A Delicious Mistake (11 page)

He
had been out all night on patrol and so had not heard she had arrived. But once
he saw her—well, he had expected Sarah to be a slightly older version of the
cute but awkward girl he had known. Instead, he found himself facing a beautiful
woman. More than that, she was admittedly the most beautiful woman he had ever
laid eyes on. He had always been too busy, too taken up with the fate of the
Serengeti to really pay any attention to women. But how could he not pay
attention to Sarah? Hers was a striking kind of beauty—he never thought such a
woman could exist in real life.

He
felt mesmerized by her. He couldn’t help but stare, completely awestruck. He
didn’t believe he had ever before seen a woman quite as exquisite as the one
that now stood before him. The fact that it was Sarah Hutton, the awkward
little sister of his best friend, made his current predicament all the more
painful. What could he say to her to see the pain he saw tight on her delicate
features lessen? What could he do to relieve the hurt welling in those
startling green eyes? How could he make the most beautiful mouth with its soft,
pink lips smile instead of tighten with disapproval? She looked as if she were
made out of alabaster.

Her
petite form drew an immediate sense of protectiveness from him—and also a sense
of possessiveness. No woman had ever made him feel that way before, not even
the rare ones he had dated. He stared at her. He wanted to shield her from
every single danger of the world—and he held back the sudden and secret desire
to claim her for himself.

Something
crackled between them, something invisible but almost physically tangible in
its overwhelming intensity. This wasn’t the girl he had known. This was a woman
who attracted him. But her brother—hell,
his
brother—had just been
brutally murdered. She had just flown thousands of miles in what had probably
been abysmal aircrafts and now she had demanded answers. As much as he wanted
to act on his attraction to her, what was truly important now was to take care
of her.

Here I go again
,
he thought incredulously,
wanting to shield and protect her as if she was
still twelve and in pigtails.

Benjamin
swiftly shook himself. He was about to suggest they go somewhere quiet to talk
about what had happened, when he noticed a change in her. Something shifted.
She stiffened. Her fine, soft features hardened in such a way that she seemed
to turn to stone right in front of his eyes.

She
spit questions at him, ones he took and ones that made him wince and turn away.
But she would not let him go. She stepped in front of him and asked the worst
question, the one that still haunted him.

“Why did you let it happen?”

A
cold, icy note in her voice made him shiver. His stomach churned and his heart
began to thunder in his chest from something that most definitely was
not
a surge of desire.

He
had asked himself that question so many times now. It was one reason why he had
switched to taking night patrols—he could at least be out with the animals and
the stars instead of in his bed with his guilt. He stared at her and shook his
head. What could he say to her?

 “He
trusted you!” She spoke as if the words might break her, as if pleading for
something from him that he did not know how to give her.

He
glanced at her and saw accusation in her eyes. Folding his arms, he met that
look with one he had given others who wanted to think him guilty. “Go home,
Sarah. You should not have come. Africa has nothing for you now.”

 She
shook her head, her red hair glinting in the sunlight. “Not until I find my
brother’s murderer.”

He
winced again. Sarah kept her voice low. For that at least he was grateful. The
last thing he needed was for anyone to overhear her. If she believed him guilty,
others might decide that was enough and he might be lynched.

Sarah
continued to stare at him, her eyes a pair of green blades as they all but
impaled him with their accusatory stare. “What happened?”

Is she really asking me this?

Benjamin
could not believe it. He had thought the Huttons at least would understand. Now
he knew he had no friends here. Luke’s death had taken everything from him.

 “Tell
me, Benjamin Ndlovo. Why is my brother dead?”

I don’t know
, Benjamin thought,
despairingly. He shook his head. If he told her that, it would give her
nothing—less than nothing. She glared at him and demanded, “Why are
you
being investigated?”

Because they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing
,
Benjamin thought, angrily. Another thing Sarah didn’t need to hear. It would
only make her more determined to step into something dark and dangerous. He
couldn’t encourage this idea of her trying to investigate Luke’s death. That
might bring her up against poachers and perhaps even worse men.

But
what could he tell her?

He
saw a flicker of doubt in her eyes but he didn’t dare latch onto it. Perhaps if
she believed him guilty she would hound him for answers and would not go
looking elsewhere for her brother’s killer. Maybe he could keep her safe by
keeping his silence and letting her think she needed to make him confess. He
owed it to Luke to keep Sarah safe, and his blood heated when he thought of
anyone trying to hurt her.

He
met her stare and said nothing.

But
he couldn’t find the strength to say it out loud.

“Damn
you—I’m going to find answers.”

“Go
home, Sarah. Leave this to the police.”

“And
to you? You’ll find Luke’s killer for me? Is that what you’ll do? Thanks—I’m
staying. I’m not going home without all the answers.”

Benjamin
let out a breath. How was he to protect Sarah if she really was intent on
poking into a murder? He had to find a way to keep her looking at him, to keep
her thinking she could get him to confess to the crime. That would keep her
from going to dangerous places on her own—as Luke had done.

His
throat tightened.

Why
had he let it happen? Why hadn’t he gone with Luke?

No
matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the guilt. It was his fault. He
should have known something was wrong. He should have known something was going
to happen. He should have known he was going to lose his brother.

Why did he let it happen?

I don’t know, Sarah. But it’s my fault,
he
thought. A hard knot of pain twisted in his chest.

He
couldn’t tell her that now. But he would find her the answers she wanted. He
would find them for her—and for Luke. And he would keep Luke’s sister safe from
everyone—even himself.

Chapter Seven: Journey to the Hills

               
Hours later, the more Benjamin thought about it, the less sense Sarah’s painful
accusations made. It was one thing for her to be grieving for her brother to
the point of no longer being able to think, but it was another matter entirely
for her to even remotely consider him capable of killing Luke. The fact that
she thought he could do such a thing had hurt.

“You’re
not yourself, Sarah,” he had told her, as gently as he could. “I can only
imagine the pain you must feel, but please, take heed of the words you speak.”

“Oh,
sure, you look downright grief-stricken,” Sarah had retorted with a razor-sharp
tongue. “My brother showed you nothing but kindness, and you abandoned him.”

She
had thrown out other allegations then, which probably stemmed from what little
information the police truly had and the rumors they had chosen to spread in an
effort to make it look like they had a firm grasp on the case, which they
didn’t have, of course. She had informed him the police seemed to think he
could be collaborating with poachers.

“I
just don’t know what to think anymore,” she had confessed. Her rage had finally
dwindled enough that her tone had been reduced to a tired almost-whisper.

“You’re
way off the mark, Sarah,” he had told her with a calmness he didn’t feel. “Things
might be tough out here, but I live within my means and I’ve always been happy
with what I have. He had met her confused, enraged, accusatory gaze straight
on. “Somewhere in your heart you must know the truth.”

“You
and Luke left together that morning and only one of you came back alive. I
don’t want to believe it, Benjamin, but it just seems too convenient and too
improbable that you would know nothing about what happened.”

It
had been extremely difficult then to rein in his anger, but somehow he had
managed. He had heaved a deep sigh. “I’m glad you’re back, Sarah, truly. I just
never imagined it would happen under such circumstances. And I never imagined
we wouldn’t be on the same side” He had taken one step forward, but she backed
away from him. “You will think what you want to think, won’t you?”

She
had stood frozen, a lost look in her eyes.

He
hadn’t known what else to say to her, and so he had done the only thing he
could. He had turned sharply and walked away.

Even
now, he couldn’t stop obsessing over that senseless confrontation. He wanted to
defend himself, but what could he say that he hadn’t already said to so many
others? He kept coming up empty-handed. Did she speak for her parent’s as well?
The fact remained that without the support of the Huttons, there was no telling
what the future held for him. At this point, he couldn’t think about the chance
that he might lose his job. He had to find out what had happened to Luke. But
he just couldn’t stand the idea of being put behind bars for something he
hadn’t done. That would create a rift between him and those he had once
considered as being his second family, which could never be healed. He couldn’t
stand the thought that, by imprisoning him, the police would be allowing the
real killer to go unpunished.

He
kept telling himself this terrible misunderstanding could be undone, that Sarah
was simply grieving, and if she had been in her right mind she couldn’t believe
he had anything to do with Luke’s murder. But the truth was that he had did not
know this woman. What if she spoke from conviction rather than just pain? No,
he couldn’t bring himself to believe it. There
had
to be room somewhere
for faith in the human race. He would believe in her—and he had to trust that
one day he would somehow regain her faith in him.

For
now, though, she hadn’t left him with much choice but to see to getting some
space between them—for his sake as well as hers. More angry words between them
would only deepen the gulf between them. He would retreat to the foothills.
When faced with adversity, it was customary for his people to seek out the
solace of the rocky outcrops in the higher regions of the Serengeti to ask the
ancestral forefathers for guidance and counsel.

Still,
Benjamin couldn’t help but wonder what it was exactly that he was retreating
from? Was he merely seeking refuge from Sarah’s scathing accusations or did his
reasons go deeper? Could it have anything to do with his remarkable response to
her as a woman? He might have done a good job of disguising it, but the effect
she’d had on him had taken root within him like a budding stem. Now it reached
out toward every edge of his senses. Her scent, the blush on her pale cheeks,
the alluring green of her eyes that even in anger had sparkled so beautifully—he
couldn’t stop thinking about her. As he prepared for his journey, he became
more and more intrigued by his unexpected desire for Sarah Hutton. Its
intensity had shocked him, and for a very long time he realized just how lonely
the life he had chosen for himself truly was. There had never been much time
for love and romance. Apart from a few steaming, short-lived encounters,
Benjamin had more or less resigned himself to the single life. He had toyed
with the idea of starting a family someday and every time he found it was
indeed something he wanted. He wanted that very much—a home, not just a house,
and loved ones to share his life with. But such visions seemed a long way off.

Sarah’s
sudden reappearance had taken him unaware. He was unprepared for her beauty and
for his attraction to her. She was no longer the awkward, at times annoying
tomboy she had been during their younger days—she was all woman now. He
supposed it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would feel at least some level
of awareness toward her striking physical charms. Even if it was all too plain
that she hated him right now and was fervently wishing that it had been him who
had died in her brother’s place.

Suddenly,
Benjamin forced himself to snap out of it. Pouring water into the basin, he
splashed it onto his face and shook his head. He wasn’t going to dwell on such
things. Picking up the few things he had packed, he left his hut and the
perimeters of the Huttons’ Game Farms.

When
he finally made his way deep into the bush, he began to feel a blissful sense
of calmness settle deep within his chest. Hopefully, he would receive some sign
from the spirits of his forefathers during the time he planned to spend in
solitude. Here in the wilderness, he could properly mourn the death of his best
friend and brother and he could come to terms with his guilt. He should have
done this days ago but he, too, had not been thinking clearly. Just like Sarah.
He wished now that he had died instead of Luke. This would have been easier on
Sarah if it had been him waiting for a grave. He would give anything to trade
places, and even more to have his friend back.