James didn't believe that he would feel any different if he had known the truth all along. He thought of the possibility of the country splitting apart. If that happened, maybe it would put an end to slavery. But if it did, it would almost certainly mean that the South would have to be defeated. How could he pray for such a thing? What would happen to his family? Could the Almighty himself provide an answer to his problem? He must think it through. It would take time, but he must think it through very carefully.

When worship ended, the families said an affectionate farewell and everyone left for their respective homes. That evening at home, James's father called him into his office and immediately James was overcome by an uneasy feeling. He was sure that the conversation they'd had the day before would be resurrected. But to his surprise, his father acted as though nothing had happened. The purpose, ostensibly, was to finalize a few details concerning his new position. The following day, he was supposed to take over the bookkeeping. In part, he was grateful for the opportunity to get involved in his work. It would help to keep his mind off his problem, at least during the day. But sometimes, in the evening, he would saddle Star and ride to some lonely place to sit and contemplate the future.

He kept his distance from the compound and tried to erase the image of the whipping he'd witnessed. But it was no use. The spectacle was etched indelibly in his mind and he believed that only by trying to put a stop to such things would it ever go away.

Then came the day when something happened that would change his life and the lives of everyone in the country. On November 6, 1860, came the news that struck like a bolt of lightning into the very heart of the South. Abraham Lincoln had been elected as the 16
th
President of the United States.

 

 

 

THREE

 

Words of War

 

 

At one-thirty in the afternoon on December 20
th
, 1860, the South Carolina Legislature voted unanimously to secede from the union. There was little doubt that more southern states would do the same. Many southerners rejoiced, some wept.  

On January 9
th
, 1861, Mississippi followed South Carolina. The next day, Florida left the Union and Alabama the day after that. On January 19
th
, Georgia seceded, then Louisiana and Texas. By the first week of February, a new constitution had been adopted and on February 18
th
, Jefferson Davis of Mississippi was inaugurated as president; Georgia's own Alexander Stephens was chosen to serve as vice president. The Confederate States of America was born. James took it as a sign, believing that God had indeed shown him the way. Now it was time to make plans.

When the news that a new government had been established reached the Langdon home, John was quick to gather his family into the parlor. As he had advised his brothers months earlier, he had done all he could to prepare for a crisis should it come to pass. The time had come to prepare his wife and children. James had never seen his father in such a state of excitement. It was difficult to tell if his behavior was born out of elation or of fear. It was not, however, difficult to see the panic that covered his mother's face and the faces of his sisters.

In spite of the circumstances, his father spoke in a steady voice designed to inspire confidence in his words. “I am afraid that the years of talk have finally evolved into action. We are now part of the Confederate States of America. What will happen next is unclear, but I believe that war is not far off. If we do fight, I do not believe it will be a long, drawn out affair. Furthermore, in my opinion, the war will never reach Georgia. Still, we are part of a new country now and we must all support the cause in any way we can. Until further developments, we will conduct ourselves and our lives as usual with one notable exception. Miss Ambrose wishes to return to Portsmouth, which will leave Ashton and Kate without a teacher. For the time being, Mother will help them to continue with their studies. Let us put our trust in God that he might see us through whatever lies ahead.”

When he was finished, he got up and motioned for James to follow him out of the room. They walked down the hallway to the office; when they were inside, his father closed the door. “Sit down, James,” he said. Then he reached for a decanter of bourbon, and to James's surprise, poured two glasses. “Sip this. It will strengthen your resolve.” Then, seating himself facing his son, he said, “I did not wish to alarm your mother and your sisters any more than necessary, but I know that I can be more candid with you. We
will
soon be at war with the North. I feel it in my bones. I know something of Abraham Lincoln and a great deal more about Jefferson Davis. I do not believe that two more resolute gentlemen have ever squared off before. The atmosphere is at a fever pitch and more intoxicating than this bourbon. You know that I met with your uncles and a few other men in Macon yesterday. I can tell you that the South, generally speaking, is not contemplating a fight, but anticipating one. I am afraid that right now it would be difficult to find a level head, North or South. One of the biggest topics of conversation is about Fort Sumter in Charleston Harbor. The fort sits in Confederate territory but it still flies the United States flag. The people of South Carolina are in a rage over it and the rage is spreading like a prairie fire. The Confederate authorities have tried to induce the North to evacuate the fort but to no avail. The fort is surrounded by Southern gun emplacements and soldiers, but Lincoln says that he will run supplies to Major Andersen. Now it is only a matter of time. In addition to our state militias, military units are being raised all over the South. I am sure that you have considered the matter and I would like to know what your intentions are.”

James knew what his father was leading up to; and of course, he was right. The time had come for every man to place his loyalty. In the mess and confusion that becomes part of a divided country there would no doubt be a few Southerners who would fight for the North and a few Northerners who would fight for the South. James had no trouble deciding what was most important to him. He would fight if necessary, but not for either army. What he wanted most was freedom for the slaves. Therefore, he would never join the Confederate army because their cause would protect the institution. And even though slavery had been abolished in the North, the Yankees only cared about preserving the Union. So James vowed that he would follow in the footsteps of the only hero he had left—John Brown. To do so would require self sacrifice because the choice he'd made might very well destroy him in the end.

James did not intend to enlist followers as John Brown had; he did not plan to incite an uprising. It was, instead, his intention to work alone, taking a few slaves at a time and somehow helping them to reach freedom.

When he thought of how much he loved his father and how his heart would break if he ever found out, a lump formed in his throat and threatened to choke him. All he could do was pray that in the end understanding would be a savior to all.

The risks would be numerous. If caught by the South, he could be shot or hanged as a traitor. If he were caught by the North, his deep Southern accent and civilian clothing could get him shot or hanged as a spy. It would take daring and a constant reminder to trust no one. The only thing he really had on his side was a very willing spirit. He had some idea of how his plans would be executed, but the smaller details would have to be made up as he went along. The thought of helping a fellow human being gain his freedom somehow helped to minimize the risks, at least in his mind. It also made it easier to deceive his father, and when asked about his intentions, without hesitation he said, “I intend to fight for the Confederacy.”

With a smile that mirrored his deep felt pride, James's father lifted his glass and said, “Hurrah! Hurrah for the Southern Confederacy!”

They joined their glasses and swallowed the contents in one gulp. The fire of the alcohol burned James's throat the whole way down making him cough. Laughing, his father got up and smacked him on the back and said, “There now, soldier. Even those Yankees can't pack a wallop like Kentucky bourbon can.”

“I'm glad to hear it,” said James, after regaining his voice.

“So what will it be, James?” his father asked. “I was thinking you should consider the cavalry. You're an excellent horseman and I think you could gain rank quickly.”

“I think that the cavalry is a wonderful suggestion, Father. I don't really see myself as a foot soldier and I think Star would make a terrific cavalry mount.”

“Indeed she would, son. Your cousins, Clark and Jessie, want to join a Georgia artillery regiment. Joseph's sons are too young to join but I wouldn't be surprised if they find a way. I wish now that I'd sent you to VMI. Then you could begin as an officer. I've already tried calling in some favors in order to get you a commission but since you've had no military training they wouldn't budge.”

“I don't mind, Father,” said James. “I prefer to earn my way.”

“Spoken like a true Langdon, son. We always earn our way. I think I know just how you should go about it. I was reading in the Macon paper about a man named Wade Hampton. He is one of the biggest plantation owners in South Carolina. Word has it that he is organizing and equipping a legion of cavalry. They say that he has no military training so perhaps it would be easier for you to learn under a man like him.”

“It's settled then, Father. I will travel to South Carolina and join up with Hampton's legion.”

“This is outstanding, son. You probably won't be gone long enough to get homesick. You may not even see action, but it will be a good experience nonetheless. Have you thought about when you might leave?”

“I thought that I would wait for an official declaration, Father. After the first shot is fired I will be on my way.”

“I agree with your thinking, James. It will come, I assure you. Still, it wouldn't do to have you halfway to South Carolina if the Yankees should come to their senses.”