A Different Kind (18 page)

“Oh honey, I’m so glad you’re home. You can help me with the decorations.” She set the knife down and walked to me. Grabbing me by the shoulders, she pulled me to stand before the pumpkin. “Now, should I make it a happy face or a scary one?”

I smiled. For the first time in a long time my mom and I sat down and worked on a project together. My lack of artistic ability sadly came out in the uneven features of our creations, but it was a good time nonetheless.

J
o didn’t come back that night. I’d hoped she’d call and let me know how things went with her parents. She didn’t. I thought about calling her, but I didn’t want to disturb them. I could only assume things went okay. Logan, however, texted me before I went to bed.

“How’d pumpkin carving go?” his message read. I went to my bedroom window and drew the blinds.

Logan, as usual, sat on his roof. He waved. Pushing my window open, I threw a leg over the sill. I sat on the ledge. My back rested against the window frame, and I dialed Logan’s number. Listening to the ring across the line, I watched him answer his phone.

“I still hate pumpkin guts,” I said when he picked up. “But it was alright. I don’t think any of my pumpkins had symmetrical faces though.”

Logan laughed. “No, they don’t. Your mom put them out on the front porch. But I think they look scarier that way.”

“Scary,
no
, I was going for funny.”

“Well, they definitely look funnier that way.”

We both laughed and a beat of silence followed.

“So…was your mom upset with you?”

“Don’t worry about my mom. She just…she had this dream where I was getting abducted and now she’s all paranoid.”

Images from the nightmare I’d had of the same situation flashed through my mind.

“Are you sure it doesn’t mean anything – her dream, that is?”

Across the street Logan shook his head. “No, it was just a dream.”

I smiled, but still I didn’t feel completely reassured.

“So, about this Halloween party?” he continued.

I smiled.

“Am I really invited?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you think your other friends are going to say about that?”

“You and Jo seem to get along just fine.”

“What about your
other
friends?”

I looked down at my blue jeans and picked at the stitching in the seam. “I don’t think I’ll be inviting any of them. They’ve kind of all turned against me.” I remembered how lunch had been that day. I’d avoided Hailey and my squad, once again sitting with Logan and Jo at the back of the room. Some of the girls had looked in our direction. It was obvious they were talking about me and maybe Jo too.

“Hailey still mad at you?”

“Her and Melissa, and it’s all because Jared’s an asshole – big surprise.”

“Well, don’t worry about it. They can’t stay mad at you forever.”

I smiled. “Thanks.” My eyes met Logan’s from across the street.

“So…is this like a costume party?”

I nodded. “Yep, and I have no idea what I’m going to wear yet. You don’t have to dress up if you don’t want to.”

Logan laughed. “No, I’ve got something in mind actually.”

CHAPTER

22

I
wanted to focus on my life that week. To, if nothing else, enjoy whatever time I had left. But my nerves still gained the upper hand, making my lab equipment in Bio shake until I calmed down. Luckily it only lasted a minute, and I had it under control before anyone noticed.

There was a teachers’ conference that day. We were let out by noon. After class Jo and I were walking to the parking lot when we spotted Hailey in the crowd. She stood outside the main doors, handing out cards. They were black with white writing and a spider web design. As we neared she handed a card to Jo.

“Joanna, I’m having a party next Friday. I hope you can come. Costumes are mandatory.” Hailey glared at me. “Sorry, Payton, Melissa and Jared are coming and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care, Hailey; I’m having people over tomorrow.” I wasn’t planning to make much out of my mother’s Halloween event, but suddenly I was reminded that this was going to be
my
week. And, after the fight I’d had with Hailey during cheer practice, the look on her face made me happy.

“What?”

“Yeah, and see you make…well, a lot of people uncomfortable, so you’re not invited.” Somewhere deep down I remembered Hailey and I used to be great friends, but with how she’d been treating me lately, I didn’t feel at all guilty about what I’d said.

Hailey made this offended huff of a noise. Jo handed her the invitation back. “Sorry, Hailey, I think one costume party is enough for me.”

A few feet away Bridget and Erica listened in. Freshman year most of the squad had been invited to Hailey’s birthday party, where among other games we cast a secret vote rating every girl on the squad. Points were calculated based on attractiveness, personality, athletic ability, and other random things we judged subjectively.

Bridget and Erica had placed at the bottom of the list, which meant we left them out of a lot of our activities. When they were included we brought them with us so we looked better by comparison, or to shell out some undesirable job. Once we went to Austin for a concert and only invited Bridget so we’d have a sober driver on the way home. It was unfair how we’d treated them. No, more than unfair, we’d been
mean
, but I had a chance to make it up to them.

“Bridget, Erica,” I called. Hailey’s head whipped around. “Costume party, tomorrow, my house, you’re both invited.”

Their faces lit up.

“Yeah, we’ll be there, for sure,” Erica said.

“Good.” I turned back to my former friend and said, “Bye, Hailey.”

I smiled as I walked away.

O
n the drive home Jo told me things had gone…okay with her mom the night before, and that her dad was more or less dealing with her being gay by avoiding the topic entirely. She said her mother reminded her that homosexuality was a
forgivable sin
(according to their church), and that she would be understanding of her daughter’s choices while she learned her life lessons. But she had also reminded Jo that she and Jo’s father loved her very much and that they wanted her to come home. It didn’t sound like the most perfect situation ever, but Jo seemed glad to have her parents back in her life.

I asked Jo if she wanted to go costume shopping with my mom and me, but she had plans with Nikki and said she already had a costume in mind. I asked her what it was, but all she said was that I’d like it.

Since Jo was busy that left me alone with Mom for our shopping adventure. Not that shopping with Mom was all that terrible; actually it was one of the more fun things to do with my mom. But I felt anxious knowing that the only thing I could do to keep from getting abducted again was to sit and wait for my appointment with Frank’s “guy” next Friday. That’s what I was thinking about when I walked in the front door and made Mom’s car keys, which she’d left on the entryway table, jingle as they floated into the air.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The keys dropped, hitting the table as Mom came around the corner. I opened my eyes just in time to see her looking at the entryway table, her eyebrows squished together.

“Hey, Mom.”

Her eyes snapped to me. “Oh good, you’re home. Are you ready to go shopping?” There was an excited squeal to Mom’s voice.

I smiled.

A
costume store had taken up shop in what was formerly some shoe outlet in the strip mall down the street. Mom and I browsed the pre-made costumes, packaged in plastic bags. I scanned the shelves, remembering the first Halloween Jo and I spent together. We were twelve. Jo’s family had just moved to town a few months earlier.

I’d gone trick or treating with Jo and her family. Mom had bought me a fairy costume, complete with sparkling wings and matching pink candy bucket. Jo was dressed as Dorothy, her mom had made her costume, and she carried a picnic basket for her candy bucket. Though I never told her this, I kind of liked her costume better.

“How about this?” Mom asked. I looked up to see her holding a feather duster in one hand and French maid’s costume in the other.

I shook my head: No.

Mom frowned, then continued browsing. “This would look cute on you,” she said, holding up a white nurse costume.

I shrugged.

“I remember dressing as a nurse just a few years before you were born. Your father and I went out, with him dressed as a surgeon. That was a fun night….”

Mom went on, smiling as she remembered the good old days before I was born, but my mind was stuck on one word: surgeon. Suddenly all I could think about was that I’d be having brain surgery in a week. That thought hit me hard. I’d been so wrapped up, thinking about how this was the solution to escaping the Greys, that I’d overlooked that it was
brain surgery.
I didn’t just have the Greys to be afraid of, but this procedure as well. What if I died on the operating table? What if I lived, but ended up with brain damage? What if I had to cut all my hair off? I felt my stomach twist. Why hadn’t I thought of this sooner?

“Payton, sweetie, are you okay?”

Mom looked at me, concerned. I wondered if I should tell her I was going to have a serious surgery, one I might never wake up from. Knowing I was about to do something that could get me killed seemed like the kind of thing I should tell my mother about, but what would I say?
Hey Mom, I was abducted by aliens and need to have brain surgery to remove the chip they implanted in my head.
Yeah, not unless I wanted her to ship me off to the looney bin. I wanted to tell her, but there was no way she’d believe me. If she did anything to keep me from going to that appointment on Friday, I’d lose my last chance of escaping the Greys.

Mom’s lips were thin. She was worried. I must have been really zoned. Looking at her, staring at me with such concern, I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to comfort me and tell me everything would be alright. I wanted her to hold me the way she did when I was seven and tripped leaving the monkey exhibit at the zoo, scraping my knee.

“What’s bothering you, honey?” It was rare for her to ask how I was feeling.

I wanted to spill everything.

But I couldn’t.

Instead I focused on the most insignificant worry I had. “Would you still love me if I was keeping secrets from you? Like, if I came home one day with my head shaved and said I couldn’t tell you why?”

“Head shaved? Payton, please tell me you’re not planning to do anything crazy with your hair.”

“Mom, that’s not what this is about.” I sighed. “I just want to know…I just want to know that you’d be there for me, even if I was different.”
Like mutated by aliens different
. “And that you trust me to make my own decisions, even if you think I’m crazy for making them…like shaving my head.”

A moment passed where Mom’s eyes rocked back and forth. She let out a huff and hugged me. I closed my eyes, thankful for her warmth. She brushed a strand of my hair out of my face as she pulled away.

“This is about Jo, isn’t it? You’re concerned about how I feel about you because of the things she’s going through with her parents?”

I opened my mouth to disagree, then shut it and nodded instead. Though I wanted to, I couldn’t tell her the truth.

Mom smiled. “You are a beautiful, intelligent, strong young woman, and I will love you regardless of any decision you make, or experiences you feel the need to have…even if that includes shaving your head bald. Though you do have such pretty hair, I’d hope that wouldn’t be something you want to do.”

I smiled.

“You’ve always been such an independent girl. I know your friends right now are your whole life and that maybe you feel that you and I aren’t as close as we used to be, and I know you can handle anything that happens in your life on your own. But I will always be here for you, honey. You’ll always be my little girl.”

Mom smiled. Though her words changed nothing, it felt like they made things better somehow. I was afraid of the Greys, afraid of being taking away from my home. I was afraid I’d die on the operating table to prevent that from happening. But for a moment Mom made me feel like I could handle it.

S
etting up for the party on Saturday was an all-day event. Mom decorated the house from floor to ceiling with Halloween themed items. Somehow she managed to make it look expensive and not cheesy. I had to give her props for that; she knew how to decorate. There were swaths of blood orange fabric. Silver candelabras with black candles were placed all through the house. Mom even replaced some of the paintings with these framed, ink drawn skeletons. When we were done the whole house felt gothic, but whimsical at the same time.

I was finishing up getting ready, touching up my silver eye shadow, when the doorbell rang. Mom yelled for me to answer it. I figured she was in the kitchen making sure the appetizers were getting put together perfectly. I grabbed my headband off my desk. Sliding it into place to complete my costume, I rushed down the stairs.

“Happy Halloween,” I said, opening the door. I broke into a wide smile upon seeing Jo.

She’d dressed as Princess Leia, wearing a long white turtleneck dress. Her costume was tighter than I remembered from the ten minutes of Star Wars I’d watched the time Jo’s little brother had stolen the TV remote. We’d had to fight him to get it back. I don’t remember there being a slit up the leg either, but it was still far less revealing than the metal bikini option.

“You look great,” I said.

“I thought so too, and look, I even got a prop gun.” She held up a black plastic gun.

“Forget the gun, that hair is awesome.”

Jo laughed. She had pulled her hair back and wore these fake buns on the sides of her head, held in place with a head band.

“Guess we both went for the alien theme.”

I frowned. “Huh, you’re a princess?”

“From another planet.”

“Oh right, and yeah I saw this and couldn’t resist.”

I wore a shiny, short green dress, white patent leather boots that went up to my knees (I’d bought them two years ago for this retro dance), and my headband had two springy antennae on it with shiny green balls on the ends.

Mom came around the corner a minute later dressed like Marilyn Monroe, her blond hair curled into waves. She hustled Jo and me into the kitchen to help with last minute prep. Slowly the house started to fill with guests. Vampires, princesses, flappers, and cowboys all shuffled through the door. Mom mingled among the crowd and Dad, dressed like a 1940s gangster, wearing a black pinstripe suit and white tie, finally came out of his office to enjoy the night.